Please help me

3 years ago my brothers friend got me hooked on ghb and steroids behind my brothers back. I was addicted to ghb everyday for 2 years. The withdrawals were almost too much, to the point where i didn't want to live anymore. Everyday for the last year I went through constant anxiety and panic attacks. I fought through that one but now I'm battling steroids. I've done 3 cycles on my forth. First 3 were in the 4 month range 500mg and missed a lot of adex doses leading me to currently using letro at 2.5mg per day. Don't know If I need that much the lumps are the size of a quater. I've been on for 8 months this time with no hcg as I've just recently researched and found out I'm screwed. At the moment I'm planning a pct for 2 months with clomid 100mg/day & novadex 20mg/day after my letro is finished. I'm wondering if that's a good idea, & also if hcg is too late. Or would it still be beneficial to run with my letro? Please do not comment to make me feel stupid. I was misguided by someone who clearly has no education on steroids. All the cycles I've run and everything I took were from someone I looked up too and trusted. I'd appreciate any advice as the stress of my natty test ever coming back is seriously worrying me need help bad guys, I already have anxiety disorder from my ghb abuse. Any advice for the sake of my raisins. Please and Thankyou my balls depend on it.