Depressed, Sugestions on what to do next?

[onetwonine]

Started my cycle last thursday with a Test E pin.

I had left my AI (arimidex) at my parents place, but I got it today.

Today I took 0.5mg of adex as well as my first 50mg of Dbol, and since about an hour ago I feel like utter shit.

Now I'm going to chalk this up to either high or low E2. I'm just not sure which.

I don't have any other estrogen side, no bloat, no itchy nipples (ive itched them a couple times but im fairly certain thats my anxious mind ****ing with me). As far as I know though that doesn't preclude having high E.

What do you guys think I should do, take another dose of adex tomorrow? Or drop it down to 0.25 and take that thursday?

Think it's High E or Low E? I know there is no definitive way of knowing, just asking for an educated guess or two.

[austinite]

Get blood work. Adjust accordingly. Abort the cycle if it persists.

[onetwonine]

Uhm bloodwork isn't happening in canada. Regardless, if I got bloodwork the results would be a couple weeks from now. Just tinker around for now?

[austinite]

Uhm. Yes it is. Others do it. Cycling without blood work is irresponsible. You should abort the cycle.

[dlex]

believe me on this DO NOT!!!!!!! risk depression unless you want constant suicidal taughts my 2c

[OnTheSauce]

Uhm. Yes it is. Others do it. Cycling without blood work is irresponsible. You should abort the cycle.

You know only about 10% even on this board get bloodwork. Even less irl

[austinite]

You know only about 10% even on this board get bloodwork. Even less irl

Yes I do. And I believe that over 95% are irresponsible.

[toppinm]

I got bloodwork done....once. You're not far enough into your test e to be experiencing those kinds of symptoms it's probably all in your head.

[dlex]

I got bloodwork done....once. You're not far enough into your test e to be experiencing those kinds of symptoms it's probably all in your head.

i would tend to agree youll only be shutting down but any signs of deprestion need to be treated by a dr not a laughing matter

[onetwonine]

Uhm. Yes it is. Others do it. Cycling without blood work is irresponsible. You should abort the cycle.

Uhm no it isnt. Not really. The only way you can get blood work done up here is with a GP requisition.

Now I may do that, you know what I probably will. BUT UNTIL THEN (appointment, requisition, bloodwork, results) what do you think I should do.

If its going to be some asinine quip about responsibility and the 17 things you do to make take lots of d*r*u*gs super safe please don't bother responding. I can read the sticky.

[onetwonine]

I got bloodwork done....once. You're not far enough into your test e to be experiencing those kinds of symptoms it's probably all in your head.

Yeah but cant the adex still bring my E down too far?

Thats still a possibility yes?

[austinite]

Uhm no it isnt. Not really. The only way you can get blood work done up here is with a GP requisition.

Now I may do that, you know what I probably will. BUT UNTIL THEN (appointment, requisition, bloodwork, results) what do you think I should do.

If its going to be some asinine quip about responsibility and the 17 things you do to make take lots of d*r*u*gs super safe please don't bother responding. I can read the sticky.

Poor attitude on your part from the beginning. You'll be like the rest, complaining about fatigue and all sorts of issues because your blood is so thick your heart is stressed like no other. All because you're too lazy to get blood work.

Abort the cycle, it's in your best interest. Not to mention you're only 21 years old. Still a baby. Not even developed. Even more reason to abort

Abort.

[toppinm]

Yeah but cant the adex still bring my E down too far?

Thats still a possibility yes?

Unlikely. Stop the adex until you see bloat then continue. I wouldn't stop just on this basis unless you're seriously suicidal. Take a deep breath, realize its in your head and if you can then continue.

[onetwonine]

Poor attitude on your part from the beginning. You'll be like the rest, complaining about fatigue and all sorts of issues because your blood is so thick your heart is stressed like no other. All because you're too lazy to get blood work.

Abort the cycle, it's in your best interest. Not to mention you're only 21 years old. Still a baby. Not even developed. Even more reason to abort

Abort.

No.

I'm 25. Surely you aren't looking through my online profile taking my age seriously? I just threw that up there.

No I'm 25.

And I'm not going to abort.

I said I'm going go get blood work. Play internet psychologist elsewhere, you're embarrassingly bad at it.

Is this your super secret club big guy? You don't want me to be part of it? Tsk tsk, play nice.

[austinite]

No. You're 21. And your vocabulary is indicative of that of an 18 year old.

I monitor the forums, it's my job. So I will not "go away".

Stop lying about your stats because no one on this forum will appreciate a compulsive liar.

[onetwonine]

Unlikely. Stop the adex until you see bloat then continue. I wouldn't stop just on this basis unless you're seriously suicidal. Take a deep breath, realize its in your head and if you can then continue.

Thanks. I'm off to bed before the support circle arrives to soother austins feewings.

[onetwonine]

No. You're 21. And your vocabulary is indicative of that of an 18 year old.

I monitor the forums, it's my job. So I will not "go away".

Stop lying about your stats because no one on this forum will appreciate a compulsive liar.

Nope, man I'll be 26 tomorrow actually. Can't wait!

Good one about my vocabulary though. Incisive stuff.

Gnite sweetie.

[austinite]

Nope, man I'll be 26 tomorrow actually. Can't wait!

Good one about my vocabulary though. Incisive stuff.

Gnite sweetie.

Keep it up...

Your posts on other forums are contradictory. And you've admitted to having a severe and untreated anxiety problem. A 3rd reason to abort. Stop being a compulsive liar.

Setting yourself up failure.

[dlex]

well seeing as you wont listen to any advice welcome to the world of depression and with that attitude you wont last long in it i dont care if your 18 or 45 it sucks so shut up and listen everyones hear to help not tell you what you want to hear

[toppinm]

Keep it up...

Your posts on other forums are contradictory. And you've admitted to having a severe and untreated anxiety problem. A 3rd reason to abort. Stop being a compulsive liar.

Setting yourself up failure.

For someone who claims to be a mod you're not very professional. Instead if being so hostile to people who don't agree with you why not try and help this man with something he's going to do with or without your permission.

[austinite]

For someone who claims to be a mod you're not very professional. Instead if being so hostile to people who don't agree with you why not try and help this man with something he's going to do with or without your permission.

I did give him advice. Stay out of this...

[toppinm]

I did give him advice. Stay out of this...

Someone who lectures about lying about their stats but has a pic of dlb as their avatar is ummm...fishy. Maybe you don't want anyone to see your wreckage? Get bloodwork should not be the automatic answer to all members problems. Regardless he should not be experiencing depression this soon into his cycle I don't have to know my shit to know that. All mental sides are just that and should be addressed that way.

[austinite]

Someone who lectures about lying about their stats but has a pic of dlb as their avatar is ummm...fishy. Maybe you don't want anyone to see your wreckage? Get bloodwork should not be the automatic answer to all members problems. Regardless he should not be experiencing depression this soon into his cycle I don't have to know my shit to know that. All mental sides are just that and should be addressed that way.

lol, it's an avatar. Sorry you're not fond of it.

I guess you don't get it. I looked into the guys' history, he knows exactly what I'm talking about. He has a medical issue, according to him. This isn't a safe cycle for him.

Check your PM.

[Gezzz]

Ummm... I might take a shot in advising you. I also am around your age, and I have suffered from Chronic depression, post-traumatic stress, anxiety and panic attacks also terrible Migraines mostly brought up from the wars I witnessed back home in the 90's as a child and then later on in life when I joined the army, So unlike most people here who might not know what you are going through I actually get were you are coming from although I never got depression from gear, and I was on Test, Deca, Tren, D-bols...etc

Although I don't think your depression is any where near as sever as mine was, if I managed to pretty much overcome and get it 90% under control so can you & I don't believe gear has that much impact on your mental well being as people make it out I think most of it is down to your personality and past traumatic events and how well you know to handle them. so here we go..

1. occupy your self with something, don't sit around the house doing nothing because your gnna feel like the walls are closing on you, I would go out for a run even if it was 2-3am or if during the day Id go 2 the church that always gave me peace so you find what you like and make you happy/happier.

2. avoid any thing that makes you feel sad, down...etc like reminders of a bad time or some one you lost, like crappy love songs and shit like that just make it worse, especially if you are single.

3. If you have a girlfriend or wife she can be a big help so talk 2 her.

4. try watching stand up comedy or anything that makes you laugh, youtube is a good place: watching stupid people hurting them self out of stupidity.

5. as a last resort what would calm me down is 2mg of Diazepam, but I would strongly suggest that you use this as a last resort coz believe me its not a good thing to be hooked on especially whilst on gear.

I hope that can help

[poppz]

I might feel a lil down if I dont keep up my diet an workout an.lose a lil weight post cycle buttt dont ever feel like that.

[toppinm]

^^^good advise. I'm rated by the veterans administration at 30% for depression gear makes me feel 100% better.

[Gezzz]

He has a medical issue, according to him. This isn't a safe cycle for him.

If his issues are emotional that is no reason to stop or not do cycles.... well its never been for me. although other cases are different.
I think toppinm is right even as a normal member let alone an mod i think its better to try and help some one with a problem then chastise him because that would just make it worse.

[dlex]

gezzz aas has a profound effect on mental health testosterone controls alot of brain functions without it you get depressed suffer anxiety find everyday taught prossesing harder trust me i know this i also suffer migraines mine pretty much blind me and forget about balance i also lose speech and verbal and mental reasoning for awhile after dont ever play down the effect a hormone can have on the body they control it mate and true depression at the moment can only be treated with drugs iv tried everything else and its a load of bunk luckily mines trt related so goes away whilst on trt

[dlex]

dude its 100% reason to stop unresolved anxiety and depression coupled with a suden surge in test can cause extreme suicidal taughts it effects the brains processing ability its too dangerous for this dude to be on anything not provided by his dr

[Gezzz]

^^^good advise. I'm rated by the veterans administration at 30% for depression gear makes me feel 100% better.

hehe yea some people feel better on it, also we don't have this depression rating here like you have in the states.

[Gezzz]

Thank god that is one thing I have never contemplated (suicide) even in my worst days.
Although I totally agree that depression is mainly treated by medz, I'm always very reluctant to tell people go and take it I just feel bad as that stuff sometimes in high dosage turns me into a vegetable my I have found that with my wife's help and the help of my former probation officer who was also an squadi, I have managed to really cut down on using medz and I think most people can just just need to find the right method for you.
as for migraines that's a different story there is nothing but pillz that can fix that.

[toppinm]

hehe yea some people feel better on it, also we don't have this depression rating here like you have in the states.

Yea lol here the va will rate you for just about anything. Thank god for the hippies.

[dlex]

yup meds are a nightmare man all mine turned me into a raging psycho id snap your head off for saying hello but thankfully low t related depression is easily curable yup theres still no definitive answer as to what causes migraines mine actually respond to higher test levels so i get less of them maybe theres a link maybe my bodys in perfect balance at a higher t level who knows experimentation is all you can do certain migraine meds dont work on me only stronger ones oh well they are a b*tch

[Gezzz]

Yea lol here the va will rate you for just about anything. Thank god for the hippies.

LoL do their rate your thetan levels like in scientology... hahhaha

Well its good to have a good veterans organisation, especially from what I have been seeing in the news about the high number of suicide in the US military more than the amount that died in Afgan & Iraq combined its pretty alarming the gov needs to give these people help and its seems a world wide situation there was a documentary the other day on BBC about Turkish commandos suffering real bad after conflict with the PKK-kurds, most countries neglect veterans and most civis will never understand once you become a soldiers especially at a young age that is what you will know to do all your life and in your mind you still still be back at the barracks

[Gezzz]

Dud u need 2 be careful try not to socialise when you are raging that is what I do, I mean I learned pretty good to control my self, I thank the army for that a lot coz of the discipline but it can end up getting you in serious trouble, I own a security company and till 6 months ago I use to also work doors my self when i was short on staff and once night after a really bad 2 weeks and no medz and a very arrogant and obnoxious so called cage fighter came to one of my venues got tipsy and started being violent towards costumers and staff and after ejecting him from the venue he sneaked back in once i tried to make him leave again he got exited and I lashed out at him quiet badly and when it came to court they didn't care that about my mental health or his provocations they still suspended me from working security and got a suspended sentence so now I have to sit my ass in the office and do paper work cant work security for 3 years. and amazingly i wast not on any gear actually the last cycle i did when this incident happened was some 3 months.
so make sure you stay on the medz u were prescribed and try get some anger-management i use to think its a bunch of bull but it does work to a certain extend.

and as for roidrage i kinda found out that if some one is generally an a$$hole then they will use gear as an excuse to be a bigger a$$hole...lol my brother is like that

Also for migraines the best thing is some thing called Caffetin (kafetin) google.

[toppinm]

LoL do their rate your thetan levels like in scientology... hahhaha

Well its good to have a good veterans organisation, especially from what I have been seeing in the news about the high number of suicide in the US military more than the amount that died in Afgan & Iraq combined its pretty alarming the gov needs to give these people help and its a same situation world wide there was a documentary the other day on BBC about Turkish commandos suffering bad after conflict with the PKK-kurds, most countries neglect veterans

I agree. Ever since 9/11 veterans benefits have increased significantly due to heavy support. Unfortunately it's taken advantage of at the same level as food stamps and unemployment. I have seen soldiers get paid for PTSD that never even saw combat. At some levels it's quite ridiculous and it's a major factor contributing to national debt despite people reluctance to talk about it.

[Gezzz]

/\/\/\ well you do get there pretty much everywhere people trying to scam money from the system and leave people that need it with nothing, here we have people claiming disability benefits and government is giving them free cars but it goes mainly to people who dont need it and its creating a welfare dependant culture.

[toppinm]

I.e. the lady who lives next to me that drives a brand new Cadillac but works at....subway.

[Gezzz]

[Juced_porkchop]

Started my cycle last thursday with a Test E pin.

I had left my AI (arimidex) at my parents place, but I got it today.

Today I took 0.5mg of adex as well as my first 50mg of Dbol, and since about an hour ago I feel like utter shit.

Now I'm going to chalk this up to either high or low E2. I'm just not sure which.

I don't have any other estrogen side, no bloat, no itchy nipples (ive itched them a couple times but im fairly certain thats my anxious mind ****ing with me). As far as I know though that doesn't preclude having high E.

What do you guys think I should do, take another dose of adex tomorrow? Or drop it down to 0.25 and take that thursday?

Think it's High E or Low E? I know there is no definitive way of knowing, just asking for an educated guess or two.

probably high E, dbol is REALLY bad for estrogen and Dex and other AI... well you are going to need o take that for 1-2 weeks before you expect to notice much from it. one dose is not gonna do much...

Get blood work to know for sure