There is far more to life than a dream physique. I understand at 19 years of age, looking good and getting the girls seems like the only thing important to you. You have your whole life ahead of you and you will eventually realize that loooking good isn't the most important thing in life. Right now, your head is in the wrong place. "You don't care if you die"!?!?!?! That's easy to say. I spend my professional life telling people that they have terminal diseases and are going to die and let me tell you, I haven't met a person yet who didn't try to bargin for more time. No one WANTS to die. You need to get your head in the right place before you do this.