This is the first time I've cried in months. The last time was roughly half a year ago, when I had to drive my best friend to the airport, to return to his military base in Texas, for re-deployment to Iraq.
This time my tears are for a man I've never actually met in person, despite having corresponded with him over the last few years. For those of you who don't know him, Karl Hoffman (Nandi was his ScreenName) was the brightest mind in our little world of anabolics. He passed away from a heart attack, peacefully, this last thursday. The first time I corresponded with him was when I was got my first mod spot on Triedia, almost half a decade ago. Since then I've perhaps become a decent source of information on anabolics...but, still nothing compared to him. He was, easily the sharpest mind in the world of anabolics, both online and off. I can't even think of someone else who was even close.
In our last correspondance (perhaps a month or two ago), he and I simply expressed a mutual admiration for each other, and exchanged pleasantries, him commenting on how time consuming it is keeping up with the latest steroid research and AAS paradigms. He had, at that time, offered me a spot on the staff of his board, which I declined because of my own personal time constraints and obligations. I have had the benefit, however, in the past, of being on the staff of two different boards with him.
What I didn't tell in our last correspondance, but wish I had, is that he didn't have to keep up with the current state of Anabolic Paradigms...he led the way for the rest of us to keep up with. He shaped the way I view anabolics, and much of my knowledge, although still minimal compared to his, was sparked by reading his various articles and writings. In fact, I began writing for Mind and Muscle, not simply (or primarily) for compensation, but because ( quoting directly from the E-mail I sent to Justin, the owner of Mind and Muscle) "I wanted my name up there with LLewellyn's, Bill Roberts, and Karl Hoffman's."My greatest honor with regards to writing about anabolics so far, has been to have an article appear in the same issue of that magazine, with Karl's. It was the second time I wrote an article appearing on the same online magazine as one of his, but even so, I can not bring myself to refer to him as my colleague, as his work and ability was so far advanced compared to my efforts in the field.
When I needed confirmation on a theory, I went to Karl. He was always the first and last stop in my research. Several theories, later proven valid, which I have put forth were first hypothesized by me, and when I couldn't find the appropriate research, validated by Karl finding it for me. Several of my own profiles and works were started by first reading Karl's thoughts on the topic. I simply don't have the education in the relevant subject area(s) that he did, nor the mental accumen. Anyone who has spoken to me for any length of time on anabolics and the internet would have heard Karl's name mentioned several times. I have lamented to several people that I have neither the education, nor intellegence of Karl...in fact, I would never have progressed to where I am, although still mediocre compared to him, without reading his thoughts on a variety of subjects, and benefiting from personal correspondance with him.
I would do a great disservice to him if I attempted to catalogue all of the paradigm shifts he engineered in the world of Anabolics and Bodybuilding & Athletics. I will, however say that we all have suffered a great loss by his passing, in both a gentleman and a great anabolic mind, and a great person. I can say unreservedly that he was the brightest star shining on the internet...even those words feel hollow as I type them. I can't express, with any degree of propriety or magnitude, the loss we have all recently suffered with his passing.
I miss him already, even though our correspondences were often brief and limited to some new theory I needed help with, or some new product on the market...and although I feel a personal loss, I also feel a loss for his board, the staff on it, and the entire community. Again, I'm almost ashamed to type this, because of the inadequacy of (my) words to express the grief I feel from his passing.
Nobody will ever be able to take his place, or give as much as he did, to as many in our community. Again, I apologize for the inadequacy of these words to truely express the loss we all have suffered with his passing.
He will be missed by our entire community, the staff and members of his board, especially JGuns the co-owner, I'm sure, but most of all his wife, Elaine. My thoughts and condolences are with her, and everyone he knew.
Nobody will ever be able to take his place, or give as much as he did, to as many in our community. Again, I apologize for the inadequacy of these words to truely express the loss we all have suffered with his passing.
Goodbye Karl.
~Anthony
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