Originally Posted by terraj
Great bro
Live every week like it's shark week
Nothing to it, but to do it
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
Associate Member
I like this version better:
Why did the woman cross the road?
who gives a f**k, what's she doing out of the kitchen and who gave her the shoes!?
Associate Member
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
"Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"
My favourite Indian joke... umm... native american joke ha ha. and ya, I'm a chief myself lol.
Have You Picked a Fight Lately?
Two men walk into a bar...
I forget the rest, but your mothers a whore.
Knowledgeable Member
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.'
Anabolic Member
LMFAo
why do women have small feet?
so they can get closer to the stove
Anabolic Member
Man 1: "I can have any woman in this pub."
Man 2: "How's that then?"
Man 1: "I'm a rapist
Q: How does an ethiopian woman know when she's pregnant?
A: When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten
What's the difference between regular blood and period blood? You can eat period blood with a fork.
What's the fastest thing on Earth??
An Ethiopian with a lunch ticket
why didnt they turn the heat on in the swimming pool at the special olympics??
They didnt want to boil the vegetables
Knowledgeable Member
How do you make a 7 yr old cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dk on his favorite stuffed animal.
AR's Think Tank - Retired
My ex-girlfriend started talking about marriage yesterday.
Hence the 'ex'
AR's Think Tank - Retired
The ultimate dilemma:
Whilst having a wank when watching porn, do you;
a) Wear headphones and risk not hearing someone coming up the stairs
b) Put the sound on low and risk one of the girls moaning louder than you expected, thus alerting everyone in the house
c) Use just one headphone but run the risk of only hearing the bloke in the movie grunting
AR's Think Tank - Retired
Just as the porn video finishes loading a message appears at the corner of my screen:
"Battery low - 5 mins remaining"
Game on.
Knowledgeable Member
whats the worst thing about bald *****?
Putting the diaper back on
out of here
You 2 dont ever post again ever... EVER! ...
Knowledgeable Member
yes i know its horrible but i had to tell itYou 2 dont ever post again ever... EVER! ...
Knowledgeable Member
What gets louder as it gets smaller?You 2 dont ever post again ever... EVER! ...
a baby in a trash compactor
New Member
Blonde friend of mine texted me today and said "what does IDK mean?" I answered "I dont know" she answered "OMG! nobody does!!"
New Member
Same chic, I told her I went to a car accident the other day where 2 Brazilian guys died. She said "OMG!! that's horrible.... how many is a brazilian?"
New Member
I want to know who the first person was to look at a cow and say "hmmmm, I think I'm going to squeeze those dangly things down there and drink whatever comes out"
New Member
What's the only animal with an a**hole on it's back? A police horse.
New Member
Am I up to 25 yet..... 12 crap LOL
AR-Elite Hall of Famer (RETIRED)
^Any particular reason you need to get up to 25 posts so quickly, Marine? hmmmm
New Member
Drunk guy in a bar goes to the bathroom. In a few seconds the bar is filled with a loud yell coming from the bathroom, couple seconds later another loud yelp. The bartender goes into the bathroom to see what the problem is. He opens the door and said "what the hell is going on in here, your disturbing the customers" the man says "every time I try to flush this toilet something jumps up and grabs my balls!!!" the bartender replies "well then get of the mop bucket you idiot??"
New Member
YES..... I'm shrinking LOL! need to look at some pics
New Member
What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they were both stuck up Bit**es
New Member
What did Bill Gates wife say to him on their honeymoon? "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"
New Member
What's the German word for constipation?
farfrompoopin
New Member
Why is it hard for women to find a man that is caring, attractive, and sensitive? Because they all have boyfriends.
New Member
procrastinators of the world unite!!!!! .......... Tommorrow
New Member
What has 142 teeth, and can hold back incredible hulk? My zipper.
New Member
How do you make a woman pick cotton? Light her string on fire!
New Member
I hear Shaq is a cop now.... If he ever told me to stop or he'd shoot, I think I'd take the chance.
New Member
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not like the screaming passengers in his car.
New Member
How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it!
Associate Member
:haha lol
Anabolic Member
Farrah fawcet died and went to heaven. God gave her one wish. She wished all the children in the world would be safe, so God killed Micheal Jackson.
Banned
I liked this one but you need to know NJ to get it:
A teacher in a Camden kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.
Little Tyrone stood up and yelled:
"Hands Up and FREEZE MUTHAFVCKA!!"
apparently there are no farms in Camden.. lmao
Anabolic Member
lol yea BO, definetaly felt awkward silence after that joke lol
Member
Whats the difference between a white fairytale and a black fairytale?
The white fairytale begins with "Once upon a time". A black fairytale begins "Yo, you ain't gonna believe this shit"
Banned
ahaa I love racial jokes keepm comin
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