Dad takes over, because son is an idiot!

[cfiler]

My Son Is A Moron... He Did Not Come From My Loins...
Date: 2006-07-20, 1:39PM PDT


You do everything you can for your kids. God knows I've tried. But it seems like God enjoys a good joke, now and then.

I was raised in a strict household. My parents bore offspring from the early-50's to the mid-60's. I was around the middle of this brood. With nine mouths to feed, we did not have a lot of extras. We worked for simple things, like bicycles.

Nothing wrong with that. It's what we knew. And we were given a great foundation, on which we could create a life for ourselves. As I said, my parents were strict - which made me not wish to be such with my kids.

Ah, my kids... I'm in my forties, and the wife is a bit younger. I make a fine income, and try not to sweat anything. I get up... have coffee... look out at the ocean... read the paper... move onto my business.

I appreciate not having a house full of screaming kids in the morning (something that was impossible when I grew up). All I ask of my kids is to; a) be respectful of everyone, b) be honest c) get good grades, d) clean their rooms.

I do not ask for much, nor do I demand much. However... that is going to change tonight. Events that occurred this morning will bring about change like these kids have never known. The wife has kept me in the dark about some things as well.

It's my fault. I accept it. But I can reverse this downward trend - now. My generation (baby-boomers) has found that it is easier to go around a wall, than climb over over it - or knock it down. I'm as guilty as anyone.

My guilt turned into rage this morning. My son (and my wife) convinced me that he NEEDED a car (he's seventeen). I was not keen on a kid driving, that has trouble standing a surfboard, or walking down the stairs without tripping.

But I relented (again, why fight it). With some stipulations, we aquired a car for this child. The rules were put in place, and he proclaimed we were the greatest parents in the worls. Uh huh... It's 12:00pm, and he has yet to get out of bed. His mother has been instructed to tell my prodigy that he is GROUNDED. We have never done this, but we are today. And I mean GROUNDED in his room!

Not out by the pool. Not in the gameroom. His cluttered abode is where he better be when I get home tonight. And I'm going to be stopping for a drink, first. I deserve a drink after this morning. Let me tell you about my day.

I go out to my car in the driveway (I have a three-car garage - and "hers" is the only one that fits inside). My insanely over-priced piece of shit refuses to start today (3rd time in 2 months - the car is 6-monthss old). Okay... I call 'AAA'; it will 45-60 minutes. No time to wait. Okay... I'm going to take my kids' car.

I go in and retrieve the keys (everyone is till asleep @ 8am). I leave a note telling him to call me. His car is down the street at a friends house. Why? He claimed that our driveway was too crowded (and the other kids might scratch it).
Okay... I find his car... set off the alarm... Shit! People, one word; LOJACK. Goddamn, I hate those alarms.

Anyways I get in the car, after noticing the REALLY nice rims & tires on it. Hmmm, how did he pay for those? WHEN, did he get those? I get in, and notice a new STEERING WHEEL... without the AIRBAG - that I demanded he have. Oh, this car is totally bitchin' dude! It gets better...

I start it up... A huge racket comes from the exhaust (not stock anymore!)... And the stereo starts screaming out profanities! The backseat is now occupied by a huge box with speakers in it... and fast-food trash... and 'ziz-zag' papers... and empty 'trojan' wrappers (a chip off the 'ole block).

To say the least I am pissed. I proceed to drive this rattling, screaming (I tear the faceplate off - finally), piece of doo-doo down the road. I swear, I think I awakened everyone in the neighborhood. I head out onto PCH, and drive less than a mile... when MB's finest pulls me over...

WTF? I know I wasn't speeding. The officer comes up to the car, and asks for my license and insurance card... I hand over the license, and tell him I'm not sure where the insurance card is - 'it's my son's car'... "look in the glovebox" (he is - actually - smiling now)...

I open the glovebox... and a small BONG falls out... I look at him... he looks at me... This is not happening! Oh, but it is. The first thing I say is 'it's not mine!'... "um, sir, could you step out of the car, please"...

I get out, and we step onto the sidewalk. He tells me he stopped me for having an illegal exhaust (no shit - it sounds like two-dozen weedwhackers coming down the street). He also informs me that there are plenty more violations on this car... And I start laughing... He asks why am I laughing... And I tell him how my day is going.

"What about the water-pipe?" Indeed! I inform him that this is all a surprise to me, but I would like him to write up everything that is illegal about the vehicle. He looks at me like I'm crazy. But I want my kid to learn a lesson.

And the officer obliges me. He, even, finds some weed in the trunk... 17 tickets later, we are finished... almost... I ask him if I can keep all of the drug paraphenalia? "Why?" I want my kid to destroy it. I want this kid to know his "****-off" days are over.

The officer agrees. I could see he was wishing he could be there tonight, for the "lesson". He was pretty decent about the whole thing. This guy took, almost, a half-hour to go through all of this paperwork - and search. I thank him, and head out... He tells me if I get stopped again today, that I should show all the citations to the other officer - and I should not have any problems...

Problems?!! We have problems. I have lost control of my family. My wife is a co-conspirator. She has just been told that I want a listing of all of our household bills & accounts. 'Yes, dear - we are going to perform an audit'. She is protesting, but I do not care. This is war.

I know my family loves me, but they have played me for a fool. I may be a fool, but I am not dumb. She does not know that I just found out my son is in Summer school, because of bad grades. She doesn't know that DMV has provided me with her, and his, records; apparently they have a problem with obeying traffic laws.

It's not going to be easy, but something must be done. I swear, I feel like I have become my father... I want the best for my family, and feel something radical must happen. I can only hope they - truly - understand it is for our own good.




Some things that will be addressed tonight;

1) Son's vehicle is gone; oil up that chain on your bicycle.
2) All three kids will empty out the garage; sell it/ donate it/ whatever.
3) Mom will have a household budget.
4) Chores - that's right; everyone will have assigned chores.
5) Chores will be done, before anything else.
6) Homework will be done daily, before dinner. * Or, immediately after sports events, but always prior to 10pm.
7) Son's tickets will be paid with his allowance.
8) Son is grounded for the rest of the summer.
9) Son will study from 8am until 4pm - daily, durint the rest of summer vacation.
10) Videogames are banned from 10pm until 6pm - daily.
11) Everyone will be up by 8am - daily.
12) The youngest child is on a diet - now.
13) Mother will inform father of ALL infractions.
14) Dad will be home by 6pm - daily.
15) Everyone will eat dinner, together.
16) Mom will cook dinner - and it better not come out of the microwave.
17) The maid is being given four weeks notice. * That is going to be fun - I may not see a sexual interlude for awhile.
18) Dad is getting a new car, and parking it in his garage.
19) Son may get a USED car, when his grades are A's & B's, for two - consecutive - semesters.
20) Mom and son are to attend driving school.
21) Son will explain drug usage - completely, or face rehab & boarding school.
22) Mom will be weaned off of her "medications"; NOW.
23) Children will make their own lunches, for school; no more money for shitty school food.
24) NO soda. Maybe, when we dine out. Maybe, on the weekends.
25) NO MySpace accounts, or any other assinine accounts - a computer geek will check all of their computers - monthly (they need fear put into their lives).
26) Dad will attend all school functions.
27) Everyone will be present for all birthdays.
28) Children will wear clothes that Dad approves of.
29) Mom will dress daughter like a little girl; not a 'hoochie-mama'. * and - definitely - no "juicy" pants on her bottom!
30) Daughter will not have any underwear, except for briefs.
31) Sons will not be told to pull up their pants, or face having said pants donated.
32) NO 'Rap' music, within Dad's hearing range.
33) NO tattoos, until you are out of my house.
34) NO piercings (except for daughter's ears), until you are out of my house.
35) NO dyeing of hair, until you are out of my house.




Did I miss something?



I'm continuing to add to the list...



Tell me if I missed something...



Tell me if I'm wrong...



I've seen those "wife-swap" & "nanny" shows...



I hate to think that is my life...



Wish me luck...



I may be sleeping on the patio tonight...
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/184295834.html

[Phreak101]

That is probably the funniest thing I've read in a long time...

[chest6]

Some of those are kinna harsh. But damn..I guess its necessary. How did he pay for all that? Dealin weed? Uh oh!

[usualsuspect]

I'm sure writing that long post calmed you down. Its always good stress/anger relief to put your thoughts down on paper.

Anyway regarding your son he really doesn't sound like a bad kid. Frankly it sounds like your going a bit overboard with the whole "put your foot down" thing.

Letting him know he screwed up and there are consequences for his action should be suffice (imo). Be firm and tell him that shit is not acceptable in your household.

Simply tell him he has two option:
1.) Wise up
or
2) Find the door

Honestly don't think all those rules are neccessary. They'll only bring more upheaval and rebellion from your son. Just tell him (be firm and bit fierce) his behavior is not going to fly for as long as he lives under your roof and if it happens again he'll really regret it.

[Phreak101]

I'm sure writing that long post calmed you down. Its always good stress/anger relief to put your thoughts down on paper.

Anyway regarding your son he really doesn't sound like a bad kid. Frankly it sounds like your going a bit overboard with the whole "put your foot down" thing.

Letting him know he screwed up and there are consequences for his action should be suffice (imo). Be firm and tell him that shit is not acceptable in your household.

Simply tell him he has two option:
1.) Wise up
or
2) Find the door

Honestly don't think all those rules are neccessary. They'll only bring more upheaval and rebellion from your son. Just tell him (be firm and bit fierce) his behavior is not going to fly for as long as he lives under your roof and if it happens again he'll really regret it.

don't think cfiler actually wrote that. It looks like he just cut and paste it from craigslist for our amusement. I could be wrong though

[usualsuspect]

lol Looks like I'm the idiot now!

don't think cfiler actually wrote that. It looks like he just cut and paste it from craigslist for our amusement. I could be wrong though

[Phreak101]

lol Looks like I'm the idiot now!

Nah you were just tryin to help! Still funny though! (j/k!)

[cfiler]

I'm sure writing that long post calmed you down. Its always good stress/anger relief to put your thoughts down on paper.

Anyway regarding your son he really doesn't sound like a bad kid. Frankly it sounds like your going a bit overboard with the whole "put your foot down" thing.

Letting him know he screwed up and there are consequences for his action should be suffice (imo). Be firm and tell him that shit is not acceptable in your household.

Simply tell him he has two option:
1.) Wise up
or
2) Find the door

Honestly don't think all those rules are neccessary. They'll only bring more upheaval and rebellion from your son. Just tell him (be firm and bit fierce) his behavior is not going to fly for as long as he lives under your roof and if it happens again he'll really regret it.

That's not me. I just took it from Craigslist because I thought everyone here might get a kick out of it.

[gixxerboy1]

I like how he is giving his wife rules. That would go over Most women would tell him to go eff himself.

[Phreak101]

I like how he is giving his wife rules. That would go over Most women would tell him to go eff himself.

Gixxer your fiance is smokin hot dude. Post more pics with her new "enahncements"!

[gixxerboy1]

Gixxer your fiance is smokin hot dude. Post more pics with her new "enahncements"!

lol. Thanks bro.

[vermin]

I like how he is giving his wife rules. That would go over Most women would tell him to go eff himself.

You need to start that day 1 - date 1. As a social animal, human groups to function effectively have to have an Alpha. This does not mean you are a wife-beating low-life, you are just clear and confident and in charge. Even most so-called "liberated" women will respond very quickly and positively to a friendly and clear course of action that makes it clear: "We are not equal, and that is ultimately to your benefit" - you don't say it, just be it, and in short order she will comment upon it, appreciatively - probably in wonderment as it dawns upon her that she actually feels safer and happier than she ever has in her life because you are in charge. If she does not, she has been ruined by the pervasive socialist upbringing running rampant in this country and you need to move on.

The problem with this guy is he is not acting like a man, so does not get the respect due a man. And why is this dufus worried about being like his father? He obviously shows little respect for his own parents, so no wonder he gets none as a parent at home.

And all cars in my household are mine. End of discussion. Even if there ends up being an "extra", the kid is 100% aware that he is driving Dad's car, and it will return to my control and possession when it is returned, and there will be hell to pay if he messes up my ride.

[gixxerboy1]

You need to start that day 1 - date 1. As a social animal, human groups to function effectively have to have an Alpha. This does not mean you are a wife-beating low-life, you are just clear and confident and in charge. Even most so-called "liberated" women will respond very quickly and positively to a friendly and clear course of action that makes it clear: "We are not equal, and that is ultimately to your benefit" - you don't say it, just be it, and in short order she will comment upon it, appreciatively - probably in wonderment as it dawns upon her that she actually feels safer and happier than she ever has in her life because you are in charge. If she does not, she has been ruined by the pervasive socialist upbringing running rampant in this country and you need to move on.
The problem with this guy is he is not acting like a man, so does not get the respect due a man. And why is this dufus worried about being like his father? He obviously shows little respect for his own parents, so no wonder he gets none as a parent at home.

And all cars in my household are mine. End of discussion. Even if there ends up being an "extra", the kid is 100% aware that he is driving Dad's car, and it will return to my control and possession when it is returned, and there will be hell to pay if he messes up my ride.

So if a woman doesn't feel the man is in charge she is ruined. I ask my girl her opinion when we make any decision. I respect her and she appreciates it. I had 2 cars when we started dating. She started driving 1 and know its hers. You honestly think a woman is going to feel more secure when you say everything is yours and you play the hard ass alpha male? Sounds like your the one who is insecure.

[Kärnfysikern]

"We are not equal, and that is ultimately to your benefit" - you don't say it, just be it, and in short order she will comment upon it, appreciatively - probably in wonderment as it dawns upon her that she actually feels safer and happier than she ever has in her life because you are in charge. If she does not, she has been ruined by the pervasive socialist upbringing running rampant in this country and you need to move on.

Jesus christ. Having a girl that puts up with that would be dead ass boring. I WANT a equal otherwise there is no point in having a relationship.

[stewie]

I'm sure writing that long post calmed you down. Its always good stress/anger relief to put your thoughts down on paper.

Anyway regarding your son he really doesn't sound like a bad kid. Frankly it sounds like your going a bit overboard with the whole "put your foot down" thing.

Letting him know he screwed up and there are consequences for his action should be suffice (imo). Be firm and tell him that shit is not acceptable in your household.

Simply tell him he has two option:
1.) Wise up
or
2) Find the door

Honestly don't think all those rules are neccessary. They'll only bring more upheaval and rebellion from your son. Just tell him (be firm and bit fierce) his behavior is not going to fly for as long as he lives under your roof and if it happens again he'll really regret it.

i dont think wise up or find the door is a good idea
it will push the kid away
i think you should enforce these rules, he will thank you later in life
good luck, hope it works out

[Beefyman]

Damn dude... sounds wild.... my mom cought me and my bro with weed and gave us a "Long talk" about it and how stupid we are... and come my dads birthday the house smells like weed bad... haha
dude i am glad to see that you took charge *my hero* keep it up bro

[Panzerfaust]

I would like to think that my family would never get that bad, i would be kicking asses all over the house long before that shit, not to mention i am not buying my kid (when i have one) a ****ing car, he can buy it himself, i will match what he puts in up to $2,000

As far as the weed goes, i would confiscate it and use it for myself but kick the shit out of him for

A. He did it behind my back
B. He did not share

Little ****er

[Beefyman]

Update please

[LBT]

Update please

He's in the foundations of the new pool.

[Superhuman]

wow that's funny... i wish my parents bought me a new car!

[stayinstacked]

If I was pulled over and ticketed like that, and the officer came across a weed pipe and zig zag wrappers in my sons car, I would go APE............SHIT!!!!! That little bastard would change his act fast or he'd be out of the damn house on his own. If he wants to **** it up for himself then go ahead, but your not bringing your shit in and burdening my family. It sounds like they all have it way too easy, and your the one out busting your ass making money.

[spencer]

wow, hitler is back lol

[THE_DOME]

i think of that kid as very ungreatful, he should be severly repremanded just like his dad is doind. that dad is working hard for his family and all his fam can do is shyt on him,

[vermin]

Sing your song to your God STALIN, you poor eunuchs...

[Kärnfysikern]

Sing your song to you God STALIN, you poor eunuchs...

What are you talking about man

[vermin]

What are you talking about man

Your approach to what is ultimately the family results in a weakening of the family as the primary social structure and an eventual reorientation of individuals so that their primary relationship is with the state. A fundamental goal of Marxism.

I was raised by hippies, I know.

It required years of empirical experience that clearly refuted what I'd been bred to believe (a small part of which you are spouting), an inner ruthless adherence to the truth no matter how it seemed to contradict what I had previously believed to be true, a noteworthy intellect, and probably some luck to some 20 years later hold views that are nearly all 180 degrees from what I'd been raised to believe and personally held in my teens and early to mid 20s.

From my observance of others, I would asses that your odds of achieving the same are not good. It is far more common to resolutely refuse to accept empirical evidence contrary to one's beliefs.

Sorry.

[Kärnfysikern]

Your approach to what is ultimately the family results in a weakening of the family as the primary social structure and an eventual reorientation of individuals so that their primary relationship is with the state. A fundamental goal of Marxism.

I was raised by hippies, I know.

It required years of empirical experience that clearly refuted what I'd been bred to believe (a small part of which you are spouting), an inner ruthless adherence to the truth no matter how it seemed to contradict what I had previously believed to be true, a noteworthy intellect, and probably some luck to some 20 years later hold views that are nearly all 180 degrees from what I'd been raised to believe and personally held in my teens and early to mid 20s.

From my observance of others, I would asses that your odds of achieving the same are not good. It is far more common to resolutely refuse to accept empirical evidence contrary to one's beliefs.

Sorry.

Well I am not a marxist and dont care for communism.

But I do know one thing and that is that I dont want a women that bow to my wishes. I dont want or need to be in charge in my home. I want a strong and intelligent woman not a dog that jumps when I tell them to....

Offcourse I belive that women and men are intellectual equals aswell so why should I treat them as inferior to myself? There is no empirical evidence to support women beeing less than males except in physical strenght.

[vermin]

Well I am not a marxist and dont care for communism.

But I do know one thing and that is that I dont want a women that bow to my wishes. I dont want or need to be in charge in my home. I want a strong and intelligent woman not a dog that jumps when I tell them to....

Offcourse I belive that women and men are intellectual equals aswell so why should I treat them as inferior to myself? There is no empirical evidence to support women beeing less than males except in physical strenght.

Every organization needs a chief executive. No CEO is effective by being surrounded by sycophants ("a dog that jumps when I tell them to"). For some reason you are missing the nuances of the way life really works - I hope you are very young, and thus have a chance, however thin, to lose this narrow and very immature view of life and relationships - be they boardroom or bedroom, as they are fundamentally the same.

[pumpd4lif]

yes u need to put ur foot down indeed i wouldnt except anything less then what ur asking for.i feel mutiny is afoot gl

[Superhuman]

ARE MEATHEADS REALLY THIS UNOBSERVANT??? You DO realize that Cfiler found that post on craigslist, right?

[vermin]

ARE MEATHEADS REALLY THIS UNOBSERVANT??? You DO realize that Cfiler found that post on craigslist, right?

To foment discussion....

[Kale]

Seems to me the father is as much to blame as the family and all the shit he listed is "closeing the gate after the horse has bolted" !!!

[gixxerboy1]

Well my girl did actually grow up in communism. And im not about to make if feel like that again.

If anything my girl probably bosses me around. I could care less. Its not about who is boss. We both respect each other and take care of each other when it comes down to it.

[vermin]

Seems to me the father is as much to blame as the family and all the shit he listed is "closeing the gate after the horse has bolted" !!!

Very probably. A family can not survive run by committee - among other things, it overly empowers children. They begin to think that their views and opinions are just as valid as adults, instead of understanding that it is their place to benefit and learn from the adults. In extreme cases I have heard of children actually talking about their "rights".

A recipe for a lost generation, and potentially a lost society.

[Evil Predator]

Johan, you put too much thought into this. I wouldnt even argue with someone who has his beliefs.

I'd hope if I treated my girlfriend the way he describes, she'd beat some sense into me with a lead pipe right before she left my ass out in the cold. Its twisted and disgusting.

Takes all types i guess..

[Kärnfysikern]

Johan, you put too much thought into this. I wouldnt even argue with someone who has his beliefs.

I'd hope if I treated my girlfriend the way he describes, she'd beat some sense into me with a lead pipe right before she left my ass out in the cold. Its twisted and disgusting.

Takes all types i guess..

well I enjoy all kinds of debates. If nothing else it atleast sharpens my own debating ability

[vermin]

Johan, you put too much thought into this. I wouldnt even argue with someone who has his beliefs.

I'd hope if I treated my girlfriend the way he describes, she'd beat some sense into me with a lead pipe right before she left my ass out in the cold. Its twisted and disgusting.

Takes all types i guess..

It is neither, and it is your socialist propaganda that is poisoning our society.

[gixxerboy1]

It is neither, and it is your socialist propaganda that is poisoning our society.

Do you mind me asking what counrty you are from. I'm guessing and eastern European.

[vermin]

Do you mind me asking what counrty you are from. I'm guessing and eastern European.

American since my people were pushed out after Culloden.

[gixxerboy1]

What your explaining is a great way to run a business or as you said it a platoon. But you can't run your family that way. Yes things might get done and be in order. But it will not be truly happy.
What your describing almost sounds like what you see on TV when they show some rich Connecticut family. They have a power figure, A dad or grandmother usually that thinks they control everything. When reality they whole thing is out of control and they just sweep shit under the rug so it never happened.