My advice, and I'll bet the others will agree, is to find another source. Be patient and do this cycle right the first time; since it is your first cycle, the potential for gains from it are higher than they ever will be again.

BTW, trying to get "big AND cut" are mutually exclusive IMO. Do one or the other, but don't try to do both in the same cycle. If you want to add mass then add mass-- EAT EAT EAT your friggin brains out. If you want to get lean and cut, then do that-- cardio, cardio, cardio and proper dieting. Trying to do both at the same time is not easy, if not impossible.