Why i havent been around

[tranzit]

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[Booz]

[QUOTE=tranzit]I'm sorry guys and gals i just get pissed off when everything gets turned around and blamed on AAS. I am 32 years old and i know my limits and what i should and shouldnt do. I do not plan on going on anything untill everything is and has been stable for awhile then i will do a simple 1500mg sust 1-15 800mg yellow top decca 1-12 and 50 mg dbol 1-7. weight 259 lbs right now, my avg body weight is always over 290 on cycle 315-330 so you can see where i would want to bulk up a bit. but as i said i will make damn sure i am 100% before i go back. this wasnt a gradual failure where there was a culprate this was a complete shut down out of no where. my urine was amber no pains no smells nothing then all of a sudden bam it hits for no reason. i mean there is a reason but it would take me 3 days of typeing to explain. and just this part i wrote here took me a half hour i am having to learn to type and write again. its comming back fast but itsd still hard. the hardest thing is i have lost so much weight i cant walk a block without falling down. and i have trouble talking somtimes. its getting better. some days are better then others but im going to stay posotive.my goal for june 280 lbs 11% body fat. thats my goal lets see if i can make it a reality.

I really do love you guys why else would i come back for the abuse.

P.S. Boz if i become cripple im moving in with you and the wife and kids.
Marcus said it was ok.[/QUOTE]

lol baggsy you take the wife n i take Marcus......................

[TinTin78]

I wish you best of luck Tranzit, just go with the flow for a while and don't try to force things to get better. It will take time so it is good if you find some new cool stuff to do in the meanwhile. And don't punish yourself because you wont be able to keep the same intensity in all the things you do.

I've had a mental collapse the last 7 months and the hardest part were not to punish myself for not having the strength to do ordinary shit things. So if you feel like the most worthless piece of shit that can't be there for people, just let it go. You will come back and you will be able to do things for those around you again. So this wave is coming to shore and you just have to surf it the whole way even if it seems like forever.

Good luck man

[Bojangles69]

PTSD is one of the hardest disorders to treat, right on top with schizophrenia.
You said your on BP meds, ask you doctor about propanolol. You can learn more about it here:

http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/21/memory_drug

[firmechicano831]

What's up Tranzit? I'm glad that we have you back now. Take care and hopefully you will recover soon.

[dive_kid]

tranzit: good to see ya man. from one broken bro to another, I know how ya feel. a short while ago I almost boght the farm. keep the head up and keep doing what you love.

[PaRiS2005]

Who are you??

[shwamin2004]

Hey bro! Havent seen you in forever! What have you been up to?

[tranzit]

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