Orrr. Take her to La Z Boy (if you have any around you).

Tell her you're looking for a new mattress because the one you have now has bed bugs (I'm joking but it doesn't matter).

Throw her on a bed. Than jump up right beside her and start slamming her with the pillows. Theres too many different things to do.
Practice sexual positions untill you get escorted out.

Do it as a joke, not a perv. It will give you something awesome to talk about later on.