Is it just me or does anyone else hate real smart people?

[Bojangles69]

Maybe its an insecurity or jealousy issue, but this kid helped me change my tire last semester because my jack broke. He was a complete stranger at the time and was totally cool.
Dude said it he was graduating. Than hes in one of my classes this semester? Im like dude "whats up, i thought you were graduating?" and he said he did and that he was in grad school now.

Anyway, this kid turns out to be a FVCKING genious. Im serious, we watched a vid in class and his factual recall had to be around 95%. Like he remembered almost EVERY detail of the movie.
Im thinking "ok dude had to see it before" (tuskegee documentary.. which really isnt popular)
Sometimes when he starts talking the teacher will let him rant because his insights on everything are really profound and hes always got something to say that no one thought of. Today he got into a debate with the teacher (who is no idiot herself) and OWNED THE SHIT OUT OF HER.

So now, involuntarily, I HATE the kid. Everytime he opens his mouth I just wanna say something (even if its dumb) just to make him look like a fool. NOONE can win with him in a debate. He doesnt offend anyone, he just literally knows EVERYTHING.

I consider myself a pretty mature person, but if there is one thing that intimidates me and makes me feel like an angry little homicidal boy, its someone who is smarter than me and makes it obvious without trying.
Looks, size, shape, and strength have no affect on me. But I got real issues with this part of my psych for some reason.. I fvcking HATE smart people.

[x_moe]

i would make really good friends with him and let him do my homework

[SMAN12b]

That certainly can be annoying. I guess it would depend on the way he carries himself and treats others. If he belittles everyone because he is so much smarter than they are, that would be cause for an ass kicking.....lolol

But if he is humble about it, then maybe he can be tolerated

[yngnastyman]

i wouldnt mind as long as he isnt a snobb

you gotta be glad people like that are around, they usually make all the nice progress we have in modern technology\medicine, you owe your way of life to smart people

[Kale]

Yes I hate myself a lot !!!

[lucabratzi]

if he was cool then i woulndt hate him..thats good that he's smart...when i see people that have a wealth of knowledge it makes me wanna work harder...become freinds with him so you can learn things from him...no reason to hate on him...

[scottythebody]

i'm just the opposite, I hate really dumb people

[IBdmfkr]

I dislike smart ppl who aren't humble about it, just like badass chicks who think they are the shit.. they seem to not realize they are a dime-a-dozen.

[thegodfather]

I'm really not impressed by the fact that he can recall 95% of a movie, that really only speaks to memorization... However, having a good analytical mind capable of forming profound or interesting views on a topic is what impresses me...However, I think really anyone is capable of this as long as they are well informed on the subject. I see people everyday in school who really want to put out the appearence of intelligence but when you talk to them and all they're capable of doing is recalling things they have read or heard in lecture without any original though, that really doesnt impress me in the least. Just like the parrots who are on the boards regurgitating the information they have "heard."

There is a very fine line however, because we do grade intelligence on mastery of a particular subject...However, memorizing a bunch of shit which you actually do not understand is a different story..Im sure you know what Im talking about...

[auslifta]

I'm really not impressed by the fact that he can recall 95% of a movie, that really only speaks to memorization... However, having a good analytical mind capable of forming profound or interesting views on a topic is what impresses me...However, I think really anyone is capable of this as long as they are well informed on the subject. I see people everyday in school who really want to put out the appearence of intelligence but when you talk to them and all they're capable of doing is recalling things they have read or heard in lecture without any original though, that really doesnt impress me in the least. Just like the parrots who are on the boards regurgitating the information they have "heard."

There is a very fine line however, because we do grade intelligence on mastery of a particular subject...However, memorizing a bunch of shit which you actually do not understand is a different story..Im sure you know what Im talking about...

hit nail on head,dont hate me cause of my opinions,or my ability to say big words or speak good england, or memory something.

[chest6]

too much text.


Must be read to.

Wu tang.

[RA]

I'm really not impressed by the fact that he can recall 95% of a movie, that really only speaks to memorization... However, having a good analytical mind capable of forming profound or interesting views on a topic is what impresses me...However, I think really anyone is capable of this as long as they are well informed on the subject. I see people everyday in school who really want to put out the appearence of intelligence but when you talk to them and all they're capable of doing is recalling things they have read or heard in lecture without any original though, that really doesnt impress me in the least. Just like the parrots who are on the boards regurgitating the information they have "heard."

There is a very fine line however, because we do grade intelligence on mastery of a particular subject...However, memorizing a bunch of shit which you actually do not understand is a different story..Im sure you know what Im talking about...

One of the signs of a high IQ is having that kind of recall

[Carlos_E]

Maybe its an insecurity or jealousy issue, but this kid helped me change my tire last semester because my jack broke. He was a complete stranger at the time and was totally cool.
Dude said it he was graduating. Than hes in one of my classes this semester? Im like dude "whats up, i thought you were graduating?" and he said he did and that he was in grad school now.

Anyway, this kid turns out to be a FVCKING genious. Im serious, we watched a vid in class and his factual recall had to be around 95%. Like he remembered almost EVERY detail of the movie.
Im thinking "ok dude had to see it before" (tuskegee documentary.. which really isnt popular)
Sometimes when he starts talking the teacher will let him rant because his insights on everything are really profound and hes always got something to say that no one thought of. Today he got into a debate with the teacher (who is no idiot herself) and OWNED THE SHIT OUT OF HER.

So now, involuntarily, I HATE the kid. Everytime he opens his mouth I just wanna say something (even if its dumb) just to make him look like a fool. NOONE can win with him in a debate. He doesnt offend anyone, he just literally knows EVERYTHING.

I consider myself a pretty mature person, but if there is one thing that intimidates me and makes me feel like an angry little homicidal boy, its someone who is smarter than me and makes it obvious without trying.
Looks, size, shape, and strength have no affect on me. But I got real issues with this part of my psych for some reason.. I fvcking HATE smart people.

You sound like you have a crush. Is he cute? You should ask him on a date.

1 + 2 = 6.

[odix]

why hate on smart people, if you say he knows everything why not learn from him. too me people that don't like smart people are JEALOUS. I mean come on, give the guy a break, he helped fix your ****ing car. Agreed I don't like people who are open mouthed and think they're smart, but if he can't lost argument for valid reasons, then learn to love him, cause you'll be working for him someday. hahaha

[spywizard]

I'm sorry, i didnt' realize i was making you feel so uncomfortable.

[odix]

hahaha ^

[paulzane]

The art of being clever is not appearing too clever!!

[J.S.N.]

it's spelled "genius," genius.

naw just effin' wif ya dogg.

[QuieTSToRM33]

[DSM4Life]

Hope this helps you and the "stranger."

How To Deal With an Insecure Lover or an Overly Jealousy Husband/Wife?
Much of the advice on this page is drawn from work of Bowlby, Ainsworth, Shaver and Hazan’s work on attachment theory (see, Romantic Attachments).

Trying to date or live with an overly jealous romantic partner can be a nightmare. An insecure partner can be intrusive, invasive, irritating and annoying. In many cases, dealing with an extremely jealous individual often turns out to be a low output, high maintenance, activity.

But if you want to deal with an insecure lover effectively, it helps to understand the nature of the problem. For the most part, chronic jealousy has been tied to Anxious-Attachment. Such individuals are constantly worried that their romantic partners truly do not love them and that their partners will eventually leave the relationship. Ironically, extremely jealous individuals often behave in ways that make their fears come true.

Ineffective Ways of Dealing with a Jealous Partner

For the most part, people handle an overly insecure partner in ways that make the problem worse. When a partner is jealous they often behave in ways that are controlling, manipulative, invasive and overly needy (see, Overcoming Jealousy).

When partners or spouses behave this way, the natural response is to pull back, withdrawal, and reassert one’s autonomy and independence, which usual involves some secrecy and deception (see, When Lovers Lie and Pros/Cons of Lying). For instance, if a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, calls ten times a day checking to see what you might be up to, the natural response is to avoid such calls, returning them less often, and being secretive and evasive when answering such questions. Again, it is normal to try to hide things from partners who are overly inquisitive or from partners who deal poorly when the truth is told (see, When People Lie). And jealous individuals tend to do both – ask invasive questions and respond poorly when told the truth.

The problem, however, with using secrecy and withdrawal to deal with a jealous partner, is that such responses only create more anxiety, insecurity and fear on the part of the individual who is already suspicious and jealous. As a result, jealous individuals act in ways that are even more disruptive (i.e., more phone calls, snooping, invasive questions, pouting, and so on).

And if this pattern takes hold, jealous individuals become more jealous while their partners begin to hide and conceal more of their activities, thoughts and feelings. Over time this pattern of behavior can become a source of conflict – pulling many couples even further apart. And if this pattern is not broken, partners often turn to someone outside the relationship for love and understanding - which are missing at home.

How to Deal with a Jealous Lover

A better way to deal with an insecure and overly suspicious partner is to deal with their fears and anxieties directly.

Talk to a Partner about their Fears and Anxieties

It helps to let a jealous partner know that he or she can talk to you about his or her feelings; that you will listen to a partner’s fears and anxieties and try to understand where he or she is coming from.

Try not to dismiss or discount jealous partner’s feelings (i.e., “Not that again… You are crazy… Where is this coming from?”). Discounting a spouse’s feelings only makes that person feel more misunderstood and it does not help solve the problem. On the other hand, there are many benefits to be gained if you can get a jealous lover to talk about his or her feelings and make sure that he or she feels understood (see, Talk About Problems). People who are able to talk about their feelings and problems, in a supportive environment, often move beyond such feelings and worries more effectively.

Be Available and Responsive

It is also important to be available and responsive to a jealous partner’s needs (see Romantic Attachments). If you are there when you partner or lover needs you (i.e., you answer the phone), doing so helps to calm a partner down. If you consistently demonstrate to an insecure partner that you can be counted on, over time a jealous partner will become more trusting and less suspicious. This is not easy to do, because it takes a lot of energy and often you will have to resist the urge to withdraw from an overly demanding husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

Reassure a Jealous Partner

It also helps to consistently remind an overly jealous partner that you love him or her, that you will be there, and that you will work through problems together.

Finally, it helps to keep in mind that while it is possible to help an insecure lover become more secure, such changes do not happen over night. It helps to think about dealing with such problems in terms of months and perhaps years, not days and weeks.

You can also take a look at people who are having a difficult time dealing with their partner's jealousy (see, Partner's Jealousy).

To see more responses to common questions:

More answers to general questions about deception, love and romance.
Or do you have a general question you'd like to ask?

Use our Common Questions feature.
For relationship advice about a specific problem:

Please see our Ask an Expert section - issues also listed by a tag cloud.
Truth About Deception - Back to our home page.

[Shane35aa]

Smart people don't bother me, figure I can learn something from them. Its the Dumba$$es who think they are smart and waste my time that piss me off

[*Narkissos*]

Maybe its an insecurity or jealousy issue, but this kid helped me change my tire last semester because my jack broke. He was a complete stranger at the time and was totally cool.
Dude said it he was graduating. Than hes in one of my classes this semester? Im like dude "whats up, i thought you were graduating?" and he said he did and that he was in grad school now.

Anyway, this kid turns out to be a FVCKING genious. Im serious, we watched a vid in class and his factual recall had to be around 95%. Like he remembered almost EVERY detail of the movie.
Im thinking "ok dude had to see it before" (tuskegee documentary.. which really isnt popular)
Sometimes when he starts talking the teacher will let him rant because his insights on everything are really profound and hes always got something to say that no one thought of. Today he got into a debate with the teacher (who is no idiot herself) and OWNED THE SHIT OUT OF HER.

So now, involuntarily, I HATE the kid. Everytime he opens his mouth I just wanna say something (even if its dumb) just to make him look like a fool. NOONE can win with him in a debate. He doesnt offend anyone, he just literally knows EVERYTHING.

I consider myself a pretty mature person, but if there is one thing that intimidates me and makes me feel like an angry little homicidal boy, its someone who is smarter than me and makes it obvious without trying.
Looks, size, shape, and strength have no affect on me. But I got real issues with this part of my psych for some reason.. I fvcking HATE smart people.

Is he informed on every subject?

Or just specific areas?

Cus i've been ostracized most of my life for the above...

And it isn't because i've tried to impress anyone.. but because i honestly love certain subject areas.

Like my undergrad psych classes... People see a muscle-dude when i walk in. And then i open my mouth and the class is mine. Abnormal psych. for example, the lecturer asked me why i didn't change my major so i could do that for a living.

I think passion can be misconstrued... and he may be a pretty lonely individual.

I've had people say they don't want to raise debates with me because they feel stupid afterwards... so i'm 98% sure that if he's like this with every subject area... and humble at that, he's pretty lonely.

His recall is amazing tho..

What course was the documentary used in?

[*Narkissos*]

Smart people don't bother me, figure I can learn something from them. Its the Dumba$$es who think they are smart and waste my time that piss me off

Yea.

I had the express pleasure of working with one last semester for a group project worth 40% of my end of semester grade.

Needless to say... i, and the rest of the group, nearly failed the course.

I had to take over 1/2 of the group at the very last minute...and our combined efforts got us 21%/40%.

The Final exam was horrendous.

That 40% would've gone a long way.

A perceivable B/B+ faded quickly to a D.

[big L 17]

i like smart people but i hate it when the belittle you and make you fell like a jackass and stupid.but i would probly do the same if i was that smart

[bigbouncinballs]

we got a lot of really intelligent people in law school, just makes me more competitive. If they're smarter, i work harder.

[bigbouncinballs]

or get em in my study group!!

[Kärnfysikern]

I guess I can get jelous. But cant say I would hate someone realy smart. I try to team up and study with the best in my classes and I usualy feel I can keep up with them. If they happen to be brighter or better I just learn more and work harder.

[Schmidty]

Maybe its an insecurity or jealousy issue, but this kid helped me change my tire last semester because my jack broke. He was a complete stranger at the time and was totally cool.
Dude said it he was graduating. Than hes in one of my classes this semester? Im like dude "whats up, i thought you were graduating?" and he said he did and that he was in grad school now.

Anyway, this kid turns out to be a FVCKING genious. Im serious, we watched a vid in class and his factual recall had to be around 95%. Like he remembered almost EVERY detail of the movie.
Im thinking "ok dude had to see it before" (tuskegee documentary.. which really isnt popular)
Sometimes when he starts talking the teacher will let him rant because his insights on everything are really profound and hes always got something to say that no one thought of. Today he got into a debate with the teacher (who is no idiot herself) and OWNED THE SHIT OUT OF HER.

So now, involuntarily, I HATE the kid. Everytime he opens his mouth I just wanna say something (even if its dumb) just to make him look like a fool. NOONE can win with him in a debate. He doesnt offend anyone, he just literally knows EVERYTHING.

I consider myself a pretty mature person, but if there is one thing that intimidates me and makes me feel like an angry little homicidal boy, its someone who is smarter than me and makes it obvious without trying.
Looks, size, shape, and strength have no affect on me. But I got real issues with this part of my psych for some reason.. I fvcking HATE smart people.

Hey that guy is me. I cant help how smart I am.LOL

[Schmidty]

He sounds pretty cool. He helped you when your jack was broke and he didnt even know you.

[Property of Steroid.com]

One of the signs of a high IQ is having that kind of recall

I would argue that the primary sign of a high IQ is something like that. I'm more impressed with creativity over IQ though, for the most part...

[Bojangles69]

Ok so update. The professor is giving us the exact review for our first exam via power point. And I notice EVERYBODY in the class is writing down the review except this kid.
So I laughed inside as I felt myself getting increasingly agitated by this kid.
I HAD to say something, ANYTHING. So I leaned over and was like "your not taking notes for the exam?"
Dude says "its all upstairs"
I was like "you must be either really confident, or really arrogant, but Id like to personally see how you do on this exam".
He said "i have an excellent memory, i can memorize "anything", and moreso when I do study I actually do worse because I get myself nervous for the exam"
I was like (and was sure to say it a bit louder so everyone else heard)
"wait.. did you just say if you STUDY you'll do *WORSE*? In my entire life I've never heard somebody say such a thing before, you know how irrational that sounds right? I mean logically it makes no sense".
He's like "well logic or not, its reality, and like I said, Its all in my head."
I gave him a completely blank ambigous face so he could interpret it however he wanted, but at that moment I was thinking "i hate this fvcking kid" (meanwhile it seems like all the chicks are digging him which I expected because hes extremely cocky but tries to hide it, and I know chicks cant resist it)
But w/e. Exams tommorow, I'm gonna try to see what he gets. Call me a dick but my goal is to have everyone in the class despising this kid by the end of the term. People would say "be the better guy". It always sounds sweet but we all know it doesnt work.
I think this kid is a crock of arrogant shit, and Im gonna exploit him to the world the second he tries to get slick with me.

[STYLE74]

I respect people who are REAL and people who are respectful towards me. I don't care how smart or dumb someone is or how much they know about a certain subject. I am not the smartest person when it comes to history and grammar and things like that but I have plenty of street smarts and for me that is most important in the real world. And big L it's not ok for people to belittle no matter how smart they are. People should be humble and always treat all people with the same respect. There are many people out there that haven't been delt the best hands in life and who are we to judge.

[Kärnfysikern]

What kind of class is it?

[Bojangles69]

Is he informed on every subject?

Or just specific areas?

Cus i've been ostracized most of my life for the above...

And it isn't because i've tried to impress anyone.. but because i honestly love certain subject areas.

Like my undergrad psych classes... People see a muscle-dude when i walk in. And then i open my mouth and the class is mine. Abnormal psych. for example, the lecturer asked me why i didn't change my major so i could do that for a living.

I think passion can be misconstrued... and he may be a pretty lonely individual.

I've had people say they don't want to raise debates with me because they feel stupid afterwards... so i'm 98% sure that if he's like this with every subject area... and humble at that, he's pretty lonely.

His recall is amazing tho..

What course was the documentary used in?

Yeh he actually graduated as an english major and said he liked psych so much that now hes in grad school for it.
You raise some good points about the lonely idea because all though he seems content I sort of suspect a needy and sorta hidden desperate element to him.

His knowledge seems broad, it just seems like hes got one of those minds that everything and anything sticks to.. and stays. To top it off hes an excellent communicator, I notice however sometimes people are such good communicators that they can seduce an audience and have them interpreting things in a way thats been set up by the dominant person, which can lead to them creating crowds of people with highly irrational beliefs (eg. hitler).

My main issue with him is EVERYTHING with this kid is about *what he knows*, and how he shows the world what he knows. He never smiles at other peoples jokes, he cuts people off midspeech, hes just one of those real snakey, slick, and smart aggresive people. He's a status seeker, and has a lot as it is.

Our mothers teach us to be *nice, and how to be good husbands. They dont tell us the truth, that sometimes this world can be just one huge competetive rat race, and sometimes you need to have that "dirty edge" to get ahead in life.

I say thats fine, but if you rise to the top by pushing others down your scum in my book, and thats just the type of person he seems like. I always help people when I can, I realize any gifts we've been born with are to be shared with others so they can share what they have with us, not to use what we got to get over on people. I dont know, Id record a class discussion if it was legal but I think there might be some implications taking that route. It really seems like a reality show, would be cool if you people could see it.

[Bojangles69]

What kind of class is it?

Research Methods/APA Format

[Bojangles69]

I respect people who are REAL and people who are respectful towards me. I don't care how smart or dumb someone is or how much they know about a certain subject. I am not the smartest person when it comes to history and grammar and things like that but I have plenty of street smarts and for me that is most important in the real world. And big L it's not ok for people to belittle no matter how smart they are. People should be humble and always treat all people with the same respect. There are many people out there that haven't been delt the best hands in life and who are we to judge.

EXACTLY.

[Property of Steroid.com]

Ok so update. The professor is giving us the exact review for our first exam via power point. And I notice EVERYBODY in the class is writing down the review except this kid.
So I laughed inside as I felt myself getting increasingly agitated by this kid.
I HAD to say something, ANYTHING. So I leaned over and was like "your not taking notes for the exam?"
Dude says "its all upstairs"
I was like "you must be either really confident, or really arrogant, but Id like to personally see how you do on this exam".
He said "i have an excellent memory, i can memorize "anything", and moreso when I do study I actually do worse because I get myself nervous for the exam"
I was like (and was sure to say it a bit louder so everyone else heard)
"wait.. did you just say if you STUDY you'll do *WORSE*? In my entire life I've never heard somebody say such a thing before, you know how irrational that sounds right? I mean logically it makes no sense".
He's like "well logic or not, its reality, and like I said, Its all in my head."
I gave him a completely blank ambigous face so he could interpret it however he wanted, but at that moment I was thinking "i hate this fvcking kid" (meanwhile it seems like all the chicks are digging him which I expected because hes extremely cocky but tries to hide it, and I know chicks cant resist it)
But w/e. Exams tommorow, I'm gonna try to see what he gets. Call me a dick but my goal is to have everyone in the class despising this kid by the end of the term. People would say "be the better guy". It always sounds sweet but we all know it doesnt work.
I think this kid is a crock of arrogant shit, and Im gonna exploit him to the world the second he tries to get slick with me.

That was me when I was at University. But the thing is, I'm dyslexic, so taking notes actually doesn't help me...because most of the time I write things down incorrectly. During my whole 5 years in college, I didn't take enough notes to fill a single one subject notebook. I graduated with around a B average, and never studied. You never know this kids situation....he could have a great memory, and any one of a dozen learning disabilities (which was my situation).

[Bojangles69]

That was me when I was at University. But the thing is, I'm dyslexic, so taking notes actually doesn't help me...because most of the time I write things down incorrectly. During my whole 5 years in college, I didn't take enough notes to fill a single one subject notebook. I graduated with around a B average, and never studied. You never know this kids situation....he could have a great memory, and any one of a dozen learning disabilities (which was my situation).

OMG. Thats insane, because now that I think about it that way I dont see him write ANYTHING. As an undergrad psych student I should be open to possibilities like that but when someone shows you one side of thier persona its hard not to assume the rest of them is similiar to a degree.
But I can see how if he did have such a problem hed have to learn how to compensate through memory. You do raise an excellent point, and this is something I will now be looking for everytime I have class with the kid. I cant believe you got a B average without studying though, if I dont study for hours on end I fail everything, but Im just different I guess.

[Bojangles69]

As a sidenote, wouldnt that affect your typing skills too? Or has it gotten better since then?

[Kärnfysikern]

Great memory doesnt make a genious.

Einstein once said that he doesnt memorize anything that he can look up within a few minutes.