post your jokes here, let's bring some smiles and laughs to the site

[dooie]

How could he with an avi like that?

Haha true!!

[G Lock]

What do you call a girl who doesn't have sex with you on the first date..... you don't call her at all

[JAB1]

What is the difference between a whore and a bitch??

A whore will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone except you!!

[spywizard]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No. What did that stupid shit do this time?" says the patron.
"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills the ****er because he's been driving me nuts" says the patron.
The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"What now?" responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.
"Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!!!"

[spywizard]

I went into a whore house (not that there is anything wrong with that)

made a deal with this pretty young thing and we went up to a room..

While i was getting undressed and she was getting ready she noticed that i was putting
cotton in my nose and my ears.

Curious she asks "Why are you putting cotton in your nose and ears"??

I respond "because i hate the sound of screaming women and burning rubber"..

[spywizard]

A member here who strips at a night club but who will remain nameless..

Went to see a professional working girl for sex due to his micro penis syndrome ..

they struck a deal and went up stairs..

when they both got naked and she saw how small he was she said.."Who are you going to satisfy with that"???

he replied "Me"..

[G Lock]

What do you call RAPPER OBIE TRICE from D12 if he became fat? ....OBESITY

There once was a farm, the farmer does not only run his own farm but also sells amazing products for fellow farmers. Today a young girl came up to him and asked him if she could help him in his farm for free out of the goodness of her heart, the farmer allows the girl to help as she wishes so the girl goes and starts working. While this is going on a fellow customer comes up to his farm and ask do you have anything that can dig up my weeds thats killing my crop because alot of my tools have been damaged due to my stupid wife breaking all my equipment. The young girl is still working in the farm. She wants to show the farmer how dedicated she is so she digs up everything that could be killing his crop, she dug so fast that in the short span of one hour she has done what no man could do in a day.
While this is going on the farmer is talking to his customer and the customer replies while pointing at the young girl "You got a ho like that I could buy?"

[07backbreaker]

There was obce a cruise in the pacific ocean that sunk....

Three people survived on an island....two men and one woman...

Over the next few years they did what they had to with her to their sexual plesure..then she died

So they got desperate...very very desperate... they did now what they had to....over the next few years they realized what they were doing is wrong and immoral ..... so they buried her......

[tcw]

Razr...you can always purchase a strap on (if you don't have one already)

Damn how cool would that be to have an extra cock. For both holes or two girls at once or both

[BFM]

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.


She told me that I had to quit masturbating.


I asked why,



she said, "Because I am trying to examine you."

[rvca]

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto..

Lmao

[G Lock]

one things for sure if you go to a bar that is built inside a farm......you can't touch the hen without rubbin the cock.

[G Lock]

seven

[G Lock]

eight

[G Lock]

nine

[G Lock]

That was so funny right?

[BFM]

One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom. The
wife was getting out of the shower and the husband grabs
her boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn't need
a bra."


The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him.


The next week the two are again in the bathroom and while
the wife was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and
says

"If your ass was firmer you wouldn't need a
girdle."


The wife is now pissed and is ploting her revenge.

One day a week later the husband is getting out of the
shower and the wife grabs his dick and says

"If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn't need your brother."

[Shol'va]

My neighbor's wife just had twin boys. She had a hard time deciding what to call them but since the father worked for GM they finally decided on...Hosea and Hose-B

[DrSchmee]

Want to hear a joke?

Women's rights

[Gaspari1255]

I got in a car accident yesterday with a midget,
he popped out of his smashed car and said "I'm not happy!"
I said "Well then, which one are ya?"

[spywizard]

I got in a car accident yesterday with a midget,
he popped out of his smashed car and said "I'm not happy!"
I said "Well then, which one are ya?"

duhhh

he's grumpy

[Shol'va]

Whats a guy with a 12 inch cock have for breakfast?
Well this morning I had two eggs over easy, whole wheat toast, and coffee

What do you call a truck load of vibrators
Toys for twats

Is it better to be born black or gay?
Black because you don't have to tell your parents

Why don't senators use book marks?
They just bend over the pages...

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather
Kinky is when you use the whole chicken...

[BFM]

A man tries to enter heaven but first he has a chat
with St. Peter, keeper of the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter explains that it is not easy to get into heaven.
There are some criteria to be met before entry is allowed.
St. Peter asked the man several questions.

Was he religious in life? Did he attend church?

Was he generous? Did he give money to the poor, to
charities? Did he do any good deeds? Did he help his neighbor?

The man answered, "No".

St. Peter said, "Not good, not good."

Exasperated, St. Peter says, "Look, everybody
does something nice sometime. Work with me,
I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this little old lady. I
came out of a store and found her surrounded by
a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were
shoving her, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I
threw my bags down, fought my way through the crowd and
got her purse back. I helped her to her feet.
Then I went up to the biggest, meanest biker
and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean
he was and then I spit in his face."

"Wow, said St. Peter,
"That's impressive. When did this happen?"

"Oh, about ten minutes ago"

[stocky121]

my girl says i wish i could have bigger breasts.
i replied try pushing them into the sofa and stay like that all day.
she asks do you think that will help.
i said well its worked on your ass.