Never thought it this would happen to me...

[B.E.N.]

She came to me in tears with the ultrasound pictures. I never know what that ton of bricks expression meant until then.

Some of you older guys (28, 29, 30=) give em some kind of advice or anything...

I totally am not ready for this emotionally or financially. I love the girl but she know about this for two months or more and kept it a secret. I am trying not to get pissed at her about that but it is hard. She is now four months from the DATE and I just found out. I mean I could have used those two and a half months to better prepared myself. I would not have made some of the purchases I did for one. Hell she watched me make those purchases and said nothing!

Man I am also scared to no end about the fact that I just finished a small cycle. AND she was on the pill. AND she kept taking the pill for 2 months or more before she found out.

I always planned on feed my wife brocolli shakes and multivitamins on the regular...now it feels like is all half assed. I would be sick and probably suicidal if I had a child that had mental or physical problems because of all of that.

It just seems like if anything could go wrong or FUBAR with this it has.

P.S. Smart a s s comments are not needed...

[Lexed]

You being on a cycle wont affect anything........ I just looked online if she wanst overdosing on the pills then the baby should be ok. Btw congrats

[Lexed]

I would recommend though just incase call the birth control pill company she was using and ask just to be sure if there would be any complications

[scottish]

It'll be a walk in the park. Just breathe, and enjoy it..

[PEWN]

dont look at it as a neg..... this will be a glorious moment in your life....

[goodcents]

[QUOTE=B.E.N.]She came to me in tears with the ultrasound pictures. I never know what that ton of bricks expression meant until then.

Some of you older guys (28, 29, 30=) give em some kind of advice or anything...

I totally am not ready for this emotionally or financially. I love the girl but she know about this for two months or more and kept it a secret. I am trying not to get pissed at her about that but it is hard. She is now four months from the DATE and I just found out. I mean I could have used those two and a half months to better prepared myself. I would not have made some of the purchases I did for one. Hell she watched me make those purchases and said nothing!

Man I am also scared to no end about the fact that I just finished a small cycle. AND she was on the pill. AND she kept taking the pill for 2 months or more before she found out.

I always planned on feed my wife brocolli shakes and multivitamins on the regular...now it feels like is all half assed. I would be sick and probably suicidal if I had a child that had mental or physical problems because of all of that.

It just seems like if anything could go wrong or FUBAR with this it has.

P.S. Smart a s s comments are not needed...[/QUOTE]


Damn it I was just about to post

I was about to say "a moment of silence for ben"

[RA]

Congrats bro. You need to be there for her and let her know its going to be ok.


Congrats again papa

[B.E.N.]

Son of b i t c h s h i t...it is a girl. I am royal screwed. I have three younger brothers...and four cousins....all boys. I have no idea what to do about a girl.

GOD is lau***ng at me! Pay back for all those daughters that I sent home crying back in the day.

I lost 4+ pounds in the past week and feel softer than ever. I think I am sweating cortisol at this point.

[5ifthCitizen]

i can imagine i would feel the same as u if i were in that position. but im sure as you get used to the idea that you will feel more comfortable about it. if u think about, its probably the biggest change of ur entire life so obviously you're going to be freaked out, anybody would be. i feel u on being mad about her not telling u especially since u made those purchases with her watching but u might have to think about what she was thinking about, maybe she was thinking it may not be true or she may not continue with it or she was just scared, after all she's the one with a living human inside her. the doctor should be able to tell u whether everything seems ok with her (ur kid). women on birth control get pregnant all the time man. its probably ok. congratulations, im sure you will feel better about it in time...

[sphincter]

IMO, she's a shady bitch for knowing and not telling you for so long. a good friend of mine was in the same situation only she let him take her to Hawaii, they smoked weed nearly daily and she was ridin-tha-white-line at least weekly... for 4 months until she finally told him. He made her mom pay to send her to another state where late term abortions were legal and ended that B.S. asap. then he dumped her for being untrustworthy and generally a P.O.S. of a person for doing that to the baby for 4 months and then telling him after (she thought) it was too late to do anythign about it...

Not that your situation is quite as bad but IMO trust is 190% of what makes a relationship work and if there's not enough trust in the relationship to get this out in the open sooner than 3-4 months, then that speaks volumes about your relationship and this girl IMO.. Good luck with whatever you do but IMO, I'd be very very upset with old girl...

[5ifthCitizen]

^^^ this is true. that was a far more fvcked up girl tho.

[Expat]

It is what it is....and as the old saying goes..."you are where you are supposed be"...I know it is not comforting what I just said...and I am not saying smartass remarks sweetheart...Good Luck on your decisions...and try to be civil w/her...for the baby's sake....It's really is not about u at this point....and this is what is forgotton

[dupa95]

It is what it is....and as the old saying goes..."you are where you are supposed be"...I know it is not comforting what I just said...and I am not saying smartass remarks sweetheart...Good Luck on your decisions...and try to be civil w/her...for the baby's sake....It's really is not about u at this point....and this is what is forgotton

Good call you guna be a dad how cool is that. Your life is about to change for the better. Congrats bro!

[RuhlFreak55]

sorry i'd be ****in pissed as hell......now that she's finally gotten any hope of an abortion out of the picture she tells you...and that's just selfish, especially when you don't think you're set financially to handle the burden? i have no idea what i'd do in this situation......luckily however, finances wont ever be a problem for me.....good luck man....

[Odpierdol_sie!]

Join the club, i was thinking the same thing a few weeks ago.
I have coe round to the idea now, and got use to it, and am looking forward to father hood now.
if you love here, then it will work out mate. Money is not the realy factor to happines.
Congrats, keep cool, and good luck.

[RuhlFreak55]

ummm money IS the main factor for happiness...it's the means by which you can do everything else you want to in your life

[dhriscerr]

Son of b i t c h s h i t...it is a girl. I am royal screwed. I have three younger brothers...and four cousins....all boys. I have no idea what to do about a girl.

GOD is lau***ng at me! Pay back for all those daughters that I sent home crying back in the day.

I lost 4+ pounds in the past week and feel softer than ever. I think I am sweating cortisol at this point.

I got my wife pregnant while I was on cycle and she was on the pill and she took it for 4 more weeks. She is due the 10th but already dialated 4cm's so It will probably be soon. I have a girl now and our next one is a girl too. Im 23 just working on college now from the Marines, my wife has no college and works as a loan officer consultant at a bank we don't make great money at all but, we are happy as hell and you will love your child!

[jojo2002]

congrats bro im 23 and i have a 16 month year old i was freaked out like no other i was going to school doing it all... talked about abortion but now that i have her my daughter NEVER will abortion come into a conversation.. Financially.. bro have lots and lots of babyshowers ask for clothes and diapers that will last you 2 years lol... Money comes and goes you well be fine... YOU will find a way to make it work.. I did and i love my life even more..... good luck... apperciate everything...

[goodcents]

I'm 34 and have no kidswent through that phase where I wanted one in mid 20's, I'm so fuking glad I beat the bulletWife divorcing me, taking kids, moving in w/ garbage, yeah I beat all that bullshlt

[goodcents]

single w/ no kids and no serious relationship, yeah I guess I don't know what I'm missing

[sphincter]

i have no idea what i'd do in this situation......luckily however, finances wont ever be a problem for me.....good luck man....

wow.. can I be your assistant or manage a project for you or something?? I'd LOVE to have money "not ever be a problem" for me too!!! I'm an intelligent, hard worker with great drive

[DaddyB]

Having kids has been the greatest thing to happen in my life! You can't blame her for not telling you, you never know what was going through her mind. Not being financially stable can be a good thing at first. There are so many government programs that will pay for everything.

I had my son when I was twenty two and my life has been better ever since. Congratulations and Good Luck,
DB

[Odpierdol_sie!]

ummm money IS the main factor for happiness...it's the means by which you can do everything else you want to in your life

depending on what you want to do.

I earn a considereable amount, compared to say some lil fisherman in the bahamas.
i know where i would rather be, but you think that lil fisher man would trade places???

Money is not the be all and end all. if you fall in to this capatalist lifestyle where your life is govorned by how much you earn then you are never going to be trully happy no matter how fat your wallet gets.

[RuhlFreak55]

depending on what you want to do.

I earn a considereable amount, compared to say some lil fisherman in the bahamas.
i know where i would rather be, but you think that lil fisher man would trade places???

Money is not the be all and end all. if you fall in to this capatalist lifestyle where your life is govorned by how much you earn then you are never going to be trully happy no matter how fat your wallet gets.

rofl ok whatever......if i can buy a house in the bahamas AND do everything else i think i trump the fisherman....capitalism is the spice of life

[gixxerboy1]

rofl ok whatever......if i can buy a house in the bahamas AND do everything else i think i trump the fisherman....capitalism is the spice of life

I agree. ask anyone what they would like to do in there life. travel, fancy car, beach homes anything....... Whats the reason they dont do it? $$$$$$

[Odpierdol_sie!]

So what you are saying is, poor people cant be happy.

[RuhlFreak55]

I agree. ask anyone what they would like to do in there life. travel, fancy car, beach homes anything....... Whats the reason they dont do it? $$$$$$

yep....so bottom line.....find easy ways to make money...multiple streams of income etc.....then live you're life as you've envisioned it

[gixxerboy1]

So what you are saying is, poor people cant be happy.

Not saying that. I'm sure your family and other things can make you happy. But just think. Take that same poor happy family. Stick them in a nice beach house a few nice cars in the driveway and no stress of not having $$$. Think they would be happier?

[Odpierdol_sie!]

I agree. ask anyone what they would like to do in there life. travel, fancy car, beach homes anything....... Whats the reason they dont do it? $$$$$$

yes what you are drawing on here is that the people who want this are the ones who are grossly involved in the capitalist lifstyle also known as the rat race.

i think what you are forgetting is not everybody wants that lifstyle.

cars? as far as i care shove em up ur ass.
beach house? beaches are for building sand castles inthe summer.
travel? many man traveled with a ruck sack and some loose change even more traveled with less

[Odpierdol_sie!]

Not saying that. I'm sure your family and other things can make you happy. But just think. Take that same poor happy family. Stick them in a nice beach house a few nice cars in the driveway and no stress of not having $$$. Think they would be happier?

yes i know what you are saying and yes it is valid, but note everyone thinks like that.

I think the major fact here that has been missed is veriety is the spice of life

[Odpierdol_sie!]

people get wrapped up in shit they dont need, flash cars, big houses, etc.
like my mum n dad are on abotu moving house. i asked what they are looking for, they siad a 3 bedroom etc, im like what the hell for? there is only 2 of you? what you gonna do with 3 bedrooms??

Im not a fan of flash cars either, yeah the idea is nice, but at the end of the day it is only something to get bored of including wasting a shed load of hard earned money in the process

[gixxerboy1]

Not everyone may want the extremes. I agree.But your poor family may be much happier with a new Toyota mini van. Or central air in the summer. Some new clothes instead of hammy downs, affording to be able to go out to eat once a week. You get my point.

Honestly more money will make anyone happier. Even if just enough money so you dont have to struggle monthly

[RuhlFreak55]

So what you are saying is, poor people cant be happy.

i'm definately saying that....like he said.....take that same family and give them a big house and some cars and the comfort of not having to worry about money and they'll be much more happy...period...that's the world we live in...like it or not...you can try to rationalize that you'd be happy all you want....but there are things required for happiness in my opinion that are bought with money....

[RuhlFreak55]

people get wrapped up in shit they dont need, flash cars, big houses, etc.
like my mum n dad are on abotu moving house. i asked what they are looking for, they siad a 3 bedroom etc, im like what the hell for? there is only 2 of you? what you gonna do with 3 bedrooms??

Im not a fan of flash cars either, yeah the idea is nice, but at the end of the day it is only something to get bored of including wasting a shed load of hard earned money in the process

well see there are millions of ways to make money where it's not "hard earned" making money is easy......"money comes easily and frequently" have that attitude and you'll always have what you require

[Odpierdol_sie!]

see like the car im running at the moment i got for using to go to work, i got a 1.7 tdi basically coz it is an Izuzu engine and is built to run on practiaclly anything, like tanks are. so i run the ****er on Vegatable oil, inteh Uk 50p a liter 50% less than the derv that it is meant to run on. why shoudl i put money back in to the corporate machine.

all i am saying is where tehr eare means.

but since running this, im like, why get a car that does 12miles on 5 pound when i can have a car that does 100 miles on 5 pound??

it all boils down th what you need and what you want.
befoer having this complete shed i was on the ding dong abotu buying a TVR, glad i ditn now.

[RuhlFreak55]

Not everyone may want the extremes. I agree.But your poor family may be much happier with a new Toyota mini van. Or central air in the summer. Some new clothes instead of hammy downs, affording to be able to go out to eat once a week. You get my point.

Honestly more money will make anyone happier. Even if just enough money so you dont have to struggle monthly

exactly....and oh btw....lol if no one knew....i want the extremes

[Odpierdol_sie!]

well see there are millions of ways to make money where it's not "hard earned" making money is easy......"money comes easily and frequently" have that attitude and you'll always have what you require

For me my money comes easy, i dont work hard for it at all.

Peopl say to me, wow you got loads of time off, you should get a trade, im liek why? so you can do some part time in london, you will be loaded then. im like, nah id ratehr stay at home with the dog and my pregnant gf.

I work 4 on 4 off, why should i do part time in my 4 off?

this is the trap people fall in to.

my old man says the same, im like nah, a job aint nothign but work, i got enough to put food on the table, and plenty left for what i need, and enough for what i dont.

with more money comes more responsability,

here is a real tiem example

the congestion charge in london

curently £7 per day
if you live within the area you get a reduced rate of 90%

now the proposed change about to be brought in is..
if you have a car that emits large amounts of carbon, namley a Range Rover, or somethign above 3000cc. then you are going to have to pay £25 per day
for the people who live in teh area ther eis no reduced rate at all.

now all teh toffs are up in arms about it why shoudl i have to pay more etc blah blah blah? any ideas?

[B.E.N.]

Thanks for all the positive comments and letting me whine. We talked and it does not sound that bad anymore. Just hit me like a ton of bricks at the time! All I could see was all my big boy toys going out the window and not having an crazy fun anymore. We had always talked about not having kids until my business was really taking off. Being a finance grad and having a job where you have no idea what you are going to make each quarter stress this cat out. Putting food on the table was not an issue…I was being selfish and worried about buy a bigger house and more toys. Just have to step up the game and play like an adult now.

Ruhl my man...I am sorry but I have to call bull on your money thing. Just a while back you were ranting about how you were unhappy and this and that. Apparently, whatever money you think you have ain’t getting it done. Not flaming just saying you might want to revaluate things. I am not sure how old you are but you mentioned being in college…I can relate to your mind set when I was in school. Hell until all this I thought I was not going to do this kid thing until I had game like monopoly.

Situation makes you reconsider what you are doing that is for sure! I am 28 and have a beautiful house in an upper class neighborhood but somehow it never seemed liked enough until something like this brings your priorities right back to the front door.

Like they say, ‘You make plans and God laughs.’

Again, always to have peeps pick you up like they do on here.

[RuhlFreak55]

Like they say, ‘You make plans and God laughs.’

well since i believe that each person makes his/her own reality in totality there is no god lau***ng at the plans i make....only the universe coming together to make my plans reality

[RuhlFreak55]

curently £7 per day
if you live within the area you get a reduced rate of 90%

now the proposed change about to be brought in is..
if you have a car that emits large amounts of carbon, namley a Range Rover, or somethign above 3000cc. then you are going to have to pay £25 per day
for the people who live in teh area ther eis no reduced rate at all.

now all teh toffs are up in arms about it why shoudl i have to pay more etc blah blah blah? any ideas?

all this means is that i shouldn't move to england?