chicks and bodyfat and beginner cycles..

[wolffish]

so i'm thinkin that i might be good to try a cycle, i've got my fitness back, i've dropped a few kgs, i pretty much have the same strength i used to have, without any gains (if anyone remembers me i had a bak injury n didn't train at all for quite awhile and was just getting back into it once i was back to 'normal' for me).

thinking of trying anavar or winstrol, suspect i might be prone to side effects cause i've had some other problems with (dr's) meds previously and being super sensitive.. but wont know til i try.

so stats are:

29yo
160cm
50kgs
bf?! i am guessing the 4kgs i lost was mostly fat as i havn't lost much strength so i could be around 10% or maybe more, gotta be under 15% tho.. will ask a vet to estimate as i'm not posting a pic here, sorry.
no cycling experience
training 4 years solid excluding recent time off, cardio, body weight, free weights, kickboxing, misc stuff bout 8hrs moderate intensity a week.. not a lifter

goal: build muscle without regaining my bodtfat or losing any more (my tits have shrunk enough!) would be happy with 4-5kgs..

my challenge: i think i'm too scared to eat enough to actually achieve that goal cause i worked so hard to drop the fat.

feedback and suggestions please??