I need help with marriage question cause im tarded

[cherrydrpepper]

Ok so this girl.. Been dating a year and she's pressuring for marriage. I don't think I want to get married. Having tough time of it. Tried to break up with her couple of times. Need outside help cause i'm very vaginal when it comes to all this junk.

Pros

Girl loves sex. Girl loves to give bj's. Girl is a cutie. Girl has good genetics. We are the same age (could be good / bad thing depending on how you look at it). Girl would be a good mother and wife. Good girl, trustworthy. Girl would love me and be faithful til the end of time I feel. Girl is confident but lets me do a lot of the driving in the relationship.


Cons

Don't want to get married now maybe in five years if Im going to be honest with myself. Not sure then even. Same with kids don't want them right now. Outlook on life is wierd; Only things I actually enjoy are slapping ass with bros in the gym hitting new lifts and hitting on girls at the club. Pretty weak but life is kinda weak sometimes. Oh and I like gambling, poker and blackjack. Lol yeah weak. I am having trouble believing I am the special one for this girl or vice versa. I think she just wants to marry someone and have babies. An any nice-cute-guy-will-do type thing. I always thought if I was going to think about marriage it would be like a thunderbolt hit me. Like whoa holy shit I haven't felt this way since I was a teenager. As I go through life though its like Tyler Durden (Fight Club) said. We all were trained to believe we were going to be rock stars and movie stars and millionaires.. but we won't. (Honestly the sauce is the closest I have come to this feeling, lifes pretty good with the sauce Ultimately I am a bit of a loner by nature. I'm conflicted. Nothing is ever good enough for me and this girl is good to me. I guess I'm scared to lose. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for me so just cause this girl isn't "good enough" for me its probably nothing about her.

I dunno what does the dr phil gallery think

[Dr Pepper]

I would end it man! Sounds like she's really into you but you don't feel 100% about her and you sound like your not sure that you ever will be. In the end if u drag it out your only going to hurt her more. Plus u will know when u find the right girl Just my 2cents!

Btw in your opening sentence did u mean to say your very vaginal about these thing? LOL

[gixxerboy1]

how old are you?
If you arent ready yet dont do it. Dating only a year isnt much imo.

[cherrydrpepper]

I would end it man! Sounds like she's really into you but you don't feel 100% about her and you sound like your not sure that you ever will be. In the end if u drag it out your only going to hurt her more. Plus u will know when u find the right girl Just my 2cents!

Btw in your opening sentence did u mean to say your very vaginal about these thing? LOL

The vaginal / junk paradox was unintentional lol

how old are you?
If you arent ready yet dont do it. Dating only a year isnt much imo.

Im 30.. the most immature 30 i know.. admittedly

[gixxerboy1]

There comes a time to grow up. So i would think about what you want to do or have in your life.
I wouldnt break it off because you arent ready.
I would just tell her you arent ready to get married yet

[xelnaga]

I had a similar situation with a girl I dated for 6 years. Great girl, trust worthy, kind, good listener, hot... etc etc. After 6 years I knew she was not the girl I wanted to marry. The way I broke it off is I realized its not fair to keep a girl on your hook if you know your not going to marry her. You may not care about marriage, but for some girls its an essential part of life happiness and they spend A LOT of time worrying about it.

[JohnnyVegas]

Don't get married until you feel it is right. You say you don't want to get married, but there is a decent chance you would want to get married if you were with the right girl. Lots of blowjobs does not make someone the right girl (but it helps). I swore I wouldn't marry again after my divorce, but I met a girl that made me WANT to commit to a lifetime together. Sounds corny, but it makes me think our attitude toward marriage is shaped by the person we are with.

Also, don't date a girl for years without any intention of marrying her. All you are doing is wasting years for both of you.

There is my Dr. Phil advice for the day.

[gixxerboy1]

I agree with both guys about stringing her along. But dating for 1 year isnt that long

[RaginCajun]

Ok so this girl.. Been dating a year and she's pressuring for marriage. I don't think I want to get married. Having tough time of it. Tried to break up with her couple of times. Need outside help cause i'm very vaginal when it comes to all this junk.

Pros

Girl loves sex. Girl loves to give bj's. Girl is a cutie. Girl has good genetics. We are the same age (could be good / bad thing depending on how you look at it). Girl would be a good mother and wife. Good girl, trustworthy. Girl would love me and be faithful til the end of time I feel. Girl is confident but lets me do a lot of the driving in the relationship.


Cons

Don't want to get married now maybe in five years if Im going to be honest with myself. Not sure then even. Same with kids don't want them right now. Outlook on life is wierd; Only things I actually enjoy are slapping ass with bros in the gym hitting new lifts and hitting on girls at the club. Pretty weak but life is kinda weak sometimes. Oh and I like gambling, poker and blackjack. Lol yeah weak. I am having trouble believing I am the special one for this girl or vice versa. I think she just wants to marry someone and have babies. An any nice-cute-guy-will-do type thing. I always thought if I was going to think about marriage it would be like a thunderbolt hit me. Like whoa holy shit I haven't felt this way since I was a teenager. As I go through life though its like Tyler Durden (Fight Club) said. We all were trained to believe we were going to be rock stars and movie stars and millionaires.. but we won't. (Honestly the sauce is the closest I have come to this feeling, lifes pretty good with the sauce Ultimately I am a bit of a loner by nature. I'm conflicted. Nothing is ever good enough for me and this girl is good to me. I guess I'm scared to lose. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for me so just cause this girl isn't "good enough" for me its probably nothing about her.

I dunno what does the dr phil gallery think

the bold! we are the same age but i agree with the some of the guys before me. one year is not along time and you seem unsure so just play it out and see what happens. only time will tell! if she has any friends like that, send them down south

[stpete]

In your post you complimented her 5 times and i'm sure she does other things you like you just didn't mention it. Now think about that for a minute....How many other girls have you been out with that you can say those things about. Especially the good wife and mother thing? And she's tolerant of you going out with the boys?
Agree that one year isn't that long and marriage should be maybe another 2-3 years down the road. I don't think there's any reason to drop her right now.
Hanging w/the guys and gambling will always be there. And hell, can't party forever. I let a good one go 10 years ago for the same reasons as you. I was one of the lucky ones to happen across one even better than her. I was worried that i'd be single forever.
Look at your future and where you want to be in 10 years. Just my .02

[JD250]

You should tell HER all the things you just told us.......if she is as awesome as you think she is, she will respect your honesty and you'll be able to have a good conversation about it, if not....oh well, at least you'll know where you stand with her.

[gixxerboy1]

lets look at the facts you said. You like slapping ass with the guys, you dont want to marry the perfect girl. Yea your gay

[warchild]

what is it with girls and wanting to get married soo bad???? why?????????????????

[xelnaga]

what is it with girls and wanting to get married soo bad???? why?????????????????

I think its some kind of internal mechanism. Same with wanting to grow another human being inside thier body cavity.

[Hoggage_54]

Post some pics of her

[Dr Pepper]

Post some pics of her

The only smart thing that's been said in this thread

[xelnaga]

The only smart thing that's been said in this thread

Ooops we must have forgotten you're thinking with the little head!

[lovbyts]

Agreed with most of the above, 1 year is not very long. I would say 3 minimum and at least 1 year living together. Everything changes once you live together....

[Times Roman]

Ok so this girl.. Been dating a year and she's pressuring for marriage. I don't think I want to get married. Having tough time of it. Tried to break up with her couple of times. Need outside help cause i'm very vaginal when it comes to all this junk.

Pros

Girl loves sex. Girl loves to give bj's. Girl is a cutie. Girl has good genetics. We are the same age (could be good / bad thing depending on how you look at it). Girl would be a good mother and wife. Good girl, trustworthy. Girl would love me and be faithful til the end of time I feel. Girl is confident but lets me do a lot of the driving in the relationship.


Cons

Don't want to get married now maybe in five years if Im going to be honest with myself. Not sure then even. Same with kids don't want them right now. Outlook on life is wierd; Only things I actually enjoy are slapping ass with bros in the gym hitting new lifts and hitting on girls at the club. Pretty weak but life is kinda weak sometimes. Oh and I like gambling, poker and blackjack. Lol yeah weak. I am having trouble believing I am the special one for this girl or vice versa. I think she just wants to marry someone and have babies. An any nice-cute-guy-will-do type thing. I always thought if I was going to think about marriage it would be like a thunderbolt hit me. Like whoa holy shit I haven't felt this way since I was a teenager. As I go through life though its like Tyler Durden (Fight Club) said. We all were trained to believe we were going to be rock stars and movie stars and millionaires.. but we won't. (Honestly the sauce is the closest I have come to this feeling, lifes pretty good with the sauce Ultimately I am a bit of a loner by nature. I'm conflicted. Nothing is ever good enough for me and this girl is good to me. I guess I'm scared to lose. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for me so just cause this girl isn't "good enough" for me its probably nothing about her.

I dunno what does the dr phil gallery think

Ok... here's what grampa Roman thinks (that's me by the ways....)

on the positive side, you didn't mention compatibility. You didn't mention she has this really great peronality. The first thing that came out of your mouth is that she loves sex and giving head. Really? these are the first two things that pop into your head when you think of her positive qualities? Over half her good qualities that you mention are of a physical nature, which will fade in time. Good mother/wife and being faithful. But this is generic BS. Why? Spin it around and look at it the other way. If she wouldn't be a good mother/wife and being faithful we wouldn't be talking; this marriage idea would never get out the gate. I consider these to be minimum qualifiers. Now, having said all that, I'd be willing to bet that if I met this young lady of yours, I'd be able to see qualities you didn't mention, that you apprieciate. But you haven't communicated that to us, since all you seem to notice is that she loves sex, gives you head, is a cutie, has good genetics. these aren't her issues, this is your short sightedness. Strike one against you!

on the negative side, you list a whole grocery list of your shortcomings, which are a pretty good indication to me you don't have the tools necessary to be anything other than another divorce statistic. Not once did you mention what you would be willing to give up, willing to sacrafice to make it work with this young lady.

She is ready for kids, you are not (not in the next 5 years). You want to go out with your buds, go gambling, snap wet towels with your bros in the locker room (OK, i made that one up).

Think this thing through mate. you get married, and it sounds like babies will happen sooner than later. Once that happens, she won't be this sexy hot young thing that's exciting. instead, she will be a mommy AND a wife, and guess who comes first? THE BABY!! Which means now the sex thing takes a back seat. She will be tired, she will probably gain weight.... and oh, is she going to work, too? So she will have job stresses, baby stresses, and feeling guilty when you waggle your wank in front of her face hoping for head, and she's "too tired".

But since you are so immature, and haven't thought of anything you're willing to sacrafice, you will still want to go gambling, and hang out with your bro's. She will resent you for not helping out more around the house. You will resent her for spending too much time with the baby/chores and not enough time with you under the sheets.

She sounds like one helluva catch. But here's the problem, and the reason for the rant in the other thread. The only way, it sounds to me, you would marry this lady, is if you were totally selfish ("I can't believe she would be with me... aka... this is probably the best deal i'm going to get" me me me)

But for a marriage to work, it has to be good for her, too. But it doesn't sound like you ARE good for her. You haven't developed the emotional / parental skills necessary yet to make a marriage with babies work. Babies sound eminent, and in a few years, you will realize your mistake, but then, divorce would mean leaving babies behind which is a horrible thing to do.

If you are seriously considering this, you and your lass, go see a pre marriage counsiller, once a week, for several weeks. You will get a real good idea after that, if you are in a place yet where you can handle marriage / wife / babies and the rigors required of a good marriage.....

Good luck!
---Roman

[Armykid93]

Im 18 and I just got married. I am extremly happy but I wasnt sure at all and from what I have heard from other dudes is........NO DUDE IS EVER SURE HE SHOULD GET MARRIED. Lol but seriously I wasnt sure and I am very happy now. I look at my marriage from a biblical standpoint to which helps me be sure it was the right thing to do. But if your not ready your not ready. At the end of the day you gota say could I see myself with this woman forever? If you can, then maybe stick to the relationship. But in another year or 2 if your still not ready and dont think your even beggining to be ready then id break it off. Like everyone else said its not really fair to her.

[Armykid93]

I think its some kind of internal mechanism. Same with wanting to grow another human being inside thier body cavity.

Funniest shit ive ever seen, im laughing so hard after reading this.

[Vettester]

Agreed with most of the above, 1 year is not very long. I would say 3 minimum and at least 1 year living together. Everything changes once you live together....

Exactly, that was my rule when I things started getting serious with what became my 2nd wife. 15 years later, it's still going great! But then again I travel half the year, so maybe that's part of the secret.

[Times Roman]

Im 18 and I just got married. I am extremly happy but I wasnt sure at all and from what I have heard from other dudes is........NO DUDE IS EVER SURE HE SHOULD GET MARRIED. Lol but seriously I wasnt sure and I am very happy now. I look at my marriage from a biblical standpoint to which helps me be sure it was the right thing to do. But if your not ready your not ready. At the end of the day you gota say could I see myself with this woman forever? If you can, then maybe stick to the relationship. But in another year or 2 if your still not ready and dont think your even beggining to be ready then id break it off. Like everyone else said its not really fair to her.

mate,

no disrespect intended. but you are still in your honeymoon period!!!!! EVERYONE IS HAPPY DURING THEIR HONEYMOON PERIOD!!!

marriage is supposed to be for life, and in your case, the next 70 years.

so come back in 10 or 20 years when your marriage has a little bit more miles on it, and please tell us you are still "Extremely Happy"

If marriage is like reading a book, then you are still reading the first page, still wondering if it is going to be a "good one" or not.

[xelnaga]

After the honeymoon phase all the things you thought were cute become irritating as hell.

[DSM4Life]

Does she do anal?

[Loki387]

Simply put.. If you got doubts.. let her know... man up... telling people on a forum about feelings is always going to get mixed responses..... just speak to her brother.... open up and see what happens.....

Worst case scenario.. she calls you a immature d***.... you sob ... then you get the fk back out there and be a Lion ..... until your ready to have a lioness .. or lionesses

[Loki387]

After the honeymoon phase all the things you thought were cute become irritating as hell.

Have a exit strategy always

[DeniZen]

Whenever i see these type of threads I think you should be saying all this stuff to your girl. Just lay it out there and see what happens.

[Times Roman]

^ Probably the wisest thing anyone has said on this thread!

[warchild]

Im 18 and I just got married. I am extremly happy but I wasnt sure at all and from what I have heard from other dudes is........NO DUDE IS EVER SURE HE SHOULD GET MARRIED. Lol but seriously I wasnt sure and I am very happy now. I look at my marriage from a biblical standpoint to which helps me be sure it was the right thing to do. But if your not ready your not ready. At the end of the day you gota say could I see myself with this woman forever? If you can, then maybe stick to the relationship. But in another year or 2 if your still not ready and dont think your even beggining to be ready then id break it off. Like everyone else said its not really fair to her.

ahh you're soo young man. everybody i knew that got married at your age is divorced.

[gixxerboy1]

I would have killed myself before getting married at 18

[lovbyts]

I would have killed myself before getting married at 18

Well when you live in Arkansas and your cousin is the hottest thing around you have to get her before her brother does. LOL Then again, if she is 18 it's probably WAY to late already.

[chi]

When you are ready to marry it will hit you like a thunderbolt. I had recently felt that way and did not have the lest bit of desire to get married until I met this one girl but she turned out to be the biggest fraud. The truth and people's true nature comes out sooner or later. That is why so many on here are telling you one year is not enough and I am in total agreement.


addition*

people always bring their A game in the beginning and that goes for both men and woman. You have to go through some experiences and different scenarios with that person to actually see them for that what they are.