Sounds like you got alot of madness in you that needs to get out (i know because i do too), it dosnt go away and always comes out at some stage, and after seeing your previous threads the best thing you can do i.m.o. is let the wife go now before you hurt her more, then in a year or whenever, if you decide you passed it and actually miss her, you may have a chance of getting things back with her, the way your going now she will most likely end up hating you
Yeah you are right, the sad thing is my wife still wants this to work but be separated for now. I think I`m going to go talk to a councilor, at this stage I need to clear my head from all this and get back to normal life like my job which fortunately I still have.