Well I normally keep this lots safely locked away but you've guys have been very forth coming.

Presently on my first cycle

233IBS
13%B/f
5.10
26

It was October 1993 when I first walked into a gym in Plymouth, I'd trained before, swam and studied a few different martial arts. However, upto this point training with weights was always secondary and I didn't relate to the bigger guys in the gym.

In 1993 I weighed 150LBS and had a beer gut, I was suffering from emotional probelms brought about by my appearance, don't misunderstand this I wasn't fussed about my body but my face it was seriously fucked up. I decided to try and improve my body to compensate, and to help be being angry and depressed.

By 1994 I had started planning my training and diet, I had a lot to learn, I was over-training and eating the wrong food!! I was improving condition but not adding size. I read all the magazines and in 1996 started working in gym, I saw some of the guys on gear and was impressed but not ready for gear, and they we're abusing the stuff so I was mislead to believe AAS would end up killing you, these guys were cycling two years on one week off and taking D-Bol only! Idiots!

By 2001 I was up to 224LBS natural, I started researching AAS and commenced in July.

BB helped me when I hated myself, it taught me discipline and self-controll. I have changed alot in 8 Years, mentally and physically. I very rarely react to people, before I would jump up and down on their face, and think about the questions after. I have to live with alot of mistakes and a criminal record. However, I have learnt from my mistakes and have never repeated them. I do not know where I would be without BB, and the people that helped and supported me. Poeple respect what I have done with my body but no one bar my girlfriend understands why I want to spend the hours I do in the gym, eat to the point of being sick, spend £££ on supplements and have to change my clothes every six months cos they don't fit. I don't go in for showing off what I have created for it is not finished.

One day I want to compete and be the best I can be.

BB is an addiction, sometimes unhealthy but unless you've felt the weight yout never understand why its so fucking good, the rush the pump the pain.........I live for it. As we all do, everything we do is for 60-90 minutes in the gym, 6-8 meals and day, sleep, sacrifice, AAS, its all for the gym and to have the best workout you can have.

When will it stop.........when I die, hopefully if they bury me it will have to be in two coffin cos I'll be 300+

Peace

And thanks for sharing.

BA