How To Shower
I got this off of Freakz, thought it was pretty sweet........How to Shower
How to Shower Like A Woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
must do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced
with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body
wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has
all come off).
11. Shave armpits & legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide
to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you
lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off the shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots
with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze
hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown & towel on head.
18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
How to Shower Like A Man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the
way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror & suck in your gut
to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror
and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it
off.
9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
surrounding areas.
11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on soap bar.
12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror
again.
15. Pee in the shower.
16. Rinse off & get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on
the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole
time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener
size again.
19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you
pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo
woo sound again.
22. Throw wet towel on the bed.
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