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Thread: you wanna laugh? read this

  1. #41
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    32,801
    J-dogg: Hey
    QT-Pie: Hey
    J-dogg: whats goin on
    QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
    J-dogg: J-dogg. Wanna cyber?
    QT-Pie: what does that mean?
    J-dogg: what are you wearing?
    QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
    J-dogg: Garter belt?
    QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
    J-dogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
    QT-Pie: uh, okay.
    J-dogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
    J-dogg: You're wet already. I can smell your ***** stink from here.
    QT-Pie: WHAT?!
    J-dogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
    J-dogg: You leave everything to J-dogg.
    J-dogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
    QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
    J-dogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
    QT-Pie: A stripe?
    J-dogg: I need a sandwich.
    QT-Pie: You're a freak.
    J-dogg: I was great. You loved it.

  2. #42
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    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky caul***ower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my caul***ower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by pewntang
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.


    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!

    I cant fvcking breathe!!!! Ohh man!! This is some funny shit!! lolololo-
    Last edited by Mogamedogz; 08-07-2007 at 02:50 PM.

  4. #44
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    i wish i was friends with this guy... lol..

  5. #45
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    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't **** with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    ---------------------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA:
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

  6. #46
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    old material, but extremely funny everytime i read it.

    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.


    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again

    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something



  7. #47
    oMFG ROFLMAO

  8. #48
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    this thread deserves to be bumped for every one to read..... i laughed for hours at this.

  9. #49
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    HAHAHA!!! Thank you, PEWN, for bumping this.

    I haven't laughed so hard in days!!!!

  10. #50
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    This is the funniest ish ever!!!!!!!!

  11. #51
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    oh my god... lol

  12. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by George View Post
    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ****ing charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: **** am I hard now.
    holy hell that's funny

  13. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by x_moe View Post
    did you guys read that one, he's under the name J-Dogg:

    Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
    J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
    Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
    J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
    Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
    J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
    Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
    J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
    Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
    J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
    Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
    J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
    Partner6: It likes that.
    J-Dogg: aight.
    Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
    J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
    Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
    J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
    Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
    J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
    Partner6: WTF?!
    J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
    Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only **** women...
    J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
    Partner6: You dipshit.
    J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
    J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
    Wonder if this is the same J-Dogg that is a member here??

  14. #54
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    this has to be some of the funniest shit ive ever read on the internet

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by PEWN View Post
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    OMG!

  16. #56
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    THAT Is sum of the funniest shiot iv seen in a while!!!

  17. #57
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    all i can do is crack up at all this. my coworkers are asking me what the hell is going on??

  18. #58
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    hahahahaha. holy shit. still laughing

  19. #59
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    wow

  20. #60
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    hahaha

  21. #61
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    Found this one. It's really long but well worth it!!!!



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    BloodNinja Seeker: bringing you the most complete set in one location
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    VictimX_27: Hi there!
    cheesedog: HEYA!
    VictimX_27: What u up 2?
    cheesedog: Nice English.
    cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
    VictimX_27: Get ****ed
    cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
    cheesedog: What's your name?
    VictimX_27: Whats yours?
    cheesedog: I asked you first.
    VictimX_27: I asked you second
    cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
    VictimX_27: huh
    cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
    cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
    VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
    cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
    VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
    cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
    VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
    VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
    cheesedog: Yes it is
    VictimX_27: Very handsome
    cheesedog: Thanks
    VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
    cheesedog: **** you.
    VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
    VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
    cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
    VictimX_27: Yeah
    cheesedog: What do you look like?
    cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
    VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
    cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
    VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
    cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
    cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
    VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
    cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
    VictimX_27: Nahhh
    cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
    VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
    cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
    cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
    VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
    cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
    VictimX_27: You don't even know me
    cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
    VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
    cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
    cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
    VictimX_27: You don't understand
    cheesedog: Is it that bad?
    VictimX_27: YESSSSS
    cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: She is the bomb!
    cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
    VictimX_27: Wheezy?
    cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
    VictimX_27: Who is that?
    cheesedog: George's wife.
    VictimX_27: Who is george
    cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: Are you ****ing deaf?
    VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
    cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
    VictimX_27: wut?
    cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
    VictimX_27: Should I?
    cheesedog: Yes.
    VictimX_27: Well I don't.
    cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
    VictimX_27: huhhh?
    cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
    VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
    cheesedog: Hold on a second
    cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
    VictimX_27: Thats her?
    cheesedog: Yep
    VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
    VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
    cheesedog: What's funny?
    VictimX_27: u r
    cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
    VictimX_27: me 2
    cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
    VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
    cheesedog: Never
    VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
    cheesedog: ???
    VictimX_27: I'm very white
    cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
    VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
    cheesedog: really?
    VictimX_27: I'm an albino
    cheesedog: a what?
    VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
    cheesedog: I've heard the word before
    VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
    VictimX_27: So I'm all white
    cheesedog: This is bullshit
    VictimX_27: I'm serious!
    VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
    cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
    VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
    cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
    VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
    cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
    VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
    cheesedog: Ok
    VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
    cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
    VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
    cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
    cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
    cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
    VictimX_27: Thank u
    cheesedog: No problem
    cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
    VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
    cheesedog: Yes
    VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
    VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
    cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
    VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
    cheesedog: I'm serious
    VictimX_27: We'll see.
    cheesedog: Yes we will.
    VictimX_27: Bye for now!
    cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
    VictimX_27: *USER HAS LOGGED OUT*

    About 3 hours later...

    VictimX_27: HEY!
    cheesedog: Hello there
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
    VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
    cheesedog: Interesting
    VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
    cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: Is that a yes?
    VictimX_27: Could be
    VictimX_27:
    cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
    cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
    cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
    VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
    cheesedog: Why?
    VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
    cheesedog: What do you mean?
    VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
    cheesedog: Of course not.
    cheesedog: I like you.
    VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
    cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
    cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
    cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
    VictimX_27: WAIT!
    cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
    VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
    VictimX_27: Like what I like?
    cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
    VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
    cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
    VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
    VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
    cheesedog: ok
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: np
    VictimX_27: thank you
    cheesedog: So what do you like?
    VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
    cheesedog: Where?
    VictimX_27: Everywhere
    cheesedog: Any place in particular?
    VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
    cheesedog: tell me
    VictimX_27: on my clit
    cheesedog: OK!
    cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
    VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
    cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
    cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
    cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
    cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
    VictimX_27: Uh huh
    cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
    cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
    cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your *****
    VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
    cheesedog: I place my mouth on your ***** as I eat you from behind
    cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
    VictimX_27: yessss
    cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
    cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
    cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
    VictimX_27: ???
    cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
    cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
    cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
    VictimX_27: WHAT THE **** IS THIS SHIT!!!
    cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
    cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
    cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
    cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
    VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
    cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
    cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
    VictimX_27: YOU ARE A ****ING ASSHOLE!
    cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE **** UP!
    cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
    cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
    VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
    cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
    VictimX_27: **** YOUUUU
    cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
    VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND **** YOUUUU!!!!!
    cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
    VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
    cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
    cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
    cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
    cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
    cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
    VictimX_27: **** YOU!!!!!!!!
    cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
    VictimX_27: *USER HAS LOGGED OUT*

  22. #62
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    were the fvck are u guys getting these things from???

  23. #63
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    bump

  24. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schmidty View Post
    were the fvck are u guys getting these things from???
    try bloodninja seeker

  25. #65
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    roflmfao. this great.

  26. #66
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    Im sittin here reading these wishing I had time to do what these guys are doing cause its f'ing hillarious. Then I realize, I just spent like a half hour reading this thread... Keep em comin!

  27. #67
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    this is so fvckn funny i cant get over it!!!

  28. #68
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    Holy shit, i cant stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. #69
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    This shit was really funny. lol

  30. #70
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    I printed these out and showed them to my colleagues during lunch. We all laughed our asses off. These girls are either very ugly, very stupid, very horny, or all three, 'cause they fall for this shit.

  31. #71
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    Bump
    If people can't tell your on steroids then your doing them wrong

  32. #72
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Back from Afghanistan
    Posts
    27,376
    hey Gix, whatchya bumpin this ol' thing for?

  33. #73
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    32,801
    Cause its,funny. I miss some of the old fun and different topics
    If people can't tell your on steroids then your doing them wrong

  34. #74
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    BC-CANADA
    Posts
    1,123
    Im laughing so harrrd I can barely see the screen as I type this! That was so fvcking hilarious

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