It seems a lot of people live their lives centered around the fitness lifestyle. If you require a mate that does the same I'd be up front with her from day one. If you aren't then you had just assumed that she shared your passion for fitness and were wrong. Me, I could care less if my wife goes to the gym or not. She has a membership but doesn't go as much as me. The important things are that she's a good mother, I trust her, great in bed and isn't a lazy woman who spends half her day eating. In fact she's thin and watches her diet for her self not to please me. As far as shallowness absolutely you are not. The reasons relationships fail is due to lack of shared interests. In fact nothing strengthens a relationship more than participating in activities together that you both enjoy. It builds friendship.