girl question...???

[jport1540]

Ok, so I been hangin out with this girl, and we are NOT dating, but we are pretty close, she stays over alot, etc.....i guess some people say its like dating, but without the title. Though we remind eachother we are not dating....anyways, here is my predicament: I wouldnt mind maybe in the future bein in a relationship, but one thing is that i am recently getting into fitness and improving my body and what not, however, she has no interest in working out or getting rid of her tummy. She eats kinda shitty and dosent exercise. She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy, but I want her to start working out , not just to share a common interest with me, but to shed some of her tummy. But I do not know how to approach her about it. I do not want to hurt her feeling, as she says she is comfortabel with her body, and says she dosent need to do anyting to it. What do you guys reccomend I do, how do I approach such a sensitive situation? Thanks.

[audis4]

tell her your looking for a workout buddy and ask her if shes interested.

[gixxerboy1]

So you want to tell a girl your not dating she needs to work out and loose her tummy. That should go over well.
If your attracted to her now it shouldn't matter and if your not then leave. If she is happy and comfortable with her self don't mess with that. Nobody's perfect.

[jport1540]

I know no one is perfect and she is awesome. Bt it bothers me, she dosent have to be skinny, just care about her health. I want a girl who , to an extent, cares about her apearence.

[Bojangles69]

Ok, so I been hangin out with this girl, and we are NOT dating, but we are pretty close, she stays over alot, etc.....i guess some people say its like dating, but without the title. Though we remind eachother we are not dating....anyways, here is my predicament: I wouldnt mind maybe in the future bein in a relationship, but one thing is that i am recently getting into fitness and improving my body and what not, however, she has no interest in working out or getting rid of her tummy. She eats kinda shitty and dosent exercise. She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy, but I want her to start working out , not just to share a common interest with me, but to shed some of her tummy. But I do not know how to approach her about it. I do not want to hurt her feeling, as she says she is comfortabel with her body, and says she dosent need to do anyting to it. What do you guys reccomend I do, how do I approach such a sensitive situation? Thanks.

hah!! so shes got a tummy and you want her to slim down to make her more attractive?
dude simple.
your not in a relationship with her, its not right to make such a request (especially in the begining stages) later on if your were dating for a year or 2 than of course you could bring it up, but if anything she'll 1) think your a control freak and 2) think you dont appreciate her.
so decide for yourself, right now as of present time, is she worthy enought for you? if not, next her ass. if you can accept her flaws and proceed forth with the normal course of things, than go for it.
But if i was a chick and my guy said "your diets fvcked up you need to shed some tummy fat" id kick him in the balls throw him to the curb.

Again now this is just a recommendation. If it was me, id do a little power shift and value surge onto myself. Make her crave me more with basic psychological manipulation tactics or w/e, id pull back away from her and every time she stepped forward id wave a subtle implied "you need to drop 20lbs to get with this" sign but WITHOUT verbally saying it.

Its really quite simple, most people are pawns, you just have to know how to order them around with some sly trickery. If this is the path you choose, i suggest you start pulling back a little bit, refine and exagerate your value to her. Give her something she loves, take it away. Break down her defenses with some psychological warfare. Anytime she eats unhealthy start talking about other chicks, anytime she says anything remotely related to fitness gift her with an orgasm or 2. Its not difficult, some people might not condone it, but you'd ultimately be doing her a favor so to each his own.

[pepperoni]

I know no one is perfect and she is awesome. Bt it bothers me, she dosent have to be skinny, just care about her health. I want a girl who , to an extent, cares about her apearence.

then maybe she isn't the girl for you? It's good that you want her to be healthy, but we all must realize that not everybody has an interest in working out and going to the gym. We can't force it upon them, you should invite her to come work out with you, and tell her you will show her around the gym and what not and let her know it will be fun. But if she refuses, then there isn't much you can do.

[gixxerboy1]

I know no one is perfect and she is awesome. Bt it bothers me, she dosent have to be skinny, just care about her health. I want a girl who , to an extent, cares about her apearence.

I'm sure she does care about her appearance. She gets her hair and nails probably done. I'm sure she cares how she is dressed.
If you have no right to say anything to her. Your not even dating her. Either except her or move on. But if your not happy with her this early in a relationship wait to you get comfortable.

[DamnYouMSN]

just tell her shes getting fat....and you don't like fat people.

[Mizfit]

There really is no delicate way of saying it - particualrily if she is happy.

your the one with the problem - either accept her for what she looks like tummy and all or move on.

It's not fair to impose your views on someone who is fine the wya they are.

[C_Bino]

There really is no delicate way of saying it - particualrily if she is happy.

your the one with the problem - either accept her for what she looks like tummy and all or move on.

It's not fair to impose your views on someone who is fine the wya they are.

Hey thats not what you said to me. You said you wouldnt go on a date with me unless I lost 20lbs...

[DSM4Life]

Ok, so I been hangin out with this girl, and we are NOT dating, but we are pretty close, she stays over alot, etc.....i guess some people say its like dating, but without the title. Though we remind eachother we are not dating....anyways, here is my predicament: I wouldnt mind maybe in the future bein in a relationship, but one thing is that i am recently getting into fitness and improving my body and what not, however, she has no interest in working out or getting rid of her tummy. She eats kinda shitty and dosent exercise. She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy, but I want her to start working out , not just to share a common interest with me, but to shed some of her tummy. But I do not know how to approach her about it. I do not want to hurt her feeling, as she says she is comfortabel with her body, and says she dosent need to do anyting to it. What do you guys reccomend I do, how do I approach such a sensitive situation? Thanks.

I can honestly say your a moron. Sorry to be so blunt but you are dating this girl that you say " She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy" which makes her sound like a really nice girl but she is not good enough for YOU because she has a little bit of a tummy ?! HAHAH Why don't you quit while your ahead and just leave this "sweet girl" to someone who will respect her for who she is.

[DamnYouMSN]

why is everyone bashing him for?? is it so wrong that he wants her to look good and be fit?? fvck that if my girlfriend started to gain weight and look unattractive i would let her know.

[DSM4Life]

why is everyone bashing him for?? is it so wrong that he wants her to look good and be fit?? fvck that if my girlfriend started to gain weight and look unattractive i would let her know.

He just met this girl, why the F*** should she change for him?


What would you do if you met a new girl at the bar and she said "Hey, i think you need to get smaller because your too big?" I am sure i can predict your answer. I would give the same answer to this guy if i was her.

[mavsluva]

There really is no delicate way of saying it - particualrily if she is happy.

your the one with the problem - either accept her for what she looks like tummy and all or move on.

It's not fair to impose your views on someone who is fine the wya they are.

I concur with these statements.

[gixxerboy1]

why is everyone bashing him for?? is it so wrong that he wants her to look good and be fit?? fvck that if my girlfriend started to gain weight and look unattractive i would let her know.

There is nothing wrong with that. But read his post he isnt dating her. He made that clear.

[mavsluva]

I can honestly say your a moron. Sorry to be so blunt but you are dating this girl that you say " She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy" which makes her sound like a really nice girl but she is not good enough for YOU because she has a little bit of a tummy ?! HAHAH Why don't you quit while your ahead and just leave this "sweet girl" to someone who will respect her for who she is.

DSM4Life:

It's like you told me in a different thread:

"There are 8 billion people in this world and not all of them are going to think like you. Deal with it."

This dude is not a moron. Referring to jport. Just attempting to make sure that we're all practicing what we preach on here!

[T3/T4 GSR]

Dude don't even bother...I tried to help my GF with a new diet and a morning cardio routine since she has gained like 30 pounds since we starte dating. Needless to say she just cried that I thought she was fat and got all upset.

[DSM4Life]

DSM4Life:

It's like you told me in a different thread:

"There are 8 billion people in this world and not all of them are going to think like you. Deal with it."

This dude is not a moron. Referring to jport.

I know i was a little blunt , sorry. It just gets under my skin that this guy just walks into this girls life wanting to get her on a diet?! I treat women with respect and to me this is totally disrespectable to the girl.

Again your right and this is just my option. I am trying to help him see her side of the coin.

[mavsluva]

Ok, so I been hangin out with this girl, and we are NOT dating, but we are pretty close, she stays over alot, etc.....i guess some people say its like dating, but without the title. Though we remind eachother we are not dating....anyways, here is my predicament: I wouldnt mind maybe in the future bein in a relationship, but one thing is that i am recently getting into fitness and improving my body and what not, however, she has no interest in working out or getting rid of her tummy. She eats kinda shitty and dosent exercise. She is a sweet girl and would do anything to make someone happy, but I want her to start working out , not just to share a common interest with me, but to shed some of her tummy. But I do not know how to approach her about it. I do not want to hurt her feeling, as she says she is comfortabel with her body, and says she dosent need to do anyting to it. What do you guys reccomend I do, how do I approach such a sensitive situation? Thanks.

I'm not too kosher about the whole idea of this. But, if you were to actually act upon your wishes, then here's how I would do it. Invite her to do some physical activities. Find one that she really enjoys and do it often. That might enable her to want to get more fit and in the long run, could actually bring you guys closer as a couple. Challenge each other to make each other better.

Good luck!

[mavsluva]

I know i was a little blunt , sorry. It just gets under my skin that this guy just walks into this girls life wanting to get her on a diet?! I treat women with respect and to me this is totally disrespectable to the girl.

Again your right and this is just my option. I am trying to help him see her side of the coin.

It's cool, man! Sometimes we must learn our life lessons the hard way. And I think jport has really done himself a service in asking the audience before performing the act!

[Mizfit]

Here is ym two cents. If you make her feel bad about herself because u don't like something about her appearance, she will have a hard time getting over it or trusting you ever again.

You might call it constructive critism, but when you like someone and they make such comments it hurts.

I dated a guy last year who said, "Your perfect except.. " (He wanted me to have a boob job)

Before that i wasn't ever self conciious of having smaller boobs.. but i can honestly say that even though he is long gone - I still get self contious about it sometimes ,whereas before he opened his trap i was fine.

There r plently of guys who will like her with her tummy and all - so if you can't accept her for what she is - move on and let her live.

[jport1540]

I appreciatethe help from evryone thus far. Let me clarify a little more, so as to not like like a "moron". It's not like I met her last week and am all about her getting fit or I want nothing to do with her. I am not saying that if she dosent get healthier that I won't hang around with her. We have known eachother a while and she knows that fitness is becoming an important part of my life, so she knows I am looking for athletic girls, and that I have alway shad a thing for them. I like her for the person she is, because that is what is important. Looks are nice, but I am not saying I am concerned just with a tummy, I still have weight to cut (prolly a good 10lbs), but her eating habbits are also not good, and I know no one is perfect and we all have room to improve, but I feel that I would like someone who cares more about their health. People on her sayin I need to jst like her for her, and that i do not appreicate her are wrong, I do. But is it wrong to like certain characteristics in someone, especially if you are considering a long term relationship? AND...DSM, I did not just "walk into her life and want to put her on a diet". She has expressed a mild interest in gettinghealthier, I am just trying to find the right way to do it, as its a sensitive situation. Secondly, I treat her with great respect as well, I think you arer misunderstanding what I am really asking.

[collar]

say you want to do workout?
see what my world is like.
you might like it.

[gixxerboy1]

But is it wrong to like certain characteristics in someone, especially if you are considering a long term relationship? .

Not not at all. But asking her to change to fit those characteristics isn't right. If she is expressing interest in being healthier then great. But let her bring the subject up.

[collar]

if you guys have good relationship you can approach her about it.
but im assuming you guys dont.
so you might have to just leave it or just ask her to come to your gym.
but if shes not your gf who cares?
but you did say i might start dating her later, so really your looking out for yourself not her, and your playing the what if game.
if people dont want to help themselves you cant do anything for them.

[STYLE74]

She has to want it.

[neverenuff21]

There isn't a damn thing wrong with him being a little concerned with the things he is!
Shes been spending the night with him on several occasions and he obviously is interested in it becoming more. If someone treats their health and appearance with respect, is it wrong to ask their partner to also? I dont think so.He obviously likes her as a person, you dont just "throw the baby out with the bath water" because of her gut. Its just one area he would like to see improvement.

And are we all forgetting fitness means more than just becoming more aesthetically pleasing? God forbid he should ask someone to be healthier.
But bro, thats a sensitive subject. Tread lightly or you could cause more damage than construction. And maybe even permanant scars.
Maybe offer to or go ahead and change something for her. give and take. show her your willing to make sacrafices for her.

[Mizfit]

Tread lightly or you could cause more damage than construction. And maybe even permanant scars.
Maybe offer to or go ahead and change something for her. give and take. show her your willing to make sacrafices for her.

Exactly.

[neverenuff21]

thank you dear.

[neverenuff21]

I know my fiance is my best friend. She would change anything for me if it was really something I wanted. But then, I've slowly built this trusting relationship. She sees me, and thinks i look awesome, so I feel like a lot of her motivation comes from wanting to be proud to be on my arm. She respects that I work hard/look good and feels I deserve that in a partner as well.

Will she ever get where I/her would like to see her? Probably not. But I love/admire her for her dedication to trying.
My .02

[Mizfit]

I know my fiance is my best friend. She would change anything for me if it was really something I wanted. But then, I've slowly built this trusting relationship. She sees me, and thinks i look awesome, so I feel like a lot of her motivation comes from wanting to be proud to be on my arm. She respects that I work hard/look good and feels I deserve that in a partner as well.

Will she ever get where I/her would like to see her? Probably not. But I love/admire her for her dedication to trying.
My .02

eXACtly .

I will be honest my boyfriend is not where i think he should be.. boy meet me ina gym and in all honesty - am convinced it was his last time there and was one of the few times in the last few years he had actually gone.

It's a catch 22/22 though.. He gives me stuff others haven't - i can be myself

[PROTEINSHAKE]

Nooo!!! Miz Changed The Avvy!!!! Booo

[Mizfit]

Nooo!!! Miz Changed The Avvy!!!! Booo

The girl in ur's ins Hot btw

[PROTEINSHAKE]

The girl in ur's ins Hot btw

thanks. you already knew I liked your other one though.

as for our friend with the belly issue.....it just doesnt sound like she is for you man.....even well thought out comments may be destructive to her & any relationship you have going...either she gets the gym bug or you gotta get over it or move on....

[NightTrain]

terrible avvvy mizfit, you ruined my whole morning

[gixxerboy1]

And are we all forgetting fitness means more than just becoming more aesthetically pleasing? God forbid he should ask someone to be healthier.
.

Because it doesn't sound like weight is really a health concern. If its just a little tummy that's not really a health risk. Also the damage he would probably do to her mental health is worse then the 10lbs is to her physical health.

[Mizfit]

Because it doesn't sound like weight is really a health concern. If its just a little tummy that's not really a health risk. Also the damage he would probably do to her mental health is worse then the 10lbs is to her physical health.

YUP

[neverenuff21]

I suppose so but even a big tummy has to start somewhere. You gonna wait till it becomes a health risk, of prevent it from being an issue? Even big stomachs start out as litttle tummies