Pituitary insufficiency after infectious meningitis

[italiano68]

Hi all!

I was born in 68. At the age of 2 or 3 I had meningitis and that I believed was the cause of pituitary insufficiency after infectious meningitis.

I've been treated with GH because of height problem. I am 5'11'' but thin (bones structure/muscles), smalller skull/teeth.
I look younger, my hands and feet are thin. Basically, I am not completely developed in thickness.
I was lucky that my over all look is above average anyway. Plus I like pu%%y very much and I have actually above average down there. But looking younger and not that manly causes serious problems in society and business.
I have an IQ above average and I am very skilled. I have the personality, knowledge and life experience of a leader but I don't look like one. This is a big problem because I am not able to accommodate to lower positions.
Inside I am a boss, a leader, a chief but my outside doesn't match. This s--t is causing serious problems in my life. I go for the big stuff but in the end when problems arise, people don't take me in consideration as they should.
It's a big problem and I am about to really put an end to my f---ing life. Either I fix this or I go.

In the past I tried to talk to psychologist and endocrinologists but they always refuse any hormone replacement therapy because I they consider me in the average size, even if at the lowest limit.

Back in 92/93 I was 125Lbs. I had pu%%s anyway so I didn't care. I started working out to increase muscle and size and I reached 170/180Lbs. I checked my hormones and I found out low GH, IGF, FLH and Testosterone.
At that time I also tried to get testosterone to see the effect on muscles increase but for some reasons, I couldn't work out while under the therapy, and I actually stopped going to gym anyway. The effect of testosterone was curious though... My sexual intercourse were more aggressive, there was a change in the way I looked at women: I felt more animal. Anyway it was a short period and didn't effect me at all when the cycle was over.

When I was around 23/25 I got checked by a doctor who told me that my testicles were normal in size but at the lower limit. My testicles grew in the following years reaching a very decent size when I was 30/33 but I can bet that they still grow up to 3/4 years ago (around 40/41).

When I was 30 I moved from Italy to NYC. I have been eating a lot of red meat (steaks). I think I was addicted to red meat but I didn't know why. I found out that it increases testosterone level. I have been eating so much red meat that I think I had almost the effect (good and bad) of TRT. More libido, more stamina, stronger but also reduction of sperm count (at the age of 34 I was not able to made my ex girlfriend pregnant). Then, after 5 years, I lost my job so I was not able to afford steak every day. I had a loss of desire, loss of self confidence, slightly higher voice tone, shorter sex intercourse duration (from 2 hours to 15 minutes - from 3-4 times/day to 1 or less). My aspect also changed. More manly.

So moral of the story, I believe that if stimulated by GH, I am still in time to make my bones grow in thickness to the point of the Epiphysis calcification.

Any suggestions?

Thanks!
G

[Times Roman]

Welcome to the board!
I don't know where to start mate.
for one, you are of average stature, but of a slim build. I don't see why that is a cause to consider suicide? You want to be a leader, but get depressed when others don't allow it? It sounds like you still need to seek out professional help so you can sort things out, and not just so you can get steroids/gh.
You need to learn how to accept yourself as you are. You are AVERAGE. Almost all of us are. There is no shame or dishonor in that. but for some reason, you feel the need to be superior to others, and because you are not, you are depressed?
Next. Eating steak does NOT increase your testosterone levels! Where did you hear that? Really the only thing that will increase your testosterone is more testosterone (ignoring the effect of some aas).

If you want to increase your GH release, and your doc will not give it to you, there are a couple of ways of doing this.

Arginine - 7grams on an empty stomach right before sleep

or....

GABA - 2 grams on an empty stomach right before sleep

or....

Peptides
I've taken the following stack with moderate results...
GHRP-6
CJC 1295 w/o dac

I've seriously can't believe that YOU believe that not eating steak every day dropped your "sex intercourse duration (from 2 hours to 15 minutes - from 3-4 times/day to 1 or less)"

No matter what, you have some very serious learning to do with respect to diet and nutrition, hormonal systems, and a wide variety of other things.

Good luck!
---Roman

[ScotchGuard02]

My recommendation would be to go and get some blood work done. You might be low on Test, and at your age, and might be a good candidate for TRT. It's hard to get a script from a doctor for HGH. Most insurance doesn't want to pay for it because it's so expensive. If you go to an anti-aging center the Dr's there would be more than willing to give you a script because they sell HGH there. It is really expensive and the cost could range from $3,000 to $5,000 or more per month for HGH. At 44, I don't think HGH will cause the kind of physical change you're looking for. I think AAS is a better solution. The vet's will have good insights for you.