Sabotage by a Spouse or Significant Other

[trikydik]

Has anyone here ever had their work out routine, weight loss routine or other routine sabotaged by a spouse or significant other?

At the first of the year, when I went back to the gym, my wife was not really for it. She was afraid that I would get in shape and leave her. (She is morbidly obese and while she feels she is fat, she won't do anything about it.).... She was overweight when I met her, and she has gained about 40 pounds in the 5 years we have been married. I kept assuring her that I wouldn't leave her..

Now I am back in the gym after a summer break... Trying to loose 40 pounds and get into shape. In the past week, she has made pizza, ordered chinese take out, and is making pasta carbonara. The only 2 healthy meals she has eaten is chicken and poached fish that I made.

Has something similar happened to anyone else? If so, how did you deal with it?

[Bonaparte]

I don't touch fat women with a ten foot pole...so I'm going to do the same with this thread.

[Hazard]

She needs to be supportive of your goals regardless of hers. You will hate life man I'm tellin u.

My ex wife was the same way but not obese lol. She's my ex for good reason. My gf now WANTS me in the gym.

[DexterMorgan]

Whale whale whale, what do we have here.

My girlfriend goes to the gym with me sometimes, she just chills on the bench, texting. She's very supportive of it.
We eat junk all the time, but we're in shape.

Maybe you will inspire her to get in shape. Fear is a powerful motivator =)

[DAAS]

While I commend you for not leaving her, Maybe you should stop focusing on her sabotaging you at the gym and focus on motivating her to go. You cant live with her forever. If you love her and want her in the future, get her ass in shape.

[>Good Luck<]

Getting your self in shape will either motivate her or make you want to leave her imo. I think it would be impossible to live opposite lives

>good luck<
"He who can take advice is sometimes superior to those who give it"

[Lunk1]

I think it sounds like counseling would be beneficial..maybe for both of you.

[Cuz]

my wifes the same way bro....im not going into detail on the open.forum about it but I feel.your pain...

[austinite]

Help her. Sometimes blood work results and a talk from a doctor would be a good start.

[Back In Black]

Whale whale whale, what do we have here.

Bahahahaha, you funny fvcker

[Honkey_Kong]

Has anyone here ever had their work out routine, weight loss routine or other routine sabotaged by a spouse or significant other?

At the first of the year, when I went back to the gym, my wife was not really for it. She was afraid that I would get in shape and leave her. (She is morbidly obese and while she feels she is fat, she won't do anything about it.).... She was overweight when I met her, and she has gained about 40 pounds in the 5 years we have been married. I kept assuring her that I wouldn't leave her..

Now I am back in the gym after a summer break... Trying to loose 40 pounds and get into shape. In the past week, she has made pizza, ordered chinese take out, and is making pasta carbonara. The only 2 healthy meals she has eaten is chicken and poached fish that I made.

Has something similar happened to anyone else? If so, how did you deal with it?

So what you're telling us is that she's fat and you want to leave her, but want us to talk you out of it?

[diesel101]

my wifes the same way bro....im not going into detail on the open.forum about it but i feel.your pain...

x2!!!!

[DexterMorgan]

Bahahahaha, you funny fvcker

Damn spell check on my phone.

[DSM4Life]

[trikydik]

So what you're telling us is that she's fat and you want to leave her, but want us to talk you out of it?

- ugghhh no... At 45, I am pretty sure I can make that decision on my own if I want. I was actually looking for the advice I asked for...

Thanks for playing though!

[Rusty11]

It's probably not sabotage at all. This is the only way your wife knows how to eat. My wife loves to make beans, rice, and tortillas every meal. It can be challenging

[jasc]

It's not just your wife TD, it's people in general. It takes a rare breed to have the type of dedication that many do on here. Your wife probably goes back to unhealthy foods to get back in her "comfort zone". Try to find some healthy recipes that you both love and she will be more inclined to change her ways.

[Cuz]

Austin made a good point. you would think that high bp would make her change but it won (talking about mine). just tell her how you really feel, she will either get pissed off and/or hurt then she will decide to change if she really loves you and wants to keep you. bodybuilding has got in the way of my marriage and several other well known respected members I have talked to here. you are not alone.

[trikydik]

I heart a heart issue last year. Really woke me up... I am terrified that I am going to get a call that she has had a heart attack or something.

It's kind of weird. She is fat (not to be insensitive but she is and she is aware of the fact). She hates how she looks, but she will not do anything to change it. Her work has a free gym. She has not used it once in 3 years. I offered to pay for her gym membership at Golds is she would go with me and get up on the treadmill. Nope. Guess I am going to have to start doing all the cooking...

[songdog]

My sister did sh1t like that.Then I got her and her kid their own place.Then I dropped 20lbs

[Lunk1]

I heart a heart issue last year. Really woke me up... I am terrified that I am going to get a call that she has had a heart attack or something.

It's kind of weird. She is fat (not to be insensitive but she is and she is aware of the fact). She hates how she looks, but she will not do anything to change it. Her work has a free gym. She has not used it once in 3 years. I offered to pay for her gym membership at Golds is she would go with me and get up on the treadmill. Nope. Guess I am going to have to start doing all the cooking...

My wife and I fought for years over her weight. I pushed and pushed for her to eat better and exercise harder. She was never lazy fat mind you, just loved to eat and hated to do much more than an enjoyable walk for cardio. I promise you one thing! It won't happen until SHE wants it and the more you push, the less likely she will want to. Ok, that's 2 things but they are very true.

She finally made the decision on her own after I stopped pushing and lost over 80 pounds. She looks amazing and busted her ass for 3 years to lose the weight. I bet I could tell you almost exactly how some of the conversation go around your place.

[Hazard]

Mine was all fine with me using aas while we were dating. Once we got engaged she started changing her mind. After we got married she went nuts..... She forbid me to use aas. She'd try to check me for needle marks. Then she started resenting me goin to the gym.

[GirlyGymRat]

seems this is going to be a rocky road. not much you can do cuz she has got to want to change.

now I do want to make sure i understand this situation. Does she have time to workout? is there day care available that kids (if any) can be cared for while she grabs a workout? working out is only a small part of the bigger problem cuz her food choices must be terrible. maybe she really doesn't know what a healthy day's worth of food looks like. Maybe she needs a dietitian or someone to help her OTHER THAN YOU to get this information. surely her doctor can't be thrilled with her stats. AND IF SHE WAS HONEST, she probably isn't happy either. Blood work is a good idea just to make sure she's not having an issue with thyroid or some other female hormone.

Your a good husband to say you won't leave her. i would not let ANYONE sabotage my health, my diet, my goals. we get one body and it;s easy to mess it up. wish you the best.

and don't be buying her a gift certificate to the cheese cake factory.

[Cuz]

Mine was all fine with me using aas while we were dating. Once we got engaged she started changing her mind. After we got married she went nuts..... She forbid me to use aas. She'd try to check me for needle marks. Then she started resenting me goin to the gym.

You hit the nail on the head bro, EX-ACTLY lol

[Hazard]

You hit the nail on the head bro, EX-ACTLY lol

Lol did u do what I did? I said " listen..... If u really wanna know if I'm using - you'll see pin marks in my ass. It's the only place that can fully absorb aas. It can't be injected anywhere else"

Then id shoot delts n tris lmfao

[GirlyGymRat]

i don't think a relationship is healthy if can't be honest with each other other everything. if someone can't accept you for who you and your dreams and your hobbies (provided your not a stupid 17 yo doing AAS)…..move on. no one is worth that kind of control freak insecurity BS

[Hazard]

i don't think a relationship is healthy if can't be honest with each other other everything. if someone can't accept you for who you and your dreams and your hobbies (provided your not a stupid 17 yo doing AAS).....move on. no one is worth that kind of control freak insecurity BS

Yep..... This is why I'm finally in a good place. My gf fully supports me. She wants me to compete..... She wakes up just to cook my breakfast. She really goes above and beyond.

Much much happier now

[trikydik]

seems this is going to be a rocky road. not much you can do cuz she has got to want to change. now I do want to make sure i understand this situation.

Does she have time to workout? - yes she has plenty of time
is there day care available that kids (if any) can be cared for while she grabs a workout? no kids
working out is only a small part of the bigger problem cuz her food choices must be terrible. maybe she really doesn't know what a healthy day's worth of food looks like. Maybe she needs a dietitian or someone to help her OTHER THAN YOU to get this information. - hmmm never thought about giving her a dietician...
surely her doctor can't be thrilled with her stats. - he is not
AND IF SHE WAS HONEST, she probably isn't happy either. - no.. when ever I look at her (like a loving husband does) she gets upset because she is disgusting (her words not mine)
Blood work is a good idea just to make sure she's not having an issue with thyroid or some other female hormone.
and don't be buying her a gift certificate to the cheese cake factory. - never

Now while I am the loving husband... I will say something that will piss the women off..... her weight is very unattractive.. there are a lot of hotter chicks at the gym... do my eyes wander? yes... does any other part of me.. no... but if it keeps going this way... it is hard...

[Cuz]

Does she have time to workout? - yes she has plenty of time
is there day care available that kids (if any) can be cared for while she grabs a workout? no kids
working out is only a small part of the bigger problem cuz her food choices must be terrible. maybe she really doesn't know what a healthy day's worth of food looks like. Maybe she needs a dietitian or someone to help her OTHER THAN YOU to get this information. - hmmm never thought about giving her a dietician...
surely her doctor can't be thrilled with her stats. - he is not
AND IF SHE WAS HONEST, she probably isn't happy either. - no.. when ever I look at her (like a loving husband does) she gets upset because she is disgusting (her words not mine)
Blood work is a good idea just to make sure she's not having an issue with thyroid or some other female hormone.
and don't be buying her a gift certificate to the cheese cake factory. - never

Now while I am the loving husband... I will say something that will piss the women off..... her weight is very unattractive.. there are a lot of hotter chicks at the gym... do my eyes wander? yes... does any other part of me.. no... but if it keeps going this way... it is hard...

If you continue to train/use aas you will eventually slip. Im telling you. Its a subject i like to leave left under the rug and in the past...

Kind of shocks me though, no kids? Plenty of time to workout? dang thats got to be tuff on you.

[GirlyGymRat]

Yep..... This is why I'm finally in a good place. My gf fully supports me. She wants me to compete..... She wakes up just to cook my breakfast. She really goes above and beyond.

Much much happier now

I can tell by your posts that you are much happier now then a couple years back. Happy for you!

[GirlyGymRat]

[QUOTE="trikydik"

Now while I am the loving husband... I will say something that will piss the women off..... her weight is very unattractive.. there are a lot of hotter chicks at the gym... do my eyes wander? yes... does any other part of me.. no... but if it keeps going this way... it is hard...[/QUOTE]

Men look at other women even when their woman is a hot babe. Men are hard wired to look. Staring is another issue lol.

Your wife sounds like she is in a bad place. New Years is coming so maybe you can leverage a New Year resolution to her advantage. She really maynot understand just how little food is required to maintain a healthy weight?!?

Also the next time she says she is in attractive bc of her weight, reassure her that you love her and will support her to achieve a healthier lifestyle. Make it all about her and being a partner. Altho she might me better off with a weight watcher program cuz u don't want her to start taking her fruit rations out on you!

Personally I could never be with a morbidly obese guy. call me superficial blah blah blah. It's not a lifestyle I can appreciate.

[Igifuno]

.Blood work is a good idea just to make sure she's not having an issue with thyroid or some other female hormone.

Exactly what I was going to say. It's not just men who can benefit from this and bloodwork can tell a lot about what's going on inside someone. Could be a number of things, including estrogen issues. Would absolutely recommend her getting in there for bloodwork.

[Honkey_Kong]

Yep..... This is why I'm finally in a good place. My gf fully supports me. She wants me to compete..... She wakes up just to cook my breakfast. She really goes above and beyond.

Much much happier now

Your girlfriend have a sexier sister?

Your ex wife sounded more like she had a security issue though. You think she thought that the bigger you got, the more likely you'd leave her?

[lovbyts]

Yep..... This is why I'm finally in a good place. My gf fully supports me. She wants me to compete..... She wakes up just to cook my breakfast. She really goes above and beyond.

Much much happier now

Your girlfriend have a sexier YOUNGER sister?

Your ex wife sounded more like she had a security issue though. You think she thought that the bigger you got, the more likely you'd leave her?

I fixed it for you buddy.

[Honkey_Kong]

I fixed it for you buddy.

Sexier would imply younger.

[trikydik]

Sexier would imply younger.

Not even close... I know a lot of older women who are sexier than hell... and a lot of younger women who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire...

[lovbyts]

Not even close... I know a lot of older women who are sexier than hell... and a lot of younger women who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire...

Yeah but we are talking about Sisters so typically it's pretty comparable although not always. Example, my daughter's violin teacher is in her late 20s, very attractive. Her younger sister who is early 20s, no so much but not bad. The youngest sister who is late teens, very very cute/attractive.

Usually though if you have a much older sibling and a younger one one the younger one usually has more redeeming qualities.

[Honkey_Kong]

Not even close... I know a lot of older women who are sexier than hell... and a lot of younger women who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire...

The older women who are sexier than hell are the exception to the rule. They do exist and when they do, they're really fvcking sexy. But it's a pretty rare thing among sexy women for there to be an older one.

[lovbyts]

The older women who are sexier than hell are the exception to the rule. They do exist and when they do, they're really fvcking sexy. But it's a pretty rare thing among sexy women for there to be an older one.

I'm sure you know what I like best about the older sexy women dont you? Yup, their young sexy daughters.

[Honkey_Kong]

I'm sure you know what I like best about the older sexy women dont you? Yup, their young sexy daughters.

I'll take the one on the right AND the one on the left.