Bipolar and Juice

[Nathan]

i agree with doc m and another thing is once your off some peole get depressed due to not gaining like while on and loss of killer pumps in the gym. it got me down for a couple of days. over all your hormones are a tricky think to mess with cuase they have a huge effect on mood and this might interact negativly with bi polar.

hey nathan have you tried any desensitization techniques for your anxieties?

Yes. Believe it or not, I used to be way weirder. I used to not to be able to lead a normal life. My mind was always going super fast, calculating and finding ways to entertain my obsessions. I used to have a counting compulsio, for instance. I used to count letters and shit until my head hurt. Then I'd bitch about my head hurting because I couldn't stop counting and so was told to just stop, which I couldn't do. Very strange indeed to know you're crazy yet feel helpless about it.

[vile0ner]

Yes. Believe it or not, I used to be way weirder. I used to not to be able to lead a normal life. My mind was always going super fast, calculating and finding ways to entertain my obsessions. I used to have a counting compulsio, for instance. I used to count letters and shit until my head hurt. Then I'd bitch about my head hurting because I couldn't stop counting and so was told to just stop, which I couldn't do. Very strange indeed to know you're crazy yet feel helpless about it.

I thought I was being watched, I sang inside of my head, never stopped singing, I would listen to mp3s on my computer and sing extra parts to songs over and over and over and over, then I began writing my own songs which are interesting to say the least, then when I wasn't singing, I thought the cia/css were after me, everytime a flicker on the tv happend I thought they were watching me, I would hear snaps on the phone and think it was tapped, I even once saw when I was watching tv a couple friends of the family & relatives on the television going about everyday life (starting a car to go to work), so I thought I could send electrical pulses with my brain to the television/computer and look and listen in to whoever I wanted, that's why I thought I was being watched, that lead me into reading a lot of buddhism, shamanism topics while I was recouperating from my psychosis, at one point I thought I was a SKYTELL, that could pick up what other people were thinking around the world, read in to a bunch of astral projection shit and thought I talked to my dead Grandmother that I never met in my life.
I had the most sensitive hearing I'd ever had in my entire life. My psychosis broke out with a snap of hallucinations and delusions, I was on the couch listening to the t.v and all of a sudden saw tracers of aliens running around the room, so I freaked out, tried to sleep but they followed me, hiding everywhere to observe me, then when I tried to talk to my parents, I couldn't understand what they were saying, no language, it was just a bunch of growls, grunts and clicks, which raised the hair on my fucking neck, tripped out on darwins theories ugh,
that night I couldn't sleep, then I tripped out thinking music was the way to call the aliens and I was singing all day so they must be coming, later when everybody was sleeping, I was sitting on the couch in my basement and I kept seeing tracers, I began to hallucinate about aliens running around my basement and all I heard were foreign clicks and clacks, then an explosive amount of clicks, like a hundred fire crackers went off in my basement, I ran up stairs scared shit less, turned on all the lights in my house, meditated while I laid down on my bed with my eyes open, and snapped out of my trance around 10am. That was some freaky shit I tell ya.

[vile0ner]

My thoughts also raced, but mine raced from one thought to another thought that had something to do with the last thought, then I would think of a new thought that was developed from the last thought, a loop thought of disaster.