Yes, I think I do sort of consider TRT to be "the devil" right now. I know it has its uses and is the savior for many people. In fact, I'm happy to know that it is available in case I truly have a need for it. However, I was very happy with the way I felt prior to TRT. TRT should have never been administered to me without bloodwork having been done. I'm a little bit pissed at my doctor for suggesting TRT without checking my levels first. As I understand it, it is standard routine for a doctor to do bloodwork before prescribing TRT. Why the hell didn't my doctor do that? I think I had adequate testosterone prior to TRT. I've always had good muscle tone, even when I don't lift. I have a heavy growth of facial and body hair and my sex drive was always very strong. These are all indicative of adequate testosterone, I think.

Libido was never really an issue with me. I had an enormous amount of sex drive and was ready for sex at any time, day or night. The problem was that every once in a while I experienced some ED. Thinking back, it may have just been that my sex drive was TOO strong and I was having sex so often that I just couldn't get it up anymore. Sometimes I would use viagra and that remedied the problem nicely. The problem was that the Viagra was so expensive that I really couldn't afford to buy it. Therefore, I discussed it with my doctor and he told me that as men age, their test levels begin to drop and that maybe a little testosterone boost might help out. The way he explained it to me, I thought "a little testosterone boost" sounded like a magic pill! He did not inform me of any of the potential consequences of a "little testosterone boost". He told me nothing at all about suppression of the HPTA or the risk of infertility. Don't you think he should have done some blood work and explained all of this to me before putting me on it? He just said, "here, try this and see if it helps". There are probably plenty of guys who wish they could find a doctor who would so freely prescribe testosterone, but I'm wishing this guy would have played by the rules with me. I was completely unsuspecting of any of the side-effects.

Now, I feel like crap. I've been at work all day and just got home. Just to sit here at the computer and type is making me tired. My eyes are burning, as they do everyday by this time. I feel like I need a nap. I have never in my life been a person who takes naps during the day, but I can't muster the energy to do anything at all. I could go out to my gym and lift, but the thought of that is not a pleasant one. I love to lift and love the way I feel when I do, but right now I feel so weak that it would be nothing but frustrating and discouraging to even attempt it.

Three more days until I see my doctor. I don't know if he will order blood work at that time or not. My endocrinologist has ordered blood work once a month for a year and I will get blood drawn for him in about 10 days from now. From the way I feel, there is no doubt that my testosterone is hovering near nothing at all.