Flirt...

[Scarface06]

Hey guys hope your training is going well!

Im getting married in less than 6 months, 23yrs old and something is bothering me, basically my fiance started her new job in december and had to undergo 7 weeks of training, before he could start.

Well just last week we were having lunch together and she told me about one of the trainers basically saying he singled her out in training, asking lots of questions, my fiance told me she took the piss out of him and showed him up, as she had some knowledge on areas he didnt. Well to me this sounded like the trainer was trying to make a play on my fiance.

Anyway i didnt really make anything else of it, other than it sat at the back of my mind, then on friday she went out to celebrate finishing training and a friend of my said he thought he saw my fiance flirting with some guy... On that same day she sent a message saying she loved me (which she rarely does!)

I was in limbo at this point as i didnt want to start an argument on hearsay... then i saw a diary entry that she made on saturday which read....

dear diary

so i started a new job and my trainer started flirting with me loads............i flirted back but just to see if i could and i can so thats that! feel bad now though.

i am totally consumed with wedding and wondering how we are going to find the money and cope! wedding is in june and just hope we can manage all the payments.

What does this mean?! i know i should not of read the diary, but its done. Im 6 months away from the biggest moment of my life, making a committment to the only woman i love and honour. Yet this comes up, it makes me question what else she has done in the past together and whats in store in the future. I could never flirt with another woman, i just dont see the point, my heart is with her, yeah other girls are attractive, but i only have eyes and love for my fiance,

anyone have any opinions?

[perfectbeast2001]

it means she flirted with a guy to see if she was still able too. Big deal! No harm done. I would not even think its worth talking to her about.

[Kevinjg]

Sorry mate she never said she was getting married, LOL


Only kidding, dude you can't be feeling like this B4 you get married! I would be very worried if i was In your shoes! Unless you over reacting.

You need to speak to one another.

[Kevinjg]

it means she flirted with a guy to see if she was still able too. Big deal! No harm done. I would not even think its worth talking to her about.

I agree, i've got a Mrs and i flirt, It's nothng in it. The end of the day she is your mrs and she's comng home to you every night. If she don't thats when you really need to get worried!

[Kale]

Here is the answer right here dude" i flirted back but just to see if i could and i can so thats that! feel bad now though." What more do you want her to do ?

[Jay-Ace]

I'd be more worried about you than her!!

You should never read somebodies diary, that's a big no no. If I was her and I found out you'd read my diary you'd be kicked out in a millisecond!!

If you;re getting married you've got to trust this woman. Can you honestly say you've not flirted with another girl since you've been with her?!?!

If yes... you're gay!! It's natural to flirt with the opposite sex, it's our way of checking what colour the grass is on both sides. Plus it gives you a confidence boost which you the take home and it reinforces the relationship you have with the woman you love!!

[Kale]

I'd be more worried about you than her!!

You should never read somebodies diary, that's a big no no. If I was her and I found out you'd read my diary you'd be kicked out in a millisecond!!

If you;re getting married you've got to trust this woman. Can you honestly say you've not flirted with another girl since you've been with her?!?!

If yes... you're gay!! It's natural to flirt with the opposite sex, it's our way of checking what colour the grass is on both sides. Plus it gives you a confidence boost which you the take home and it reinforces the relationship you have with the woman you love!!

Thats exactly what I was thinking as well !!!

[RA]

IMO, if she was 100% committed to you she wouldnt be flirting. Especially "loads"

[lucabratzi]

wow thats a weird situation...but in the end it really shouldnt matter...i flirted (wouldnt even call it hit on her) with a girl at a bar this weekend, she was beautiful, and i new if i tried i prob could have had her cause she was all over me...but in the end i didnt hook up cause i have a gf...i dont even feel bad, i actually feel good because most guys would have hooked up with the girl in my situation...

she prob just wanted to see if she was still sexy to the opposite sex...i'd say do something nice soon to let her know how sexy/attractive she is and that u still find her attractive...

[Jay-Ace]

wow thats a weird situation...but in the end it really shouldnt matter...i flirted (wouldnt even call it hit on her) with a girl at a bar this weekend, she was beautiful, and i new if i tried i prob could have had her cause she was all over me...but in the end i didnt hook up cause i have a gf...i dont even feel bad, i actually feel good because most guys would have hooked up with the girl in my situation...

she prob just wanted to see if she was still sexy to the opposite sex...i'd say do something nice soon to let her know how sexy/attractive she is and that u still find her attractive...

Thats a good point, and definately a good idea!!

[beuleux]

Firstly people who keep diaries are just asking for someone to find it and read it so dont go beating yourself up about that, secondy sounds like shes got the jitters just like you have with that marriage comment but who wouldnt, and thirdy if it read: My trainer banged me good and propper much better than my fiance does... then youd have something to worry about.

[spywizard]

it means she flirted with a guy to see if she was still able too. Big deal! No harm done. I would not even think its worth talking to her about.

I would say congradulations, she choose you, she decided that you are still the one..

If a guy flirts with her, and she flirts back, and then sleeps with him, it's on her.. not him, it just some trim to him..

He did not make a promise to you, she does and did..

So congradulations on the upoming wedding..

[BITTAPART2]

damn bro just think about what she tries to see what she can do on her bachleroette party! like " i wonder if i could bang this stripper dude" J/K bro put the whiskey and the gun down. I dont know you but i imagine you flirt as well, it is harmless if left at flirting. just seeing if shes still got it, also very typical to feel this way b4 marriage

[Z12]

it means she flirted with a guy to see if she was still able too. Big deal! No harm done. I would not even think its worth talking to her about.

I disagree to some extent. No harm done, yes, but I would still talk to her about it.

First, if you wrote this in your diary and she found it - she would be PISSED. Even if she said she wasn't, she'd be lying. In my experience, girls are incredibly jealous.

Second, if you don't flirt with others as you claim, then can't you expect the same from her? If that's something you want, a wife/gf that won't flirt, then you should tell her that and it is perfectly okay to ask for that. If you really don't care, then don't say anything.

Finally, if you are upset about it, then make her feel bad. It sounds mean but if you really make her regret flirting around, she'll think twice before doing it again. Before you do that - have you flirted w other girls?? If you have, don't be a hippocrite.

All in all, no reason to call off the marriage. Most of that entry was about you bro. Good luck!

[Z12]

Firstly people who keep diaries are just asking for someone to find it and read it so dont go beating yourself up about that, secondy sounds like shes got the jitters just like you have with that marriage comment but who wouldnt, and thirdy if it read: My trainer banged me good and propper much better than my fiance does... then youd have something to worry about.

Agreed. I don't think that's a breech of trust/privacy. I guaranteed she's looked through all of your stuff, looking for "evidence."

[chest6]

I disagree to some extent. No harm done, yes, but I would still talk to her about it.

First, if you wrote this in your diary and she found it - she would be PISSED. Even if she said she wasn't, she'd be lying. In my experience, girls are incredibly jealous.

Second, if you don't flirt with others as you claim, then can't you expect the same from her? If that's something you want, a wife/gf that won't flirt, then you should tell her that and it is perfectly okay to ask for that. If you really don't care, then don't say anything.

Finally, if you are upset about it, then make her feel bad. It sounds mean but if you really make her regret flirting around, she'll think twice before doing it again. Before you do that - have you flirted w other girls?? If you have, don't be a hippocrite.

All in all, no reason to call off the marriage. Most of that entry was about you bro. Good luck!

I like this advice the best so far..

[paulzane]

I can't see what the problem is. Flirting is a natural thing. It is your jealously that is going to be the problem. You MUST control the GREEN MAN in you as it is such a destructive emotion.

[hateme]

Here is the answer right here dude" i flirted back but just to see if i could and i can so thats that! feel bad now though." What more do you want her to do ?

1. She wrote that in her diary to justify her flirting to herself. (woman can justify anything they do)

2. She said that the guy asked alot of questions, and she showed him up. She said this to justify her actions, and to cover herself in case she gets busted.


It may have been some harmelss flirting. But, she lied to you. (even though she will say she did not, because she can justify it.)

You sound young. I am guessing early 20's. Don't rush into getting married. Or, you will end up like ALL my friends who were married in their early to mid 20's, and are now divorced.


BTW...Women are Evil

http://nomarriage.com/

[paulzane]

http://nomarriage.com/ .......... brilliant

[hateme]

http://nomarriage.com/ .......... brilliant

It should be required reading for all males.

And, it should be enforced by friends when one of us get blinded by they pussy.

[Carlos_E]

Hey guys hope your training is going well!

Im getting married in less than 6 months, 23yrs old and something is bothering me, basically my fiance started her new job in december and had to undergo 7 weeks of training, before he could start.

Well just last week we were having lunch together and she told me about one of the trainers basically saying he singled her out in training, asking lots of questions, my fiance told me she took the piss out of him and showed him up, as she had some knowledge on areas he didnt. Well to me this sounded like the trainer was trying to make a play on my fiance.

Anyway i didnt really make anything else of it, other than it sat at the back of my mind, then on friday she went out to celebrate finishing training and a friend of my said he thought he saw my fiance flirting with some guy... On that same day she sent a message saying she loved me (which she rarely does!)

I was in limbo at this point as i didnt want to start an argument on hearsay... then i saw a diary entry that she made on saturday which read....



What does this mean?! i know i should not of read the diary, but its done. Im 6 months away from the biggest moment of my life, making a committment to the only woman i love and honour. Yet this comes up, it makes me question what else she has done in the past together and whats in store in the future. I could never flirt with another woman, i just dont see the point, my heart is with her, yeah other girls are attractive, but i only have eyes and love for my fiance,

anyone have any opinions?

It means you don't trust her and shouldn't get married. You should not be invading her privacy reading her diary.

[Snrf]

It means you don't trust her and shouldn't get married. You should not be invading her privacy reading her diary.

BINGO! exactly what I was thinking.


I personally don't give a rats ass if my girl flirts with people, jealousy is for insecure idiots. If we're in a club and guy's are hitting on her she's allowed to flirt back, it's a turn on cuz at the end of the night she's still going home with me no matter how hard they try.

get over your insecurities, learn to trust your girl or marriage is a stupid proposition

[Mike Dura]

anyone have any opinions?

This obviously has you feeling troubled and I can understand that. Maybe it's nothing. Then again, maybe it's a foreshadowing that she hasn't really played the field and got her fill (sort of speak). She's only 23 so that's a possiblity.

Many girls feel validated when they are flirted with - they like the feeling of being desired or thought of as attractive. That's gotta be part of the motive. But you're on thin ice when you flirt because it can easily lead to infedelity. I always start out with the idea that I'm just flirting but all of the sudden I find myself crossing the line and feeling bad afterwards. If you have any idea about her past (e.g., like she's cheated before) than that would give you a better idea of what she's capable of. Good luck bro. Don't let it bring you down.

[Carlos_E]

I don't see how you can talk to her about this without it going bad.

#1 She will be mad at you for invading her privacy reading her diary.
#2 She will be angry you do not trust her and think she's up to something. (If she isn't.)

Keep it to yourself until you have proof she is up to something. By confronting her if she is doing something it will only make her more sneaky about it.

[pumpd4lif]

if she is a geniun person u have nothing to worry about.but if i was u i would just clear the air tell her u trust her and thats part of the reason y ur getting married.but someone i know came up to me and asked if we were still together i said ya y ,well he saw u fluirting with another guy .to me that is harmless i just need u to reasure me that it was only flurting
i trust my wife 100% and i would never 2nd guess her.and if flurting is what she did then she will not take offense to u needing reasurance!

[rubix6]

No harm done here

[Z12]

if she is a geniun person u have nothing to worry about.but if i was u i would just clear the air tell her u trust her and thats part of the reason y ur getting married.but someone i know came up to me and asked if we were still together i said ya y ,well he saw u fluirting with another guy .to me that is harmless i just need u to reasure me that it was only flurting
i trust my wife 100% and i would never 2nd guess her.and if flurting is what she did then she will not take offense to u needing reasurance!

Yep, this is a good approach - buddy saw you at the club, etc....

[briancb1]

Like everyone else has said, you are jealous. If anything THAT will break up a relationship way faster than any flirting would.

Do you text 20 times a day and ask who she is with and where she is?

Give her some space or figure things out QUICK. I have 3 friends that married young and probably shouldn't have. Please don't be in that statistic. Be rational and remember she said yes to marrying YOU not some guy at her work. Relax

Good luck

[bigbouncinballs]

1. She wrote that in her diary to justify her flirting to herself. (woman can justify anything they do)

2. She said that the guy asked alot of questions, and she showed him up. She said this to justify her actions, and to cover herself in case she gets busted.


It may have been some harmelss flirting. But, she lied to you. (even though she will say she did not, because she can justify it.)

You sound young. I am guessing early 20's. Don't rush into getting married. Or, you will end up like ALL my friends who were married in their early to mid 20's, and are now divorced.


BTW...Women are Evil

http://nomarriage.com/

werd. and i dunno about the "loads" of flirting. i don't want to marry a flirt. i see those girls all the time that give me plenty of attention all the while sportin a big fat ring. not for my wife. i'd rather have that stone-cold hotty that makes you feel like you wouldn't have a chance if you were the last
d1ck on earth!!!

and thats probably not what happened. if you live together she knows you're gonna read that journal sometime, best not to put incriminating evidence in there. the "that was that" is the cover, girls don't put that sh!t in if they're the only one's readin it. chances are something else has happened if your boy's seen her STILL flirtin with him.

[RA]

werd. and i dunno about the "loads" of flirting. i don't want to marry a flirt. i see those girls all the time that give me plenty of attention all the while sportin a big fat ring. not for my wife. i'd rather have that stone-cold hotty that makes you feel like you wouldn't have a chance if you were the last
d1ck on earth!!!

haha, totally agree.

[Tru2]

werd. and i dunno about the "loads" of flirting. i don't want to marry a flirt. i see those girls all the time that give me plenty of attention all the while sportin a big fat ring. not for my wife. i'd rather have that stone-cold hotty that makes you feel like you wouldn't have a chance if you were the last
d1ck on earth!!!

IMO Flirting with someone at a bar is a bit different than playing up to someone in front of a crowded room of your peers.

But if you don't trust her already.. you gotta ask yourself what your doing.

[auslifta]

http://nomarriage.com/fd.html how did you find this

[n2ojones]

I have no problem with marriage...as long as there is divorce.

Unless you are prepared to operate/function under the above creed (mine), I would strongly suggest you either A) get counceling or B) wait a few more years.

I feel your pain, bro. Jealousy is a bitch. It's easy for many to say "don't be jealous"...but I imagine that is something you've already tried.

My advice is for you to figure out a constructive way to bring this up. i would totally disregard the particular event in question because you have already made your mind up that she is guilty. Not much good will come from it. Try a different angle and see how she responds. If she laughs in your face and says she enjoys this harmless activity...and you cannot accept it...no problem...but you need to go your seperate ways.

I am 47. Life has been VERY good to me and I have never felt the slightest bit of jealousy and/or insecurity. Until recently....

At 47, stll in pretty good shape, my best years are definately behind me. I recently married a stunning 23 year old. Fortunately she is more mature than I am and we get along famously. I have several employees and we all maintain something of a BB lifestyle. One particular guy, buffed but dumber than a rock, asked my then fiance if she wanted to go surfing. She said no...but asked how I would feel had she accepted.

My wife is VERY bright and this guy is not in her league. I was not slightly concerned accept for the fact that i know this dumbass CAN'T SURF!! He is lucky to still have a job...and teeth.

What did happen, though...is it caused us to raise some very sensitive ground. stuff I didn't even know existed inside me. I poured my guts and told her I was feeling a bit insecure because I am not liking this aging shit one bit. She was impressed by my honesty, assured me I had nothing to worry about and goes out of her way to prove as much. I did'nt ask her to become this cold-hearted hottie,,,but I must say it is comforting.

My point? tralk to her bro...without communication, your marriage will be shit.