
Originally Posted by
BBJT200
this could be a million different causes....but if I were to take a blind stab in the dark i'd say your prolactin levels are high, causing the ED/mental numbness.
from personal experience, high prolactin (deca, tren, npp, etc can cause this) will make you feel just like that - not wanting to live, but not necessarily wanting to kill yourself.
it could also be due to malnutrition. you said you drastically changed your diet, perhaps you are deficient in certain nutrients. Lack of vitamin D (or a deficiency) will cause high SHBG and many other issues, and is part of the cause behind winter depression--less sunlight which results in less vitamin D absorption from being outside.
Either way, you're gonna need to go see a doctor and get bloodwork to make any progress on this. Good luck!