You sound like me, I consider myself to be a confused BBer/Powerlifter. I like playing heavy, but by the same token I want to look good, so I start dropping the weight with cardio and diet pretty soon I'm not as strong so I freak and start packing on the pounds. 1 cycle I didn't mention, and I am ashamed I missed it is to go with Test ans EQ for 14 wks on the test and 12 on the eq. Eq is famous for good strength and lean muscle gains and not near as harsh as tren or any oral IMO. You're a pretty big guy so I think you could get away with 650T and 600EQ. This would be a very tolerable stack with good quality gains in LBM and strength.