greatest joke ever

[powerful intelligent]

A husband and wife are having sex. Their 6 year old walks in on them while the father is getting the mother "doggie style". The father laughs at his son and the boy tramatized run out of the room. A hour passes and the father figures that he should talk to his son about what he saw. The father puts on his robe and walks to the boys room. He opens the door and sees his son banging the father's mother. The father screams; son, what are you doing? the boy said; see, its not funny when its your mother!
share some of your jokes

[Western Man]

A teenage girl asks her father to borrow the car. Father says, "well, you know what you have to do if you wanna borrow the car" and proceeds to unzip his fly and take his dick out.

The daughter goes over and starts blowing him. After a few seconds she stops and says, "I can't do this because your dick tastes like shit!"

The father says, "Oh that's right! I forgot your mother has the car."

[powerful intelligent]

man comes home from work and notices his girlfriend packing her things. He asks her "what is wrong? Why are you leaving? The girlfriend responds indignatly, "I an leaving you because you are a pedophille". The man responds "wow pedophille is a big word for a 4 year old".

[dangerous dan]

man and wife laid in bed, man is reading his book and wife is laid up bored, so she starts trying to get her husband to fukk her, he refuses ''no im up early in the morning so im reading my book then going to sleep'' wife turns over in a strop. ten mins later she rolls back over and says ''i thought you didnt want sex'' he says '' i dont whats gave you that idea?'' women is confused and says ''well why do you keep stroking my fanny?'' man replys ''ohh im just wetting my fingure to turn the page''

[RyanRoss]

man and wife laid in bed, man is reading his book and wife is laid up bored, so she starts trying to get her husband to fukk her, he refuses ''no im up early in the morning so im reading my book then going to sleep'' wife turns over in a strop. ten mins later she rolls back over and says ''i thought you didnt want sex'' he says '' i dont whats gave you that idea?'' women is confused and says ''well why do you keep stroking my fanny?'' man replys ''ohh im just wetting my fingure to turn the page''

hahaha! Nice one! That would tick a lady off

So there are these two muffins, baking in the oven....One muffin looks at the other and goes, "Dude...it is SO damn hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and goes AHHHHHHH!!! TALKING MUFFIN!!!

[dangerous dan]

hahahahah that was bad, but funny because it was so bad

[higherdesire]

Older man walk into the wood swith a little boy while holding his hand the little boy says "Mister I'm scared" the man looks at him and says "How do you think I feel I have to walk out of here alone?"

[stack_it]

Another bad joke



What do you get when you cross a lesbian dinosaur and an octopus?




A lickalottapuss

[Gaspari1255]

A boy asks his father if he could borrow his car for the night. The father says "yes, but you have to suck daddy's d*ck." The boy finally gives into it and begins sucking him, as soon as he starts, the boy shouts "Jeeze daddy! this tastes like shit." The father replies, "oh yeah I forgot, your sister borrowed it first."

[stack_it]

A boy asks his father if he could borrow his car for the night. The father says "yes, but you have to suck daddy's d*ck." The boy finally gives into it and begins sucking him, as soon as he starts, the boy shouts "Jeeze daddy! this tastes like shit." The father replies, "oh yeah I forgot, your sister borrowed it first."

Sounds just like post #2

[powerful intelligent]

what do you say to a women with two black eyes?
nothing someone already told her twice

[swol_je]

U kno why women have small feet?


So they can stand close to the sink.

[Gaspari1255]

Sounds just like post #2

shit. i should really start reading other peoples posts, lol.

[lovbyts]

A teenage girl asks her father to borrow the car. Father says, "well, you know what you have to do if you wanna borrow the car" and proceeds to unzip his fly and take his dick out.

The daughter goes over and starts blowing him. After a few seconds she stops and says, "I can't do this because your dick tastes like shit!"

The father says, "Oh that's right! I forgot your mother has the car."

Incest is best. LOL

man comes home from work and notices his girlfriend packing her things. He asks her "what is wrong? Why are you leaving? The girlfriend responds indignatly, "I an leaving you because you are a pedophille". The man responds "wow pedophille is a big word for a 4 year old".

Sex after 8 is to late

[lovbyts]

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms


Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee


He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.


The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.'

[lovbyts]

Sorry some day Ill figure out how to embed it instead of only attaching it.

[lovbyts]

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."

[lovbyts]

An English guy is back home with his new Thai bride, they lay in bed one cold Sunday morning after just having sex and she is stroking his cock. “Honey” he says, “why do you like stroking my cock so much? is it because it’s so big?” she reply’s “no honey, it’s because I miss mine”

[powerful intelligent]

An English guy is back home with his new Thai bride, they lay in bed one cold Sunday morning after just having sex and she is stroking his cock. “Honey” he says, “why do you like stroking my cock so much? is it because it’s so big?” she reply’s “no honey, it’s because I miss mine”

nice very nice

[jbm]

An English guy is back home with his new Thai bride, they lay in bed one cold Sunday morning after just having sex and she is stroking his cock. “Honey” he says, “why do you like stroking my cock so much? is it because it’s so big?” she reply’s “no honey, it’s because I miss mine”

hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[collar]

LMAO lovbyts, they were awesome man.
really good.

[Flagg]

Here's a cheeky little joke that i suspect will more appeal to the British/Australian sense of humour...


What's difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg!

[Misery13]

repost.......

A boy asks his father if he could borrow his car for the night. The father says "yes, but you have to suck daddy's d*ck." The boy finally gives into it and begins sucking him, as soon as he starts, the boy shouts "Jeeze daddy! this tastes like shit." The father replies, "oh yeah I forgot, your sister borrowed it first."

[Misery13]

how many women does it take to retile the bathroom floor...?

one ...but you have to slice her really thin...

[jccnewbie]

Why does it take a woman so long to have an orgasm?



who cares

[kalspic]

what do chinamen do when they get erections?...





they vote.

[jccnewbie]

what do chinamen do when they get erections?...





they vote.

LOL... I like that one.

[ranging1]

Sorry some day Ill figure out how to embed it instead of only attaching it.

LMFAO i just feel off my computer chair

[lovbyts]

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first
day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area.

A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.
The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked,
'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.
It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies
you called for me.'
Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid
down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let
him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's
facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.
Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room towards him.
'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man,
'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his
way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he
was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.
Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep
the £500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You
haven't had a chance to see all
our facilities.'............................


'Listen young lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get
an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day.

I'm leaving.'

[lovbyts]

Speaking of jokes this is really good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdxDg...layer_embedded

[collar]

Speaking of jokes this is really good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdxDg...layer_embedded

LOL, i like that one haha.