Everyone has them, and yes, no gym would be the same without them either. We stand back between sets watching the crazy shit they come up with, the poor form, and the shit woofing of how they were HUGE back in the day....of course this is all before you had weights, they just lifted rocks and dinosaurs and shit....well on to the topic at hand.
There is this one fuck who comes in when the crowd is rocking, and I found out he is a doctor....(scary as Hell). Soon as he walks in the door,he just stands there watching for 20 minutes or so, never moves. Then he drops his gym bag, takes off his pants, and out comes the Spandex. Now, before everyone goes nuts, I love spandex on chicks that have a great body, for those who don't, wear a damn shower curtain or something.
This idiot then takes off his shirt, down to that Chia-pet looking chest. Needless to say, because of the hair, we call him " The Troll ".....Shoes and socks are next, barefoot, and legs that look like hockey sticks with hair. Everything is now scattered just inside the door....pants, shirt, smelly socks and shoes....now we all get to see a 80 pound overweight Pro at work....
Same routine, day after day, never changes, never alters at all....
Dumbbell curls with 5lb. weights, 100 plus reps as fast as you can, now start grunting and screaming at rep 50....I'm sure you can get a visual now....and mind you, don't try and grab those 5lb. weights, they will be with him the entire workout....
Dumbbell presses, yup, you guessed it....same as curls, but now we have an added feature boys and girls....Yes, my children, it gets better. You see, starting with the second excercise of 12, the SWEAT begins....not that small sheen on the brow shit...I'm talking yellow stained, sticky, funky smelling sweat from one strange, and ugly fuck-nut. And after each set, he just stands there grinning like a mule eat'n briars like he's done something.......Now, a few members cut the workout short, they seem to know when a professional is at work, he needs more room.....and he gets plenty.
Well, to cut a long story short....Ole Ranger hasn't been known for patience on certain things, gym manners being top of the list....In my travels, I have strived to take young Iron Brothers and Sisters under my wing and enlighten them on my personal thoughts....and hence my latest woes begin tonight....
A couple of the younger Iron Brothers who think I am some kind of God, and I can't for the life of me figure out why, heh heh heh, decided to help me in my plan to foil " The Troll "!!
His pattern was simple, and he never strayed from it...not once. We watched, we waited...the anticipation building. This was our night, we would purge the Iron Humanity of this spreading sickness....<or so I told the Young Brothers>
There was the cue..." The Troll " began to put his clothes on over top of his nasty, sweaty ass....TIME TO MOVE!!!!
Our recon was perfect, the ambush was set....we waited. Here he came out the building to his Lexus, the cold bushes itching our noses, but we endured....he was singing " Hello Dolly " as to mock us.....I gave the signal and the action began....
Iron Brother number 1 runs up, ski mask hiding his face, a 5 gallon bucket full of cold water and industrial strength cleaner hits " The Troll " full body. Perfect timing, the sickness is dazed, confused......
As he begins to utter profanity, Iron Brother number 2 and 3 move into action....we were all dressed in black, full-faced ski masks.....Another 5 gallon bucket, but this time, ice cold water....sort of a rinse cycle I would guess....Iron Brother number three dashes by and hits his fading hairline, and pudgy, pock-marked face with liquid wax.....Why wax you ask.....couldn't hurt now could it!!!
And last but not least, yours truly comes from the blind side....I must admit, I am a true planner. " The Troll " then recieves the final touches....A full 5 gallon bucket full of LIME.....Why lime?? To ensure the stench never returns.....keeps dead bodies from stinking, outa work on his nasty ass as well......
We dash across the grass, hit a used car lot....gone.
Entire operation is a success, no casulties, no injuries, no " Troll " .....Well, that was my night, how was yours.....
Anyone else have these retards in their gym???
Retards....Hmmmmmmmmmm....Now there's another story, but we'll save that one for another time my Brutha's and Sista's....
Peace
Ranger
Reply With Quote
