Does it pay to date a woman who already has a child with another man?

[JaneDoe]

So I met a girl who looks nice and a good woman.
But what intrigues me about taking a serious relationship with her is that she already has children with her ex-husband from a failed marriage.What's your opinion about it, would you date a girl who already has children with another guy if you were liking her?

[GearHeaded]

you do know that means she's not a virgin right, and she has taken other mens dicks into her vagina

^ thats a joke btw

in reality . whats it matter. relationships are about relationships with people themselves and not necessarily their situation or place in life.. enjoy someone for who they are in and of themselves

[JaneDoe]

you do know that means she's not a virgin right, and she has taken other mens dicks into her vagina

^ thats a joke btw

in reality . whats it matter. relationships are about relationships with people themselves and not necessarily their situation or place in life.. enjoy someone for who they are in and of themselves

My mind is still very closed, I always think I may have problems with her ex husband.She and he still have a relationship as friends.
I don't know if I'm wrong, but maybe she might have a relapse with him.
Every weekend he picks up the child with her.

[GearHeaded]

I wouldn't be concerned with it . in reality she has already banged him a ton of times in every which way imaginable.. sp what would it really matter if she "relapsed". nothing for you to be jealous over .
heck maybe at the end of the day she'll want to do double penetration with him and you

[KINGKONG]

I did it In my last relationship..so I’ll tell you my opinion..I spent 3-4 months getting used to the kids, then after about 6 I fell in love with them..I enjoyed their company..I played video games and sports with lil boy and the lil girl was so darling and smart, that it still hurts 18 months later..after 3 years, you grow to really take these children in as they are you own..her ex husband, greatly respected my efforts and the kids liked me more then him it seemed at times..here’s the downside..you break up with the girl, the kids go with..they are not yours and never will be and they will always want bio dads love, because he is bio dad..that was my first and last time ever doing that..our breakup was harder on kids and harder on me, then a normal one..male human nature is as such, that we will adopt and get feelings for others kids..it’s a survival instinct to keep our population up our species making it..(I always compare traits of men’s to animals, because that’s my belief is we are)
Point is, your damned if you do and damned if you don’t...either way that kid isn’t yours..
Dont mean to be harsh maybe some other guys arnt so jaded on the subject..
Funny thing is I always was the guy who was “I’ll never ever be that guy”
Truth is too hard to find a women over 25 without at least one as iam guessing C27 is gonna say below lol
Most the good ones get married and have kids outta college..

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[C27H40O3]

You must be a youngin.

After chicks are in their early twenties, it’s hard to find one with no kids. I always preferred dating a chick with a kid, even when I had no kids.

I found them to be much less selfish once they have kids. They realize the world don’t revolve around them. They understand that sometimes you have to sacrifice for another person.

Young single chicks with no kids are spoiled beotches. They just want want want, and don’t like to give. They are lazy and never want to do anything if it doesn’t entertain them.

Chicks with a kid usually know better how to cook, clean, and take care of others.

That’s just my experience. Your mileage may vary.


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[JaneDoe]

I did it In my last relationship..so I’ll tell you my opinion..I spent 3-4 months getting used to the kids, then after about 6 I fell in love with them..I enjoyed their company..I played video games and sports with lil boy and the lil girl was so darling and smart, that it still hurts 18 months later..after 3 years, you grow to really take these children in as they are you own..her ex husband, greatly respected my efforts and the kids liked me more then him it seemed at times..here’s the downside..you break up with the girl, the kids go with..they are not yours and never will be and they will always want bio dads love, because he is bio dad..that was my first and last time ever doing that..our breakup was harder on kids and harder on me, then a normal one..male human nature is as such, that we will adopt and get feelings for others kids..it’s a survival instinct to keep our population up our species making it..(I always compare traits of men’s to animals, because that’s my belief is we are)
Point is, your damned if you do and damned if you don’t...either way that kid isn’t yours..
Dont mean to be harsh maybe some other guys arnt so jaded on the subject..
Funny thing is I always was the guy who was “I’ll never ever be that guy”
Truth is too hard to find a women over 25 without at least one as iam guessing C27 is gonna say below lol
Most the good ones get married and have kids outta college..

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Thanks for sharing a bit of your story.

[KINGKONG]

Thanks for sharing a bit of your story.

No problem..Just my experience if you were 100 percent sure it was forever and you wanted kids but couldn’t have them or won’t, might be a different story..might get some fulfillment from helping kids grow up better then they would have..just my opinion
I give decent advice I don’t always follow..

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[JaneDoe]

You must be a youngin.

After chicks are in their early twenties, it’s hard to find one with no kids. I always preferred dating a chick with a kid, even when I had no kids.

I found them to be much less selfish once they have kids. They realize the world don’t revolve around them. They understand that sometimes you have to sacrifice for another person.

Young single chicks with no kids are spoiled beotches. They just want want want, and don’t like to give. They are lazy and never want to do anything if it doesn’t entertain them.

Chicks with a kid usually know better how to cook, clean, and take care of others.

That’s just my experience. Your mileage may vary.


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You're right!

[BG]

If you do, don’t get involved with the kids for the first 3-6 months. Keep it light and get to know each other then go from there.

[KINGKONG]

If you do, don’t get involved with the kids for the first 3-6 months. Keep it light and get to know each other then go from there.

Good advice!!!


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[teejey]

If youre wondering if it monetarily pays. I just got a summary of my child support payments and I've paid over 80k. Her husband doesn't do shit thinks hes a fuckin rapper. So kinda it might.

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[< <Samson> >]

Depends


I wouldn't take one on, unless the kids r grown or maybe they have one < maybe


And, that shit has to be so worth it

[Cuz]

Unless you look like a bodybuilder and are dating an old rich granny the no it doesnt pay

[Obs]

So I met a girl who looks nice and a good woman.
But what intrigues me about taking a serious relationship with her is that she already has children with her ex-husband from a failed marriage.What's your opinion about it, would you date a girl who already has children with another guy if you were liking her?

Subd 4 later

[Fiskevatten]

So I met a girl who looks nice and a good woman.
But what intrigues me about taking a serious relationship with her is that she already has children with her ex-husband from a failed marriage.What's your opinion about it, would you date a girl who already has children with another guy if you were liking her?

My honest opinion is def NO - if you do not have your own kids already.
Yes, I fully understand that it will limit my options to find a great girl and in the same time makes me kind of an assh*le.

If she WOW you, like truly bring something else to the table than any other girl you have ever met, then sure - give it a try.
If she is kinda nice and would become a good gf, those sounds like "decent", not "wow".
Kids will bring a lot of responsibility, having another dude included in that (if he hasn't left?) makes it awkward atleast for me.
You will never love those kids as your own if you do not have an extremely open heart and they're young enough for
you to be the start of their life.

If you do not have your own kids, then she has already gone through those amazing moments with another guy.
In return you will be lost and she will be ready = not the same share experience imho.
It might even be an inconvenience to have another kid together from a life or economical perspective.

Lastly, the marriage failed for some reason when it needed to hold the most - that is a warning for me.
This is not a "breakup", but a failed marriage, different.

[< <Samson> >]

Unless you look like a bodybuilder and are dating an old rich granny the no it doesnt pay

And this is not tempting how?!

[KINGKONG]

And this is not tempting how?!

In a Porsche 911 turbo and mansion kinda way..I just don’t care enough to break some old ladies hip for cash...
Well maybe a lot of cash


“Used to think I knew it all, then got older”

[Obs]

As BG said do not get involved with the kids for a long time and I wouldn't put a time limit on it.

Finely tuned advice for what you have told us about yourself... You are a strong christian moral man and are worried about her ex.

If you go into any relationship afraid the other will cheat then you are not ready for a relationship period. It should be the last thing on your mind and I also advise, do not date trying to create a relationship.
You start trying to build it and it turns into manipulation and worry. Then you systematically break it down.

The first year should fall in place like it was meant to be. No fighting/arguing or stress. You build her up, (not tell her lies) and she will reveal herself to you.

People hear shit like "relationships are hard work!"

Uh... Maybe after the new is gone. No longer excited like before. I see too many people "Try" when all they need to do is walk away. They walk in, hoping for their life to suddenly be forever changed. Obvious connections necessary, just arent there and they lie to themselves and each to keep it going; until it has disastrous consequences.

I tell my kids to focus on their career they want, (yes already) then buy a starter house and pay it off. Then and only then, think about getting in a serious relationship. Until then, all they can do is limit their potential, with a serious commited relationship.

Would I advise my kid to get in a relationship, without these things, and with someone who has kids?

Hell no.

Its not equally yoked.
Its uneven as fuck and the previous relationship will not put you on the same level as her. She, will likely be ten times the manipulator you are; especially if you have an insecurity. She, has seen all that before and you haven't.

I, would let her find some guy that has kids himself.
That way, he knows the games and they both have the same things at stake.

Never take on more baggage than you are yourself.
It's a very very dumb thing to do.

Since she is the better manipulator, (and believe me, she will be) she can likely sucker you in until you are heavily invested then she will pull a 180° on you. You will have to give up every damn thing that makes you, you to please her and you will wind up no longer being able to take it.

Also, the exes that are friends is 100% bullshit.
Once you divorce its nothing more than bare minimal business.

"We stay friends for the kids."

Lmao! GMAFB!
I have kids. I just went and got them at custody exchange. Didnt say two words to the bitch.
I go to their sports games etc. The ex and I dont talk.
We used to.

Then I realized... This bitch left me... And its 2AM... She just texted... How does that make my gf feel? How would it make me feel?

Heres how exes can communicate having children:

"7:00 pm thurday"

"Yes"

"Ok"

They dont hold hands, go to dinner, or confide anything in one another.

This ain't my first rodeo and when someone with kids, meets someone with kids, it's an entirely different game; than someone without baggage, being with someone permanently affixed to two innocent lives.
The standards and goals going in are totally different.

[Obs]

PLEASE re read my last post, I edited a lot. 15 years x2 relationships, on the subject.

I can honestly say, if my current relationship fails... It will be my fault.

It's a fact.

[C27H40O3]

As BG said do not get involved with the kids for a long time and I wouldn't put a time limit on it.

Finely tuned advice for what you have told us about yourself... You are a strong christian moral man and are worried about her ex.

If you go into any relationship afraid the other will cheat then you are not ready for a relationship period. It should be the last thing on your mind and I also advise, do not date trying to create a relationship.
You start trying to build it and it turns into manipulation and worry. Then you systematically break it down.

The first year should fall in place like it was meant to be. No fighting/arguing or stress. You build her up, (not tell her lies) and she will reveal herself to you.

People hear shit like "relationships are hard work!"

Uh... Maybe after the new is gone. No longer excited like before. I see too many people "Try" when all they need to do is walk away. They walk in, hoping for their life to suddenly be forever changed. Obvious connections necessary, just arent there and they lie to themselves and each to keep it going; until it has disastrous consequences.

I tell my kids to focus on their career they want, (yes already) then buy a starter house and pay it off. Then and only then, think about getting in a serious relationship. Until then, all they can do is limit their potential, with a serious commited relationship.

Would I advise my kid to get in a relationship, without these things, and with someone who has kids?

Hell no.

Its not equally yoked.
Its uneven as fuck and the previous relationship will not put you on the same level as her. She, will likely be ten times the manipulator you are; especially if you have an insecurity. She, has seen all that before and you haven't.

I, would let her find some guy that has kids himself.
That way, he knows the games and they both have the same things at stake.

Never take on more baggage than you are yourself.
It's a very very dumb thing to do.

Since she is the better manipulator, (and believe me, she will be) she can likely sucker you in until you are heavily invested then she will pull a 180° on you. You will have to give up every damn thing that makes you, you to please her and you will wind up no longer being able to take it.

Also, the exes that are friends is 100% bullshit.
Once you divorce its nothing more than bare minimal business.

"We stay friends for the kids."

Lmao! GMAFB!
I have kids. I just went and got them at custody exchange. Didnt say two words to the bitch.
I go to their sports games etc. The ex and I dont talk.
We used to.

Then I realized... This bitch left me... And its 2AM... She just texted... How does that make my gf feel? How would it make me feel?

Heres how exes can communicate having children:

"7:00 pm thurday"

"Yes"

"Ok"

They dont hold hands, go to dinner, or confide anything in one another.

This ain't my first rodeo and when someone with kids, meets someone with kids, it's an entirely different game; than someone without baggage, being with someone permanently affixed to two innocent lives.
The standards and goals going in are totally different.

A lot of great relationship advice here. People pay a lot of money to couples counselors and don’t get that much useful info.


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[Obs]

A lot of great relationship advice here. People pay a lot of money to couples counselors and don’t get that much useful info.


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Sanky!
Couples counselors think any relationship can work. Yeah it can.
Not as good as the one out there waiting for you, that actually fits you though.

Ex wife lied in saying she loved me. I always could feel it. I just wouldn't admit I was a tool. Took about three hours and a concrete vibrator to get her ass off.

Gf will start crying telling me how long she waited for someone like me.

Hmmm....
Make it work wit ex.. Or have current gf...?

Guess I'm lazy.
I'm gonna go with the natural/falls into place one.
Her pussy is a lot lot lot lot tighter too and she comes is a minute every time just by riding.

Thats real connection.
Not forced horseshit from two people "making it work".

[bethdoth]

My oldest daughter made the mistake of marrying someone that I disapproved of. Long story so I will make it short, after I think 5-6 years they got divorced, but not after having two sons. He was and still is in the Air Force and is an absent dad. Calls from Germany from time to time. The youngest just turned 12 and has only seen his dad about 9-10 times in his life. My daughter never talks badly about him and has let the kids make their own decisions on him.

Ok fast forward ... she met Adam who had never had any children and was never married. They started dating, then he moved in, then they got married and now have another son that is his. He has taken the other boys on as if they are his own, they call him Dad and love him way more than their bio dad. He does everything for them and with them. Seven years later they are one big happy family and doing well. This will be my grandsons song to Adam some day! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjO1F6oCab8

Every situation is different and we know every woman is different, but it can workout.

[JaneDoe]

I thank you all for the excellent advice!

[wavefunction]

Back when I lived in thailand and was sexually active, I followed three rules: must not be older than me, no children, pretty girls don’t get hiv.

These days I couldn’t get laid if my life depended on it, and still I feel very strongly about those rules. So no, no matter how awesome a female may be, children are a dealbreaker.

[Cornish]

Recently I dated a woman 12 years younger than me who already had 2 kids. Long story short: I got her pregnant, she aborted the baby and ran back to her kids' father. But..the sex was totally worth it!

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[Fluidic Kimbo]

..here’s the downside..you break up with the girl, the kids go with..they are not yours and never will be

I'm sorry to admit this, but this is the reason why I won't breathe the same oxygen as a female who already has kids. I broke up with my ex 7 years ago and I lost a daughter that day aswell. No way in hell will I go there again.

They started dating, then he moved in, then they got married and now have another son that is his. He has taken the other boys on as if they are his own, they call him Dad and love him way more than their bio dad

I'm really glad that things ended happily ever after for your daughter. Really, I am. I mean that.

I like watching those guys who can do 360 degree backflips on motorcross bikes, and I'm glad when they land the motorbike safely, but I'm not keen on doing that myself. I have respect for men who "step up" and become step dads, but I won't do that again myself.