The jealousy and/or negative attitudes towards you from being big and muscular?

[Atomini]

Hey all, I haven't posted here in a while (I seem to be on and off this forum through the years). Anyhow, i'm sure this topic has been posted/discussed here before but this is more of a questioning rant for me.

This has never hit me before today, but now i've put the pieces together. I am generally a person who gets along with most people. I seldom have a problem with people, nor have I had many in which I have knowingly caused. Throughout my life in every area from work-related relationships to social relationships, there has always been that occasional one or two people who have treated me more aggressively and negatively than most - and for no reason (that was apparent to me at the time, anyhow). It seemed to just come out of nowhere, especially with those who I have not had much communication or contact with that would make me wonder "why is this guy being bad-mannered to me and treating me rudely? I've only ever spoken to this guy briefly once or twice!".

For those of you who don't know me, I am in the military and today I was told by a friend in a different unit from mine (who is off on a field training exercise) that he spoke to someone today in the field from my unit who said he doesn't like me. Lol. Funny. This person who says he doesn't like me (I will refer to him as Cpl Sausage since that is his nickname)... I have communicated with him maybe 2 or 3 times, and I can't ever remember saying or doing anything that would warrant a reaction like that. When asking my buddy what Cpl Sausage said about me, he couldn't remember what was said other than something about how i'm 'always showing off'. Right. Can you figure what he's talking about maybe? I can. This isn't new to me, but the reasoning behind all this just hit me now.

So you see, that's one of the problems with being big and muscular. People think you're always "showing off your muscles" when you really aren't... it just so happens that you are muscular, therefore it shows. Period. You get all kinds of reactions from people, mostly positive. But then you get guys like these. Funny thing is... if it's anyone who shows off, it's Cpl Sausage, who spent 2 months overseas in KAF stuck in a supply shed counting socks and underwear... and now walks around acting as if he is a battle hardened war vet. A few people in my unit laugh at him about this as well.

And i'm not so sure if most of these reactions are out of jealousy, because some of them may not be. I've noticed a few people throughout my life who have reacted this way did so because they percieved me as an intimidating threat due to my size, and therefore felt the need to get on the offensive and act like shit to me. I guess that's probably our animalistic instinctive nature for competition manifesting itself among us Alpha personality types.

In any case, feel free to discuss! I'd like to hear other people's similar experiences here. And what are your tactics in dealing with people like this? Especially those you may have to see every day in a certain environment? And don't tell me you haven't encountered this before! If you think you haven't, think hard about your past and I guarantee you will notice even a small number of similar patterns.

[thegodfather]

The most negativity I have noted is from my college professors, particularly in my science curriculum since pursuing medical school. I will get some snide remarks from professors and from doctors, and some residents. I learned a while ago when I was doing my undergrad to NEVER wear my fraternity letters to lecture, as being in good shape AND being in a fraternity totally boxed you in. You know how people recognize snobbery when it comes to clothing, body image, money, etc? Well, I have actually been victim to what I'd call "intellectual snobbery," where I've had pencil necked nerds automatically make assumptions about my intelligence based on my looks or my muscles without knowing anything about me, and then when I spoke in class, discussions, etc, so they were kind of taken off guard to hear that I am ostensibly intelligent. I say ostensibly, because I like to be modest, and would never actually call myself intelligent, I think its a rather subjective metric, based on so many subjective criterion, and compounded by the fact that one of my biggest pet peeves is people who talk and gloat about themselves by saying "Im this .........." or "Im that .................... kind of person." Self analysis is great and all, but when used in the context of trying to impress or belittle others, it bothers me immensely.

Keep your head up, fu*k the haters! Lol...

[Str8Jakked]

I understand how you feel, I am educated, cultured and well read but society looks at me as if I am a freak- but I like it...

[TBrah]

I understand how you feel, I am educated, cultured and well read but society looks at me as if I am a freak- but I like it...

hooooly shit is that you in your avatar

[boz]

Hey all, I haven't posted here in a while (I seem to be on and off this forum through the years). Anyhow, i'm sure this topic has been posted/discussed here before but this is more of a questioning rant for me.

This has never hit me before today, but now i've put the pieces together. I am generally a person who gets along with most people. I seldom have a problem with people, nor have I had many in which I have knowingly caused. Throughout my life in every area from work-related relationships to social relationships, there has always been that occasional one or two people who have treated me more aggressively and negatively than most - and for no reason (that was apparent to me at the time, anyhow). It seemed to just come out of nowhere, especially with those who I have not had much communication or contact with that would make me wonder "why is this guy being bad-mannered to me and treating me rudely? I've only ever spoken to this guy briefly once or twice!".

For those of you who don't know me, I am in the military and today I was told by a friend in a different unit from mine (who is off on a field training exercise) that he spoke to someone today in the field from my unit who said he doesn't like me. Lol. Funny. This person who says he doesn't like me (I will refer to him as Cpl Sausage since that is his nickname)... I have communicated with him maybe 2 or 3 times, and I can't ever remember saying or doing anything that would warrant a reaction like that. When asking my buddy what Cpl Sausage said about me, he couldn't remember what was said other than something about how i'm 'always showing off'. Right. Can you figure what he's talking about maybe? I can. This isn't new to me, but the reasoning behind all this just hit me now.

So you see, that's one of the problems with being big and muscular. People think you're always "showing off your muscles" when you really aren't... it just so happens that you are muscular, therefore it shows. Period. You get all kinds of reactions from people, mostly positive. But then you get guys like these. Funny thing is... if it's anyone who shows off, it's Cpl Sausage, who spent 2 months overseas in KAF stuck in a supply shed counting socks and underwear... and now walks around acting as if he is a battle hardened war vet. A few people in my unit laugh at him about this as well.

And i'm not so sure if most of these reactions are out of jealousy, because some of them may not be. I've noticed a few people throughout my life who have reacted this way did so because they percieved me as an intimidating threat due to my size, and therefore felt the need to get on the offensive and act like shit to me. I guess that's probably our animalistic instinctive nature for competition manifesting itself among us Alpha personality types.

In any case, feel free to discuss! I'd like to hear other people's similar experiences here. And what are your tactics in dealing with people like this? Especially those you may have to see every day in a certain environment? And don't tell me you haven't encountered this before! If you think you haven't, think hard about your past and I guarantee you will notice even a small number of similar patterns.

Your letting him get to u which is what he wants, u have to ignore the haters and come out stronger.

[stevey_6t9]

haters gona hate

[dec11]

im guessing a sub 25 age group posting in this thread?

[xavierlafleur]

I've been big all my life and people often think I must be mean, violent or think I'm better than they are because I'm big. Nothing could be further from the truth. Now I live in Asia where the locals only have two body types: fat or thin. I'm not thin so in their minds I must be fat and they keep that perception until I take off my shirt. Being different is always a problem..............too big, too small, too stupid, too intelligent, etc.......doesn't matter what the difference is there will always be unwarranted aggression against that person.

It hurts but it's something that one needs to learn to live with. I've learned it's best to avoid small minded people even though they're everywhere.

I thought I should add a little to my post: I don't think it's immature to admit I have feelings and my feelings get hurt when someone is afraid of me just because of my size. It highly pisses me off when a doctor sees my chart that says I weigh 126 kilos and he automatically assumes I'm grossly obese. I might be dressed so he can't see my body but he can see my big arms and no fat on my neck or face. How stupid can he be?

So yes, I get hurt or angry at the stupidity of the human race sometimes. Maybe I should toughen up emotionally a bit but at 51 I don't think that's going to happen.

I find your post legitimate and I'm sure many members here have suffered the same experiences as we have.

[Flagg]

When I was at my biggest a few years back, I remember a few guys at work going around telling the female workers that I was roided up or "don't talk to that guy, he gets roid rage". I was never on any stuff, nor have I been, and it somewhat pissed me off that a bunch of insecure dicks would say shit like that about me.

[Chitown Raider]

I can relate, I see it all the time whether at the gym or out and about. The skinny kid or kid who thinks he's big wearing the wife beater, and no one even blinks. Occasionally, if it's really hot out I will wear one and people stare and make little comments but I don't wear it to show off. I wear it cause it's comfortable. The annoying part is when people come up and ask "what your on?"

[gbrice75]

I have a different but somewhat related issue. Hopefully this isn't hijacking or taking this too far off topic...

First, i'm not big by any means. However compared to the 'average joe', I'm in decent shape and have a muscular physique. As such, I enjoy wearing tank tops simply because it makes me feel good. I spent nearly 15 years of my life (arguably my best years, late teens and all of my 20's) being obese and hiding. I am simply enjoying now what I could have been all along - less inhibition.

My problem, I believe, is mainly in my head. I get the idea that other people look at me and THINK "look at this guy, he thinks he's big" or "this guy is skinny, he shouldn't be in a tank", etc. I do have my own issues with feeling small/skinny looking so this could ALL very well be my own thoughts, and i'm simply deflecting them on to other people. However, it's hard to imagine some people don't think that way as well. Thoughts?

[im83931]

Yeah, I think the same thing gbrice75. I have heard people talking about others physique, but the thing I noticed were that allot of those people do it out of insecurity. I mean if you look at them the ones who are usually bashing are those who are in piss poor shape.

[im83931]

Meaning I think the same way as you, not the same as those who say "look at this guy"

[bjpennnn]

I am by no means big, i am 5-6 about 170 ripped. but no matter were i go out at night if its like a bar or club or something which i rarely ever do i always get in some type of confrontation. I do not know what it is, honestly its ****en annoying. I dont know if it the way i carry myself or what but haters gunna hate.

[dec11]

I am by no means big, i am 5-6 about 170 ripped. but no matter were i go out at night if its like a bar or club or something which i rarely ever do i always get in some type of confrontation. I do not know what it is, honestly its ****en annoying. I dont know if it the way i carry myself or what but haters gunna hate.

its because these places are usually full of retards

[Atomini]

its because these places are usually full of retards

I second that. I've had problems in bars and clubs before I ever got very big. I haven't been to the bar/club scene in over 5 years now and I stay away. Some places tend to attract more idiots than others.

The last place you want to go is the hornet's nest.

[dec11]

I second that. I've had problems in bars and clubs before I ever got very big. I haven't been to the bar/club scene in over 5 years now and I stay away. Some places tend to attract more idiots than others.

The last place you want to go is the hornet's nest.

yep, generally alcohol=retards

[DCI]

I think people assume I am foreign even had Polish lads come up to me and start speaking polish to me. Least I can speak a good bit of that to tell in their own language that I'm irish etc. They get thrown off alot when you speak their own language it's funny

I do be a bit too drunk sometimes to notice but a buddy of mine was saying there be lads watching me all the time. I aint massive at all so I dunno what they feel threatened by but like Gbrice I do enjoy wearing fitted shirts and T shirts if I am on a night out. But as the chap above said some people automatically assume you are going to be a dick just because you are big etc and that you are going to cause a fight etc. Bit mental imo. I am the easiest going person ever and generally go outta my way to avoid fights etc.

[dec11]

I think people assume I am foreign even had Polish lads come up to me and start speaking polish to me. Least I can speak a good bit of that to tell in their own language that I'm irish etc. They get thrown off alot when you speak their own language it's funny

I do be a bit too drunk sometimes to notice but a buddy of mine was saying there be lads watching me all the time. I aint massive at all so I dunno what they feel threatened by but like Gbrice I do enjoy wearing fitted shirts and T shirts if I am on a night out, at the gay club. But as the chap above said some people automatically assume you are going to be a dick just because you are big etc and that you are going to cause a fight etc. Bit mental imo. I am the easiest going person ever and generally go outta my way to avoid fights etc.

there, all fixed for you

[gixxerboy1]

i think you just get insecure people that will find a reason to bitch. Your bigger, leaner, nicer car what ever.

[DCI]

there, all fixed for you

Lol, go **** yourself ya old man

[dec11]

i think you just get insecure people that will find a reason to bitch. Your bigger, leaner, nicer car what ever.

exactly, id some twat at work boasting about fast his '600' fireblade is, i just laughed to myself, he asked if i had a bike and i said yeah, a 929 fireblade to which he replied 'i didnt know they came that big'.

just another example of a boozed up class A dickhead lol

[Standby]

i dont see myself as big if anythign someone asked me to describe myself id say im fat. ive got people that say things about me and what not but what i noticed friday when i went to a bar for a friend bday and i wasnt drinking i was driving id the people starring at me as i walk by and not moving forcing me to move them. like i just want to walk by and im not drunk so i dont want to fight just move the fvck out of the way damn it!

[Twist]

I wear a undershirt all the time at the gym, rarely on leg day though. I could give a **** what other people think of me in the gym. Big guys are usually fat and small guys are usually weak. It's also hot as hell so why would I wear a shirt? This is like the only acceptable time to wear an undershirt in public lol. I never could understand how people wear sweat shirts in the gym.

As for being big, I'm not really big so not much to comment there... I will say though that most big guys have an altered perception of how other people see them. I hear stuff all the time like, "She's intimidated because of my size" or that he's intimidated or whatever. Most of the time girls just think you're ugly and guys think you're a douche.

[Standby]

I wear a undershirt all the time at the gym, rarely on leg day though. I could give a **** what other people think of me in the gym. Big guys are usually fat and small guys are usually weak. It's also hot as hell so why would I wear a shirt? This is like the only acceptable time to wear an undershirt in public lol. I never could understand how people wear sweat shirts in the gym.

As for being big, I'm not really big so not much to comment there... I will say though that most big guys have an altered perception of how other people see them. I hear stuff all the time like, "She's intimidated because of my size" or that he's intimidated or whatever. Most of the time girls just think you're ugly and guys think you're a douche.

this is how i see it. i assume people think im a douche and girls think im ugly.. then friends that make some comments is more of just a respect to the fact ive lost over 60lbs and obviously thats noticeable. maybe one day ill be big

[Twist]

^Just run a dbol/equipoise cycle and anavar for pct. That will make the all jealous! And if they try to start shit just take some sustanon

[Standby]

^Just run a dbol/equipoise cycle and anavar for pct. That will make the all jealous! And if they try to start shit just take some sustanon

when im ready for my first cycle i will look into this. except this sust i take a shot of that when i go out to the bars before my rails just incase i have to fight. but its only 1 shot every month or so, so i dont consider it my first cycle

[Nooomoto]

It's a funny thing...the social dynamic. I've been playing rugby with the same team for 5 years now, and up until recently one of the backs has always been a cock to me, so of course I'd give it right back. One day we were all drinking and got to talking and he said "I thought you didn't like me because I'm not all jacked up like you"..I thought that was hilarious, I laughed and we are cool friends now. Another one of the backs, again when we were all drinking, started kind of telling me how he used to squat like 450 back in the day when he worked out a lot and yada yada. He said something to the effect of "I know what you're all about man, and I just want you to know I understand...back when I was working out a lot I used to squat in the mid 400s"...he had the tone of someone trying to seek approval. I was like "T----- it's ok dude...I don't doubt you"...I didn't really know what to say. I don't really care how much he used to squat, I don't value a person's worth based on their physical abilities, so I was sort of at a loss.

Another incident, this one really pissed me off...it was Xmas time at my girlfriend's house, and her rather wealthy family was visiting from Spain. Her grandfather, who speaks no English made the comment "Oh we have a job for him in Spain, he can come squeeze oranges". This pissed me the fk off, and if he wasn't old I probably would've got in his face. He was insinuating that because I'm big and strong looking I must be retarded. ****ing asshole. I have a BA in Poli Sci and an MA in INR. WTF...squeeze oranges?

My mom used to tell me (back when I bothered visiting with her "friends") that some of her friends were afraid of me. I couldn't figure out why, I've never threatened anyone, never even acted like I was going to do anything to anyone, never got mad at anyone, always the funny guy making jokes. Turns out it's my size. Apparently just standing there, or sitting at a dinner table I come off as menacing. I don't get it.

Comes with the territory!

[thegodfather]

I think that you get just as many people who are hating, giving you nasty attitudes, as you do the guys who want to be 'friends with the big guy' and go out of their way to be nice to you and not disrespect you in anyway.

[paulzane]

I think people assume I am foreign even had Polish lads come up to me and start speaking polish to me. Least I can speak a good bit of that to tell in their own language that I'm irish etc. They get thrown off alot when you speak their own language it's funny

If you were in England Damien C, London particularly, the the only white people left there are Polish or Eastern European!!!!!

[auslifta]

[Nooomoto]

I think that you get just as many people who are hating, giving you nasty attitudes, as you do the guys who want to be 'friends with the big guy' and go out of their way to be nice to you and not disrespect you in anyway.

Haha...thats true too. I was once in a bar, and some random guy came up to me and said "Guys like you are like gods to me"...it was really weird, didn't know what to say. Another time I accidentally ended up at some golf party in Orlando, and I literally had a swarm of golfers hitting on me. It was wall to wall cock. Didn't stay there too long. If I didn't already think golf was gay, that affirmed it.

[gbrice75]

Most of the time girls just think you're ugly and guys think you're a douche.

I literally had a swarm of golfers hitting on me. It was wall to wall cock. Didn't stay there too long. If I didn't already think golf was gay, that affirmed it.

[dec11]

If you were in England Damien C, London particularly, the the only white people left there are Polish or Eastern European!!!!!

dublin is the same mate, you can walk down o'connell street and not hear an irish tongue

[gbrice75]

Just out of curiosity - what ethnicity's predominately live in London and Dublin now, if not white/English/Irish?

[DCI]

There still is lots of Irish in Dublin you just have to go to the "irish" parts of it mainly the south side and actually out of dublin altogether with the boom times houses in dublin and rents where going for insane money I remember a garage went for something like 400k back in the day people had money to wipe their arses with.

With the boom it also attracted a lot of people from outside countries into Ireland too. There is a lot of African people over here and eastern europeans but to be fair to the Eastern Europeans they are doing jobs that the "rich Irish" wouldn't do themselves during the boom times etc.

[dec11]

Just out of curiosity - what ethnicity's predominately live in London and Dublin now, if not white/English/Irish?

eastern european, asian and african. 188euro a week on the dole is an attractive proposition to alot of them, some unemployed families are sitting pretty on 50-60,000k a year benefits and dental/medical cards. not all are are on the take though.

[gixxerboy1]

i know alot of polish people that went to uk

[Public Enemy]

[DCI]

i know alot of polish people that went to uk

We'll take your women but leave the men