worse sexual partners u ever had

[thegodfather]

The absolute worst when I was 17...I started talking to this bitch...She came over and im fingering her, and I start to smell a little something...but I ignore it and keep going...So i pull my dick out and jam it in her, and then by that point i was literally gagging the smell was so bad that I only pumped about 10 times before going completely limp...I instantly made up a story about how I forgot I had to do something for one of my friends and I'd be taking her home RIGHT THEN.

I was afraid to touch my steering wheel on the way home with the hand i fingered her with because it smelled so putrid...So I drop her off and go home...I walked into my room and the entire room smelled like her disgusting crotch... I go and take a shower, and i can't get the smell off my dick or my two fingers....So i got out and went to the kitchen and grabbed Dawn dish soap, and was scrubbing my cock, balls, and two fingers with a wash cloth and dawn for about 30mins strait.... The smell lasted on my dick and balls for at least 3 days before I couldn't smell it anymore.... It was the most disgusting smell I have ever experienced in my life....

There were many more stories but I cant think about them right now...That one stood out in my mind the most, and has scarred me for life...Now if i get the slightest hint of a smell I bounceeeeee...

[scibble]

ummm, OK, the cleavage thread does more for me than this thread here...

lol

[AnimalGear]

freshmen year I was getting head in this girls dorm room and I lost my boner in her mouth because 1)she was ugly and 2)she tried to stick her thumb in my penis hole....it wasn't a pleasant experience whatsoever.

live and learn

[Nicotine]

Yielding to passions of the moment while putting groceries away in the kitchen. My partner & I got it on next to the fridge, and when we needed some lubricant, I reached for mayonaisse.
The mayo worked great for about 5 minutes, then it began to give off an odor, and the smell grew so intense that we had to quit . . .
Next time, we used butter.

crisco works better.

esp when your partner wants to get into some fisting

[Bojangles69]

I was with this smoking redhead at a movie theater a few years back (she had just turned 18) and her friend told me she didn't kiss guys because she was bad at it but did like doing *other things.
So naturally I tried making out with her in the movie theater and she was TERRIBLE.

The movie sucked, so I tried again, and again, and she had no flow whatsoever, just had no idea how to kiss at all. I felt like an idiot.
I asked her to come with me to get a drink, and as we got to the door I pulled her by her hand to the back seats (thinking about the *other stuff she actually liked). Sat her down and tried fingering her, dry as the desert, went for the boobies, no moaning or anything.
At this point I'm like "wtf is this girls deal, I know I'm not bad at this shit".

Sitting there for like 5 mins and she keeps reaching her hand into the popcorn but reaching really far down and shaking the container like an idiot. After like 2 mins I'm like "fvck this".
She's got her eyes glued on the movie (which is absolutely terrible) I put the popcorn in the empty seat next to me.
Her hand comes down and touches my dick.

I'm thinking "OMG I'm such a fvkn idiot" Girl starts going at it. REALLY good at it. I take it out and till one of these days on of the best blowjobs I ever got. She didn't know how to do much, but that was one of the best nights of my life. Guess I got a bit off topic here lol.

[Oki-Des]

I was dating a girl that had a twin sister. One night while spending the night at her house with some friends drinking, I was woken while sleeping on her couch by her riding me. She must have got me going while asleep and decided to hop on. I pretended to be asleep while she continued to have her way with me. As I lay there with my eyes almost closed as to appear to still be sleeping I noticed someone else walked up beside us. The other person bent over and whispered to the girl riding me "I told you he was big" quietly came from her lips.
I then realized I was having sex with my girlfriends sister while my girlfriend was watching. Oh wait, these are supposed to be the worst stories ever. Sorry, I had to tell this one.
I cant think of a bad one. Sex to me is like pizza; even if its bad it is still pretty good.

[calgarian]

I was dating a girl that had a twin sister. One night while spending the night at her house with some friends drinking, I was woken while sleeping on her couch by her riding me. She must have got me going while asleep and decided to hop on. I pretended to be asleep while she continued to have her way with me. As I lay there with my eyes almost closed as to appear to still be sleeping I noticed someone else walked up beside us. The other person bent over and whispered to the girl riding me "I told you he was big" quietly came from her lips.
I then realized I was having sex with my girlfriends sister while my girlfriend was watching. Oh wait, these are supposed to be the worst stories ever. Sorry, I had to tell this one.
I cant think of a bad one. Sex to me is like pizza; even if its bad it is still pretty good.

thanks for living my fantasy u a$$hole



bad sex i thought it was a myth.

[playboii]

well she attempted it.

i would of stopped her and said "seriously wtf are you doing?"

[mex83]

One time I was dating this dude and we were going at it one night... then all of the sudden while I am full trubo I just get this wetter than usual feeling on my dick then I get this smell too. I did the mistake to touch my dick to see what the wet stuff was and I then notice that It was diaherra.... come on lol... if you got an upset stomach I would rather have you tell me not tonight than to not tell me nothing and I have to find out on my own. Pretty bad shit lol....

Chilli Dog anyone lmfao

[legobricks]

One time I was dating this dude and we were going at it one night... then all of the sudden while I am full trubo I just get this wetter than usual feeling on my dick then I get this smell too. I did the mistake to touch my dick to see what the wet stuff was and I then notice that It was diaherra.... come on lol... if you got an upset stomach I would rather have you tell me not tonight than to not tell me nothing and I have to find out on my own. Pretty bad shit lol....

Chilli Dog anyone lmfao

Thats too much bro......

i actually had one bad one bout 2 months ago.....she was on the rag and i really didnt care cus i just wanted to nail her (cute with a SLAMMIN lil body on here) and she didnt tell me she was on the rag till i was naked and already on top of her. So i wrapped up and went for it....OMFG that shit smelled so bad i had to stop and leave the room, shower, then go sleep on the couch. She asked whats wrong and i told her i got sick from the smell she didnt talked to me anymore.

[RuhlFreak55]

Thats too much bro......

i actually had one bad one bout 2 months ago.....she was on the rag and i really didnt care cus i just wanted to nail her (cute with a SLAMMIN lil body on here) and she didnt tell me she was on the rag till i was naked and already on top of her. So i wrapped up and went for it....OMFG that shit smelled so bad i had to stop and leave the room, shower, then go sleep on the couch. She asked whats wrong and i told her i got sick from the smell she didnt talked to me anymore.

you prolly broke her lil heart

[calgarian]

Thats too much bro......

i actually had one bad one bout 2 months ago.....she was on the rag and i really didnt care cus i just wanted to nail her (cute with a SLAMMIN lil body on here) and she didnt tell me she was on the rag till i was naked and already on top of her. So i wrapped up and went for it....OMFG that shit smelled so bad i had to stop and leave the room, shower, then go sleep on the couch. She asked whats wrong and i told her i got sick from the smell she didnt talked to me anymore.

You should've just thought

"Cover the nose fvck the hoo"... but you missed the opportunity.

[mex83]

Thats too much bro......

i actually had one bad one bout 2 months ago.....she was on the rag and i really didnt care cus i just wanted to nail her (cute with a SLAMMIN lil body on here) and she didnt tell me she was on the rag till i was naked and already on top of her. So i wrapped up and went for it....OMFG that shit smelled so bad i had to stop and leave the room, shower, then go sleep on the couch. She asked whats wrong and i told her i got sick from the smell she didnt talked to me anymore.

Lol good one ...... I got another one lol...

This one got me pissed lol....

So I met up for a movie with some married dude ok he had never been with another guy before and shit... He was a marine so yeah pretty hot body and stuff... really solid and toned up.... So we are making out in the car and shit then I get all worked out and shit and we make it to the back of seat. I take off his pants and shit undies.... I spread out his nice muscled up big booty and it was normal ok.... then I start eating it out and all of the sudden I started working my way depper and depper homie was moaning like a lil bitch and massaging my shaved head... ( bad mistake since that works me out more) well all of the sudden I start getting this nasty real nasty taste and smell out of his hole.... I didnt do much about it since I said its an asshole after all it will go away right now.... the hell it did... the taste just got worse and shit to the point that I was going to throw up and shit... I told him that we had to cut it short because he had to go home to his wife and I had to go home and go to sleep because I had to wake up early the following morning to go out of town.

When I left he kept on texting me how I made him almost faint and moaning and shit.... I told him thanks for the complements, but what I really wanted to tell him was shit you always made me faint but from the nasty all smell and taste that was coming out of your butthole..

The following day he had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to suck me off but that he didnt because I was uncut and he knew that an uncut dick had a different taste from a cut one. I said WTF lol.... oh no you didnt... you think that my dick smells shit you should check your butthole that shit is still on my face and I cant get the smell out of my hands... He got offended and stopped talking to me lol... Thank god, he could go with his dirtty smelly butthole somewhere else.

FYI: I always wash my uncut dick with Shampoo and Body wash just to make it smell good.

that Fcker.

[calgarian]

Lol good one ...... I got another one lol...

This one got me pissed lol....

So I met up for a movie with some married dude ok he had never been with another guy before and shit... He was a marine so yeah pretty hot body and stuff... really solid and toned up.... So we are making out in the car and shit then I get all worked out and shit and we make it to the back of seat. I take off his pants and shit undies.... I spread out his nice muscled up big booty and it was normal ok.... then I start eating it out and all of the sudden I started working my way depper and depper homie was moaning like a lil bitch and massaging my shaved head... ( bad mistake since that works me out more) well all of the sudden I start getting this nasty real nasty taste and smell out of his hole.... I didnt do much about it since I said its an asshole after all it will go away right now.... the hell it did... the taste just got worse and shit to the point that I was going to throw up and shit... I told him that we had to cut it short because he had to go home to his wife and I had to go home and go to sleep because I had to wake up early the following morning to go out of town.

When I left he kept on texting me how I made him almost faint and moaning and shit.... I told him thanks for the complements, but what I really wanted to tell him was shit you always made me faint but from the nasty all smell and taste that was coming out of your butthole..

The following day he had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to suck me off but that he didnt because I was uncut and he knew that an uncut dick had a different taste from a cut one. I said WTF lol.... oh no you didnt... you think that my dick smells shit you should check your butthole that shit is still on my face and I cant get the smell out of my hands... He got offended and stopped talking to me lol... Thank god, he could go with his dirtty smelly butthole somewhere else.

FYI: I always wash my uncut dick with Shampoo and Body wash just to make it smell good.

that Fcker.

[mex83]

lmfao...... that what I said too Calgarian it was some pretty funny shit once I got past my pissed off mood

[number twelve]

a few years ago, a girl gave me her first blow job, i tried to coach her up but she did some work on my d!ck with her teeth b4 she got the hang of it...i still have a scar and i couldn't do anything for a few days after cause any time clothing rubbed against me i would be in horrible pain haha

[mex83]

a few years ago, a girl gave me her first blow job, i tried to coach her up but she did some work on my d!ck with her teeth b4 she got the hang of it...i still have a scar and i couldn't do anything for a few days after cause any time clothing rubbed against me i would be in horrible pain haha

WE got a biter lol.

[crazycrab]

ok i was banging this chic in missionary while she was playing with herself and my cock slipped out and i rammed in into her finger nail. so i had this quarter moon shaped cut and was bleeding like a mofo. F-U-N :|

Had that happen to me also. Hurt to much to have sex for two weeks.

[mex83]

Imagine getting your foreskin but by someone's teeth.... not fun at all... you will for sure have a bleeder for weeks there...

[james21]

mex i think you single handedly killed this thread

[mex83]

mex i think you single handedly killed this thread

lol....

[calgarian]

mex i think you single handedly killed this thread

I am waiting for DSM and Nicotine.

[mex83]

I am waiting for DSM and Nicotine.

for what see what they got to say about there bad ones lol.

[calgarian]

for what see what they got to say about there bad ones lol.

yep....

[hldr1027]

That makes i tear come to my eye just thinking about it lol!

One of the worst things I can remember is when I was going down on this girl and all of a sudden I licked something out of her, only to find out later in the night that it was a piece of a rubber, sick or what!!!

[mex83]

That makes i tear come to my eye just thinking about it lol!

One of the worst things I can remember is when I was going down on this girl and all of a sudden I licked something out of her, only to find out later in the night that it was a piece of a rubber, sick or what!!!

WAIT WAIT WIAT a piece of a rubber...... what kind of rubber like a condom.... WTF how can a piece of condom get in there and even more weird how can it stay there... was she fvcking eating the condom or something lol.... yeah that is pretty sick and weird at the same time.... but my diaherra and stinky butthole still tops yours lol.

[Bojangles69]

mex i think you single handedly killed this thread

I could imagine someone posting a thread "whats the biggest fight you ever got in to?" and some dude came in and said "I shot my friend 47 times in the face then ate his brains".


I'd just be like "ok you win, please close thread".

[calgarian]

I wonder where DSM is????

[Dukkit]

did anyone say this already?








YOUR MOM???



definitly the worst, by far.
haha. lol. just messing.

[Nicotine]

i already posted my bad one :P

[thegodfather]

This is some of the sickest shit ive heard in my life....you guys are fuc*ed up...lol

[Bojangles69]

I was with this girl once and she was giving me head. She was trying to go down real far and when she gagged she threw up this lava looking mess of crispy cream donuts all over my cock.
I didn't really mind, she kept going at it but the smell got to me so I threw up all over her head. I guess it didn't bother her either so we start going at it covered in each others vomit (it was really sexy) and when I went to put it in her pooper she accidentally farted blood all over my peeper.
(guess she had hemoroids or something).
Well I just laughed and put it in. As we were going at it I got the strong urge to pee so I took it out and just went all over her back. I was so embarassed but she told me to just keep going.
As she was about to orgasm she pooped (because she was so excited) and it flew into my mouth. It was kind of gross but I just spit it out all over her and started spanking her spreading feces everywhere.
Soon afterward I was so grossed out but she liked so I finished all over her unleashing about 1/4 gallon of semen all over the poop, piss, and vomit that she was covered in.

It was just a little gross but we didn't mind. I mean its sex right? Why should something like poop get in the way? Well as I stand there with my hands encrusted to her butt cheeks with her own poop, my dog came over, started sniffing around, then lifted his leg and peed on us both!! Was rather an unfavorable experience but I'm sure mex could think of something worse.

=]

[dwaynewade]

chick was drunk... she was riding, then i started jabbing her and next thing you know she sharts ... THE END.

[mex83]

I was with this girl once and she was giving me head. She was trying to go down real far and when she gagged she threw up this lava looking mess of crispy cream donuts all over my cock.
I didn't really mind, she kept going at it but the smell got to me so I threw up all over her head. I guess it didn't bother her either so we start going at it covered in each others vomit (it was really sexy) and when I went to put it in her pooper she accidentally farted blood all over my peeper.
(guess she had hemoroids or something).
Well I just laughed and put it in. As we were going at it I got the strong urge to pee so I took it out and just went all over her back. I was so embarassed but she told me to just keep going.
As she was about to orgasm she pooped (because she was so excited) and it flew into my mouth. It was kind of gross but I just spit it out all over her and started spanking her spreading feces everywhere.
Soon afterward I was so grossed out but she liked so I finished all over her unleashing about 1/4 gallon of semen all over the poop, piss, and vomit that she was covered in.

It was just a little gross but we didn't mind. I mean its sex right? Why should something like poop get in the way? Well as I stand there with my hands encrusted to her butt cheeks with her own poop, my dog came over, started sniffing around, then lifted his leg and peed on us both!! Was rather an unfavorable experience but I'm sure mex could think of something worse.

=]

Hmmm and you expect us to believe this lol.

[Bojangles69]

ahaa, I was trying to set you up!

I just think you can do better (well worse) then the previous 2. Consider it a vote of confidence.

[mex83]

ahaa, I was trying to set you up!

I just think you can do better (well worse) then the previous 2. Consider it a vote of confidence.

Lmfao.... well sadly mine are real lol... nasty shyt but its real lol... there are some down sides to ****ing a dude lol...

[thegodfather]

Lmfao.... well sadly mine are real lol... nasty shyt but its real lol... there are some down sides to ****ing a dude lol...

And the up sides would beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???


Lol just playin man...

[mex83]

And the up sides would beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???


Lol just playin man...

Lol tooooooo many to list ...... just keep it at a dude knows what and how another dude likes it lol....

[hldr1027]

Yeah it was a piece of rubber jonny "comdom", it was inside her p*ssy lol, it must have been in there from some guy she was shagging the night before!

Made me think twice about going down on any girl again!!!

[mex83]

Yeah it was a piece of rubber jonny "comdom", it was inside her p*ssy lol, it must have been in there from some guy she was shagging the night before!

Made me think twice about going down on any girl again!!!

LMFAO that is toooooooooooooooo funny bro... yeah I would think the same thing....