Regarding making changes in ones life style etc.
Someone here wrote something like.....Ones desire to change has got to be STRONGER than ones desire to stay the same.
So, armed with the knowledge that I was done with my way of looking and feeling, i thought, THAT's me! Therefore, if i work hard, I will be able to change!
Well, i been trying to follow my new diet and work out rutine for two weeks and it has been extremelly hard, and to make it all worst, It's all a mind fuc*king game I am playing with myself, which makes me feel defeated!
The workout has been aq breeze, but the diet........a huge challenge. first of all, eatting the amounts that i have been eatting makes me barff, but that's nothing, the problem has been......breaking the fu**ing diet. I am a Chef, so....it's been particularly hard nOT to eat sweets, etc. However, I been getting up in the middle of the night and benching out on crap!
The worst part is this.....say that during the day I ran the extra mil;e, etc and felt real good about myself, if at night i wake up and ate the friking pastry in the kitchen counter, well....all that sacrifice and good work during the day is now meanningless. tHe first week, i did well and went from 160 to 167 pounds, I was very stonned, but I thought....well since i am trying to bulk up, fu*k....good you know, than my cheatting began, and it has been hard to put a stop to it.
All in all, i am right now, the number one obstacle between my new me and my me from all the time! Sorry guys, i have no question here for you: I am just pissed off at myself and I know what the answers are.
Dutch
