Dear Abs, its not you, its me...

[Charlie67]

Dear Abs,

It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

I know that given my New Year’s resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, it’s becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. I’m sure you’ve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just don’t share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. It’s as if I don’t even know you anymore.

As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship – remember Daytona in ‘95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

Please don’t blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know you’ve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it weren’t for you, he’d have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chili’s? Not everyone will do that for you.

Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but it’s time to move on to a two-pack. Please know you’ll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

Best,
C-

[ghettoboyd]

you are a good writer brother that was hilarious...I can relate my 45th birthday is march 28th...

[Capebuffalo]

I have two options. I can see abs or I can see beer. I chose beer. Sorry abs. I love beer.

[kelkel]

Quite funny Charlie! Probably not the same as writing all those letters to Penthouse forum though....

[BG]

Hahahaha very good, 2 is better then none in my book............

[Zodiac82]

Lol..pretty funny

[Marsoc]

Dear Abs,

It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

I know that given my New Year’s resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, it’s becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. I’m sure you’ve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just don’t share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. It’s as if I don’t even know you anymore.

As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship – remember Daytona in ‘95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

Please don’t blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know you’ve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it weren’t for you, he’d have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chili’s? Not everyone will do that for you.

Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but it’s time to move on to a two-pack. Please know you’ll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

Best,
C-

lol don't blame big penis lmao

[wellshii]

Good stuff here, being a writer myself(for fun not as of compensation yet)
.Me like.

[Charlie67]

you are a good writer brother that was hilarious...I can relate my 45th birthday is march 28th...

Happy Birthday! ... It's just a number my friend, keep up the good fight.

[Charlie67]

Quite funny Charlie! Probably not the same as writing all those letters to Penthouse forum though....

Penthouse forum...? Kel, the 90's called, they want their porn back.

Btw, did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't pay my rent? And my landlord sent his super hot 20 yr old twin daughters over to ask me for the rent money, but since I couldn't pay, her and her sister suggested another arrangement.....

[Charlie67]

I have two options. I can see abs or I can see beer. I chose beer. Sorry abs. I love beer.

"Milk is for babies, when you grow up you have to drink beer"
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

[DROY]

Dear Abs,

It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

I know that given my New Year’s resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, it’s becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. I’m sure you’ve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just don’t share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. It’s as if I don’t even know you anymore.

As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship – remember Daytona in ‘95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

Please don’t blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know you’ve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it weren’t for you, he’d have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chili’s? Not everyone will do that for you.

Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but it’s time to move on to a two-pack. Please know you’ll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

Best,
C-

Sadly, at 59 I can relate to the pain...

[kelkel]

Penthouse forum...? Kel, the 90's called, they want their porn back.

Btw, did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't pay my rent? And my landlord sent his super hot 20 yr old twin daughters over to ask me for the rent money, but since I couldn't pay, her and her sister suggested another arrangement.....

But you knew what I meant!

And that's my story, don't bogart it.

[Sh0tsf1red]

This was gold!