Ok ladies, here's a tough one. Need some advice.

[statuZ]

Thanks for telling me how I felt in this kind of situation. Im sure you've been abused before and know everything dont you?

so your saying thats the reason for her being abused is her low self esteem issues, and therefore she wont stop seeing him caues of that? Well if you have been abused and did the same thing she did, all i have to say is your a ****ing idiot. hows that sound? and its 100% your fault for getting in that situation you were in, princess dont try and play it off like its not the girls fault, its just as much the girls fault as much as the guys if not more for being such moron. shit like this is common sense

[statuZ]

double post delete

[Schwarz]

Thanks for telling me how I felt in this kind of situation. Im sure you've been abused before and know everything dont you?

Nope I ain't been abused before and you know why because I'd never allow myself to be put in that situation and if I did get into that situation I'd get the hell out.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that it's right that this happens but I don't think it's clear cut to say women have no responsibility in it for putting themselves in that situation and not getting out.

I think it's about time women took responsibility for their own welfare. They profess to wanting equal rights well then it's about time you started looking out for yourselves. It's the same with these women who dress provocatively and flirt with men to get a free drink or a ride home or even a shopping trip and the get raped. Again, I'm not saying that it's right they get raped but you can't say they weren't partially responsible! But that's another thread.

Let's put it this way in this situation. If a man were to come up to a woman on the subway one morning (he doesn't know her) and beat the sh*t out of her and then take her drivers licence so he knew where she lived and her phone number and then every morning for a month he would do the same thing would the woman put up with it??? Even if he was calling her house and threatning her not to call the police (as per your previous post) would she put up with it?? No she wouldn't.

The only difference between this situation and the one described in the first post is that they are not in a relationship but why should that make any difference???

I don't believe any person is brought up believing that being hurt is good or that it means love or that it's fun and tickles. So why put up with it?? I can only base it on naivety or stupidity.

Just my opinion ttuprincess. Glad to hear you managed to realise what was happening and got out.

S

[OSTIE]

Depending how close you are to this girl, I would step in... many may not agree with this, but if this goes on, this girl could be permanately ****ed up for life emotionally/mentally.... It would be sad to see her so ****ed up that she cant even enjoy the rest of her long life...

Id beat the fck outta him when she wasnt around and ask him how he likes being slapped around.... Chances are, if he knows that you know that he sexually assaulted her and hit her, he isnt gonna say anything to anyone about you fckin him up....

[Phreak101]

Depending how close you are to this girl, I would step in... many may not agree with this, but if this goes on, this girl could be permanately ****ed up for life emotionally/mentally.... It would be sad to see her so ****ed up that she cant even enjoy the rest of her long life...

Id beat the fck outta him when she wasnt around and ask him how he likes being slapped around.... Chances are, if he knows that you know that he sexually assaulted her and hit her, he isnt gonna say anything to anyone about you fckin him up....

If he beats the f*ck out of the guy, I'd bet my ass and balls that the girl will end up resenting him MORE than the guy she is dating, simply because of her attachment to the guy....ladies? Any thoughts?

[OSTIE]

If he beats the f*ck out of the guy, I'd bet my ass and balls that the girl will end up resenting him MORE than the guy she is dating, simply because of her attachment to the guy....ladies? Any thoughts?

Like I said, if I were in this situation and this girl was a close friend of mine.... Id risk losing our friendship if there is a chance I could get this fckhead to stay away from her permanantly and have her go on to living a normal life... If what the dude said really happened, that kinda sh!t can fck up a girl for life.... id take the risk because there is no other way you are going to convince a girl in this position to just break up with him (if he even lets her break up with him)

[kloter1]

you can only help people that accept it. if they refuse then thats all you can do.

[lilKimmy2]

Some people don't realize how bad of a situation they are in because it has slowly crept up on them one terrible act at a time. Maybe if someone explained to her in the most brutal words possible what he has done to her, she will realize how awful it sounds and how he is negatively affecting her life.....OR ask the girl that is being victimized how she would feel if one of her friends were in that situation? ....wouldn't she want them to make the right choice and end the relationship??

[Timm1704]

dry-bum him with a breezeblock

[Mizfit]

This thread has the chance to get outta control..

I can't see a 27 yr old man staying with a 17 year old virgin for too long..

women in abusive relationships do have self esteem issues and until one finds themselves in one you can't really comment.. as TTU princess has said.. and yes even some of the strongest women have succume to them.

Abusive men usually are very controlling and convincing.. promise the world, only to take it away...

And yes as some of the men have stated in this thread there r cases where a man is falsely acused, but there r alot of cases where it really does happen.. and it's a sad case of affairs

[Tren Bull]

its very sad when this kind of thing happens, especially cause it only seems to happen to sweet girls. it makes it even worse cause you want to help the person, but you really cant... they have to help themselves

[Grappler13]

If this guy really did this to her and she's sticking up for him then she's obvoiusly a little confused but she is 19. So if it were a girl that I cared for, I'd take the guy out (really, not kill but take him out). I'm thinking maybe snapping both of his arms at the elbow: simple arm bar will work and the second will be easier than the first. In the time he takes to recover, he'll have learned a lesson and the little girl will probably get bored of nursing him quickly. Seriously, that's what I'd do. Call me a mysogynist prick, but you don't hit girls. If I see a guy hit a girl, I administer proper punishment on the spot and if I can't do it then, I'm a patient man.

[jerseyboy]

It never occurred to me that someone would call this girl a liar. She calls up my friend, who is a female, crying her eyes out because she was just assaulted. Perhaps I haven't been able to convey all the details of the situation but I see no reason for her to lie about it. Regardless, my original question was directed to the "Ladies" of the board so I can maybe understand what goes through a womans head when she's in this position.

[ttuprincess]

what goes through their mind?... "if he really loves me he will change.".. then comes "this is what love is suppose to be like" then one day she realizes that its not at all what a relationship shoul be like and files for a protective order and gets the hell outa dodge. sometimes hs doesn't make a move because she's afraid that he will come after her again and hurt her even more, or possibly her family.

I swear to you... once you get a phone call at 3 am and all you hear is "im going to kill you and your mom if you call the police again" in a very psychotic voice, and know from times before that the police dont believe anything that they can't hear on voicemail, that your not safe, you would re think asying anything to anyone.

maybe thats a bit to personal for ya but thats the damn reality of it all.

[Tren Bull]

thats why girls should have big roided out guy friends that will protect them in that situation

[ttuprincess]

thats why girls should have big roided out guy friends that will protect them in that situation

Its easy to say NOW what I should have/would have done then, butthat night there was no thinking involved

[Tren Bull]

did i miss something?

[Mizfit]

did i miss something?

I guess some people find it hard to beleive that abuse actually occurs...

and this thread mite've gone off on a tangent

[Smak]

^--- nice hot new avie Law.

But could you please make it bigger? Thanks.

[statuZ]

dude any girl that gets abused by a man, and still stays with him, i have no sympathy whatsoever. so i don't know whats going in trenbulls head, but its her fault anyway for getting in that type of a relationship (how is it not?), why should i pity you one bit? women are hypocrits and ****ing idiots its really as simple as that.

[lilKimmy2]

dude any girl that gets abused by a man, and still stays with him, i have no sympathy whatsoever. so i don't know whats going in trenbulls head, but its her fault anyway for getting in that type of a relationship (how is it not?), why should i pity you one bit? women are hypocrits and ****ing idiots its really as simple as that.

Don't blame us for the miserable experience's you've had with women, I think you are absolutely ignorant by assuming all women are hypocrits and idiots, you won't get very far in life with that attitude.

[statuZ]

Don't blame us for the miserable experience's you've had with women, I think you are absolutely ignorant by assuming all women are hypocrits and idiots, you won't get very far in life with that attitude.

Your right, im sorry. let me rephrase that to most women.

[956Vette]

women are hypocrits and ****ing idiots its really as simple as that.

Your right, im sorry. let me rephrase that to most women.

glad you apologized as you were flirting with a suspension/ban. ease off a little please.

[Tren Bull]

how can you hate on something as beautiful as a woman?

[Tren Bull]

the problem with a situation like this (other than the abuse that is taking place of corse) is that subconsciously, or maybe even consciously the person being victimized believes that they deserve it.

[Sta11ion]

Its her problem, she cant see it let her learn for herself. Dont bother with that drama.

[statuZ]

Its her problem, she cant see it let her learn for herself. Dont bother with that drama.

exactly all your ladies are giving all this bullshit advice, saying youve had this experience before. dude i dont care, thats not my fault, it sucks for you basically is what im trying to say i dont give a **** about it cause if it worried you that much yo uwould have don esomething about it befor eit even happened.

[Phreak101]

exactly all your ladies are giving all this bullshit advice, saying youve had this experience before. dude i dont care, thats not my fault, it sucks for you basically is what im trying to say i dont give a **** about it cause if it worried you that much yo uwould have don esomething about it befor eit even happened.

Mars and Venus dude...Mars and Venus...they just are not hard wired that way like we are...thats why they appreciate a guy who can understand where they are coming from...just my 2c's...

[goodcents]

exactly all your ladies are giving all this bullshit advice, saying youve had this experience before. dude i dont care, thats not my fault, it sucks for you basically is what im trying to say i dont give a **** about it cause if it worried you that much yo uwould have don esomething about it befor eit even happened.

wow. That's harsh (secretly admiring his ability to tell it like it is )

I will say it again, man hits woman=woman calls cops=man goes to jail=man keeps coming around=woman shoots man w/glock .40" Not rocket science

p.s. chics don't lie ?you will hear what really happened pretty soon and will be posting "the chic lied to me"

[jerseyboy]

I really can't believe the debate this thread has started. I guess Phreak put it best when he said men and women are just wired differently. We know now that this actually happened because the guy came to the mother, admitted what he did and apologized. I've had women beating on me and throwing things at me and never have I lifted a hand. I'm sure she didn't get into this expecting to get beat on. Let me tell you something though I have a daughter and if this ever happened to her he would be a dead man.

[steve0]

abused girls feel trapped and mostly dont know were to turn they dont want to tell family or friends because they will get respounses like thses, but in the end there a victim so do your best to help her out,,

[ttuprincess]

It's all the responses like the ones in this thread that make it so hard to open up to people and admit what is happeneing to you. No one wants to believe that it happens, just like the girl/or guy being abused doesn't want to admit it is happening at 1st. And i'll be real honest with ya'll, the first few months, maybe 6 or so, after I admitted that this was happening was almost more pain emotionally then any of the physical pain that Ryan caused me.

No one believing me. No way could Ryan have done this to me. He's the all american boy, so perfect. Having my house and my mom's on 24 hour patrol. Missing classes to be in a the DA's office to play back the 10 voicemails I had the night before so that they could be taped. Spending my JR year in court, not class. Not being able to sleep in my own bed because it was to dark in the room. Not being able to sleep at all at night because it was to quite in my apartment. Missing class again to sleep because I couldn't sleep during the day. This all was much more painful, and finally led up to an anziety attack were I calapsed in the middle of rehersal, was taken to the ER, diagnosed with BiPolar, placed on several Rx to just make me sleep. this is just the tip of the iceberg. And Im one of the lucky ones. I got myself out of it all.

But once again, a lot of the responses have made me feel once again the same feelings I had and why it took me so long to get out. And makes me realize how lucky I am to have found Vette, maybe one of the few who actually understands that i wasn't to blame for this, but I was lucky to see it happening before I lost my life.

[Mizfit]

It's all the responses like the ones in this thread that make it so hard to open up to people and admit what is happeneing to you. No one wants to believe that it happens, just like the girl/or guy being abused doesn't want to admit it is happening at 1st. And i'll be real honest with ya'll, the first few months, maybe 6 or so, after I admitted that this was happening was almost more pain emotionally then any of the physical pain that Ryan caused me.

No one believing me. No way could Ryan have done this to me. He's the all american boy, so perfect. Having my house and my mom's on 24 hour patrol. Missing classes to be in a the DA's office to play back the 10 voicemails I had the night before so that they could be taped. Spending my JR year in court, not class. Not being able to sleep in my own bed because it was to dark in the room. Not being able to sleep at all at night because it was to quite in my apartment. Missing class again to sleep because I couldn't sleep during the day. This all was much more painful, and finally led up to an anziety attack were I calapsed in the middle of rehersal, was taken to the ER, diagnosed with BiPolar, placed on several Rx to just make me sleep. this is just the tip of the iceberg. And Im one of the lucky ones. I got myself out of it all.

But once again, a lot of the responses have made me feel once again the same feelings I had and why it took me so long to get out. And makes me realize how lucky I am to have found Vette, maybe one of the few who actually understands that i wasn't to blame for this, but I was lucky to see it happening before I lost my life.

Nope hun.. trust me i know exactly where your coming from.... I can admit to falling victim as well to this.. and i understand than some men don't get it.. i dated a guy who was abusive for 2 years.. no he didnt hit me for 2 years.. the violence progressed..

Abusive relationships don't start out violent.. He was wonderful in the begining.. caring, loving.... then one day.. nothing i did was good enough. He started second guesing a lot of what i did, who my friends were and even my relationship with my sister became strained.

The first stages he was verbal and it was about a year in.. he was posseive before, but after a year feelings are invovled and its a little harder to leave.. As you become weaker, the abuser becomes stronger. and Yes i understand how it's really easy for someone who hasnt been in this situation to say.. leave..and when i was younger , and before this happened to me i said the same thing.. then at the age of 25 it happened....

After i walked away from this relationship, thank god.... i could.... I actually beleived i was ugly.. and that no one else would ever want me..

I know better now but it took time to build myself back up and find myself again.

I do take responsibility for this in some degree because i do know that people can only do to us what we allow them to do to us.. but there is no excuse for hitting a woman in my book.. unless she hits u tooo..

[Anna Bollick]

Girlfriend, hook up with your local TS hookers and get a few vials of estradiol valerate. Transfer the est to empty test vials. Try to score some spironolactin, as well. Tell him the spiro is dbol from a new UG. Give him the test and tell him to go heavy with it. Sell him this cycle cheap. The spiro will shut him down hard, and if he stays on long enough, semi=permanently. (warn him that there might be a slight loss of libido so he doesn't smell a rat right away) The estradiol of course will, well, you know. He will be relatively harmless within about 4 weeks. He will, however, be very bitchy, like a chick on her period. It should be quite amusing to monitor his progress, and the disbelief in the girl's eyes as she notices his new behavior and watches his titties grow. He might remain her "best friend", but they won't be romantically or sexually entangled for very long, I am thinking. heeheeheeheehee!

Love
Anna

[Mizfit]

Girlfriend, hook up with your local TS hookers and get a few vials of estradiol valerate. Transfer the est to empty test vials. Try to score some spironolactin, as well. Tell him the spiro is dbol from a new UG. Give him the test and tell him to go heavy with it. Sell him this cycle cheap. The spiro will shut him down hard, and if he stays on long enough, semi=permanently. (warn him that there might be a slight loss of libido so he doesn't smell a rat right away) The estradiol of course will, well, you know. He will be relatively harmless within about 4 weeks. He will, however, be very bitchy, like a chick on her period. It should be quite amusing to monitor his progress, and the disbelief in the girl's eyes as she notices his new behavior and watches his titties grow. He might remain her "best friend", but they won't be romantically or sexually entangled for very long, I am thinking. heeheeheeheehee!

Love
Anna

u rock GF

[Tren Bull]

anna, thats hilarious. even more fitting than a physical beat down.

[jerseyboy]

Ok guys. There's hope. I haven't got the details yet but it seems she stood up for herself and through his ass to the curb. She did say something to the affect that there are nice guys out there that will give women more respect. Looks like there may be a happy ending to this story. That is if she doesn't take him back next week.

[Mizfit]

Ok guys. There's hope. I haven't got the details yet but it seems she stood up for herself and through his ass to the curb. She did say something to the affect that there are nice guys out there that will give women more respect. Looks like there may be a happy ending to this story. That is if she doesn't take him back next week.

tell her to talk to someone.. if you can.. a consellor of some type.. she might have issues she might not even be aware of..(inside)

good luck