The Marriage Thread - rules please abide

[Twist]

Everyone seems to have a view on marriage, And I wanna know it. I find this a very interesting topic.

What are real reasons to get married, or real reasons not to get married?

Rules
1. NO FEELINGS ALLOWED - Don't talk about your personal experience and how you met the perfect girl and you were soul mates etc etc. If we wanted emotional garbage we would stop taking the arimidex and turn on the notebook
2. Keep it short and to the point
3. keep this on topic
4. This is the lounge so there are no rules

Examples:
Don't get married cuz you are making a decision that is very hard to go back on.
There are some tax benefits to getting married (idk if that's even true and I think its the other way around, but I can't think of any reason to get married lol).

[SergeantCarbs]

Shotgun wedding here
Married 13 yrs as of this month, daughter will be 13 as of next month

[terraj]

Makes me laugh and has lips I can't stop kissing.

9 years

...that was gay

[Standby]

Makes me laugh and has lips I can't stop kissing.

9 years

...that was gay

x2

[D3m3nt3d]

I never married for benefits, atleast not my benefit anyway lol. I married for the commitment, because I loved her and I felt like I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I stuck to my vows, she on the other hand, did not

[DSM4Life]

Anal sex is the only reason your suppose to get married.

[D3m3nt3d]

Anal sex is the only reason your suppose to get married.

Never had it, wife was definitely against it.

[DSM4Life]

Never had it, wife was definitely against it.

File for a divorce ASAP !

[Knockout_Power]

Never been married, not sure what the future holds... from the outside looking in, Ive seen too many male friends drawn into marriage mainly because their women feel inadequate not having this ring by their friends who have a rings and keep constant pressure on them with comments like:

- oh baby, when's that man going to put a ring on your finger?
- maybe he's not the right one
- he has commitment issues
- he obviously doesnt care enough about you.

and after all that crap the woman starts pressring their men (subtely at first) making him uncomfortable and it gets worse over the next while and one of two things happen, he cracks and puts a ring on her for the sake of "taking that next step" whether they are ready for it or not and the feeling of the "ultimadum" making the decision rather than love puts a real problem in the guys head for the years to come or scenario # 2, the pressure ends up seperating the 2 in what was a perfectly amazing relationship before the topic came up.

And to make matters even more rediculous, the end result is that most of those friends who pushed for others to get married end up getting divorced within 2 years so its one big fvcken bullshit cake walk.

Not bashing the ladies, Ive seen some guys do some dumb shit in these situations as well. The difference is we dont pressure our guy friends to "take it to the next level" until we actually see that it is the right move...

Dumbest situation Ive seen recently (about 8 months ago) was a buddy of mine was with his girl for almost 3 years and he had planned a small 4 day get-away in San fran to take her shopping and sight seeing cause she's always wanted to go there. One night about 2 weeks before they left she sat him down and basically said she's had enough, shes going on 28, all her friends are married, they wonder why she isnt being proposed to yet and would like to know where he see's the relationship going and if its not along her timeline/timeframe then maybe its best that they went seperate ways so that she could get on with her life goals...

I only found out about this "discussion" because I could see the pain in his eyes the next day when we were working out. He was so fvcken happy for the month leading up to then and all he talked about was her and how he had this huge trip planned out for them. The fvcken ring cost him just under $20G and he had put aside another $10G just to take her shopping. The "suprise" factory of that "romantic proposal" that women always like to brag to their girls about and put pressure on us (that they dont even realise they do, intentional or not) was completely ruined so he didnt propse over the trip and they kind of just drifted apart over that long weekend in SF. Shortly after he returned, maybe a week or so, he told me she was moving out...

Now Im friends with both sides so I had talked to both of them after it happened and neither claims to know what went wrong. But one night less than a month later we were at a friends birthday party (he didnt show, Im guessing cause she was there) and she was drunk and started taking shots at him about how he got scared and ran, wasent really a man etc and I just got pissed off and ran my mouth (imagine that) whether it was my place or not... In front of everyone, I told her all about the original plans, the expensive ring, how he was even thinking about getting her into a new car cause she really wants one of those stupid mini coopers and basically everything else.

So in defending the guy who was getting slammed without being there to defend himself, I pissed off a couple people at the party who dont talk to me anymore (could care less) and when my buddy found out about it he wouldnt talk to me for what ended up being like 3 months.

Wow, I just wrote a novel, I hate typing... so go ahead, flame away if you actually put enough time into reading this crap... sorry for taking up so much space in this thread =)

[stack_it]

If your buddy didn't talk to you because you defended him you should tell him to fvck off and end the friendship.

[MR-FQ320]

I'm gonna marry her because she's the one for me.

[Standby]

i hope with you blowing up on her kp she felt like complete sh*t. she should have started crying her eyes out. everything you said is great points the day a girl tells me she wants me to ask her to marry her now cause friends. well lets just say id get laid as much as i could and still try for a piece of ass as she is walking out the door forever lol

[Standby]

If your buddy didn't talk to you because you defended him you should tell him to fvck off and end the friendship.

this too. he is pretty crazy

[Knockout_Power]

If your buddy didn't talk to you because you defended him you should tell him to fvck off and end the friendship.

we started talking again mid summer...

[Times Roman]

idk. I think it gives stability to the kids. and if you want your significant other to have medical benefits from your employer, marriage is a prereq. very few employers recognize eligable partners as recipients of medical benefits, without marriage. recently we now have civil union, but I don't think that works everywhere....?

the other thought that crosses my mind is it's romanticized aspect. People that have found "true love" get married. I think that's a little naive.... or maybe I'm just past that. I'm so screwed up, i don't think I have a "soul mate". I'll settle for someone that can put up with my sh1t, is easy to look at, common interests, and enjoys tossing in the sheets on a regular basis.

[stack_it]

When you ask a girl to marry you essentially what your saying is "here's my last name and half my stuff"



I don't see why two people who love eachother need to get married. A ring shouldn't make you anymore or less committed to the person if you truly love them. No sense in spending thousands of dollars on one day.

The religion is gone in marriage now. Very few people wait for marriage to have sex now. That was prolly womens single greatest weapon in getting guys to ask early. What is it the guy gets by getting married? Just more debt. Our friends don't care about getting married because our other friends did.

[Times Roman]

When you ask a girl to marry you essentially what your saying is "here's my last name and half my stuff"



I don't see why two people who love eachother need to get married. A ring shouldn't make you anymore or less committed to the person if you truly love them. No sense in spending thousands of dollars on one day.

The religion is gone in marriage now. Very few people wait for marriage to have sex now. That was prolly womens single greatest weapon in getting guys to ask early. What is it the guy gets by getting married? Just more debt. Our friends don't care about getting married because our other friends did.

marriage isn't just about the bride and groom. it's also about the future, and potential children. I'm going to pull a "fact" out my ass (means I'm just guessing), but relationships are more stable (especially for the children) when the parents are married, as opposed to just shacking up. The law views married couples differently than unmarried couples. (buying and owning a home, employer benefits, estates, etc.) And personally, if I see a couple that has been together long term, since they were young, and NOT married, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking they either just "settled" for each other and are too lazy to break up and find what they really want, or are afraid to evolve the relationship by making a commitment. Either way, it seems pretty indecisive. But that's on me, not them.

And one last thing about marriage. It means you take a stand, and come out about who you are and how you feel, openly, and publicly, to your family and your community. It says we are now a committed couple, and we will not only act accordingly, but expect to be treated as such.

BTW, I don't go to church, or necessarily religious, so don't hammer me about that.

[Knockout_Power]

I would believe all this if marriage statistics didnt show that less than 40% of marriages work out.

Not that I actually like reading, but I accidentally picked up a magazine a while ago and read an article that claimed that their study showed that of over 10 thousand people surveyed, roughly 70% claim to have either cheated or have been cheated on in a relationship...

maybe not relevant to the original topic, but how does this make you believe in any of the morals/ethics/beliefs associated with marriage if statsically, you cant even trust the person you are with. By those numbers, with only 3 out of 10 being faithful people, theres basically a 15% chance of 2 of these people finding someone who has this quality... Im not big on surveys, but just an exmaple...

And like Stacks says and its something Ive told women... what does this ring actually mean, since its so damn important? Is it basically a sign of ownership? You have to have it to show that you own the other person? If you are truley confident in the happiness of your relationship, then what does a ring do aside from cost a shitload of money.

I do agree that for the purpose of children, marriage is better for stability... but seeing todays "families' I have little faith in that word anymore. But thats a whole different topic.

[vettewreck]

I use to be a die hard "love, love love, marriage is for me, the one and only, blah blah blah" But as ive gotten older, im not sure. I find myself thinking is it truely possible to have 1.. ONE sexual mate foreverrrrrr?? lol

On the other hand, I have a banging hot asian with big fake tits whos my little porn star in the bedroom and has a professional job and makes bank!! Sooo... im torn. LOLOL

[Knockout_Power]

On the other hand, I have a banging hot asian with big fake tits whos my little porn star in the bedroom and has a professional job and makes bank!! Sooo... im torn. LOLOL

sounds like you found your love... no problems there =)

[SlimmerMe]

Agree with KnockOut.....ladies do put the pressure because they hear it from each other ALL THE TIME!
It is an all consuming topic when females are together: When will the ring come? Wonder how? Hope it looks good and not tacky. Hope he is romantic. Maybe he is saving his money hence the delay. Maybe he is waiting for my birthday or Christmas...and if not by Valentines, well....then the advice from her friends is to get rid of him. And the pressure continues.

Females want the security of a protector and a provider with someone who professes their love to them. So if one or all 3 of these are not met in a certain amount of timeframe especially within 9 months (gestation) and at the most, one year... then it is all over. She will actually become someone else very soon. Become someone the guy cannot stand. She will then start to turn on her man. She will start looking around for someone who does want to commit to her within that timeframe.

So the nudging from her friends is built into the DNA. Women cannot help it. They are actually looking out for each other. Because guess what? All females have seen time and time again "that same uncommitted guy" propose to another gal within the timeframe! They know that guys are certainly capable of it when they are ready, willing and able.

If a female has to ask or hint? She already knows the answer deep in her gut and at that point..it is ALL OVER! Kiss of death!

[D3m3nt3d]

Agree with KnockOut.....ladies do put the pressure because they hear it from each other ALL THE TIME!
It is an all consuming topic when females are together: When will the ring come? Wonder how? Hope it looks good and not tacky. Hope he is romantic. Maybe he is saving his money hence the delay. Maybe he is waiting for my birthday or Christmas...and if not by Valentines, well....then the advice from her friends is to get rid of him. And the pressure continues.

Females want the security of a protector and a provider with someone who professes their love to them. So if one or all 3 of these are not met in a certain amount of timeframe especially within 9 months (gestation) and at the most, one year... then it is all over. She will actually become someone else very soon. Become someone the guy cannot stand. She will then start to turn on her man. She will start looking around for someone who does want to commit to her within that timeframe.

So the nudging from her friends is built into the DNA. Women cannot help it. They are actually looking out for each other. Because guess what? All females have seen time and time again "that same uncommitted guy" propose to another gal within the timeframe! They know that guys are certainly capable of it when they are ready, willing and able.

If a female has to ask or hint? She already knows the answer deep in her gut and at that point..it is ALL OVER! Kiss of death!

I proposed within months because I thought my wife felt the same and boy was that a dumbass decision.

[Knockout_Power]

Agree with KnockOut.....ladies do put the pressure because they hear it from each other ALL THE TIME!
It is an all consuming topic when females are together: When will the ring come? Wonder how? Hope it looks good and not tacky. Hope he is romantic. Maybe he is saving his money hence the delay. Maybe he is waiting for my birthday or Christmas...and if not by Valentines, well....then the advice from her friends is to get rid of him. And the pressure continues.

Females want the security of a protector and a provider with someone who professes their love to them. So if one or all 3 of these are not met in a certain amount of timeframe especially within 9 months (gestation) and at the most, one year... then it is all over. She will actually become someone else very soon. Become someone the guy cannot stand. She will then start to turn on her man. She will start looking around for someone who does want to commit to her within that timeframe.

So the nudging from her friends is built into the DNA. Women cannot help it. They are actually looking out for each other. Because guess what? All females have seen time and time again "that same uncommitted guy" propose to another gal within the timeframe! They know that guys are certainly capable of it when they are ready, willing and able.

If a female has to ask or hint? She already knows the answer deep in her gut and at that point..it is ALL OVER! Kiss of death!

Thank you for posting this SM... I always come across as some kind of insensitive jackass for just saying the obvious when, for the most part, it is fairly true...

Im really glad you gave a womans perspective on this cause its just difficult for us men (we are quite slow) to understand how a woman views their relationship.

[Times Roman]

I would believe all this if marriage statistics didnt show that less than 40% of marriages work out.

Not that I actually like reading, but I accidentally picked up a magazine a while ago and read an article that claimed that their study showed that of over 10 thousand people surveyed, roughly 70% claim to have either cheated or have been cheated on in a relationship...

maybe not relevant to the original topic, but how does this make you believe in any of the morals/ethics/beliefs associated with marriage if statsically, you cant even trust the person you are with. By those numbers, with only 3 out of 10 being faithful people, theres basically a 15% chance of 2 of these people finding someone who has this quality... Im not big on surveys, but just an exmaple...

And like Stacks says and its something Ive told women... what does this ring actually mean, since its so damn important? Is it basically a sign of ownership? You have to have it to show that you own the other person? If you are truley confident in the happiness of your relationship, then what does a ring do aside from cost a shitload of money.

I do agree that for the purpose of children, marriage is better for stability... but seeing todays "families' I have little faith in that word anymore. But thats a whole different topic.

Never said marriages are perfect (mine sure isn't). Just said more stable than just shacking up, especially for kids. Children need stable, long term families. If they can get that when a guy and a gal shack up, fine. But if a guy and a gal are afraid to commit, then what does that say about the stability of the relationship in the first place?

Children that come from non divorce parents are more likely to have a successful marriage themselves, than children from parents that do divorce. How you live your life as a parent is what your children will learn and emulate. If you are a single woman with multiple children with multiple fathers, guess what? Your daughters are far more likely to follow in your footsteps. Do you really think that is a good thing? Women that are in this situation are far more likely to be on welfare also. What does that say about our society?

To a certain extent, we, as parents, are responsible for the moral attitude of the next generation. If you want your children to benefit from long term stable relationships so they can raise their children in a similar fashion, then you better have your house in order, and live likewise. Far too often, when relationships run into a rough patch, people prefer to bail as opposed to doing the hard work successful relationships require. And therein lies the rub. People prefer not to do the hard work, and blame their partner when moods sour. Instead, they adhere to the concepts of the "ME" generation, and if there is work to be done, we bail because it requres effort and isn't fun. And if this is our attitude, then why fool around with marriage in the first place, if the fukkin relationship is doomed to begin with? It takes a fairly strong person to make a lifelong commitment (even if it DOES sometimes fail), and sometimes, if a person doesn't have sufficient confidence in either themselves or their partner, then maybe marriage isn't their thing. But just because an individual or a relationship hasn't risen to that level of confidence, or isn't ready for a commitment, doesn't mean we should bad mouth or slander marriage itself. that is a "sour grapes" mind set, like saying "well, if it might not have worked out, then it wouldn't have been any good to begin with."

That's a defeatest's attitude, and sounds like some one is giving up before they start.

(BTW... I'm not talking about 2nd and 3rd marriages, mostly just first marriages)

Slam away, mates! But be easy on me, my ribs bruise easy! =)

[Times Roman]

I would believe all this if marriage statistics didnt show that less than 40% of marriages work out.

Not that I actually like reading, but I accidentally picked up a magazine a while ago and read an article that claimed that their study showed that of over 10 thousand people surveyed, roughly 70% claim to have either cheated or have been cheated on in a relationship...

maybe not relevant to the original topic, but how does this make you believe in any of the morals/ethics/beliefs associated with marriage if statsically, you cant even trust the person you are with. By those numbers, with only 3 out of 10 being faithful people, theres basically a 15% chance of 2 of these people finding someone who has this quality... Im not big on surveys, but just an exmaple...

And like Stacks says and its something Ive told women... what does this ring actually mean, since its so damn important? Is it basically a sign of ownership? You have to have it to show that you own the other person? If you are truley confident in the happiness of your relationship, then what does a ring do aside from cost a shitload of money.
I do agree that for the purpose of children, marriage is better for stability... but seeing todays "families' I have little faith in that word anymore. But thats a whole different topic.

sorry for the correction, but statistically, if 30% chance faithful for an entire life time, the chances of two random people marrying and both being faithful for an entire lifetime =

.3 X .3 = .09 = 9%, not 15%

but people make mistakes, and part of being human is the ability to forgive. Remember, you too make mistakes, and would you not like to be forgiven for your mistakes when you make them? Marriage was never meant to be perfect, regardless what the church preaches.

About the ring. My woman prefers to wear hers. I do not wear mine. Haven't worn mine in many multiple years. that does not diminish my commitment in any way.

[D3m3nt3d]

Children that come from non divorce parents are more likely to have a successful marriage themselves, than children from parents that do divorce. How you live your life as a parent is what your children will learn and emulate. If you are a single woman with multiple children with multiple fathers, guess what? Your daughters are far more likely to follow in your footsteps. Do you really think that is a good thing?

This is exactly what scares the hell out of me about my youngest daughter. I will copy my response in another marriage thread earlier where Boost suggests to always look at the mother

Yeah...I didn't do this because my wife always said she wanted to NOT be like her mother - where do I stand now? Getting divorced in only 2 yrs. So this is SOLID advice!

Her mother - married and divorced 3 times, 3 kids by 3 fathers, engaged I dunno how many times, drug my wife home to home, man to man

My wife - married and divorced 2 times now (her first marriage was 2 months), 2 kids by 2 dads, 2 other pregancies, drug her son home to home man to man. I was the 4th guy she lived with since her son was born and he was 4 when we got together!

Now since I put her through school, atleast she doesn't have to depend on living with a man now - she can afford her own place. I don't really think she could do that before, the only time she got her own place we started dating in a week and I was helping pay her bills from the start being the nice guy. Never again.

[Twist]

On the other hand, I have a banging hot asian with big fake tits whos my little porn star in the bedroom and has a professional job and makes bank!! Sooo... im torn. LOLOL

I have the EXACT same!! She's perfect! Wait... Where do you live?....

jk hahaha


Reasons to get married:
Stability for children
Medical coverage
Immigration status

Reasons not to get married:
Pressure
Divorce statistics
Costs a lot of money
One sexual partner forever (assuming rules are followed)

[Times Roman]

This is exactly what scares the hell out of me about my youngest daughter. I will copy my response in another marriage thread earlier where Boost suggests to always look at the mother

Thanks mate! In many ways, I am a traditional family guy, and it is nice to know that there are others that feel the same way I do in certain areas. Far too often, with all our tolerence for gays, and non traditional family groupings, it is marriage that is getting the black eye, and it is marriage that people are becoming less tolerent with.

Let me tell you, i voted for the gay marriage proposal in california, but that shouldn't diminish marriage in any way. It seems peculiar to me that marriage seems to be falling out of favor.

Simple question. Everything else being exactly the same, if you were a younger child, wouldn't you prefer your parents to be committed in a long term relationship, as opposed to shacking up?

I know how I would answer that.

[Knockout_Power]

Slam away, mates! But be easy on me, my ribs bruise easy! =)

nasty or rude responses have no place in here and Im not sure why some choose to start insulting others opinions so you will never hear anythig that critical from me. Hopefully everyone is an adult on here and we should respect each others opinions as we hope others will do for ours.

I dont have a so called "sour grapes" outlook on the whole marriage thing. I just dont believe in putting a ring on to prove it. Not having a ring does not say you are not commited to each other IMO... and no, nothing is perfect, and no one is perfect, so marriage will never be.

I do have a slightly bitter outlook to relationships as I watched my mom get cheated on by 2 men who put rings on here finger.

...this does not mean I would never give a relationship the chance to become something lifelong, it just means I know what I expect from it and what the possible outcomes can be rather than going into one like a fairtale and hoping everything is white picket fences.

Nothing moved me more than seeing my grandparents take their 50th wedding vows... my grandpa who was well along into his terminal cancer still made sure to hobble his way up to the alter again to tell my grandma he loved her more than the day they got married.

Im not seeing a whole lot of this happening now adays...

[D3m3nt3d]

Simple question. Everything else being exactly the same, if you were a younger child, wouldn't you prefer your parents to be committed in a long term relationship, as opposed to shacking up?

Absolutely. I think you should lead by example. I come from a very traditional family. My parents have been married 46 years, never been drunk etc...and though I have definitely been drunk, most of their morals have passed down to me. I do believe the statistics of marriage are scary, I was always afraid of marriage for that very reason, not because of the commitment. But when I made my commitment, I stuck by it. My wife did some very shady shit, but in the end I gave her the choice of working it out and she chose not to. So, I never walked away from my vows or my beliefs, but I can't force her to stay either. Everyone makes mistakes, feelings change at times - but I have always thought you married for love, you stay because of the commitment. There are some exceptions of course.

I just know that when our child gets old enough to understand, I can let her know that her father did everything he could to keep his family together, and that's enough for me.

[D3m3nt3d]

Im not seeing a whole lot of this happening now adays...

And you won't. Because todays society of promiscuity, parties, bars, clubs etc. There just wasn't that many opportunities and temptation back then, not like todays world. It's a corrupt fvcking place.

[Knockout_Power]

I just know that when our child gets old enough to understand, I can let her know that her father did everything he could to keep his family together, and that's enough for me.

this must be tough, but any intelligent person knows the difference between right and wrong and whats proper. Its what we choice to accept...

this is completely off on a tangent, but I do not agree, to a certain extent, that children grow up to become what they saw in their parents... kids choose to follow what is most convenient. Their peers make these choices for them most of the time. Look how many good families have brat kids...

I can use myself as an example... my dad did drugs, smoked, gambled, drank (alcoholic levels, not socially), cheated on my mom and was a prety violent man outside the house
my step dad was a lot younger, but still smoked, partied, cheated on my mom and was a little over agressive in physically punishing us....

I knew this was not "proper" behavior, this was not the "right" way to raise children and live your life... so the logical solution is to not do these things.

Phycologists have ruined the upbringing up children because they have made excuses time and time again for the developmental problems associated with todays youth.

-he/she does bad in school.... oh they have A.D.D, here's some medication
-my daughter is upset she got dumped... oh she must have depression issues, here's medication
-my son wont talk to me cause I didnt buy him an escalade when he turned 16... you're a bad parent cause so and so's dad lets him drive their escalade
-my son got into a fight at school today... oh, he's probably seeing some kind of aggression at home

Fvck this shit, we know whats right and wrong... even our shitty school system teaches at least that much. And if you are not smart enough to pick it up from there then it becomes really obvious what is allowed and not allowed when it crosses lines with the judicial system

End rant, this stuff bugs me

[ghettoboyd]

And you won't. Because todays society of promiscuity, parties, bars, clubs etc. There just wasn't that many opportunities and temptation back then, not like todays world. It's a corrupt fvcking place.

thats the exact reason i dont ever put myself in situations where there will be temptation i.e. going out to bars with frends or even parties without my wife cus its too easy to **** up....i truely believe i will be one of those statistics of being married to the same woman forever because we both want that and lets face it thats the only way a marage works is if both partys want it to work and work together to make it succesfull...well that and increadible olympic porn style sex...

[D3m3nt3d]

thats the exact reason i dont ever put myself in situations where there will be temptation i.e. going out to bars with frends or even parties without my wife cus its too easy to **** up....i truely believe i will be one of those statistics of being married to the same woman forever because we both want that and lets face it thats the only way a marage works is if both partys want it to work and work together to make it succesfull...well that and increadible olympic porn style sex...

Shit me and my wife went to bars and clubs and seemed to get a long better most of the time, but it did cause some issues. We threw a lot of parties and we were cool then, and shit her ex boyfriend crashed out our house! Now she is seeing him again kinda makes ya wonder what happened when I passed out huh?

But yeah, that's temptation and I am the one who was cool with it because we were friends, worked together and all that jazz. So I guess I am almost as much to blame for that. Lesson learned

[D3m3nt3d]

this must be tough, but any intelligent person knows the difference between right and wrong and whats proper. Its what we choice to accept...

this is completely off on a tangent, but I do not agree, to a certain extent, that children grow up to become what they saw in their parents... kids choose to follow what is most convenient. Their peers make these choices for them most of the time. Look how many good families have brat kids...

I can use myself as an example... my dad did drugs, smoked, gambled, drank (alcoholic levels, not socially), cheated on my mom and was a prety violent man outside the house
my step dad was a lot younger, but still smoked, partied, cheated on my mom and was a little over agressive in physically punishing us....

I knew this was not "proper" behavior, this was not the "right" way to raise children and live your life... so the logical solution is to not do these things.

Phycologists have ruined the upbringing up children because they have made excuses time and time again for the developmental problems associated with todays youth.

-he/she does bad in school.... oh they have A.D.D, here's some medication
-my daughter is upset she got dumped... oh she must have depression issues, here's medication
-my son wont talk to me cause I didnt buy him an escalade when he turned 16... you're a bad parent cause so and so's dad lets him drive their escalade
-my son got into a fight at school today... oh, he's probably seeing some kind of aggression at home

Fvck this shit, we know whats right and wrong... even our shitty school system teaches at least that much. And if you are not smart enough to pick it up from there then it becomes really obvious what is allowed and not allowed when it crosses lines with the judicial system

End rant, this stuff bugs me

I do believe MOST people are a product of their environment, but certainly not ALL. It's easier to follow the path you've been brought up on, but some people are strong enough to overcome it. It's like they say, it either makes you, or breaks you.

[Knockout_Power]

thats the exact reason i dont ever put myself in situations where there will be temptation i.e. going out to bars with frends or even parties without my wife cus its too easy to **** up....i truely believe i will be one of those statistics of being married to the same woman forever because we both want that and lets face it thats the only way a marage works is if both partys want it to work and work together to make it succesfull...well that and increadible olympic porn style sex...

GB, I always think back to you when I get into this discussion with friends.... this is exactly my point, we have the choice whether to do something we know is wrong... and better yet, back it up one step and even make the effort to not put ourselves in the situation to get into trouble is the best choice.

[Times Roman]

this must be tough, but any intelligent person knows the difference between right and wrong and whats proper. Its what we choice to accept...

this is completely off on a tangent, but I do not agree, to a certain extent, that children grow up to become what they saw in their parents... kids choose to follow what is most convenient. Their peers make these choices for them most of the time. Look how many good families have brat kids...

I can use myself as an example... my dad did drugs, smoked, gambled, drank (alcoholic levels, not socially), cheated on my mom and was a prety violent man outside the house
my step dad was a lot younger, but still smoked, partied, cheated on my mom and was a little over agressive in physically punishing us....

I knew this was not "proper" behavior, this was not the "right" way to raise children and live your life... so the logical solution is to not do these things.

Phycologists have ruined the upbringing up children because they have made excuses time and time again for the developmental problems associated with todays youth.

-he/she does bad in school.... oh they have A.D.D, here's some medication
-my daughter is upset she got dumped... oh she must have depression issues, here's medication
-my son wont talk to me cause I didnt buy him an escalade when he turned 16... you're a bad parent cause so and so's dad lets him drive their escalade
-my son got into a fight at school today... oh, he's probably seeing some kind of aggression at home

Fvck this shit, we know whats right and wrong... even our shitty school system teaches at least that much. And if you are not smart enough to pick it up from there then it becomes really obvious what is allowed and not allowed when it crosses lines with the judicial system

End rant, this stuff bugs me

as it should. quite often, people in bad relationships usually grew up in households that had bad relationships. A really good way to break this cycle, and yes, quite often it becomes a cycle, but a really good way of breaking the cycle is to work through your relationship, and make it work, so that your children can see how it's done, how it can be successful, and will do the same for themselves. Of course, there will always be exceptions, and of course you cannot directly control your spouse. It is important to note that the things you do and say to your children, will become the basis for the voice of their conscious later in life. To be more precise, the voice of your conscious IS the voice of your parents. Both of them.

I will go so far as to say that once you take away all the extreme examples, for children, a family where both their biological parents are together, they are better off than if they lived with just one parent. And marriage is the backbone and foundation for that to happen.

[Twist]

Reasons to get married:
Stability for children
Medical coverage
Immigration status

Reasons not to get married:
Pressure
Divorce statistics
Costs a lot of money
One sexual partner forever (assuming rules are followed)

So is this all we got fellas?

[terraj]

On the other hand, I have a banging hot asian with big fake tits whos my little porn star in the bedroom and has a professional job and makes bank!! Sooo... im torn. LOLOL

Lol... we got some shit in common. Apart from my earlier sappy comments regarding my wife, she is a very pretty asian, also works in investment banking and comes from money......however no fake tits, damn-it.

[SlimmerMe]

DO NOT KILL THE MESSENGER PLEASE.....FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
okay.. I heard someone once say this: Margaret Mead concluded that Marriage was created by MEN. It was HIS idea. Mead's reason being: that since males have limited amounts of times they can physically have sex per day and females are physically capable of having infinite amounts of sex per day, that the caveman then turned to the female and drug her by the hair and pulled her into the cave to guarantee he would have someone to have sex with in order to procreate...
as well as he did not want the female to be able to just go around from man to man and have all the sex she wanted thus bringing and spreading diseases back into the cave. So what did he do? He pinned her down!

Now jumping to present time: with the advent of the 60's movement with free love and birth control, women's lib, then title 9 and sperm banks... as well as marriage no longer being sacrosanct with rampant divorce rates...men no longer have the previous deep urge to pin anymore....however.... females have not lost their profound need to be guaranteed somebody is going to bring home the bacon for their children since somebody's got to provide so the best hope for this is to get the ring.

ps: based on Mead's theory, females actually do the picking which explains the manipulation.