Child on the way. I need serious advice....

[RyanRoss]

I've been absent from the board for awhile because my entire life is a mess. The girl I've been with for years is pregnant. They changed her over to a new birth control that apparently didn't do a damn thing to her.........

This couldn't have come at a worse time. I've almost two years in school left, she has one, and I'm wrapped up in this court case until December....I managed to snag a part time job with 30 hours a week at UPS but it pays minimum wage which is FINE if you're only supporting yourself and in school! I am losing it here guys.....I'm just one step away from mentally breaking down. I really don't know what to do. We're both Catholic so abortion is totally out for her....that's not going to happen. No way.....

I need to get a dependable full time job and start preparing, but I'm going to have a fresh misdemeanor possession charge on my record. There's no way in hell I could support a family making $8.00 something an hour....I'm in such a fluster here...

[warchild]

man what a year you are having...sorry i got nothing

[CHUCKYthentic]

man the hits keep coming for you dont they?

hey man keep your chin up. you sound like a smart guy with goals and a good head on your shoulders. you re doing the right thing going to school. i believe most things happen for a reason and a child on the way is something that has been chosen for you, life is a beautiful thing. no matter how hard it is going to be from this point on up until u see your child born, bro it will be a life changing experience, a whole new outlook. that is not a bad thing at all man, hopefully it will be positive for u and you can find the guidance and help u need from here on out

make sure u prepare bro and take 1 day at a time, that is really all u can do at this point. keep lookin for jobs if need be, do everything you can within your ability. hopefully u can stay in school and figure all this out

i think i recall u talking about financial aid awhile back. well given that you being in school as well as your girl, and with a child on the way you will get help from the government and hopefully the school. i know its like that around where i live anyway

werent u talking about a job offer of a lifetime a few weeks ago? i think i recall u sayin somethin along those lines

keep your head up, you NEED to be the strong one here and let it be seen that you are a man and u can handle this. some minor things in your life may need to be on hold, ie friends, training...

keep moving forward man, stay in school, keep lookin for better paying jobs if u can/need to and just start preparing to the best of your ability

i wish u the best bro

[NC600cbr]

The BEST advice is no matter what don't let school fall off.

A COLLEGE DEGREE will be the most useful thing you can do.

My senior year I worked 40-45 hours a week with a full course load (15hours and 18 hours each semester). So it IS doable. Grocery store jobs might be a decent place to start. pay is usually pretty good, regular raises, and they have flexible hours so you could work evenings with day classes or the other way around.

Also summer classes might be a good idea to check out as well for you in between the two. They are shorter, quicker, and you could knock out a full semester in a couple months.

[RyanRoss]

man the hits keep coming for you dont they?

hey man keep your chin up. you sound like a smart guy with goals and a good head on your shoulders. you re doing the right thing going to school. i believe most things happen for a reason and a child on the way is something that has been chosen for you, life is a beautiful thing. no matter how hard it is going to be from this point on up until u see your child born, bro it will be a life changing experience, a whole new outlook. that is not a bad thing at all man, hopefully it will be positive for u and you can find the guidance and help u need from here on out

make sure u prepare bro and take 1 day at a time, that is really all u can do at this point. keep lookin for jobs if need be, do everything you can within your ability. hopefully u can stay in school and figure all this out

i think i recall u talking about financial aid awhile back. well given that you being in school as well as your girl, and with a child on the way you will get help from the government and hopefully the school. i know its like that around where i live anyway

werent u talking about a job offer of a lifetime a few weeks ago? i think i recall u sayin somethin along those lines

keep your head up, you NEED to be the strong one here and let it be seen that you are a man and u can handle this. some minor things in your life may need to be on hold, ie friends, training...

keep moving forward man, stay in school, keep lookin for better paying jobs if u can/need to and just start preparing to the best of your ability

i wish u the best bro

I believe everything happens for a reason too mate. Before this girl and I were together, I was with another for a long time and she never got pregnant. Woman turned into a total bitch too......This girls the sweetest thing ever; best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm very excited, but I'm so stressed out because I am financially NOT PREPARED for this at all and neither is she; that's what I'm freaking out about. Training has been on hold going on month 4 now because of this case, and now because of the news I have a child on the way.

The job situation.......that was the biggest burn ever. I was there for a week hired on a contingency, and then out of the blue on Monday starting my second week they needed something in writing showing this was going to be dropped to a misdemeanor. The plea agreement hasn't been drawn up formally yet so I couldn't provide that, and they let me go. Really sucks huh? Yeah.....a hell of a year man. I felt relief when I got this part time job, and then took two steps back when I heard she's got a bun in the oven. I've printed out a hundred resume's, and I'm going to give them all out on Monday next week.....everywhere. I'm praying to GOD that I get something practical...

[elpropiotorvic]

Dont drop out of school.... Hang in there with ur chin up high u haveto be focused in your career ... Ur girl is not going to die and ur kid will not be starved... Help will come... U just have to ask for it... Government ppl whoever stranger somebody will trust me ...

No harm is done ur just a little tighter and that's it

[PC650]

itll brighten up for you soon bro. everyone here has had sh*t happen to them all at once. keep your head up!!

[stack_it]

I heard a quote the other day that may help you keep your head up.

It'll all be ok in the end. If it's not ok than it's not the end.

Remember hard times only make it easier for good times to come.

[CHUCKYthentic]

wow so that explains the job thing

i hear u on not being financially prepared. that is a huge thing to prepare for you are right, i have friends and family that have been on both ends, intentionally having a child and not intentional

one step at a time man. gotta prepare from this point on. some good happenings have to be on the horizon for u soon, they have to!

head up, be strong

[CHUCKYthentic]

I heard a quote the other day that may help you keep your head up.

It'll all be ok in the end. If it's not ok than it's not the end.

Remember hard times only make it easier for good times to come.

i like that quote

[RyanRoss]

wow so that explains the job thing

i hear u on not being financially prepared. that is a huge thing to prepare for you are right, i have friends and family that have been on both ends, intentionally having a child and not intentional

one step at a time man. gotta prepare from this point on. some good happenings have to be on the horizon for u soon, they have to!

head up, be strong

I had a good interview today as a manager in training. On salary I'd make 30k a year, and the training is 18 months...After that I'd be relocated, and make 52k a year after taxes.....But the guy had 25 other applicants to interview so, I'm not counting on it lol.

I think the best bet for me right now would be to work as many hours as I can at this crappy paying part time job and save EVERY BIT of it back. I've got an 8 month time frame before the little one is here......Surely to God within 8 months I can find something full-time with benefits and dependable. The most awkward thing about this situation (I know this is going to sound strange given I've been with her a couple years) is that I have not yet met her parents! The reason being is that her father works out of the country, and her mother works 12 hours away from us and is rarely home.... I've met her oldest brother, and older sister though and they seem to like me...It's just going to be awkward as hell. "Mom...Dad...this is the man I've been seeing...and I'm pregnant" uuuuggggghhhhhhh.

[Vitruvian-Man]

It's called an abortion. Get one.

Take a loan out for the bank if necessary.

Cost of a raising a child (without a degree / university education) vs. Cost of an abortion.

[RyanRoss]

It's called an abortion. Get one.

Take a loan out for the bank if necessary.

Cost of a raising a child (without a degree / university education) vs. Cost of an abortion.

She won't do it

[Mooseman33]

dont do thatshit man, butch up and make this happen.
tighten ur belt, finish school while working..you have ur whole life to catch up on sleep and fun, now its time to rock and roll.. school/work/repeat..

remember man, tough times come and go, tough people always remain...

congratulations man, i know ur freaking but it will all work out if u do what u have to do...

and RELAX

[JinNtonic]

The birth of your kid will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. It makes things WAY harder, and WAY better at the same time.

This is not as big of a deal as you are thinking it is. Get through school first, then the rest will be cake.

[Want_2_Get_BIG]

I've been absent from the board for awhile because my entire life is a mess. The girl I've been with for years is pregnant. They changed her over to a new birth control that apparently didn't do a damn thing to her.........

This couldn't have come at a worse time. I've almost two years in school left, she has one, and I'm wrapped up in this court case until December....I managed to snag a part time job with 30 hours a week at UPS but it pays minimum wage which is FINE if you're only supporting yourself and in school! I am losing it here guys.....I'm just one step away from mentally breaking down. I really don't know what to do. We're both Catholic so abortion is totally out for her....that's not going to happen. No way.....

I need to get a dependable full time job and start preparing, but I'm going to have a fresh misdemeanor possession charge on my record. There's no way in hell I could support a family making $8.00 something an hour....I'm in such a fluster here...

Well, I was once in the same situation exept with a felony. 9 times out of 10 noone is ever ready for a baby. There is no point n trippin now. My opinion,you may just have to put school on hold for a bit and find another job. this is what i had to do. i am not gonna lie its tough, but when the time comes you make room and find a way to support your family. Goodluck to you bro. You just have to do what you have to do.

[NC600cbr]

Get school finished at all costs. I can't stress how important this is. You have 8 months to knock out as much as possible anyways before the lil fella or gal is even here. Buckle down - sit down with a guidance counselor ASAP - explain the situation and tell them you need to graduate as soon as humanly possible.

Winter Session / Summer Session / Heavy work loads over the next year, you could be done quickly.

A year or two of a little harder work to get that degree will PAY OFF more than I can convey here. A College Degree will open so many doors for you. FINISH SCHOOL.

[RyanRoss]

I greatly appreciate all of the support I'm getting here, really it means alot...I figure what I'm going to do is get as much school done as possible until the little one gets here, and then continue working full time, being a father full time, and going to school part time. She's a year away from her degree. We could be off much worse and be freshman in college or something. We're just going to have to ride this out.....Step one is FIND A GOOD JOB.

I'm passing out 100 resumes tomorrow. If I have a 5% chance to nail a good job, I should get 5 interviews lol. I'm hoping for the best....I'll keep you guys posted. This is such a crazy feeling

[thegodfather]

Bro if you need benefits.. Goto a site called E Health Insurance, apply for a standalone policy for yourself. I got quoted at $160 a month for comprehensive coverage and reasonable co-pays. That way your health insurance is not tied to your employment and you can have a more flexible job. You can also loan out the extra $160 a month from student loans to cover it while your in school. You are having one hell of a year...

[lovbyts]

How far along is she? I take you you/she does not believe in abortion? Nothing like a kid to either straighten out your life or screw it up depending on how you look at it or deal with it.

Welcome to life. May I give you some advice. STOP saying/asking can it get any worse. Yes it can and it will continue to get even more complicated if you dont stop asking. LOL

Really this is one I figured out when I was about 8 and my parents dragging me to church 3x a week. I could not understand why the adults didn't see/understand it and when I spoke up they all looked at me in amazement like the kid on the commercial about the flat bottom Taco.

It seams everyone in church always prays for patience but then complains all the time because all the sh*t/crap they are constantly going through. I said then stop paying for it to happen. They said I/we don't. I said yes you do, I hear you all the time. You ask for patience. The only way to learn is by experiencing something so you are in fact asking God to give you hardship in your life so you can learn to deal with it.

OMG you should have seen their faces. hahahahaha
People in church are so stupid...

[energizer bunny]

i agree with the majority here.....stay in school and do the best you can.........good luck

[RyanRoss]

Okay a couple words of good news......

I got so panicked I didn't clarify. She has taken three tests.....The first two came back positive. Then a week later (today) she took one and it came back negative......wtf? This may be a chemical pregnancy.....she has had one once before....She goes into the doctor at 8 tomorrow, and we find out..I'm nervous.

More good news: I landed a job as a laborer making barrels......The interview was hilarious. The guy that started this company is in his 60's now. I went in to talk to him and he looked at my resume....."You're big.....but I don't think you can handle this. You mainly have retail and office work." I told him I've done alot of temp work with labor.

He goes ok...well.....I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work. I said give me a chance, I'll prove you wrong...He looked at me firmly and said, "It's 50+ hour weeks......overtime." I explained to him my situation, and he said try finding something else....

At this point I got up and almost walked out the door, but instead turned around and said " Arthur, just show me where the damn barrels are..." He stared at me a few seconds, and took me out to the warehouse and showed me. "Those barrels are 45 lbs each. You have to stack them 3 high.....think you can do that?" I did......"Well.....you also have to be able to throw them about 5 feet." I grabbed a barrel, and threw it about 30 feet....it hit the floor, really loud....I honestly didn't mean to throw it that far. "GODDDD DAMMIT!!! You arrogant son of a ......get in my office NOW!!!"

I looked at him and my face was bright freakin red...And he looked at me for a few seconds and busted out laughing. "I haven't yelled like that in 20 years.....it feels good" and he offered me the job. Just like that.....Unreal huh? lol

[RyanRoss]

Bro if you need benefits.. Goto a site called E Health Insurance, apply for a standalone policy for yourself. I got quoted at $160 a month for comprehensive coverage and reasonable co-pays. That way your health insurance is not tied to your employment and you can have a more flexible job. You can also loan out the extra $160 a month from student loans to cover it while your in school. You are having one hell of a year...

I appreciate that alot man!! I will definitely go there, because I don't get insurance for six months. The pay for this job starts out at $10.....not alot of money, it's not..After taxes I'm looking at $450-500 a week. I figure its enough to have us a rented apartment, pay for baby supplies and food, and pay for our food, and have a little left.....Just enough.

How far along is she? I take you you/she does not believe in abortion? Nothing like a kid to either straighten out your life or screw it up depending on how you look at it or deal with it.

We're both Catholic, and honestly it doesn't bother me because of the messed up world we live in...and I know this sounds crazy, but, I honestly couldn't go through with it. I'd live day in and day out wondering what my kid would have been doing had I not gone through that, you know? Adoption was an idea I had...but she basically said, 'If this baby coming out of my body.....I want to keep it...no matter what, we'll do whatever it takes..."

Welcome to life. May I give you some advice. STOP saying/asking can it get any worse. Yes it can and it will continue to get even more complicated if you dont stop asking. LOL

Brother I am finding that out, that's for DAMN SURE!!! LOL

i agree with the majority here.....stay in school and do the best you can.........good luck

The way I look at it boss....I'm going to work 50 hour weeks, be a full time dad, and do my homework and study on the weekend.....IT CAN BE DONE!!!!

[RANA]

I believe everything happens for a reason too mate. Before this girl and I were together, I was with another for a long time and she never got pregnant. Woman turned into a total bitch too......This girls the sweetest thing ever; best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm very excited, but I'm so stressed out because I am financially NOT PREPARED for this at all and neither is she; that's what I'm freaking out about. Training has been on hold going on month 4 now because of this case, and now because of the news I have a child on the way.

The job situation.......that was the biggest burn ever. I was there for a week hired on a contingency, and then out of the blue on Monday starting my second week they needed something in writing showing this was going to be dropped to a misdemeanor. The plea agreement hasn't been drawn up formally yet so I couldn't provide that, and they let me go. Really sucks huh? Yeah.....a hell of a year man. I felt relief when I got this part time job, and then took two steps back when I heard she's got a bun in the oven. I've printed out a hundred resume's, and I'm going to give them all out on Monday next week.....everywhere. I'm praying to GOD that I get something practical...

God has a plan for you, you might not know what it is but you will understand it in the near future. After he/she is born things will come into prospective. Don't get an abortion just because it's inconvenant at this time, that is the weak way out. If you're willing to play you must be willing to pay!

[dangerous dan]

mate....$8.00 an hour doesnt mean shit, do you need money to love someone??? nope.

[lovbyts]

mate....$8.00 an hour doesnt mean shit, do you need money to love someone??? nope.

LOL that all sounds great but MOST marital problems are over money eventually so dont say money doesnt matter. I think Im one of the few who really never gets upset about money. Ive been broke, in debt, not knowing how/where the next house payment was coming from or money for food. Still it never bothered me and I didnt worry about it.

That is not most people though. Most people also say they dont worry about it but they do. You cant keep a roof over your head and feed your family on love alone. Get the education and the job, then enjoy life.

OK your catholic but that does not mean you have to make babies. DAMN man wear a condom... Stop taking chances. This could really screw up your life at this point or at least make it a LOT more complicated. Learn something from this experience and keep it wrapped.

NEVER trust the pill, NEVER... Also women many many many times will tell you they are one it and even if they are they are women. One day their hormones (not the brain) tells them they want a baby. They stop taking the pill and your a father. It happens a LOT more than you know and most of the time the woman will blame it on the pill not working.

Condoms are your friend...

$450 a week????? Dude I seriously hope she is not pregnant and you can do better than that. I make $8.00 hr back in 1981 working at Taco Time as a manager. I make $500 a day now and it's still not enough. LOL Really, I cant believe you cant find a less labor intensive job that pays more. Hell back 20 years ago I was a grunt doing drywall making $20 hr.... You need to look more.

Kids are expensive and Im talking about the day in day out not even college. I spent over $300 on my daughter this week for some clothes and project materials for school. I also spent probably 20 hrs this week running her around places to friends, doctors apts and other things.

It's not just about being able to financially support the kid but you need to be a father and be there for them even when they dont want you to be. LOL

[RuhlFreak55]

It's called an abortion. Get one.

Take a loan out for the bank if necessary.

Cost of a raising a child (without a degree / university education) vs. Cost of an abortion.

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you sir

[RuhlFreak55]

She won't do it

should have never touched that shit with your cock then....birth control isn't 100%

[RuhlFreak55]

God has a plan for you, you might not know what it is but you will understand it in the near future. After he/she is born things will come into prospective. Don't get an abortion just because it's inconvenant at this time, that is the weak way out. If you're willing to play you must be willing to pay!

no....it's called INTELLIGENCE

[RuhlFreak55]

How far along is she? I take you you/she does not believe in abortion? Nothing like a kid to either straighten out your life or screw it up depending on how you look at it or deal with it.

Welcome to life. May I give you some advice. STOP saying/asking can it get any worse. Yes it can and it will continue to get even more complicated if you dont stop asking. LOL

Really this is one I figured out when I was about 8 and my parents dragging me to church 3x a week. I could not understand why the adults didn't see/understand it and when I spoke up they all looked at me in amazement like the kid on the commercial about the flat bottom Taco.

It seams everyone in church always prays for patience but then complains all the time because all the sh*t/crap they are constantly going through. I said then stop paying for it to happen. They said I/we don't. I said yes you do, I hear you all the time. You ask for patience. The only way to learn is by experiencing something so you are in fact asking God to give you hardship in your life so you can learn to deal with it.

OMG you should have seen their faces. hahahahaha
People in church are so stupid...

that is the understatement of the century

[RANA]

no....it's called INTELLIGENCE

Far from it, intelligence is not getting pregnant and not finding an easy way out!

[RuhlFreak55]

Far from it, intelligence is not getting pregnant and not finding an easy way out!

well shit does happen....double coverage would have been better...but there's always a chance...and if you can't afford it....don't bring a child into the world you can't ****ing afford

[RANA]

well shit does happen....double coverage would have been better...but there's always a chance...and if you can't afford it....don't bring a child into the world you can't ****ing afford

That means you will never ever be able to bring one into this world unless you're rich. We all make sacrifices in life you just have to choose whats more important. I used to know woman that had numerous abortions because they just loved to ****. With my first child I was going full time to school and working 60-80 hours per week, it sucked but it paid off...

[RuhlFreak55]

That means you will never ever be able to bring one into this world unless you're rich. We all make sacrifices in life you just have to choose whats more important. I used to know woman that had numerous abortions because they just loved to ****. With my first child I was going full time to school and working 60-80 hours per week, it sucked but it paid off...

exactly....i know i sure as hell wont.

[RuhlFreak55]

actually that's wrong though...you don't need to be rich...but you need to have enough disposable income to be able to pay for all child needs...which is ALOT

[RyanRoss]

So get this.....

Two tests came back positive, then one negative a few days later....She went to the doc, had the ultrasound done.....they saw NOTHING. Took two tests with them, and nothing.....And now she's feeling better. They said she had the flu and alot of stress can cause an irregular period (hers was only a day). I'm in the clear.....false alarm.

The two false positives were because the damn tests were old!!! She didn't check the date

[spywizard]

congrats,,, my advise would have been.. good for you and congrats.. do not marry her.. she would qualify for free college and free daycare..

go figure..

[HustlerBrah]

prob wont' help much but it might ?

“I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing.
Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that.
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.” - Tupac

[RuhlFreak55]

prob wont' help much but it might ?

“I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing.
Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that.
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.” - Tupac

that sounds like a way to get dead...

[HustlerBrah]

that sounds like a way to get dead...

ruined the moment -_-