The Unofficial "Ask a Muslim" Thread.

[Surreal]

Peace be unto you, Surreal.



"Temporary marriage" is nothing less than prostitution, and is completely forbidden in orthodox (Sunni) Islam. It is only permissible in Shi'ism.

Temporary marriage was a pre-Islamic custom of pagan Arabia. Prophet Muhammad [s] forbade it. The Prophet's disciple and the Fourth Caliph of Islam stated:

“The Messenger of God had forbidden temporary marriage on the Day of Khaibar.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

And this is mass-transmitted from the Prophet's disciples. According to Sunni Islam, the punishment for the one who engages in it is lashing and/or death. Although the general rule of thumb is that fornication and adultery go unpunished (see my earlier post on this issue), the one who engages in so-called "temporary marriage" is punished swiftly to ensure that such atrocious beliefs do not become prevalent in society.

Keep in mind that 85-90% of Muslims are Sunnis. This issue, i.e. "temporary marriage", is one that causes a lot of friction between Sunnis and Shi'ites. Shi'ites believe that the narration from the Fourth Caliph of Islam--which forbids temporary marriage--was narrated under Taqiyyah. Taqiyyah is another belief specific to Shi'ism and rejected by orthodox Islam. Taqiyyah means that a person narrates something other than the truth for fear of religious persecution. This belief evolved in Shi'ism due to Sunni persecution of the minority Shi'ites. (A similar thing to Taqiyyah evolved in Judaism, due to Christian persecution of Jews.)

In any case, orthodox (Sunni) Muslims reject both temporary marriage and Taqiyyah. We say: how can you know anything of a religion when you don't know what is true and what is a lie? Furthermore, the prohibition of temporary marriage has been mass-transmitted through numerous disciples of the Prophet other than the Fourth Caliph.

One of my first posts in this thread (check the first page) explains the difference between Sunnis and Shi'ites. Like I said there, I consider Shi'ism to be a separate religion altogether.

Hope that helps.

In the Care of the Lord,
-Saladin.

I appreciate your thoughts. I understand that temporary marriage licenses have been largely granted for the purposes of prostitution, but do they serve any other purpose? For example, will it be possible for a couple to secure such a license to "tryout" marriage, or to engage in activities normally reserved for married couples (I'm thinking maybe something like sharing a room or bed together while on vacation?) before they're fully prepared and ready to commit to marriage.

Also, is it easy to secure a divorce for men of your position?

[BuffedGuy]

Peace be unto you, Surreal.

I appreciate your thoughts. I understand that temporary marriage licenses have been largely granted for the purposes of prostitution, but do they serve any other purpose? For example, will it be possible for a couple to secure such a license to "tryout" marriage, or to engage in activities normally reserved for married couples (I'm thinking maybe something like sharing a room or bed together while on vacation?) before they're fully prepared and ready to commit to marriage.

You would have to ask all of this to a Shi'ite. My personal belief--and the belief of the orthodox (Sunni) Islamic scholars--is that all this, i.e. a trial period, is the same thing that some Non-Muslim Westerners do when they date women. There doesn't seem to be any meaningful difference between the two. As such, if we are critical of one (dating), should we not be critical of the other (temporary marriage)? There seems to be no difference between the two other than semantics. Does not a rose still smell as sweet by any other name?

I think that this issue--of simply renaming something--is one of the overall criticisms of orthodox (Sunni) Islam of Shi'ism. For example, the Shi'ites believe in "Imams", which we believe is the same exact same thing as "Prophets". So we accuse them of negating the Finality of Prophethood (the Quran declares Prophet Muhammad [s] as the Final Seal of the Prophets). The Shi'ites say: "No, we believe in Imams that come after him, not Prophets." But we (Sunnis) say: There is no meaningful difference between what you call a prophet and what you call an Imam; the station is the same, and you simply changed the name. Similarly, and more offensive to our orthodox (Sunni) doctrine is that the Shi'ites supplicate in prayer (du`a) to their Imams, whereas the Quran forbids all du`a (supplication) except to God directly; when we challenge them, they say: "we are not doing du`a (supplication) to them, but rather we are doing Istighatha or Tawassul (seeking a means)." Our criticism of them is that the matter is the same, but you have simply changed the name 'du`a' to 'Istighatha' even though the action is the same.

In other words, simply giving a new name to something does not change the substance of said thing. Therefore, we believe that "temporary marriage" is just another name for fornication, adultery, prostitution, and/or dating. It should be known that Prophet Muhammad [s] specifically warned the Muslims that a time would come when people would rename things in order to make them permissible. And we see this today when so many "Islamic loans" are being offered, which supposedly get rid of interest but which in reality just call the "interest" as something else.

To conclude, we orthodox (Sunni) Muslims believe that marriage must be permanent and that there can be no "trial" or "shareware" period. I understand the logic behind dating: after all, we don't buy a car without test driving it first, so how about a life partner? But we believe that the entire dating experience creates an unstable system of relationships, causes divorces to skyrocket, creates broken families, children out of wedlock without father figures, etc.

As Muslims, we are instructed to remind the People of the Book of the way which they have lost. The Quran describes itself as "The Reminder"; in other words, there is nothing new in it. It was all taught to the People of the Book, but they forgot a part of it, so the Quran was sent to remind them. So we want to remind them that their own religion--the Abrahamic faiths in general--have forbidden dating.

Also, is it easy to secure a divorce for men of your position?

What do you mean "of your position"? Can you elaborate? I'm a broke medical student who lives on a $150 allowance per month. So can you explain what you mean by "your position"? lol

In the Care of the Lord,
-Saladin.

[Surreal]

What do you mean "of your position"? Can you elaborate? I'm a broke medical student who lives on a $150 allowance per month. So can you explain what you mean by "your position"? lol

Someone with a religious and cultural background akin to yours.

[BuffedGuy]

Someone with a religious and cultural background akin to yours.

Divorce is seen as one of the worst of permissible things. In other words, it is allowed but strongly discouraged. Every possible effort should be made to preserve and maintain the marriage.

However, Islam recognizes that certain marriages are simply not healthy for one or both parties. Therefore, divorce is a permissible option. The process of seeking a divorce is relatively easy.

So this is from a religious perspective.

Culturally, however, it is a bit more difficult, especially for women. (I'm ethnically Pakistani.) It should not be this way, and this goes against our religion, which was meant to facilitate ease, not to force people into unhealthy and miserable marriages.

Once a woman becomes a divorcee, she has very poor marriage prospects in the Pakistani community. She is condemned to a life of spinsterhood. This is opposed to the Islamic ethos: Prophet Muhammad [s] married old widows and divorcees. (Yes, polygamy is allowed in Islam and the Prophet [s] had many wives, but contrary to common Western [mis]perception, he married old women and undesirable women, whom nobody else would marry. Only one of his wives was not a divorcee or widow. There were multiple instances in which a woman would come to the Prophet [s] complaining that nobody would marry her due to being a divorcee, old widow, etc., and the Prophet [s] said "I will marry you." The reality then is that the Prophet's multiple marriages are not a proof against him as the Islamophobes insist...their claims that our noble Prophet [s] was a "sexual fiend" [I seek refuge in the Lord Most High from such blasphemy!] fall on deaf ears....Rather, the Prophet's marriages are a sign of his mercy, soft heart, and compassion. He became the sole leader of all Arabia, and he could easily have married the "sexiest" women of the area, like other monarchs of his time did. But instead he chose to marry pious old widows and divorcees whom nobody else desired.)

So this is an area where the Pakistani community needs to improve itself. The stigma attached to a divorcee or a widow should be removed, because such a thing goes against Islam and comes from the pre-Islamic pagan traditions of the region, which commanded the wife to burn herself when her husband dies. Islam came to get rid of all that.

As for men in the Pakistani community, being a divorcee most definitely hurts their prospects significantly, but they can usually re-marry (with difficulty), whereas the women are...screwed, so to speak. (Forgive my French.)

In the Care of the Lord,
-Saladin.

[BuffedGuy]

I thought I'd share some beautiful verses in the Quran about dealing with grief and tribulation, which have really helped me recently:

"It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing which is bad for you. And God knows and you do not know!” (Quran 2:216)

“Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ‘We believe’, and that they will not be put to the test? And certainly We tested those before them, so that God will differentiate those who are true from those who are false.” (Quran 29:2-3)

“God will not leave the believers in the state in which they are now, until He shall separate the wicked from the good.” (Quran 3:179)

“We shall certainly test you, until We know those of you who strive their utmost for God and who are the steadfast; and We shall test your reported mettle.” (Quran 47:31)

“Or do you expect to enter Paradise without facing such trials as did those before you?” (Quran 2:214)

“We will surely test you with something of fear and huger, and the loss of wealth and lives and the fruits of your toil, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say—when afflicted with calamity—'To God We belong, and to Him we shall return!' They are on those whom descend blessings from their Lord, and Mercy. Such are the rightly guided.” (Quran 2:155-157)

“And know that your worldly possessions and your children are but a test, and that it is with God with Whom lies your highest reward.” (Quran 8:28)

“You shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your lives; and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you…But if you patiently persevere and be pious, then surely this will be of great resolution!” (Quran 3:186)

“And none shall be granted such goodness, except those who are steadfast.” (Quran 41:35)

“Your Lord is He that makes the ship go smoothly through the sea for you that you may seek of His Grace, for He is Most Merciful to you. When distress seizes you at sea, you cry to nobody save Him, but when He brings you back safely to the land, you turn away from Him. Most ungrateful is man! ” (Quran 17:66-67)

“We shower Our Mercy upon whomever We will, and We never fail to recompense the righteous. Additionally, the reward in the Hereafter is even better for those who believe and lead a righteous life.” (Quran 12:56-57)

“By the Glorious Morning Light, and by the Night when it is still! The Guardian-Lord has not forsaken you nor does He hate you. And verily the Hereafter will be better for you than the present. And soon will your Guardian-Lord give you that wherewith you shall be well-pleased.” (Quran 93:1-5)