You got Mac Miller for your pic, you must be young I'm assuming. I know, I'm from the Burgh. I felt like you (depersonalization, suicidal thoughts, distant, panic attacks) before I found out I have low-medium testosterone. I personally don't see the point of running cycles and then coming off and losing your gains (slowly but surely) - but that's just me. I'm in week 6 of my cycle, going into trt right after, and I can't say I feel very much different (though I'm not running tren and only a moderate dose of test). If you're going to be cycling steroids, I would say just get off this cycle and wait until you're ready to be on for life then just blast and cruise responsibly.