Poetry

[Elysium]

Hey

Please be serious with this thread

Have any of you written poetry? For a loved one? Or do you just write? Have you ever had poetry written for you, what do you think of it?

[Pale Horse]

Yes I did for my GF, my first love. She loved it, it probably wasn't very good but it came from my heart and that's all that mattered to she or me.

[BigGreen]

I write constantly.....and much of it has not been shown to anyone; it's my catharsis really. I've covered almost any and all subjects and some of it sucks and some of it turns out pretty **** good in my opinion. What little pieces i showed to professors for class assignments were met with an urging to pursue it as a publishable endeavor, but to me, it's intensely private, and I'll share it with a person, but not with people.

ALong thos lines, if anyone from AR that I *know* on some level or that seems like a legit person wants to read any of mine, there's some I'll share for feedback.

[Prime]

i wrote it as part of my degree. Im better at prose.

[Pale Horse]

Big. I don't know if you trust me but I'd like to check it out. I wrote a lot when I was in HS and college. I became too jaded along the way to pursue it, I'd like to start again. Like you peple I know have asked me why I don't try to get stuff published in the past. I agree I don't know if I could bare my soul to that degree.

[BigGreen]

Big. I don't know if you trust me but I'd like to check it out. I wrote a lot when I was in HS and college. I became too jaded along the way to pursue it, I'd like to start again. Like you peple I know have asked me why I don't try to get stuff published in the past. I agree I don't know if I could bare my soul to that degree.

I'll gladly swap a piece or two if you'd like....PM me an email of some kind...or i can just cut and paste into PM, but i'm not sure if the integrity of the structure would hold and I write at least slightly from a structuralist perspective and it impacts my work significantly....so to fully appreciate it, the structure needs to remain.

[decadbal]

of course but some guy stole em and said they were his.

[BigGreen]

of course but some guy stole em and said they were his.

How many times can I say i'm sorry??

[1badcamaro]

big, from the way you word things you're obviously extremely intelligent, please post some love poetry for us that are less talented so we can score points with our girls, lol, jk.

[BigGreen]

big, from the way you word things you're obviously extremely intelligent, please post some love poetry for us that are less talented so we can score points with our girls, lol, jk.

Honestly, i've shared more of myself, for better or worse, with this board than I have with those in my 'real' life. The insane intersection of community and anonymity just makes it the perfect environment in which to do so. Towards that end, i suppose i wouldn't mind openly sharing any of this....hell, those who have read my posts already know enough to tear me to shreds if they so desired, so what's a little more putting myself out there going to do?

[1badcamaro]

i'm sorry man, i meant no disrespect, i've actually read some of your other posts and you are definitely one hell of a guy. Acting like a smart ass is the way i deal with serious situations. And i dont think anyone here would use your personal info to tear you to shreds, at least a good bro wouldn't, so sorry if what i said was offensive, but it was not my intent.

[BigGreen]

i'm sorry man, i meant no disrespect, i've actually read some of your other posts and you are definitely one hell of a guy. Acting like a smart ass is the way i deal with serious situations. And i dont think anyone here would use your personal info to tear you to shreds, at least a good bro wouldn't, so sorry if what i said was offensive, but it was not my intent.

LOL...no, you definitely were NOT...though you did, probably through my own fault, definitely misinterpret my post. I am seriously considering posting a few of my pieces for public critique here...and i was just thinking aloud above. My apologies if it came across as my lambasting you....

[1badcamaro]

**** you and your big words (lambasting) anyway, i'd love to see some of your stuff, i'm betting its nothing short of spectacular

[BigGreen]

**** you and your big words (lambasting) anyway, i'd love to see some of your stuff, i'm betting its nothing short of spectacular

Well, we'll see. I've accumulated enough respect for this board that I believe i could throw some of it up here with no worries. I'll put up two or three. I'm not a big traditionalist when it comes to poetry or creative prose...so there's very little rhyming and plenty of word play that often takes several readings to notice...I consider a lot of my poetry both an expression and a playful interaction with those reading it (not that i normally ever let anyone see it...so quite the enigma there) - almost as if I want to make them 'earn' the right to see inside my head. Sure, I'll throw up a few.

[BigGreen]

Okay, here's one that might hit home with a lot of us....this is the only one for which I'll post my motivation for writing it. I wrote this immediately after my gf revealed to me that she was bulemic and it forced me to take stock of my own body image disorders more fully in addition to contemplating the sheer lunacy of it all....largely, and this is not at all inspirational, but the poem's structure and the them that underpins the large theme were inspired by the fact that until I wrote it, I refused to shower in the daytime without placing two towels over the window to block the sun since the mirror's lights were more flattering.

The mirror reflects the mistakes of the day
Light forgives sometimes
Light punishes today

Indiscretions – fleeting discipline short of super
Human
Form concrete twisted by shame

The surface grotesque – seeded not content to remain
Fertilized by two of me: I’s
Roots entrench in the soul

From his left to my right
From which was given birth by light
We collide - form mangled now beyond sight

Light punished today.
Me. Not me.
Both.

[BigGreen]

ANother one...kinda trippy

Interlocked Superlatives

Turning backwards towards evolution
Across millennia
All that effort
To lament the one who wanted more than plain rock
Opposable
Thumbs I want to say he didn’t deserve
Stain to say and here to stay

He started it all I know
because a she would not do this
She would be content to allow
Berries to stay berries among other things

Now superlatives wage war on a transparency of my heart
What can smudge and coat the most (afterwards we can fold it in half and see what we see)
Best
Worst
Is the best that I feel the worst I can do?

Don’t say it at night – the words hang on a breeze
Guided gently to the ground by decorum or shame
Clinging to
Do
They(?)
Remain till the sun whisks them away

Don’t say it at day – words are heavy then
And as though a plant succumbing to a late frost
A deft deference can not support its desires to uphold – if only for appearance
Their landing will not be soft and can not be forgotten as molecules rise to fall again
As in night

So feel it while the superlatives fight on
Let your fingers brush the tips of another for a final second before Icarus is reborn
Soon it will be covered and the game of what we see
Perverted by an impatient birther of sight mimicked
Will be over

[BigGreen]

Also trippy...noticing a theme? And trust me, the 'essence' of this is not at ALL what it appears...i think you'd need to know my personal situation to see it as anything other than the 'cliched' interpretation that is abused in cheesey love songs. LOL

Before I Met You Before

I could reach down and say in romantic tones
I think I knew you before I met you
But is there romance in matter of fact?
Is there love in literalism?
I knew you before I met you – before sight nervously brushed hands with perception
and smiled awkwardly at hope in a way that makes you think they knew each other from way back
Wrapped in sentiment and dressed in impact, it remains still - just a fact.

Without reaching – devoid of tones
I can say
I met you before I met you – once.
Where you were I can’t for certain say
If you were even here
Perhaps asleep…
maybe attempting to make sense of the whole mess that stains on cave walls started
for the first time for you.

Though I can tell you where we were – where I met you that first time
And let you get away – in time/with time
We met where naïveté and the privilege of not knowing betrayal and hurt
Allow for the bliss of salt on bird’s tails
And the hope that the world will all follow suit

It’s there that I met you
But it was without that mineral to hold you, or knowledge, or knowing
And like firefly nightlights knew it’d be there in the morn….or mourn when it wasn’t
It wasn’t.
They escaped to the trees you were abandoned to logic
I met you before once. I’ve met you now twice.
Gone is blissful naïveté – in its place a salted desire.

[1badcamaro]

awesome bro, look forward to reading them

[1badcamaro]

wow, very deep man, i think we could all relate to that. You definitely have a real talent

[BigGreen]

wow, very deep man, i think we could all relate to that. You definitely have a real talent

Thanks...sorta interested to see what others might have to say about it.

[1badcamaro]

your knowledge and use of words is definitely over my head, but what from what i do undertand, its excellent.

[Sierra_Breeze]

your knowledge and use of words is definitely over my head, but what from what i do undertand, its excellent.

As it is mine too, to an extent..

However I don't think you have to totaly understand the meaning, of all the words he uses, as much as the way they just seem to pick you up and carry you along with them... or as much as the way they so gracefully flow along the page, as well as the manner in which they're grouped.

The manner in which he writes, is (by me) undescribable by words, I think as with most all poetry, or (thought collections) You're never really fully capable of truely understanding what they are describing, or writing about and it will mean different things to different people.

Each person can come away with such a varied conclusion of what he's writing about, but only he truely knows for certian, or does he??

You truely have a way with words, and structure, and I'd also like to add that, although I'm uncertian, as to what you're speaking about, for the most part, it was truely beautifully written, and it touched my heart, even without knowing exactly how to fully comprehend it.

I'm unsure of what your situation is exactly other than what I read, that it involves those close to you, but Best wishes and good luck at harvard, when the timing is right...I think you show great potential, and will succeed, in whatever you set your mind to...

[BigGreen]

You're never really fully capable of truely understanding what they are describing, or writing about and it will mean different things to different people.

Each person can come away with such a varied conclusion of what he's writing about, but only he truely knows for certian, or does he??

And i think that's one of the most interesting aspects of all creative writing. Once an author completes a work, is any special claim to artistic 'ownership' and authority relinquished? Using my example, perhaps I did not relinquish these 'rights' upon completing the piece, but I believe that I did the moment I shared it with you all. To give a real world example, a person very close to me wrote a poem which I read...in it I saw symbolic reference after symbolic reference to a funeral. Word choices, structure, flow, etc...it ALL literally *screamed* funerary procession and the grieving process to me. Turns out she had written the piece with an eye towards describing the process of a couple being forced to part in the morning as one awoke for work earlier than the other. Is my interpretation, which was not wildly imaginative, but backed by the 'facts' correlating with my interpretation, any less valid? Likewise, while I wrote each of those pieces with a very definitive feeling or situation in mind, if 'you' interpret it different with justification, who am I to tell you you are incorrect? That's what I love about this stuff.

[1badcamaro]

and i hadnt seen the thread in awhile, but what have you decided to do about harvard?

[BigGreen]

and i hadnt seen the thread in awhile, but what have you decided to do about harvard?

I don't think I can go and I'm fighting like hell to get a deferment so I'm insured a spot in next year's class, but they don't generally grant them for these sorts of things. I'll know by manana hopefully. I just know I couldn't get through the rigors this year between my girlfriend's problem and my brother's situation...there's just far too much on my plate. Harvard has been there for a LONG time and will still be there. If not, Stanford or Berkeley might be fun....Harvard caliber profs and student body but palm trees and sunshine instead of fog and sleet.

I think i've grown up a great deal in the last few months being forced to face those two situations, and, in doing so, i realized that harvard isn't the be all/end all of the world....a few months ago I woulda stepped over anything and everything that got in my way, now I realize it's JUST a school, regardless of the folkloric mythos surrounding it.

[1badcamaro]

thats a valid point, but also a dream is a dream, and if its been your goal to go there, then you should in no way give up on that. There is always the future like you said and harvard will always be there.

[MrDezel]

I love to write, it is one of my favorite things in the world. A real good way to get my feelings out. It sounds gay but I'm a very sensitive person on the inside but I try to hide it for fear of being judged. That is why I write so I can get it all out. I am very poetic when I am under the influence (of weed) for some reason. I will try to dig up some of the poems I have written. I wrote one about VanGo's (spelling) Stary Stary Night painting. I submited it to my old schools poetry peridoical and it was published in it. Nothing award winning but it was from the heart and it was good... to me anyways.

Big Green you have a **** good talent bro! Don't let it go to waste.

[BigGreen]

I love to write, it is one of my favorite things in the world. A real good way to get my feelings out. It sounds gay but I'm a very sensitive person on the inside but I try to hide it for fear of being judged. That is why I write so I can get it all out. I am very poetic when I am under the influence (of weed) for some reason. I will try to dig up some of the poems I have written. I wrote one about VanGo's (spelling) Stary Stary Night painting. I submited it to my old schools poetry peridoical and it was published in it. Nothing award winning but it was from the heart and it was good... to me anyways.

Yeah, i'd love to see some of your stuff...posted up here if you don't consider it too intrusive. My favorite thing about this board is the manner in which it defies stereotypes, and I think having an "AR poetry library" of sorts would be kinda cool.

[Elysium]

Heres a quick one i wrote when i was like 16, fell in love with this girl. We would write to each other, i would write her a poem and she would reply in the form of a poem.


This is a quick 5 min poem i did when she moved away, missed her bad.

I will love you till i die, i cant explain it babe,
i dont know why, why i care so much about you,
no one can even try to take you away,
in my heart you will alwayz stay,
and until that special day, until we can embrace,
in my head, my heart and soul i'll see your face...

heres another

why is it you alwayz fall in love when you cant,
when you cant be close to that someone,
you wanna hold them and never let go,
alwayz wantin to see them, no chance to show,
why is it they alwayz live just out of yo reach,
but only round tha corner, they feel real close,
you wanna whisper to them you love them,
alwayz wantin to tell them that face to face,
why is it tha one i want i cant embrace,
why does this alwayz seem to happen,
when she writes, my face light up with emotion,
****, all this **** is never no fun,
it aint coz i wanna be near her, you know,
when you cant be close to that someone,
you wanna hold them and never let go.


Dont think im a good poet, but i spose i write how i feel n that so its good enough for me

[BigGreen]

Dont think im a good poet, but i spose i write how i feel n that so its good enough for me

And that's all i've ever really cared about. There's some poetry that supposed to be the pinnacle of human writing that I just can't stomach, and then there's some that's never received much in the way of accolades or kudos that I absolutely love. Truth be told, i wouldn't recognize traditionally 'good' poetry if it bit me...what makes it 'good' to me is when i can tell there's a person behind it struggling with what it means to be human in some way.

[kc]

do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

[BigGreen]

do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

Oh, absolutely. That can be incredibly fun but also incredibly frightening when you get really into it and then look at what you've put down after a good run.

[kc]

Oh, absolutely. That can be incredibly fun but also incredibly frightening when you get really into it and then look at what you've put down after a good run.

definately....what a huge stress reliever too! I have an entire book just of this type of writing....it's amazing what you can polish up and into an actual piece as well.

[Elysium]

do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

i do it if im going through a bad time, if something upsetting or stressful is/had happened. i would sit there for an hour and just write, pages and pages worth.

[Sierra_Breeze]

do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

This is how I write most of the time, if I try and force, the words to come, they fail me, but if I just let my thoughts flow, out through the end of the pen, onto the paper, it sometimes frightens me, but I'm usually pleased with what I've written..

And sometimes after I read it back, I can't even tell myself, what I was writing about but it's very cleansing to the mind, when I let all my thoughts out, and make room for more. And then there are times when it's painfully obvious what I was feeling or thinking..but always feel refreshed after.