I guess I'm in a relationship (tips plz)

[Voland]

So i finally went to the date on wensday. And i anihilated my best personal record with this 14 hours date. I've also spent this morning with her and I'm having lunch with her tomorrow. I pretty much be spending every day with her until she starts studing at the end of the moths. Shes a nice and sweet girl but I can't spend so many hours each day that's too absorbant. I'll try and make it 2/3 hours day max. So far so good. Thats sounds about normal.

BUT there are some things i need advice on...
So she is totally fine with me BUT she's is starting to grow sniffy/weirded.
The reason for this is because she hasnt seen my place yet. This is something I've really been avoiding. She can't see my place yet or everything will end. volaverunt! Until now my excuses sorta worked out but i can't hold that for ever.

The second thing is my friends. This are my best friends who are brothers to me. I can't keep the relation secret to them and she'll eventually want to know my bros i cant keep her form knowing them either. Once again that can't happen yet. How do I keep that from happening?

Other than that lets see how this continues. Up until now its good.

[DSM4Life]

she's is starting to grow .

Thats what 13 year olds do

[0tolerance]

my advice..
err half tell her the truth about why you dont want her to come to your house..
give her like part truth or lie..
just tell her your ashamed of where u live or some crap.

and with the best friends... uhh thats gonna be hard, usually id say bro's before hoes.
But it depends on what your thinking..
Id just toss the idea around with them jokingly and see what they say.

[ghettoboyd]

it would help if we knew this super secret reason why she cant come to your place.is it a slum,whould she see your gear.is there a one eyed one tailed brown purple people eater there. some detail might help.just dont incriminate your self if its BADDDDDDDD.

[calgarian]

So i finally went to the date on wensday. And i anihilated my best personal record with this 14 hours date. I've also spent this morning with her and I'm having lunch with her tomorrow. I pretty much be spending every day with her until she starts studing at the end of the moths. Shes a nice and sweet girl but I can't spend so many hours each day that's too absorbant. I'll try and make it 2/3 hours day max. So far so good. Thats sounds about normal.

BUT there are some things i need advice on...
So she is totally fine with me BUT she's is starting to grow sniffy/weirded.
The reason for this is because she hasnt seen my place yet. This is something I've really been avoiding. She can't see my place yet or everything will end. volaverunt! Until now my excuses sorta worked out but i can't hold that for ever.

The second thing is my friends. This are my best friends who are brothers to me. I can't keep the relation secret to them and she'll eventually want to know my bros i cant keep her form knowing them either. Once again that can't happen yet. How do I keep that from happening?

Other than that lets see how this continues. Up until now its good.

Could you explain why u dont want her to see your place and meet ur best friends?

[Dukkit]

yea im lost? why cant she see your place or meet your friends?

i must of missed a previous post by you.

[smokeyd]

you got girls tied up in your apartment or something?

[calgarian]

I think he has best friends like mine. I wouldnt want any girl to meet with them either....oh my best friends are

Dukki
Inky-e
mex
max
skully
smokey

Can u blame me...

[Dukkit]

I think he has best friends like mine. I wouldnt want any girl to meet with them either....oh my best friends are

Dukki
Inky-e
mex
max
skully
smokey

Can u blame me...

that does make sense

[Voland]

ok...here is the thing...the girl is black (although his dad is white). I never though of my self dating a non-white. So lets put it this way...my decoration could be found offensive by her, most probably. Happens exactly the same with my bro's. I mean they will support me because we have this agreement that anything that makes anyone of us happy is worth it but still the fact they are ok with it doesn't mean that she will be ok with them for the same exact reason.

[Dukkit]

ok...here is the thing...the girl is black (although his dad is white). I never though of my self dating a non-white. So lets put it this way...my decoration could be found offensive by her, most probably. Happens exactly the same with my bro's. I mean they will support me because we have this agreement that anything that makes anyone of us happy is worth it but still the fact they are ok with it doesn't mean that she will be ok with them for the same exact reason.

ahhh, i see. so why not take some decorations down and just tell your friends your fukkin a black chick.

its 2008 for christ sakes!! if they cant accept it.. then you guys are more retarded then can be helped

[X1nn3R]

ok...here is the thing...the girl is black (although his dad is white). I never though of my self dating a non-white. So lets put it this way...my decoration could be found offensive by her, most probably. Happens exactly the same with my bro's. I mean they will support me because we have this agreement that anything that makes anyone of us happy is worth it but still the fact they are ok with it doesn't mean that she will be ok with them for the same exact reason.

if i was dating a transvestite i wouldnt bring it around my friends either........... lol jk man

[calgarian]

ok...here is the thing...the girl is black (although his dad is white). I never though of my self dating a non-white. So lets put it this way...my decoration could be found offensive by her, most probably. Happens exactly the same with my bro's. I mean they will support me because we have this agreement that anything that makes anyone of us happy is worth it but still the fact they are ok with it doesn't mean that she will be ok with them for the same exact reason.

I was going to say the same thing what dukki said. It is 2008. And if she makes you happy (in bed or otherwise) why does it matter? Just a work of advise it is your life dont let other people make decision for you. Last time I check black, browns(myself), chinese all have red blood and same body parts why treat them differently.

[RuhlFreak55]

I think he has best friends like mine. I wouldnt want any girl to meet with them either....oh my best friends are

Dukki
Inky-e
mex
max
skully
smokey

Can u blame me...

[calgarian]

oh stop crying...u baby The reason I didnt include u is you wouldnt know if a naked girl goes in front of you...

I am joking.

[Voland]

I get your point calgarian and dukki. I agree i fact.
I also understand this kind of situations may be very common in US or Canada or so. But they are not an everyday thing here.
As i told you they would be ok with it, they won't mind. She's been ok with my tattoos which are also explicit, so perhaps she can be fine with my friends tattoos and t-shirts. Maybe I'm just doing a big deal about something that is not.
About the decoration i'm not taking it. I think I could explain her why i've got those and she could understand that at the very end its more of a political reason (i hate commies) than another thing.

[paulzane]

Difficult problem Voland ..... it is not always sensible being a Redneck / Nazi!!!

[paulzane]

I get your point calgarian and dukki. I agree i fact.
I also understand this kind of situations may be very common in US or Canada or so. But they are not an everyday thing here.
As i told you they would be ok with it, they won't mind. She's been ok with my tattoos which are also explicit, so perhaps she can be fine with my friends tattoos and t-shirts. Maybe I'm just doing a big deal about something that is not.
About the decoration i'm not taking it. I think I could explain her why i've got those and she could understand that at the very end its more of a political reason (i hate commies) than another thing.

OK then ... where is here?

[calgarian]

I get your point calgarian and dukki. I agree i fact.
I also understand this kind of situations may be very common in US or Canada or so. But they are not an everyday thing here.
As i told you they would be ok with it, they won't mind. She's been ok with my tattoos which are also explicit, so perhaps she can be fine with my friends tattoos and t-shirts. Maybe I'm just doing a big deal about something that is not.
About the decoration i'm not taking it. I think I could explain her why i've got those and she could understand that at the very end its more of a political reason (i hate commies) than another thing.

I came from a society where religion is very important. But you know other religions are as important too. I have respected all the religions even thou it wasnt very common where I came from. What I am trying to tell you where ever you are you can always change what you think.

[tboney]

Dude ... It is really hard to get a grip on your problem with so few details. What specifically is wrong with your decor????

[J-Dogg]

OK then ... where is here?

Alabama!

You need to discover yourself.

Are you that scared your boys might make fun of you for dating a black chick? Are they going to tell you “nana nana boo boo!!” and run away?
If you have something to hide in your apartment, it should have been put away or thrown away a long time ago anyway. It’s possible to hold on to your political beliefs and not come off as a racist.

If she makes you happy, spend more time with her. You sound like you are heavily influenced by your friends if they would not approve of her, yet you spend 14 hours with her on a first date. Quit trying to please them and please yourself, believe it or not, they will respect you more. Take down your décor and talk to her about it, explain you did take it down because she’s made you look at things different. Chances are, she’ll be flattered.

You could sell the story to Life Time but we all saw this after school special in 3rd grade.

[Voland]

Difficult problem Voland ..... it is not always sensible being a Redneck / Nazi!!!

1. I'm not a redneck/nazi. But your extremists and hatefull comments make you look like one. For being such an "openminded" person you seem to find difficulty in seeing things from other people perspective and you stigmatise people who's views differ from yours.
I'm just a normal guy from celt and hellenic heritage. And I'm proud of it and I don't like commies because they are screw ups. Is that really so that awful?

2. Here is, Spain. While nowadays is very normal to see people from all around the world. When i went to school 100% of the kids where white. Even at college 99,5% of the people were white etc etc. So not me nor my school friends are used to a multicultural, multiracial envirorment. That's all. We do nothing more. We're not boneheads, we're not a gang, we don't say hatefull comment, etc. We're just people who've had a different upbringing than your. Its not complex to understand if you leave your prejudicies aside.

[Voland]

I came from a society where religion is very important. But you know other religions are as important too. I have respected all the religions even thou it wasnt very common where I came from. What I am trying to tell you where ever you are you can always change what you think.

I agree. I'm working on it.

[Voland]

Alabama!

You need to discover yourself.

Are you that scared your boys might make fun of you for dating a black chick? Are they going to tell you “nana nana boo boo!!” and run away?
Not at all. Once again, they will be 100% supportive. Its about her not being ok with them.
If you have something to hide in your apartment, it should have been put away or thrown away a long time ago anyway. It’s possible to hold on to your political beliefs and not come off as a racist.
I don't consider them racist stuff but some people do.

If she makes you happy, spend more time with her. You sound like you are heavily influenced by your friends if they would not approve of her, yet you spend 14 hours with her on a first date. Quit trying to please them and please yourself, believe it or not, they will respect you more.
Its not my intent to please them.
Take down your décor and talk to her about it, explain you did take it down because she’s made you look at things different. Chances are, she’ll be flattered.
FINALLY a constructive comment.

You could sell the story to Life Time but we all saw this after school special in 3rd grade. We have no Life Time here nor those after school specials lol

Thanks dude

[calgarian]

I agree. I'm working on it.

so u thinking of a serious relationship? or just to bang her?

[Voland]

so u thinking of a serious relationship? or just to bang her?

I'm serious about trying a nice relatinship. I don't "just bang" chicks anymore. Those years are over.
I'm even covering up my some of tattoos.

[calgarian]

I'm serious about trying a nice relatinship. I don't "just bang" chicks anymore. Those years are over.
I'm even covering up my some of tattoos.

so y dont u try talking to her? tell her the truth. Thats why I asked if you were just banging her I would say avoid and lie as much as possible but now that you are serious tell her the truth. Worse that can happen that she will stop talking to u which is way better then she is finding stuff out while u r in the middle of it and then you will be more messed up then before..

just my 2 cents.

["Maximus"]

1. I'm not a redneck/nazi. But your extremists and hatefull comments make you look like one. For being such an "openminded" person you seem to find difficulty in seeing things from other people perspective and you stigmatise people who's views differ from yours.
I'm just a normal guy from celt and hellenic heritage. And I'm proud of it and I don't like commies because they are screw ups. Is that really so that awful?

2. Here is, Spain. While nowadays is very normal to see people from all around the world. When i went to school 100% of the kids where white. Even at college 99,5% of the people were white etc etc. So not me nor my school friends are used to a multicultural, multiracial envirorment. That's all. We do nothing more. We're not boneheads, we're not a gang, we don't say hatefull comment, etc. We're just people who've had a different upbringing than your. Its not complex to understand if you leave your prejudicies aside.

1st bold.... ????

2nd bold... that's what I call an 'oximoron' lol!

Be a ****ing man and stand up for WHAT you believe is good for both of you and stop pleasing ****ing people around. If you don't have the balls to explain to your family and friends why you're dating a 'multicultural, multiracial' woman or women, because of whatever they might say or think about you, you are no good for her.

[StoneGRMI]

You say you don't have hateful comments yet you have tattoos and decorations that would offend someone? What is it, dude? You say you're not prejudice yet you have those things...something isn't adding up. Also, didn't you just post a thread a couple days ago about just meeting this girl or was that someone else? You've known the girl for nothing more than a couple days and you're worried about this? Strange stuff going on here...

[paulzane]

1. I'm not a redneck/nazi. But your extremists and hatefull comments make you look like one. For being such an "openminded" person you seem to find difficulty in seeing things from other people perspective and you stigmatise people who's views differ from yours.
I'm just a normal guy from celt and hellenic heritage. And I'm proud of it and I don't like commies because they are screw ups. Is that really so that awful?

2. Here is, Spain. While nowadays is very normal to see people from all around the world. When i went to school 100% of the kids where white. Even at college 99,5% of the people were white etc etc. So not me nor my school friends are used to a multicultural, multiracial envirorment. That's all. We do nothing more. We're not boneheads, we're not a gang, we don't say hatefull comment, etc. We're just people who've had a different upbringing than your. Its not complex to understand if you leave your prejudicies aside.

Well Voland I am sorry if you are offended but your post sounded like a Redneck's post .... but you are not from the "Deep South". As for Nazi .... your avatar looks like the Nazi emblem .... I know it is NOT the Nazi emblem but it looks like it.

I am surprised that you are from Spain. I have family living in Spain for the last 30 years and I went to a large Spanish wedding there at Easter. In Spain there seem to be plenty of "darker" whites .... ie Hispanics so I will assume that your "girlfriend" is of quite dark African origin.

I have had to deal with the sh1t that you are talking about in the past as my ex wife was a coloured (her words not mine) from Zimbabwe and as I was a skinhead in the forces we turned a few heads! If things do go well with her (your girlfriend) you WILL be able to adjust your attitude. I did.

Good Luck.

Paulzane

[Voland]

You say you don't have hateful comments yet you have tattoos and decorations that would offend someone? What is it, dude? You say you're not prejudice yet you have those things...something isn't adding up. Also, didn't you just post a thread a couple days ago about just meeting this girl or was that someone else? You've known the girl for nothing more than a couple days and you're worried about this? Strange stuff going on here...

yes its the same girl

[Voland]

You say you don't have hateful comments yet you have tattoos and decorations that would offend someone? What is it, dude? As for tattoos: Celtic crosses, Odals, that kind of stuff as for decor: ww2 militaria like flags, condecorations and stuff. You say you're not prejudice yet you have those things...something isn't adding up. Also, didn't you just post a thread a couple days ago about just meeting this girl or was that someone else? Is the same girl. You've known the girl for nothing more than a couple days and you're worried about this? Yes. I like to think about the future. Strange stuff going on here...

hope it get all clear.

[Voland]

Well Voland I am sorry if you are offended but your post sounded like a Redneck's post .... but you are not from the "Deep South". As for Nazi .... your avatar looks like the Nazi emblem .... I know it is NOT the Nazi emblem but it looks like it.

I am surprised that you are from Spain. I have family living in Spain for the last 30 years and I went to a large Spanish wedding there at Easter. In Spain there seem to be plenty of "darker" whites .... ie Hispanics so I will assume that your "girlfriend" is of quite dark African origin.

I have had to deal with the sh1t that you are talking about in the past as my ex wife was a coloured (her words not mine) from Zimbabwe and as I was a skinhead in the forces we turned a few heads! If things do go well with her (your girlfriend) you WILL be able to adjust your attitude. I did.

Good Luck.

Paulzane

Glad to know you understand my situation.
btw, her father is from Spain her mother has French nationality and she is from one of those islands of the caribbean (ex-french colonies).

[Voland]

This is what's going to happen:
As I said in my first post tomorrow i'm having lunch with her. I've called her and told my friends are coming in and she is very happy, somehow flattered, with it i told here they are like me, some are skinheads some are longhairs lol. And i told them i will introduce them this black girl i'm starting to see who could eventually be my gf. They are fine too. So i'll report how it went tomorrow at night.

[X1nn3R]

This is what's going to happen:
As I said in my first post tomorrow i'm having lunch with her. I've called her and told my friends are coming in and she is very happy, somehow flattered, with it i told here they are like me, some are skinheads some are longhairs lol. And i told them i will introduce them this black girl i'm starting to see who could eventually be my gf. They are fine too. So i'll report how it went tomorrow at night.

good luck man, it should be fine, how good of friends are they if they dont approve in the first place? but you made it clear that they are pretty open. keep us informed

[Panzerfaust]

I swear the TS is 12yrs old.

[Voland]

It all went great!!!
We had this lunch of 5. She told me afterwards "they look intimidating but they are really good guys" (which they are) and they told me "she's nice" (she is). Good good. Some people where looking a lot at the restuarant lol. After that it was easy to take her to my place. Altough i've taken some decor, at first she went OMG!!! but I explained the history or reason behind each one and she understod it perfectly. After that tour and some "cardio". We had a snack while watching the new prison break episodes. I find it a hilarious show but he really enjoys it. Tomorrow we'll be spending the weekend out of the city.

[bd50]

It all went great!!!
We had this lunch of 5. She told me afterwards "they look intimidating but they are really good guys" (which they are) and they told me "she's nice" (she is). Good good. Some people where looking a lot at the restuarant lol. After that it was easy to take her to my place. Altough i've taken some decor, at first she went OMG!!! but I explained the history or reason behind each one and she understod it perfectly. After that tour and some "cardio". We had a snack while watching the new prison break episodes. I find it a hilarious show but he really enjoys it. Tomorrow we'll be spending the weekend out of the city.

lol bro,, second time you forget "her" gender and make her a male in your posts.....

[Skully44420]

I think he has best friends like mine. I wouldnt want any girl to meet with them either....oh my best friends are

Dukki
Inky-e
mex
max
skully
smokey

Can u blame me...

i know i'm kinda late on this one...but that is great cal!! haha

[Skully44420]

glad to hear things went good bro. i'm kinda in the same situation as you. i grew up around and with the nazi/skinhead like mentality. i also got a tattoo of an iron cross, which isn't really affiliated with the skinheads now but some still look at it that way. i mean i got it done by a skinhead that i knew. well now i'm talking to a black girl and plan to have a life with her and well we've talked about it and she's very open and understands. sometimes something happens that just makes you open your eyes and change some of your views and theres nothing wrong with that. good luck bro