Originally posted by THE BIG RED MACHINE
I knew that you couldn't stay completely serious throughout the entire response. You are human after all.
I'd like to claim credit for originality, but it's actually close to a routine that Lenny Bruce* did back in the 1950's (no, I don't remember the routine from then, but I've read Bruce's books).

He told the story of a guy who went to his friend at the local drug store and said, "Hey, man, I got a bad case of the clap. Can you give me something for it?"

"Sure," his buddy said, "here are some amphetamines."

"Will they cure the clap?"

"No, but you'll be so high that you won't give a damn."
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* For the youngin's here, Lenny Bruce was a comedian who died of a heroin overdose in the mid-1960's. He was often busted for obscenity at his peak, but he was a trailblazer who set the stage for contemporary comedians today. If you ever get the chance, rent the flick Lenny, which starred Dustin Hoffman as Bruce - it's a great historical piece.