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Thread: pregnant by turkey baster

  1. 11-05-2008, 06:25 PM #1
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    pregnant by turkey baster

    LOL....this is the FUNNIEST $hit ever....

    My freind went over to this ho's house to fvck her and when he got there he went on in and though it was funny that she had a turkey baster laying on the kitchen counter....thinking what the hell is that for...this b1tch cant cook...

    Anyway

    He strapped up....did his thing....busted his nut....

    Then all of a sudden...she yanks the condom off, takes it...runs off....grabs the turkey baster and locks herself in the bathroom....

    NOW SHE IS PREGNANT ANT ITS HIS BABY!

    thats fvcked up....
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  2. 11-05-2008, 06:27 PM #2
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    what the fvck thts bunny boiler tackle lol theres sum scary girls out there
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  3. 11-05-2008, 06:40 PM #3
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    holy shit!!! that is fukked up
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  4. 11-05-2008, 06:42 PM #4
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    lol...the first time my wife got pregnant she didnt take her pill because she was pissed off at me....thats how i got busted
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  5. 11-05-2008, 06:46 PM #5
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    lmao as the saying goes anything tht bleeds for 5days and dunt die never trust.
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  6. 11-05-2008, 06:47 PM #6
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    Couldn't he like... fight that and not have to pay child support?? That's just wrong.
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  7. 11-05-2008, 06:49 PM #7
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    I guess he could....If i was him i'd just punch her in the pelvis repeatedly
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  8. 11-05-2008, 06:50 PM #8
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    pritty sick would do the job tho, so whats ur man gna do then
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  9. 11-05-2008, 06:52 PM #9
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    He is gonna make her have a paternaty test....court ordered if necessary...

    I dont think he has a leg to stand on....its his word vs. hers....you think she will admit to impregnating her with his gizz with a turkey baster? I doubt it...

    He is just strait up fvcked

    Worst part about it....she is a dirty, nasty, ugly, fat hoe.....

    But i guess that increases his chances that it isnt his....
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  10. 11-05-2008, 06:54 PM #10
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    "I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. Right in the baby-maker. Straight shot."

    -Ron Burgundy
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  11. 11-05-2008, 06:55 PM #11
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    hes in the $hit deffo, i feel for him
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  12. 11-05-2008, 06:56 PM #12
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    Punching her in the ovary wont do it....if she is already you have to hit the uterus....
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  13. 11-05-2008, 06:57 PM #13
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    Touche'
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  14. 11-05-2008, 07:18 PM #14
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    If it ends up being his kid, it's his fault for f*cking a fatty.
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  15. 11-05-2008, 07:51 PM #15
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    she isn't that fat....but i like petite girls...like size 0-6.....size 6 is max ill go...she is probably a 10....has some curves...but is the type that after a baby its all over....

    I almost fvcked her once....glad I couldnt get it up....THANK YOU STEROIDS!
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  16. 11-05-2008, 08:01 PM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhino1 View Post
    she isn't that fat....but i like petite girls...like size 0-6.....size 6 is max ill go...she is probably a 10....has some curves...but is the type that after a baby its all over....

    I almost fvcked her once....glad I couldnt get it up....THANK YOU STEROIDS!
    I don't touch anything over a size 4, and thats if she's athletic, call me what you want, looks matter.
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  17. 11-05-2008, 08:02 PM #17
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    rhino u lucky tw*t this story cud of bin bout u hahah
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  18. 11-05-2008, 08:04 PM #18
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    Is sperm dead once it reaches the air? Does oxygen kill sperm? No, this is a myth that many people believe in, but it is not true! Once sperm is DRY it is dead and cannot travel to fertilize an egg. Sperm can live for 3-5 days if it is in a warm, moist environment such as the cervix of a woman. Sperm cannot come back to life once it has dried, even if it is remoistened!
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  19. 11-05-2008, 08:09 PM #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    Is sperm dead once it reaches the air? Does oxygen kill sperm? No, this is a myth that many people believe in, but it is not true! Once sperm is DRY it is dead and cannot travel to fertilize an egg. Sperm can live for 3-5 days if it is in a warm, moist environment such as the cervix of a woman. Sperm cannot come back to life once it has dried, even if it is remoistened!
    What are you talking about ? Man comes in condom, girl takes condom and removes contents in turkey baster, turkey baster is then inserted into vagina and squeezed in. Probably took 5 mins. Sperm will last in a jar for over an hour. And trust me I know because i have jerked off into a jar and taken it to a clinic for examination after my vasectomy reversal.
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  20. 11-05-2008, 08:11 PM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    What are you talking about ? Man comes in condom, girl takes condom and removes contents in turkey baster, turkey baster is then inserted into vagina and squeezed in. Probably took 5 mins. Sperm will last in a jar for over an hour. And trust me I know because i have jerked off into a jar and taken it to a clinic for examination after my vasectomy reversal.
    I was PROVING that very same point !
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  21. 11-05-2008, 08:14 PM #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by clockwork_killer View Post
    rhino u lucky tw*t this story cud of bin bout u hahah
    Not me...If you saw my other thread...Im married and have 4 children all 15 months apart
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  22. 11-05-2008, 08:15 PM #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    I was PROVING that very same point !
    Sorry I must have missed something that I am still missing
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  23. 11-05-2008, 08:15 PM #23
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    one shot of spooge through a turkey baster
    10-20% odds it's his I would say
    either he busted in her before and isn't telling you or she's been frequenting other penis
    getting prego on the first try is a long shot, esp scraping a condom then shooting through a kitchen utensil.
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  24. 11-05-2008, 08:15 PM #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDMSilviaSpecR View Post
    I don't touch anything over a size 4, and thats if she's athletic, call me what you want, looks matter.
    um...there may have been some alcohol and drugs involved...

    Either way....I was not in my right frame of mind....steroids saved me!
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  25. 11-05-2008, 08:17 PM #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos View Post
    one shot of spooge through a turkey baster
    10-20% odds it's his I would say
    either he busted in her before and isn't telling you or she's been frequenting other penis
    getting prego on the first try is a long shot, esp scraping a condom then shooting through a kitchen utensil.
    lol....not necessarily....if i jack off in the other room, my wife gets pregnant

    As you can see
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  26. 11-05-2008, 08:20 PM #26
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    thats what i ment it cud of bin about the story u if the roids dint save u mate
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  27. 11-05-2008, 08:22 PM #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by clockwork_killer View Post
    thats what i ment it cud of bin about the story u if the roids dint save u mate
    o my bad... lol...

    Good ol testicular atrophy

    My cock was like "what????....Hell Naw"
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  28. 11-05-2008, 08:53 PM #28
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    He could slip some RU-486 into one of her drinks....Might be worth the risk instead of an 18 year bill...
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  29. 11-05-2008, 08:56 PM #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegodfather View Post
    He could slip some RU-486 into one of her drinks....Might be worth the risk instead of an 18 year bill...
    sleep over and inject her with some pgcl in her sleep
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  30. 11-05-2008, 09:03 PM #30
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    ^^ all good suggestions
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  31. 11-05-2008, 09:07 PM #31
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    lol....ill tell him
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  32. 11-06-2008, 01:12 AM #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos View Post
    sleep over and inject her with some pgcl in her sleep
    harrrrshhh
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  33. 11-06-2008, 01:12 AM #33
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    all good advice
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  34. 11-06-2008, 01:12 AM #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhino1 View Post
    she isn't that fat....but i like petite girls...like size 0-6.....size 6 is max ill go...she is probably a 10....has some curves...but is the type that after a baby its all over....

    I almost fvcked her once....glad I couldnt get it up....THANK YOU STEROIDS!
    another great reason to use gear ha ha

    Quote Originally Posted by JDMSilviaSpecR View Post
    I don't touch anything over a size 4, and thats if she's athletic, call me what you want, looks matter.

    im the same bro!i wanna be able to wrap my one arm around her waist

    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos View Post
    sleep over and inject her with some pgcl in her sleep
    thats a great idea!
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  35. 11-06-2008, 03:19 AM #35
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    Well you see, Maury, it's like this...

    Definitely want to get a paternity test on that. If she's not killed in a mysterious hit and run first.
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  36. 11-06-2008, 03:32 AM #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErnstHatAngst View Post
    Well you see, Maury, it's like this...

    Definitely want to get a paternity test on that. If she's not killed in a mysterious hit and run first.
    lol....there are many ways to fix this problem
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  37. 11-06-2008, 05:02 AM #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhino1 View Post
    lol....there are many ways to fix this problem
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  38. 11-06-2008, 05:19 AM #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    thats just wrong
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  39. 11-06-2008, 06:13 AM #39
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    This thread is funny as all hell. Damn your boy is in a bad spot.
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  40. 11-06-2008, 07:13 AM #40
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    she needs to go for a ride in the trunk of his car.
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