Hi,

I'm going to try and put as much info down here as I want to get the best advice I can on my current situation.

I'm a 25 year old male from the UK. About 6 years ago I did a course that I will never forget, because i've never fully recovered from it. It was a long course (between 10-12 weeks), consisting of many different compounds, test enanthate, t-3, tren ace, anavar and clen. I was young and stupid and after reading about all these compounds I thought they would transform me. This was also my 3rd course after 2 earlier courses when I was 18.

Basically, I introduced my body to steroids far too early, but it was only after the 3rd course that I had problems. For about 3 months I lived through hell. The symptoms of no testosterone are awful, when I say no I mean I must have been close to 0. I did mount a recovery but for the last 6 years I've never felt the same.

I've heard similar stories where people believe that their body has got used to a generally lower level of testosterone after a bad course which you can never alter/improve. If this is the case and I will never get any higher than the level i'm at now then I really don't know what to do.

My depression and especially anxiety are very bad at times. My testicles look normal but are smaller than they were when I was 17/18. My vo2 max is poor, I struggle to get rid of body fat but can lose weight and can maintain a fair degree of muscle. It's sort of like i'm nearly normal but not quite, which is why whenever i've had blood tests my GP has ALWAYS said everything looks fine, and they tend to instead concentrate on depression/anxiety medication which I know are not dealing with the real issue.

I've tried every herbal medication/vitamin out there and recently did a 6 months course of vitamins that are proven to help people with normal testosterone increase their levels. At times through this course I really felt like some of the vitamins were working and i'm sure for a short time they were, but essentially everything has come back to where I was before now.

My problem is, unlike some people I believe that my levels are perhaps not low enough to be considered for TRT (nor do I want to go down that route). But my levels are low enough to have a negative effect on my aspects of my life. My life has been very difficult for the past 6 years because i'm just not confident anymore and despite the fact recently i've really started to look much better through intense exercise, I am having to push myself extremely hard because my drive is terrible and sometimes I give up workouts very easily. I've actually gotten used to having this lower level of test.

Has anyone had a similar situation and how did you overcome it?

I've heard some people take clomid would this just be a temporary fix? I know the side effects of this drug can be quite bad.

I don't have any blood works right now which I apologise for as i've never been given any by my GP. All I know is that everytime i've ever had a blood test everything has come back normal and i've been tested for everything.

I have reacted to thinks like maca, d-aspartic acid and dhea but they only improve me for a short time. As I said, I can live a fairly normal life at times but on the same token I struggle with depression and anxiety and find it much harder to keep my body fat down. My sex drive is ok but could be better, though again most of the time that is linked to how depressed i'm feeling.

I think the worst thing for me is how un-ambitious I am now. I have no drive whatsoever whether it be at work or just training or playing sports. I'm very easily defeated and this is something I want to put right before I become a total failure of a person. If anyone has any advice on what I should do it would be greatly appreciated.

Apologies for the long post and lack of blood work but I can maybe go to the doctors soon to get these.


Regards


Alex