Calling all bros: Girl advice

[J-Dogg]

Been with this girl for about 7 months, she says 9 though, lol.
Anyway, I’m a laid back dude. I work hard and my career is important. I’ve always tried to avoid financial stress and it think that’s good for a relationship, most people fight about money. So I do work a lot.

I have very little time in the day, I work 12 hours almost every day. I still make it over to her house almost every night to watch some TV and eat dinner together. We keep in touch though the day via text or cells.

Last night she went to a holloween party. I stayed home because I don’t get along with my boys girl and she was having the party. I told her she can go, but I just did not want to be around any drama or arguing out there. Drinking + Tension would probably lead to it. She asked if I could pick her up, and I objected to it because I can’t not show up, but then show up to pick her up. She says okay.
She goes to the party, stops by my place first so I could see her costume. She calls at 1am to see if I can pick her up and it leads to a argument. I just said we went over this at 2 PM. She setup a ride with her friends mom but she lived further away. I was fusterated at her lack of planning and told her there is a entire page of taxi services in the phone book, call one. She said I was rude, I felt she was too calling at 1am for a ride when we talked about it earlier.

We just talked and she feels she does more in the relationship, I agree. It stems from this ride and me not going out to eat a lot, or going on dates a lot. Most of our time spent is at one of our homes. I admit, I did not like her as much as she liked me, but in the past 2 weeks I’ve come around.

Her b-day is Wednesday and I’ve spent the last week trying to find her the perfect gift. She needs a TV for her room so I’ve been trying to find a good room sized LCD and wall mount. Planned on doing it while she was gone and having it all hooked up when she comes home. Then I found a good price on a PC and thought she might like that more, so I’ve been looking for a desk to get it all setup while she is gone and surprise her with it.

Now that she’s yelled at me about not ever doing anything for her, I don’t want to even do it because I feel she won’t realize I’ve been planning it. It was hard to take the heat when I’ve been spending time shopping around and thinking what to get her for the past weeks.

I feel like just breaking things off with her. I don’t ask her to change her lifestyle or expect her to live mine. I’m spending more time and money on her b-day than I do for myself on any day of the year. We talked about it, but she does not understand. She wants a guy who buys her flowers all the time, takes her out to eat all the time, goes to the movies all the time. I bought my ex a fish aquarium with fish and set it up for her to surprise her for her last b-day. I’m just not that standard “get you flowers” type of guy. I do it for v-day and such but I show my appreciation in a different way then what she wants.

She does not understand, and I hate to fight.

[Amorphic]

i dont think it would have been a big deal to just pick her up at the party.

what you said near the end is a concern though, if she wants a guy to spoil her all the time, take her out all the time etc and spend a lot of cash you might want to be careful.

if she genuinely cares about you and theres a good repour between the two of you i would just sit her down and go over your issues and try to work on a compromise.

you cant just work all the time and not have fun and she may just feel like you dont pay enough attention to her, and hell, maybe you need to unwind a bit too.

if you cant sit her down and talk without aguing then i would consider moving on, but i wouldnt jump the gun before making a good attempt to figure things out with her.

[J-Dogg]

i dont think it would have been a big deal to just pick her up at the party.

what you said near the end is a concern though, if she wants a guy to spoil her all the time, take her out all the time etc and spend a lot of cash you might want to be careful.

if she genuinely cares about you and theres a good repour between the two of you i would just sit her down and go over your issues and try to work on a compromise.

you cant just work all the time and not have fun and she may just feel like you dont pay enough attention to her, and hell, maybe you need to unwind a bit too.

if you cant sit her down and talk without aguing then i would consider moving on, but i wouldnt jump the gun before making a good attempt to figure things out with her.

Thanks,

I guess the only reason I resisted going to pick her up was it was 1am, I was sleeping. We had discussed it earlier. A cab ride home would have costed her under $10. I'd never call someone to wake them up and give me a ride home 1am, that's what cabs are for.

I don't think she's a gold digger or anything, but to me spending time is important. It don't matter if it's at her house, mine, movies, dinner just being around one another is more important than the enviorment it is in. We go to the movies, dinner or meet for lunch at least once a week and we eat dinner together every night. I spend the night or she does at least 3 times a week.

We had the talk 2 times before. It ends with her saying she is a very needy person, she is a princess (her nick name). I just have a feeling that's how the convo will go again. In a few months, she'll get mad at me again and we'll go through this all over again.

[number twelve]

just pick her up who cares

[GT2]

Every relationship has problems. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months and we've had our fair share of issues, but at the end of the day, if you both love each other, nothing else should matter.

[J-Dogg]

just pick her up who cares

Seriously?

I mean we had discussed this at 2pm that I did not want to be her transportaion home. I just feel it's her responsibility to make the call to the cab or arrange for other transportation after that. Not wake me up at 1am and hope I'll think different after being woke up.

[J-Dogg]

Every relationship has problems. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months and we've had our fair share of issues, but at the end of the day, if you both love each other, nothing else should matter.

I like her, and I'm intrested in a long term relationship with her. I don't love her at this point though.

[GT2]

I like her, and I'm intrested in a long term relationship with her. I don't love her at this point though.

Fair enough. I'm with you on the fact you didn't pick her up, it was a matter of principle, and you stood by it. However, that stubbornness causes trouble in relationships. Sometimes you just gotta come short to make her happy.

[inky-e]

I feel you Bro...it was understood you weren't picking her up...like you said booze and arguments....sounds like the relationship means different things to each of you...I get a feeling that if you buy her that expensive gift...she's gonna dump ya...and then you're out the money and no girl....buy her a moderately priced yet thoughtful gift and see where this really going....unless you have cash to burn then screw it do the big gift.

[J-Dogg]

I'm well off, but I am smart with my money, I invest it well. I own a company and investment properties so I am carfull with girls. I am not really worried about it with her.

I am more carfull with my heart, i don't open up real fast. I've learned to go into a relationship with caution. I just don't know if we are a match. She wants me to change my ways, i don't expect her to change hers.

I know I am the "uncommon" one and I've tried to get girls in the past to take intrest in what I do. I've learned if you request someone to change too much, they become miserable and it is unhealthy to both parties. She is 7 years younger than me and maybe has not has a similar experience.

[J-Dogg]

Fair enough. I'm with you on the fact you didn't pick her up, it was a matter of principle, and you stood by it. However, that stubbornness causes trouble in relationships. Sometimes you just gotta come short to make her happy.

I know I am stubborn, but I am also very thoughtfull. My stubborness in a way is my biggest strength, and weakness.

Anthony Robbins once said, "Stubborn people rule the world" He went on to address that they are to stubborn to fail, to give up, to do exactly what the world expects of them.

I'm smart with it, I don't talk about things right away because I know I'm hard headed. I think things through and make choices with out the emotion.

[inky-e]

I'm well off, but I am smart with my money, I invest it well. I own a company and investment properties so I am carfull with girls. I am not really worried about it with her.

I am more carfull with my heart, i don't open up real fast. I've learned to go into a relationship with caution. I just don't know if we are a match. She wants me to change my ways, i don't expect her to change hers.

I know I am the "uncommon" one and I've tried to get girls in the past to take intrest in what I do. I've learned if you request someone to change too much, they become miserable and it is unhealthy to both parties. She is 7 years younger than me and maybe has not has a similar experience.

Even if you were to change..you'll resent her for it...I've been married 22 years to the same lady...she gave up trying to change me after the first date..lol...the age difference isn't that much...unless you're like 23yrs old...lol..I always say...Relationships suck!!! hahaha

[J-Dogg]

Even if you were to change..you'll resent her for it...I've been married 22 years to the same lady...she gave up trying to change me after the first date..lol...the age difference isn't that much...unless you're like 23yrs old...lol..I always say...Relationships suck!!! hahaha

I tend to agree. I want to kind of just call her at this point and end it. We have been though this before. I don't want to make such a sudden choice though.

I've realized at this point though that she can really hurt me, and my reaction is "get out while you can".

[stpete]

You're well off? Can you loan me some bro? lol Just kidding bro.

Back to the issue at hand. Man, this sounds just like me. Can't she appreciate the fact that you work 12 hours a day? And go to bed when you go to bed? Plus, you have already told her no. And that's cool. So why did she call? Cause she thought you'd be there regardless. Or....you'd make exception for her. Was she testing you?

Break it off or buy her the gift. Hey man, no relationship is easy. And you haven't been with her for any time at all. Think about it and do what you feel is right. But i think you're right. Stick to your guns.

[Kale]

All I can so is "Go to Thailand" and you will forget that biatch in about 2.3 nano seconds !!!

[KatsMeow]

If that's the biggest of your problems I don't really think that is a huge problem, heck the last relationship I was in was a year and I never once got any flowers or any surprises, I think it shows that you have a good heart and are thoughtful to surprise her with such a nice gift for her birthday. Usually I only get dinner, but some people just expect a lot, I don't expect anything to be honest. But I think there are some women that will never be happy.

[gixxerboy1]

i don't know man. If my girl was stuck and needed a ride i would never tell her to take a cab. Thats f'd up in my opinion

[J-Dogg]

If that's the biggest of your problems I don't really think that is a huge problem, heck the last relationship I was in was a year and I never once got any flowers or any surprises, I think it shows that you have a good heart and are thoughtful to surprise her with such a nice gift for her birthday. Usually I only get dinner, but some people just expect a lot, I don't expect anything to be honest. But I think there are some women that will never be happy.

If that's your way of telling me to dump her and date you, you need to be more direct.

Kidding aside, my ex needed many material things to make her happy. She had depression problems and spending money on cloths, or generally anything cured that depression for a short period. I always felt it was a band-aid to the real problem though.

[J-Dogg]

i don't know man. If my girl was stuck and needed a ride i would never tell her to take a cab. Thats f'd up in my opinion

Stuck? It's not like she had a flat tire. Her friends mom opted to pick the 2 of them up. She just wanted me to do it. They arranged the mom to pick them because 12 hours prior I expressed I did not want to show up to a party I was invited to, and did not attend only to pick her up.

My best friend was there and wanted me to go, but I did not want to get into the tension me and his wife have for each other at this point with him.

[KatsMeow]

If that's your way of telling me to dump her and date you, you need to be more direct.

Kidding aside, my ex needed many material things to make her happy. She had depression problems and spending money on cloths, or generally anything cured that depression for a short period. I always felt it was a band-aid to the real problem though.

I'm just saying that I don't think that you guys have any really serious problems if this is the extent of them. If you aren't into her though, then don't waste her time or yours. Since you work a lot she probably just feels a little neglected but I think it says a lot that you at least try to eat dinner with her every night. I mean any time together is better than no time at all. But if she is one of those girls thats never going to be happy with what you do, then I would say you might as well just give up.

[scottythebody]

Don't go buying her a TV if you think things might not work out

[Older lifter]

Be who you are, some guys don't mind being a puppy dog at the girls beck and call, others do mind. which are you? answer that and then just be who you are, if she likes the real you no probs, if she doesn't it never would of worked anyway.....

[DSM4Life]

If that's the biggest of your problems I don't really think that is a huge problem, heck the last relationship I was in was a year and I never once got any flowers or any surprises, I think it shows that you have a good heart and are thoughtful to surprise her with such a nice gift for her birthday. Usually I only get dinner, but some people just expect a lot, I don't expect anything to be honest. But I think there are some women that will never be happy.

No one buys me flowers

[J-Dogg]

**** it, i'm writting her a break up letter and going to the bar like a real man.

[DSM4Life]

**** it, i'm writting her a break up letter and going to the bar like a real man.

A "break up letter?" Are you 12 years old ? Tell her face to face or at least call her.

[Amorphic]

A "break up letter?" Are you 12 years old ? Tell her face to face or at least call her.

definitely

[J-Dogg]

A "break up letter?" Are you 12 years old ? Tell her face to face or at least call her.

She'll beg me not to and change her mind about the complaints she has about me. I can explain my situation more clear though a letter than a conversation with her. If she wants to talk to me after she has it, she can call me.

[KatsMeow]

No one buys me flowers

looks like we are in the same boat babe

[Phate]

No one buys me flowers

looks like we are in the same boat babe

that sux, my favorite whores should be treated better than that, how bout for christmas i send ya'll some flowers and chocolates

[IronReload04]

i have read this whole thread. It just seems like you have had your mind made up on what you want to do.

[warchild]

sometimes you don't wanna get put of bed to pick up your drunk girl

[KatsMeow]

that sux, my favorite whores should be treated better than that, how bout for christmas i send ya'll some flowers and chocolates

you would be on my favorites list!!!

[KatsMeow]

She'll beg me not to and change her mind about the complaints she has about me. I can explain my situation more clear though a letter than a conversation with her. If she wants to talk to me after she has it, she can call me.

I think maybe you should give her the letter and then at least talk to her face to face. I think thats a respect issue.

By the way, I could totally use a new TV as well....

[J-Dogg]

i have read this whole thread. It just seems like you have had your mind made up on what you want to do.

You are probably kind of right, I probably just need to vent and realize it.

[Phate]

you would be on my favorites list!!!

hell yeah then, lol, this reminds me of a couple months ago when i ordered chocolate and midol for my stepfather for his birthday, but that's a story for the postwhore thread

[J-Dogg]

I think maybe you should give her the letter and then at least talk to her face to face. I think thats a respect issue.

By the way, I could totally use a new TV as well....

That's probably more appropriate. Going to wait until the morning, sleep on the issue.

It's not your b-day, no TV for you!

[KatsMeow]

Belated birthday gift? It was only last month?

[Older lifter]

Wow,,, you were going to buy her a new TV for her birthday....... The girls i dated were lucky if i remembered there birthday at all,,,,,, I did remember sometimes and felt very proud of that!!!!! lol

Don't just give a letter, that is not right mate, face to face

Good luck with it, and what ever, "NO REGRETS" life is too short

[Charger527]

Look at the good sides of both situations,

Side A: Keep going= you still going out, have a relationship which you have built the last half a year or so, and the benifits girlfriends provide

Side B: Dump Her= no girlfriend but there is plenty of fish in the sea, frees up your time so you can hit the gym more, and if you dont like being single you can always try to get back together.

[J-Dogg]

I slept on it, and I'm going to talk to her this evening.

It bothers me she does not notice what I do for her, or appriciate the time I do give her. While I expect nothing from her but a little time and I bring up none of her flaws.

She's a self centered brat. I remember one time bringing up my boys girl and the problems we've been happening, talking to her about that. I got 3 lines into it and her reply was "Gina said my mustache was not funny, but everyone else thought so" she wrote a mustach on my pointer finger and would put it on her upper lip.