anger management!!!

[Iron horse]

Does anyone have any advice on angermangment??

I've been so pissed off lately it's terrible..
Ive been anger managment/phycologist and it hasn't worked.

I feel really stupid when I loose my temper

ie: this morning I did a real smart thing by putting my arm threw my door

how do you guys handle anger??

btw - im not on a cycle at the moment and Im not an asshole

[4plates]

valliums

[Iron horse]

actualy, I think I might be purchasing that next week..

4plates were you serious? I get easily pissed, but I want to make it clear Im not an asshole to people...

[torchr]

What sparks your anger? Are there specific things that set you off, or do you just up and go off the deep end? From personal experience I have trained my mind to think it completely through before I blow up. I tell myself that as a smart person I can make the decision to control my anger instead of making the decision to let my anger control me. It took some practice but determination and will power helped me thru it. Now I am in complete control of my moods. Hope this helps.

[Iron horse]

thanks for reply, I sometimes do your method of thinking, but the anger is still there and it doesn't come out untill I act badly somehow. its triggered mostly by people rather than school, myslef and other things.

[TheStromba]

IH
I can speak from experience about Valium\Xanax. The first thing that comes to mind is - Try taking your anger out on the iron before you go the valium\xanax route (valium & Xanax are very similar drugs) The gym is what helped me.

I took xanax 3 times daily for almost 4 years before I figured out the patterns of thinking that caused my anxiety and anger decided not to participate in them.

Let me add that it is VERY easy to become dependent on these types of drugs. I carried them with me everywhere and sometimes just knowing that I forgot them at home caused me to need them.

That being said, They can be quite effective on a limited basis, while you are working on the root cause of the anger. (try anger management again)

There is a underlying cause for your anger, and without sounding too "psycobabble", you have too look deep within yourself to find it.

Good Luck

[Iron horse]

Stromba, nice response.. Ive always figured there was an underlining reason, but can't even begin to think about what it is.

I was thinking of valium, for only when I really really need it, not an everday thing since Ive heard about its addiction, and need addictions besides maybe hitting the iron!

I've thought a lot about how I am, but can't figure much out...

[ragin']

yeah, i used to fly off the handle at the drop of a dime. now, if something irritates me, i try to sit back for a second and think, "it's really not that bad". and it usually works.

[androplex]

deleted by sender

[Sicilian30]

First off iron how old are you?
Secondly, if you are doing gear, it will make your temper worse, if you already have a temper. Believe it or not, sounds cheesy but meditation works well for me.. okay flame me, but hey I don't want to blow someone's head off if they piss me off.. I just smile and say, "you have a nice day prick".

[Iron horse]

thanks androplex, whats the difference between therapist/physcologist? besides one can give you meds and the other cant?

anger affects my life negitivly the most.

everything from pissing parents off, to not going to school because of suspencions, to wrecking my nice stuff..

I think Im a nice guy to most people, which is confusing when I do this stupid stuff.. life has it's up and down's I guess..

[ollie]

I'd stay away from valium/xanax. Paxil might help depending on what sets you off. Stromba had a good post there. Just figure out what "really" is wrong and try to take that out of your life.

[Iron horse]

how do you meditate? literally

[androplex]

deleted by sendor

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by Sicilian30
First off iron how old are you?
Secondly, if you are doing gear, it will make your temper worse, if you already have a temper. Believe it or not, sounds cheesy but meditation works well for me.. okay flame me, but hey I don't want to blow someone's head off if they piss me off.. I just smile and say, "you have a nice day prick".

Nothing wrong with mediation Sicilian, I also practice Yoga and at the end of my Yoga I always have a mediattion and breathing exercise for 20 minutes or so.

Helps a lot brothers.

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by Iron horse
how do you meditate? literally

Iron Horse, easy.....

Clear your mind, set yoursefl up in an extremely quiet place (can be a bedroom for example), put on some very easy music....I prefer New Age Indian artists (from the country of India or Native-Americans) and close my eyes, and then work on clearing my Chakras. Cleansing the mind and body with meditation is an amazing renewal of the spirit.

While mediatating I use the time to talk with God. Others just clear the mind of all thought.

The purpose is to make you overcome those demons that hold you back, and anger is one of those.

[Kaz]

meditation is the answer and Canes has described pretty much all you need to know about it to get started!

meditaion can also be used to make your training sessions better!! spend a meditation session thinking step by step about what you will do in the gym and when you get there actually do it! it works great when you are getting ready for a new bench record for example.

personally i like to take each meditation to a point where i cannot feel my body, literally - its like i am numb, but in fact it is a state of relaxation akin to sleep but while you are awake and conscious.

pratice meditating a few times a week and you will soon find that you look forward to it in the same way as you look forward to working out!

[Iron horse]

interesting guys.. and canes you really know your meditation!

I think I may just try it!

[LetsRideTLR]

rough sex with the girlfriend. she'll love/like you more for it and youll be able to release some of that anger. its a win win situation. works for me

[DiMensionX]

Iron Horse, I have had issues with anger/rage all my life. It has taken a long time to get it in check, finally at 28 I feel it is fully under control. Learn to breath, I know that sounds fucked up but it helps, practice NEVER responding to your first urge to rip someone a new asshole, EVER. I have found I can always rip someones head off after I think about it for a while and it still makes since, but if you do it without thinking you are going to really regret it.

Not reacting takes a lot of practice to get right, the sooner you start the sooner you will master it. If there is one thing I've learned it's that people are more intimidated by the cool level headed one that can focus thier anger rather than blow up.

Now, Xanax/Valium should be the LAST thing to try. I have used it in the past extensively and it will increase your rage to an unreal level after continued use. I promise it will make your thoughts completely irrational and you will have the WORST mood swings EVER after taking it for a few days or more. It is really addictive, REALLY it is. Comming off of it can cause many to have siezures as well. Dude, skip the Valium, get some Pot, no joke. If you MUST have a drug to help calm you then give pot a shot.

DMX

[Canes4Ever]

Kaz, excellent suggestion. I actually have done that a couple of times, imagined my next workout and the effort to put in it. Imagine seeing yourself doing a bigger weight than you have done before and then the next time you are in the gym, YOU DO IT !

Meditation is great for anger management and for making new personal records in the gym. !

[Kaz]

Canes i noticed from your last comment that you are aware of your chakras - its probably not the place to go into it here, but its really good to keep them all aligned properly, and also to keep them clean!

when you get everything aligned nicely you function properly! iv lost count of the time i have been feeling bad (for whatever reason) and have not been able to pinpoint it until i sit and medititate and then.... im all out of whack!! no wonder im feeling rough!

when done properly medititaion can bring a natural high - not a rush like cocaine but a gentle and relaxed feeling which is far above coke (yes i have done it so i do know!)

often i will meditate just after i climb out of the shower - my muscles which just took a hammering will relax and feel good, and my whole body gets that "healthy" glowing feeling!

Iron horse - do yourself a favour bro - just try a month of meditiation BEFORE you start pumping valiums or something into your system! if you get it right (and its pretty hard to get it wrong!) you will feel 10 times better after just 3 or 4 successfull sessions.

[Iron horse]

what postition are you supposed to be in to meditate?

[Methuselah]

It might not be such a bad thing if you can control the resulting behaviors. You have to tell yourself that it is okay to feel angry, but it's not acceptable to blow up. I frequently speak to an eleven year old child about this. He responded best when I told him that his anger was like having t pee really bad, although you have to pee, you don't go in your pants because you have self control. Think of your anger in that way, when it builds up you have to remind yourself that it's not okay to take the next step and break things. Think of your anger like holding your pee on a long trip. Challenge yourself to not lash out. It's all about self control and self respect. You already know that it's not cool. Imagine as a parent when your 4 year old hits you dead in the face with a toy, your first reaction is to punch him; but as a parent we practice patience and self control; we know that hitting kids is just not an option. Next time you want to put your fist through the door, take a couple of steps back and take a deep cleansing breath, you'll be proud of yourself. Choosing Mike Tyson as your role model may be a bad choose. Change your avatar to Mr. Rogers for awhile and see if it helps. It's all about your own self image and what is acceptable to you. Surely the lashing out is a call for attention and for recognition of your problems. As you grow older you learn that nobody cares about your problems and nobody cares if you're a winner or a looser. It's all up to you. Take responsibility and make yourself proud. You’re not a looser or you wouldn’t be here contributing as you do. Just fix it, you can.

'Studies show that testosterone levels rise in response to aggressive behavior, rather than the other way around. Rises in testosterone levels do not automatically lead to aggression, and violent behavior cannot be attributed testosterone alone. '

Come back to this thread in a week and share an example of being so pissed off that you could smash something and tell us how you were able to conrol yourself.

[Methuselah]

Originally posted by Iron horse
what postition are you supposed to be in to meditate?

Any, just learn to relax and let your mind go into a day dream. Go to a quiet place, inside or outside. Do what you like, candles, soft music, laying down on a blanket in the park and listening to only the wind.

After you learn to just let your mind go blank, you can later read books on getting to deeper levels of relaxation by thinking positive thoughts.

[Kaz]

Originally posted by Iron horse
what postition are you supposed to be in to meditate?

the classical position is the lotus positino but thats completely unrealistic to start with so we can ignore that.....

ANY position is fine as long as you adhere to some basic rules

your back (spine) should be as straight a posible so no slouching

your head should be held up in a natural postioin (see the no slouching comment!)

if you are sitting upright on a chair dont cross your legs and keep the soles of your feet on the floor

if you are sitting up, but on the floor or bed, sit crosslegged but only if you can sit like this for a while without discomfort!

should you choose to lay down for this dont cross your legs

you can clasp your hands together in any way that is comfortable but if you are laying down they are best left at your sides

the general rule would be comfort! if you are not completely comfortable you cant posibly be relaxed! try to be in a place where it is fairly quiet, play some soothing type of music if you like although personally i like total silence.

UNPLUG THE PHONE!!
DISCONNECT THE DOORBELL!!

there is nothing more jarring that being dragged out of a wonderfull meditation because the phone rings!!

[Iron horse]

Originally posted by Methuselah
[B]Choosing Mike Tyson as your role model may be a bad choose. Change your avatar to Mr. Rogers for awhile and see if it helps.

that's kinda funny, but personaly, Mr. Rogers scares me

thats an amazing response btw,

you said " Surely the lashing out is a call for attention and for recognition of your problems. "

I can see what your saying, but I covered the door in posters and made sure no one found out so I don't look stupid...

I think Im seeing how to not react badly, but, that doesn't make the feelings inside go away.. but your saying meditation might make the feelings go away??


thanks for the post to kaz

[BE_STRONG]

Xanax, But I dont have a FU$KIN problem with anger! LMAO!!

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by Kaz
Canes i noticed from your last comment that you are aware of your chakras - its probably not the place to go into it here, but its really good to keep them all aligned properly, and also to keep them clean!

when you get everything aligned nicely you function properly! iv lost count of the time i have been feeling bad (for whatever reason) and have not been able to pinpoint it until i sit and medititate and then.... im all out of whack!! no wonder im feeling rough!

when done properly medititaion can bring a natural high - not a rush like cocaine but a gentle and relaxed feeling which is far above coke (yes i have done it so i do know!)

often i will meditate just after i climb out of the shower - my muscles which just took a hammering will relax and feel good, and my whole body gets that "healthy" glowing feeling!

Iron horse - do yourself a favour bro - just try a month of meditiation BEFORE you start pumping valiums or something into your system! if you get it right (and its pretty hard to get it wrong!) you will feel 10 times better after just 3 or 4 successfull sessions.

Kaz you are absolutely right

Iron Horse, take heed of Brother Kaz's advice. Use medatation for a month and see if it helps your anger condition. I bet it will.

peace brothers

[G Child]

Funny that I ran across this thread, I'm enrolling into anger management today as a matter of fact. This is actually the 4'th time that I'll have attended some sort of anger management class, but this is the first time that it's been of my own free will.

Honestly I don't think that I need to go. This is just my opinion but I believe that people are only capable of controlling their emotions if they know what factors trigger them and set them off. Figuring out how to cope with them once you get set off is another key to not just flipping out and destroying shit.

For me I know that I hold a lot of sh*t in, I don’t talk about it and just push it to the back of my mind. Then more and more stuff happens and pretty soon there I am, not knowing how to deal with all these emotions I just lash out at anything that happens to be in my way at the time. I’m still learning how to deal with my emotions and everything, but that’s just my take on the whole thing. Everyone has issues, you just have to learn about what's the best way for you to deal with them.

Proverbs 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

[Methuselah]

Originally posted by Iron horse


that's kinda funny, but personaly, Mr. Rogers scares me

thats an amazing response btw,

you said " Surely the lashing out is a call for attention and for recognition of your problems. "

I can see what your saying, but I covered the door in posters and made sure no one found out so I don't look stupid...

I think Im seeing how to not react badly, but, that doesn't make the feelings inside go away.. but your saying meditation might make the feelings go away??


thanks for the post to kaz

The feelings may take a long time to go away. It's pretty normal to have them when your a young adult.