mate,
just go ahead and do what you are going to do anways.
You have an emotional defense against a rational argument.
It's clear you have no knowledge about steroids. You don't know what "shut down" means. You have no concept of PCT. You have no conept of short term benefits vs. long term risks.
So in the interests of not getting people upset, do this....
take total quantity of var caps and divide by however many weeks you feel best to take, and then take that much var per week.
Good luck!
---Roman