Hey MSU: I currently do some marriage counseling at my church. More targeted towards younger couples than older, though. Having had several experiences with different couples with various issues, I will say this:

The marriage counselor that you two shall both agree upon will not be the "maker" or "breaker" of your marriage. A marriage counselor's job is not to convince the both of you that you need each other moving forward. No. A marriage counselor is basically an unbiased 3rd party person that serves as a liason between the both of your hearts. The marriage counselor is not responsible for opening both of your hearts, though. It is your job and your wife's job to bring an open and forgiving heart to the table in an attempt to reacquaint and salvage what you've obviously lost or forgotten.

I feel the need to share this because it sounds as if you may be putting too much faith into the marriage counselor. Remember what I told you, your circumstance didn't materialize overnight so don't expect for it to be healed overnight as well.

I'm here for you as always.