Question for the people in relationships

[goodcents]

If your partner let you have other people with their blessing, didn't cheat on you or would ever leave you, would you fool around?
( I think it's the best of both worlds)
I had a girl like that once (of course it doesn't last)

[USfighterFC]

i dont know what you said

[lucabratzi]

um, if she didnt care that i hooked up with other people i prob. would...i wouldnt go out and look for it but if it came my way i would bang...i've never cheated just cause i think its one of the most ****ed up things u can do, but if she really didnt care then i'd do it...but the relationship wouldnt last cause she def. has self esteem issues...

[novastepp]

i wouldn't regardless. its called a relationship for a reason. if i choose to pursue a girl i am with her and her only... and i laugh at the fact that you added how it didn't last

[Mizfit]

Nope.. Never..

I like being with one person

[JAYROD]

If your partner let you have other people with their blessing, didn't cheat on you or would ever leave you, would you fool around?
( I think it's the best of both worlds)
I had a girl like that once (of course it doesn't last)

that idea has trouble written all over it.

[bigpapabuff]

If she says that she doesn't care she is probably full of crap. It's just one of her mind games to see if you really love her, or some crap like that.

[taiboxa]

Nope.. Never..

I like being with one person

EXACTLY
wats point of being in a relationship if ur goingto whore it up .. bad manners!

[fatale]

i dont know what you said

I believe his question is this: Are you a perverted sick bastard that would let your gf **** another guy and wouldn't mind at all?

[taiboxa]

I believe his question is this: Are you a perverted sick bastard that would let your gf **** another guy and wouldn't mind at all?

NEVER and if she said i could hump anyone i wanted .. STILL NEVER
ima monogomus muhnawgamus.. monogamus.. monononoawgumus.. kinda guy

[dabularach]

I would stay away from that.My ex offered the same thing but its not going to do anything but start problems.Im sure it would be fun but then when its done she will probably change her feelings and you cant take back what you did.You lost

[DDDNTZ]

I don't have relationships

[taiboxa]

I don't have relationships

LoL we Fat kids rarely do

[SHAOKAHN]

That is not something I would ever be interested in anymore.



one girl with one guy connected by true luv is the ultimate goal of a real "relationship" to me at least.



...Although that plan has'nt exectly worked yet for me eaither.







-shaokahn->

[needmorestrength]

i wouldn't regardless. its called a relationship for a reason. if i choose to pursue a girl i am with her and her only... and i laugh at the fact that you added how it didn't last

Agreed!!

[J-Dogg]

If I was asked that even, it would end the relationship.

If they are asking you, they probably are assuming it is okay for them or are hoping it is okay for them....or even trying to make up for somthing they did.

[Carlos_E]

If your partner let you have other people with their blessing, didn't cheat on you or would ever leave you, would you fool around?

No.

( I think it's the best of both worlds)
I had a girl like that once (of course it doesn't last)

You'll think differently when you grow up.

[anaBROLIC]

if your girls gonna let you, its because shes doing it tooo...

[Hunter]

No I wouldn't just becouse someone gives you permission to cheat doesn't make it right and its not much of a relantionship if they do let you fool around with there consent

[Mizfit]

I dunno when you have a connection - i mean a real connection with someone.. and it has nothing to do with being comfortable with your self or being insecure - you realyl only want them to be with you in that way.

I have no problems with my boyfriend looking at porn, saying another woman is hot, or even looking at another woman - but if he is going to go have sex with her - he won't be having sex with me again. 9there is a difference between sex and making love - I'm using the word sex to describe both and you should be doing both ina relationship)

[cfiler]

With being with someone else sexually, you loose the trust in a relationship. Without trust, there is no relationship.

[FLEX83]

i wouldn't regardless. its called a relationship for a reason. if i choose to pursue a girl i am with her and her only... and i laugh at the fact that you added how it didn't last

well put sir... agreed

[goodcents]

No.



You'll think differently when you grow up.

I'm 33 (I guess you meant maturity wise ) I just can't see spending every day with the same person.(I know their are others that feel this way. but I will speak for myself.)
I'm surronded by hot chics all day at the salon and the store, how can I not sample everything? Tried relationship and it is one big drama headache! They always have something to say all the freaking time (sometime I miss the one girl thing till the bs starts like it always does.)

[goodcents]

This was more of a morale question than anything, It never works out in the end(unless you are buying the women like Heff does) Besides, have you not had a girl bring her friend over to mess around?

[ascendant]

well, people seem to be misconstruing what's "socially accepted" and their own personal tastes to be what's "right". who's to say that a monogamous relationship is the "right" way to have a relationship? it's just what society has made us believe is the "right" way to have one. that way if anything happens, you can have all the drama of being upset and hurt and yada yada. without the concept of monogamy, people would be far more open emotionally and less prone to being hurt IMO.

having sex and being in love with people are completely different. i love my wife, yet we swing and enjoy sex with others. it's something we usually share together, but it's something that we're both secure about. we both have a connection that we know goes well beyond just sex, so the sex we share with others is comparable to what people see as having conversations with other people. we're both secure enough in our relationship to be able to allow each other to share experiences like sex with others, and for us, it actually makes our sex life even better cause of the experiences.

if someone is perfectly content in a monogamous one-on-one relationship and it's not due to insecurity reasons, good for you. you've found what you want and i completely respect that. however, i find all too often people are in a relationship but will find themselves attracted to others. they go to the beach and find some hot people there, or just somewhere along the lines bump into someone where they think to themselves "if i didn't have a girl/guy right now...". most follow the "look but don't touch" approach, but this is basically you sacrificing what you'd like to do for the relationship. personally, i don't think a relationship should hold you back from experience, i think it's merely having someone else to share those experiences with.

if by the slight chance in the process of swinging you found someone better than your current relationship, isn't that what we try to find? the best possible relationship we can get? i mean no matter how great a relationship is, you never know if there could be someone out there, someone potentially 100x better than who you have then. but, you could always end up finding someone better regardless of swinging or not. all it takes is meeting someone, getting to know them, and making a connection. i don't think swinging increases most peoples probability of breaking up, unless of course there's insecurity issues involved.

this of course is not my reasoning for swinging, but if my wife found someone she like more, i'd be able to let go. i'd just want her happy, and i'd know that if she could find someone better, so could i. besides, i don't need a relationship to be happy.

[Evil Predator]

no, i do not want an open relationship, I do not want to sleep around on any girl I may be dating, and I dont want a woman who wants that...

Ive had a couple of threesomes when I was playing university hockey, and I loved it like anyone would, but they werent with women I cared about.

Im not a cheater, as I dont like being cheated on. If you want other people, the door is in front of you, have fun...

[guest589745]

The same person that I finally got to hit last night lmao. Oh I feel kinda bad but more great at the same time........

I literally had a dream come true last night. I have been waiting like 3 years for this.

sake is nasty!

[Mizfit]

well, people seem to be misconstruing what's "socially accepted" and their own personal tastes to be what's "right". who's to say that a monogamous relationship is the "right" way to have a relationship? it's just what society has made us believe is the "right" way to have one. that way if anything happens, you can have all the drama of being upset and hurt and yada yada. without the concept of monogamy, people would be far more open emotionally and less prone to being hurt IMO.

having sex and being in love with people are completely different. i love my wife, yet we swing and enjoy sex with others. it's something we usually share together, but it's something that we're both secure about. we both have a connection that we know goes well beyond just sex, so the sex we share with others is comparable to what people see as having conversations with other people. we're both secure enough in our relationship to be able to allow each other to share experiences like sex with others, and for us, it actually makes our sex life even better cause of the experiences.

if someone is perfectly content in a monogamous one-on-one relationship and it's not due to insecurity reasons, good for you. you've found what you want and i completely respect that. however, i find all too often people are in a relationship but will find themselves attracted to others. they go to the beach and find some hot people there, or just somewhere along the lines bump into someone where they think to themselves "if i didn't have a girl/guy right now...". most follow the "look but don't touch" approach, but this is basically you sacrificing what you'd like to do for the relationship. personally, i don't think a relationship should hold you back from experience, i think it's merely having someone else to share those experiences with.

if by the slight chance in the process of swinging you found someone better than your current relationship, isn't that what we try to find? the best possible relationship we can get? i mean no matter how great a relationship is, you never know if there could be someone out there, someone potentially 100x better than who you have then. but, you could always end up finding someone better regardless of swinging or not. all it takes is meeting someone, getting to know them, and making a connection. i don't think swinging increases most peoples probability of breaking up, unless of course there's insecurity issues involved.

this of course is not my reasoning for swinging, but if my wife found someone she like more, i'd be able to let go. i'd just want her happy, and i'd know that if she could find someone better, so could i. besides, i don't need a relationship to be happy.

your views seem to be very different than some peoples..

IMO swingers, not those in monogomos relationships are insecure because they are unable to secume to that one true conenction to one person.

Justify you way of living however you want, and what i beleive has nothing to do with whether it is socially or morally acceptable it's what i beleive in my heart to be right.

Why bother getting married or having a relationship if your still hungry for others.

[novastepp]

[/U][/B]


I'm 33 (I guess you meant maturity wise ) I just can't see spending every day with the same person.(I know their are others that feel this way. but I will speak for myself.)
I'm surronded by hot chics all day at the salon and the store, how can I not sample everything? Tried relationship and it is one big drama headache! They always have something to say all the freaking time (sometime I miss the one girl thing till the bs starts like it always does.)

the drama is because you are finding girls who just "want dick". when you find the right girl she will "want your dick". see the difference. and it will be then that the drama, the annoyances, the incompleteness of your life, will be bye bye, gone.

[ascendant]

your views seem to be very different than some peoples..

IMO swingers, not those in monogomos relationships are insecure because they are unable to secume to that one true conenction to one person.

Justify you way of living however you want, and what i beleive has nothing to do with whether it is socially or morally acceptable it's what i beleive in my heart to be right.

Why bother getting married or having a relationship if your still hungry for others.

well, my question to you is why limit yourself to one person? is that all you're capable of handling or all you feel you should?

personally, i'm a very expansive person. i learn quickly. if i focus on one particular person i get bored quickly. it's far more complex and in depth than it might seem at face value here, but just trying to give you a glimpse into my personality. i can assure you our swinging lifestyle has nothing to do with insecurity, it has to do with expansion of experience beyond the limitations of a monogamous relationship.

if you feel what you're doing in your heart is right, then that's your path. i on the other hand feel what i do is right in my heart, and it's my path. there is no "right" and "wrong" paths, it's all up to the individual. i'm merely expressing a perspective from a path less followed. that does not make in any better or worse than anyone elses. it's all what works for you.

my belief system is very complex, but with my beliefs there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with what we do. besides, you really think you'll be spending eternity with one particular person? most people can't go through a lifetime with just one person, let alone forever. all i feel we do is open ourselves to more opportunity of experience as opposed to focusing on one.

as far as marriage, that just shows how strong our connection is as opposed to what we do with others. we get along great, virtually never fight, and love each other enough that we wanted to express that love through marriage. we don't make any kind of emotional connections with those other people that are nearly as close as with each other. even before we met, none of our relationships were ever nearly as good as ours is. when you have a relationship as strong as ours, you can let go of certain reaffirmations that society asks of people to show commitment. we simply know it's there.

sex IMO is way overrated. sex does not define a relationship, emotions do. sex we do for physical gratification. if people feel a need for sex to be a defining part of the commitment in a relationship, then that's your choice.

as far as being hungry for others, once you leave a man or a man leaves you, have you ever lost all your taste for any others? though you may lose that "hunger" while being with someone, it's still there, you're merely suppressing it from your conscious. however, once a relationship has ended, sure enough, that hunger comes back again.

you seem to make sex into something that is part of the definining of your relationships? what about looking deeper? sex is merely physical. what about a spiritual or mental connection? me and my wife have both, and our spiritual connection goes plenty deep enough that we have no need to use sex as a part of the definition of our relationship.

sex is something you share in life, nothing more. a spiritual connection is what will last. no matter what we share physically with others, our spiritual connection will always seperate it from our relationship together.

[novastepp]

well, my question to you is why limit yourself to one person? is that all you're capable of handling or all you feel you should?

personally, i'm a very expansive person. i learn quickly. if i focus on one particular person i get bored quickly. it's far more complex and in depth than it might seem at face value here, but just trying to give you a glimpse into my personality. i can assure you our swinging lifestyle has nothing to do with insecurity, it has to do with expansion of experience beyond the limitations of a monogamous relationship.

if you feel what you're doing in your heart is right, then that's your path. i on the other hand feel what i do is right in my heart, and it's my path. there is no "right" and "wrong" paths, it's all up to the individual. i'm merely expressing a perspective from a path less followed. that does not make in any better or worse than anyone elses. it's all what works for you.

my belief system is very complex, but with my beliefs there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with what we do. besides, you really think you'll be spending eternity with one particular person? most people can't go through a lifetime with just one person, let alone forever. all i feel we do is open ourselves to more opportunity of experience as opposed to focusing on one.

as far as marriage, that just shows how strong our connection is as opposed to what we do with others. we get along great, virtually never fight, and love each other enough that we wanted to express that love through marriage. we don't make any kind of emotional connections with those other people that are nearly as close as with each other. even before we met, none of our relationships were ever nearly as good as ours is. when you have a relationship as strong as ours, you can let go of certain reaffirmations that society asks of people to show commitment. we simply know it's there.

sex IMO is way overrated. sex does not define a relationship, emotions do. sex we do for physical gratification. if people feel a need for sex to be a defining part of the commitment in a relationship, then that's your choice.

as far as being hungry for others, once you leave a man or a man leaves you, have you ever lost all your taste for any others? though you may lose that "hunger" while being with someone, it's still there, you're merely suppressing it from your conscious. however, once a relationship has ended, sure enough, that hunger comes back again.

you seem to make sex into something that is part of the definining of your relationships? what about looking deeper? sex is merely physical. what about a spiritual or mental connection? me and my wife have both, and our spiritual connection goes plenty deep enough that we have no need to use sex as a part of the definition of our relationship.

sex is something you share in life, nothing more. a spiritual connection is what will last. no matter what we share physically with others, our spiritual connection will always seperate it from our relationship together.

that doesn't sound like you take teh time to grow deeper with anyone. u are saying that your sex is all physical. but what if you share a lifestyle, emotions, caretaking, responsibilities, and emotions with another person...then bond sexually to conceive a child... a living breathing human being because you two are in that emotional bond. then you will get bored? if you want gratification then that is fine, join the rest of the 99's who redeem gratification daily, while the rest of us will seek for depth and satisfaction with the unknown we find by searching within the souls of our partner (singular).

[Mizfit]

well, my question to you is why limit yourself to one person? is that all you're capable of handling or all you feel you should?

personally, i'm a very expansive person. i learn quickly. if i focus on one particular person i get bored quickly. it's far more complex and in depth than it might seem at face value here, but just trying to give you a glimpse into my personality. i can assure you our swinging lifestyle has nothing to do with insecurity, it has to do with expansion of experience beyond the limitations of a monogamous relationship.

if you feel what you're doing in your heart is right, then that's your path. i on the other hand feel what i do is right in my heart, and it's my path. there is no "right" and "wrong" paths, it's all up to the individual. i'm merely expressing a perspective from a path less followed. that does not make in any better or worse than anyone elses. it's all what works for you.

my belief system is very complex, but with my beliefs there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with what we do. besides, you really think you'll be spending eternity with one particular person? most people can't go through a lifetime with just one person, let alone forever. all i feel we do is open ourselves to more opportunity of experience as opposed to focusing on one.

as far as marriage, that just shows how strong our connection is as opposed to what we do with others. we get along great, virtually never fight, and love each other enough that we wanted to express that love through marriage. we don't make any kind of emotional connections with those other people that are nearly as close as with each other. even before we met, none of our relationships were ever nearly as good as ours is. when you have a relationship as strong as ours, you can let go of certain reaffirmations that society asks of people to show commitment. we simply know it's there.

sex IMO is way overrated. sex does not define a relationship, emotions do. sex we do for physical gratification. if people feel a need for sex to be a defining part of the commitment in a relationship, then that's your choice.

as far as being hungry for others, once you leave a man or a man leaves you, have you ever lost all your taste for any others? though you may lose that "hunger" while being with someone, it's still there, you're merely suppressing it from your conscious. however, once a relationship has ended, sure enough, that hunger comes back again.

you seem to make sex into something that is part of the definining of your relationships? what about looking deeper? sex is merely physical. what about a spiritual or mental connection? me and my wife have both, and our spiritual connection goes plenty deep enough that we have no need to use sex as a part of the definition of our relationship.

sex is something you share in life, nothing more. a spiritual connection is what will last. no matter what we share physically with others, our spiritual connection will always seperate it from our relationship together.

You should read what you just wrote - sex is more than something pshyical with someon you have a deep connection with - if you have a connection, as you have stated you have with your wife - you would know this

[Carlos_E]

You should read what you just wrote - sex is more than something pshyical with someon you have a deep connection with - if you have a connection, as you have stated you have with your wife - you would know this

I got into this with ascendant before. We agreed to disagree.

[ascendant]

that doesn't sound like you take teh time to grow deeper with anyone. u are saying that your sex is all physical. but what if you share a lifestyle, emotions, caretaking, responsibilities, and emotions with another person...then bond sexually to conceive a child... a living breathing human being because you two are in that emotional bond. then you will get bored? if you want gratification then that is fine, join the rest of the 99's who redeem gratification daily, while the rest of us will seek for depth and satisfaction with the unknown we find by searching within the souls of our partner (singular).

well, i wouldn't say my sex is completely physical but when swinging with others, that's the main purpose for it at that point.

when in a relationship, you still talk to other people, right? so even though you may engage in deep, meaningful conversations with your significant other, you may still do so with other people at times, right? now to you, that's not cheating cause it's acceptable to converse with others and you'd have no feelings of guilt or anything for enjoying a deep conversation with someone else other than your significant other.

people choose what limits of connection they can and can't have with others when in a relationship. however, there are plenty of things you do with your significant other that you share with others as well. sex just happens to be one of those things for us. just as many of you don't see how we can do that, i don't see why so many of you consider it to be such a bad thing if it's what makes us both happy?

as far as the whole boredom thing with me, it's tough to explain. i'd be very happy having a family with my wife, and i don't need to swing with others. i've just found in my past that in relationships i get bored of people very quickly. it's not something i can help, it's just me.

as you can tell from my posts, i talk, a lot. i chat a lot with people to get to know them and understand them. once i get to a point where i feel i know all there is to know about someone/something, sometimes i just lose interest. i'm the kind of person who is always trying to learn and grow in whatever way possible. many people make set beliefs for themselves and a set way of life and that's them. i'm always changing. people who don't do the same oftentimes start to bore me once i know all there is to know about them and they never seem to grow beyond what they are. it's a very tough situation to explain and this one paragraph does not do the entire situation justice. i'm just trying to toss a huge chunk of my personality into a nutshell to help make sense of things.

luckily with my wife that hasn't happened and hopefully never will. however, swinging is one way for us to keep things sparking in the bedroom. from others, we learn new techniques, positions, etc to try with one another, which keeps us hot in the bedroom, even after being together for about 6 years now. also, swinging is just something that turns both of us on. not just with the others, but for each other as well.

[ascendant]

You should read what you just wrote - sex is more than something pshyical with someon you have a deep connection with - if you have a connection, as you have stated you have with your wife - you would know this

as far as sex being more than something physical with someone, that all depends on the person. i know some people who always keep sex and love divisible. i know others who can seperate the two but can also experience both at once. that is dependent on the individual and not something you can state as how it is.

also, you may have misinterpreted what i said. the sex we have when swinging with others is for physical pleasure. obviously the sex we have together is different cause of the love and connection we have. however, the emotions, not the sex itself is what contributes to that deep connection. sex is still sex, it's just the feelings towards the person you're doing it with makes it different. i didn't explain that cause i thought that would be a given?

[novastepp]

no hate man. i understand everyone is different. we all travel in different paths, and i respect yours, and honestly if it works for you and it is fulfilling then i support you. it is a path i choose not to take, but it isn't anything i will cast judgement on.

[ascendant]

I got into this with ascendant before. We agreed to disagree.

right. like i said, whatever floats someones boat as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else in the process is fine by me. i can completely respect everyones own choices as to how they choose to handle their relationships.

i'm not trying to tell everyone about my lifestyle in a way of saying it's "right". i'm just trying to shed some light on a not so commonly seen perspective on things. whether you agree or disagree, if you've never heard about the lifestyle before and i'm the first one telling you about it, you do have something to learn at least from it, right? if you don't believe so, then i apologize, as that's pretty much my only reason for posting about it.