MilitiaGuy, you are a dumbf**k .... you need to apply for the Ph.d programs and if you get accepted they pay for the tuition and will give you a teaching assistantship, then after 2 or 3 years you leave with a master's.

Anyway, if it's not too late I know a good school for you to apply to ..... it's called Yeshiva Univ. in NYC ..... you will love it there